A one shot written for the Paws & Art Banner fic contest
Paws & Art
Title: Right Now
Summary: Set two years after Eclipse. No Breaking Dawn
Banner #3 Quil/Bella
To see all the stories that are a part of this contest please visit: http: / / printingpawss . blogspot . com/
Disclaimer: the characters and all recognizable situations belong to Stephanie Meyer
(Set two years after Eclipse)
I stood at the counter, drinking a beer, the flavor providing little comfort, offering nothing more than a slight calming effect. I would give almost anything for a good buzz. Embry walked in and I knew that I wouldn't be able to duck out on this conversation, again.
"Who is she?" He asked pulling a beer from the fridge.
"Bull shit," He said leveling me with his gaze.
Sighing, I looked up at my best friend, "It doesn't matter who she is, does it?" I asked the bitterness in my voice unmistakable.
"Do you love her?"
"I can't give her anything, not a damn thing. I can't tell her I love her and that I'll never leave her, I can't marry her and give her my name, I can't watch her swell with my child, I can't do anything because some wolf magic says I'm supposed to give all that to a fucking two year old," I snarled.
"I'm sorry. Quil you're like my brother… I'm so fucking sorry," Embry said and I knew he was. He was the only one who gave a damn about how I felt. Everyone else thought I was being stubborn.
"You want to know the worse part?" I asked taking a deep breath. "I want all that, and I want it with her. I want to marry her, and give her my name, I want to wake up every morning to her face and fall asleep beside her every night. I want my children to look like her. We'd have beautiful babies, they would be so fucking perfect," I told him feeling the tears fall. "FUCK," I yelled dragging my hands across my face.
"Then leave, and don't look back. You can't go on like this,"
"I can't… fuck, I want to but I… I cannot risk, if I… Em if I were to leave her in five, ten or fifteen years for the goddamn curse the Ancestors plagued me with… it would kill her, I can't do that to her, she deserves more,"
"What are you going to do?"
"I don't know… I've never even kissed her, never felt her against me… never told her I love her." I admitted.
"Quil…" Em started to say..
"I gotta get out of here," I told him grabbing my wallet and barreling out the front door.
I made the three and a half drive to Seattle in just under two, thanking the Spirits I didn't' get pulled over. I pulled into the parking lot as I had done every Saturday night for the last seven months.
I walked in to the dimly lit bar and found my usual seat, ordered a beer, and turned to watch her work. She had gotten over the clumsiness; she'd filled out and grown up. Her eyes held secrets; my lips trapped my own from being spoken. I watched as she waited on drunken fools, and flitted around the room never knowing how achingly beautiful she is.
When the last barstool was lifted and the floor swept, I deposited a few bucks in the jukebox.
"Dance with me,"
I held Bella, her body molded against mine, as we swayed to the music. The bass of the haunting tune playing through the speakers, mimicking the hopelessness of our situation. I pulled back and looked down at Bella as she looked up at me. I held her gaze trying to show her everything I felt through my eyes, and knowing no matter what she saw, it would never speak of the depth.
"Bella, I…" I started to say only to be silenced when her finger reached my lips, stilling them from saying the words we both knew were hanging off my tongue.
Bella stood on her tippy toes and pressed her lips to mine. Lingering and sweet and over much too soon but I felt everything in her touch. Pulling her lips from mine, she leaned into my ear as much as her tiny 5'4 self would allow.
"Don't say anything you will have to take back," I could only nod. She knew…
"We can have right now." She whispered.
At the end of each day when the sun set and darkness took hold, we were left with the consequences of the choices that had been taken from us, made for us, but for right now, with the moon lighting the night sky, I could make her mine.
This would be the last night I came to her, the last night she would wait for me and the only night we would steal as ours. Anything more than tonight and neither of us would survive.
"Let's get out of here," I told her never breaking our gaze. She nodded and laced her hand through mine as we made our way to the exit.
Silently we climbed into my truck, drove to the first hotel on the strip, and got the keys to a room.
We made our way into the room, the silence of the moment allowed us both to wish for a different kind of ending to our story.
"For, right now." I whispered before gently touching my lips to hers telling her everything with words unspoken. I traced her lips with my tongue sighing when I tasted her mouth, strawberries.
Our kiss was not heated not hungry, it was full of all the words we would never speak, filled with all the unfairness, all the choices we never got to make.
I kissed her lips, tasting her mouth then moved to her jaw and kissed my way to the spot just below her ear. "Right now." I whispered taking her lobe into my mouth and letting my tongue taste the delicate flavor of her skin.
Bella's hands were under my shirt, tracing the muscles in my back, and then her hands roamed the contours of my chest and abs. Her touch left me tingling. I started unbuttoning her shirt one button at a time, awed at the flawless porcelain beauty with each inch of creamy flesh I revealed.
Unclasping her bra and seeing her round breasts took my breath away. She was beautiful. I let one hand wind around her tiny waist as my other began cupping her breasts, my mouth covering her pink nipple and tasting. I could hear quiet moans coming from her lips as I kissed, licked, and nibbled.
I pulled my mouth from her breast, kissed her lips as I lifted her under her knees, with her legs wrapped around me I carried her the few steps to the bed.
I hovered over her, feeling the shift in the air around us, it smelled of promise and tasted like heartache.
Looking into Bella's eyes, I began unbuttoning her pants, sliding them off her legs. Bella lay before me in only a pair of light blue lace panties, I was sure no one in the world had ever looked so hauntingly beautiful.
Sliding her panties from her body, her sweet musky scent hit me making my head spin. I kissed up her legs, nibbling the underside of her knee, until I made my way to her sex. I looked at her once more before I guided each of her legs around my neck, nestling myself right at her center. Her scent made my mouth water; I swiped one finger over her slit, and gasped at the feel of her liquid heat. My tongue followed the same path moaning as her flavor hit my tongue. Bella was the sweetest taste ever to pass my lips.
Bella was making mewling sounds and gently rocking her hips as her hands ran through my hair. I let one finger slide into her warmth and had to bite back my own moan at the feeling of her wetness. I flicked my tongue against her swollen hood and moaned when I heard her quiet utterance of my name. Pulling her clit into my mouth, I gently bit down as I let a second finger slide into her, feeling her clench and release her sweetness into my mouth. Heaven, I thought.
I pulled away from her body pulling my shirt over my head and taking my jeans off. I kissed my way back up her flawless form, finding her lips and pouring all of my emotions into a soundless declaration. Hovering over her, I looked into her eyes, the eyes that told you what she would never say aloud. I lined myself up to her entrance and slowly began entering her body, joining mine with hers.
I stilled letting her body adjust to the intrusion. Neither of were virgins, but I could feel she wasn't far from it. I had to bite my cheek to keep from crying out, there are no words to describe how she felt around me, hot wet and tight.
After a minute, I felt her rock against me, and knew that it was ok for me to start moving. Pulling back, I wrapped my arms around her kissing her lips as I moved inside her. Oh, god she felt good. I could hear her moan, her breath fanning across my face. Dear Spirits how can you be so unfair.
I moved against her, my body connected to hers. Back and forth, like a pendulum. Her legs wrapped around my waist. In – out, up – down, knowing nothing would ever feel like this moment with this woman. Looking into her eyes, I knew she was thinking the same as I.
"I… I... right now." I told her.
"Right now." She said, in a quiet whisper.
We rocked against each other, relishing in our choice to have this moment and mourning the knowledge that this moment is all we had. I kissed Bella's lips as we came together, quiet smothered moans escaping both of us.
I didn't want to separate our bodies, so I stayed inside her as long as was acceptable. Pulling myself from her was painful; I felt the loss from my head to my heart, to my toes. Emptiness and void swept through me.
I pulled her into my arms, holding her close and letting myself for just a moment think about what it would feel like if she were truly mine.
"Don't go, not yet." I whispered. I felt her nod, kissing my chest where her head lie. I could feel her wet tears on my chest and feel as my own leaked free. There were no words that would change the reality of our situation; it simply was what it was. Of all the unfairness in the world, I think this might be the cruelest.
I am not sure how long we lay there before I drifted to sleep with Bella lying on top of me, her nude body touching every inch of my own nakedness, skin on skin.
I woke when I felt her leave my arms. I pretended to sleep, I felt her eyes on me, and smelled her salty tears, heard her heartbeat as she watched me. It was a battle to keep my own tears from once again falling. I felt the bed dip as she rose and heard the rustle of clothes as she dressed. I could feel her all around me.
I knew she was leaving.
I felt her lean into me, kissing my lips, "right now, always." She whispered slipping out of the room. She was my choice, if it was I who got to make the choice.