In the Dark of the Night
The Doctor crept towards her bedroom door, then pressed his ear up against it. It sounded as though she were sleeping. He swallowed thickly, his hand hovering over the door handle.
No. No, this is wrong, he thought to himself.
He withdrew his hand and took a step back.
Then he hesitated.
Is it though? She's Rose, she won't mind, he reasoned. She's my best friend. It's her job to be there for me.
He nodded. He liked his new rationalisations.
Holding my hand is one thing; holding me in her arms in her bed is another, he grudgingly pointed out to himself.
He took another step back.
But I've done this for her, he realised. I've comforted her after a nightmare before. Why should it be different the other way around?
His eyes lit up. He silently congratulated himself on his excellent point.
Let's do this, he bravely announced in his mind.
He closed the distance between himself and the door again, and twisted the handle open, trying to be as quiet as possible as he sneaked inside.
His breath caught in his throat as he looked over at her bed.
Damn. I didn't factor in the fact that she's beautiful.
Sleeping peacefully, a relaxed smile on her face, Rose was curled up in her duvet with her hair scattered about her pillow, and she looked stunning.
He felt his feet carry him towards her and couldn't exactly tell them to stop. Standing over her, he watched her sigh softly and roll over, and he almost laughed at the situation because she'd unconsciously made room for him on her bed, as if sensing his presence.
You see, this is why I love her, he thought, a tender smile on his face. She's always known me so well.
He reached for the duvet, lifting it up slightly and intending to get in beside her, knowing deep down that she really wouldn't mind (so where's the harm, eh?)...
And there, in that room, in that moment, something happened.
He touched bare skin.
His eyes widened and he couldn't help but look at the little bit of a view he'd got from lifting up the duvet the tiniest amount.
Her back was completely bare. He gulped at the sight.
All that...that...that bare skin, just waiting for me to touch –
No. No no no no no. No. Not what I came in here for.
He dropped the duvet and started backing away, but then accidently crashed into her dressing table and knocked a lamp flying. Luckily, his quick Time Lord reflexes managed to catch it before it smashed on the floor; but his Gallifreyan cursing had already woke her up.
"Doctor?" she mumbled sleepily, stifling a yawn. She sat upright, holding the duvet up to her chest with one hand. "You okay?"
He cleared his throat awkwardly and rubbed the back of his neck. "Yeah! Yeah, I'm fine – I just – I – um..."
Her brow furrowed in concern after glancing at the clock. "Is something wrong? It's three fifteen."
He sighed, knowing he had to provide some sort of explanation. He decided to go with the truth. "I had a bit of a...nightmare," he admitted, wincing in embarrassment. But his embarrassment faded quickly at the sight of her kind, wonderful smile. She exuded such warmth and sympathy that he wanted to cuddle her until he too felt warm. "I just needed a hug," he continued softly.
"Well, come here then," she offered, gesturing with her free hand.
He moved towards her but didn't go in for the hug, because he couldn't stop thinking about how she had a very naked chest right now. He squinted at her in the dim light that was streaming in from the doorway. "Rose, you've, er...not, um. Got anything on," he said hurriedly, trying not to blush.
"Got knickers and socks on," she shrugged casually, then giggled at his dumbfounded expression when she stuck her feet out the bottom of the duvet to prove it to him.
"But no, no...er..."
"Top?" she supplied.
"Yes, that," he agreed.
"I was knackered when we got back from Seritora. Stripped off and couldn't be bothered to put my pyjamas on. I was having a nice deep sleep, and then you showed up," she informed him gently.
He tugged his ear uncomfortably. "Ah, yes, sorry about that. Maybe I should just...go..."
"No, don't be silly," she assured him, grabbing his hand and tugging him down onto the bed. She turned onto her side and wrapped her arm around his waist, cuddling against him; the duvet all there was between his t-shirt-covered chest and her non-t-shirt-covered chest.
She squeezed him gently, trying to get him to relax, and he let out a long breath, finally bringing his arm around her to hug her back. He let his cheek rest on the top of her head and breathed her in.
She always smells so lovely, he thought idly, holding her tight.
"So, what was this nightmare about, then?" she whispered against his shoulder, her hot breath tickling his skin. He fought against a shiver and lost, causing her to giggle quietly before silencing herself, evidently trying to be tactful under the circumstances; "Was it about the War?" she asked carefully. "About Gallifrey?"
"No," he whispered back honestly.
"No? Oh. Um. Alright then, was it about someone you...lost?" she murmured.
His hearts ached painfully in his chest and he nuzzled her hair to try and distract himself from the feeling. "Not quite," he spoke, his voice ragged and cracking with emotion. "At least, I hope not."
She lifted her head to peer into his eyes curiously. "What do you mean?" she asked, tenderly stroking his sideburn.
He met her gaze with an intensity that would've startled her, had she not been Rose, the woman who had stood between him and a Dalek and saw him to the very depths of his soul. Instead she just looked at him with a mixture of empathy, love, and forever in her eyes, as if she wanted to make him happy until her dying day. He would've been startled at that, the sheer depth of her forgiveness and devotion, had he not been the Doctor, the man who would quite easily fight for her to keep looking at him like that until the end of time itself. "It was...it was indescribably painful, Rose," he confessed, his throat tightening at the memory of it.
"What happened?" she asked next, not pressuring him to tell her, simply brushing her fingertips across his temple, his cheek, his jawline, in silent but glorious comfort. She shifted slightly to position her arm better as it started to ache, resting it on his bicep.
During her movement, the material gathered up behind her slipped down, and he instinctively flattened his palm against her lower back, chasing the warmth of her bare skin. He tilted his head towards hers, his hearts speeding up. "You were gone," he whispered.
She stilled her caressing for a second, then resumed. "Gone?"
"Yeah," he breathed out roughly. "It felt so real, Rose."
She bit her lip, and tried to snuggle closer to him, wrapping her arm back around his waist. "It wasn't," she whispered. "This is real, I'm here. Never gonna go."
He head fell against hers, their cheeks brushing, his lips at her ear. "You will, though. One day," he murmured, and as he said the words a little piece of his soul splintered in mourning of the fact, the very fact, that he would, one day, lose her. One day, she wouldn't be here anymore. On his ship. In her bedroom. In his arms.
"Ten quid says I accidently eat something weird on some planet in the future and end up living 'til I'm a hundred and sixty-four," she teased lightly, trying to ease the tension in the air.
He chuckled at the idea. "Sounds like something you'd accidently do," he grinned, sliding his hand up her spine, tickling her softly.
"Yep," she giggled back.
She tilted her head back again and they looked at each other for a few minutes, quiet, contemplative, and completely unguarded. It was as if she were telepathic, as if they could communicate without words.
Without either of them announcing it, or telling the other it would be okay, the Doctor carefully peeled away the duvet from between them and cast it aside; and she most definitely let him. He rolled her onto her back and went with her, hovering over her, one hand pressed firmly into the pillow beside her head to keep his weight off her, the other hand trailing down her ribcage; his eyes watched his fingertips in fascination as they caressed each rib they came across, and then her stomach, seeing it quiver beneath his touch, and then her hipbone, tracing the sensitive skin. He didn't yet dare let himself look at her breasts, sure that his luck would evaporate any moment and she would chuck him out of her bed, out of her room.
But then she grabbed his hand and guided it back up to her chest. He raised his gaze, following her motion.
Oh there they are, he thought to himself, gulping, now unable to tear his eyes away.
She wrapped her leg around his to make him lose his balance, and his body fell atop hers in a very nice way indeed.
They feel even nicer than they look, he mused.
She looped her arms around his neck and slid her fingers into his hair. And then she kissed him.
After some time leisurely exploring each other's mouths, Rose decided she wanted to do a little more exploring. Scrabbling at the material of his t-shirt she got him to lift his arms up so that she could remove it and feel his bare torso beneath her warm, excited hands. She bit her lip appreciatively, but not in the least hesitantly, as she nuzzled his throat and ran her fingers through the soft dusting of hair at his chest. He stared down at her in awe as she looked up at him with such unbidden love and want in her eyes.
Soon, she manouvered herself from underneath him, and he flopped onto his back in curiousity as she gave him a rather sultry look.
And then, Rose scooted down the bed and, as she went, slowly eased off his pyjama trousers. She shot him a cheeky grin, before crawling up his body a little bit.
As he watched on with a confused expression, she lowered her head and did something that quite possibly tilted the universe on its side. That was what it felt like to the Doctor, anyway.
"Rose!" he exclaimed, in joyful surprise. "Ohhhh dear. That's – wow, that's...rather...splendid..." He panted for breath, resting on his elbows to watch her play out her exquisite torture. He realised within mere seconds of her ministrations that he would dream about this very moment for around about forever. It was...
Oh. So good.
Not too long later, he was gasping out her name again, and Rose grinned in triumph.
After, as she settled herself beside him again, he rolled onto her and nipped playfully at her jaw. "So...do I get to...?" he waggled his eyebrows at her as he moved down her body.
Her eyes widened. "You want to?"
"I would love to," he gushed, his fingertips softly caressing the inside of her thighs.
"I've never..." She swallowed thickly.
"Me neither; first time for everything!" he grinned brightly. "It's nice that we can have firsts together," he mused quietly. "Hang on. But you've...er, done what you just did for me, before..." He raised an eyebrow. "No one repaid the favour?" He sounded almost scandalised at the thought. Rose shook her head with an exaggeratedly mournful expression. "Double standards, that is," he told her ruefully. Then, he looked on the bright side; "Still! At least I've got no one to live up to."
Rose smiled, uncharacteristically shy. "I'm sure you'll do just fine – oh my GOD!"
The Doctor reckoned that her exclamation, along with the several subsequent exclamations that may or may not have contained expletives, meant that she rather enjoyed his new favourite activity. He also reckoned that his dear, sweet, completely not-innocent Rose, had previously been thinking lustful thoughts about this particular activity, if the comments she was making about finally putting his tongue to good use were anything to go by.
Who knew that licking that wall in Torchwood House and eating one's jam with one's fingers would prompt her to entertain such naughty, brilliant ponderings?
(He truly couldn't help but grin smugly at his success.)
Later, there was a moment of confession before a moment of blissful unity.
"Have you thought about this?" she whispered, her heart beating erratically in her chest.
He stared into her eyes as he gently lifted her leg around his hip. "Everyday."
He smiled, and entered her slowly, memorising the expression on her face. This moment would stay with him, always.
Neither of them were sure how much time had gone by before he reluctantly rolled off her. He didn't go too far away; they both turned on their sides and looked at one another as they shared a pillow.
"That was..." he breathed. There were no sufficient words.
"Yep," she smiled back lazily.
"Rose," he said softly, stroking his knuckles across her cheek.
She lifted her leg a bit, entwining it with his, and reached behind him for the duvet, placing it across both of them once they'd cooled down.
"I was always such a lonely man," he murmured. "Even before Gallifrey was lost. Even though I had plenty of people, fantastic friends, in and out of those TARDIS doors. I was always so lonely. And I never knew why."
She wrapped her arm around his waist and squeezed him gently.
"But then I found you," he whispered.
Her breath caught in her throat.
"I hadn't realised I'd been waiting to fill a Rose Tyler-shaped missing piece in my life. In my hearts." He caught a tear leaking from the corner of her eye with the pad of his thumb. "Bugger. Sorry. I didn't mean to make you cry - "
"- hey, don't you worry," she told him, snuggling closer. She swallowed against the lump in her throat. "I'm just being silly. You know, I made you all romantic in my fantasies," she admitted, more tears making tracks down the sides of her face to her hairline. "But I never imagined you'd be quite like this in reality."
"Well, I aim to please," he joked, giving her his most charming grin.
"You are successful in those aims," she teased back, tickling him by running her fingertip down his side.
He tilted his head to press a tender kiss to her lips. When he pulled back, he murmured, "You mean everything to me. I don't want to ever lose you."
"I need you to know something," she whispered firmly. "I need you to know it with everything you are, and everything you'll be."
He nodded; a promise.
She cupped his cheeks with her hands. "I love you," she confessed, her throat tightening. "I love you, and I'll always, always love you. And...and when I'm not here anymore, you need to keep happy, okay? 'Cos I look at you sometimes and you've got this wonderful smile on your face and I don't want you to ever not smile like that, alright?"
He stared at her wordlessly in response, his eyes glistening. Then, "Thought you were going to live to a hundred and sixty-four, anyway," he pointed out light-heartedly, wanting to ease the sad atmosphere. She burst into giggles and he smiled, drawing her closer. "Oh, why did I have to fall in love with a silly human, eh?" he teased gently, kissing her forehead. "Oi, don't look so surprised," he protested, as an awed expression came upon her face at his words. "You've not been feeling all that on your own, you know."
"I know," she mumbled, blushing a delightful shade of pink. "I think I knew that already, really, it's just...I never expected you to say it."
"Well, it appears I am defying lots of expectations tonight, so I thought I'd go the whole hog," he grinned, then kissed her again as she giggled against him in her happiness.