Dash General Warnings (Important, please read): This is Yaoi. If you are still here I will also add that this fic will probably contain swearing and sex and all sorts of other goodies. Still here? Well this fic might also contain no predetermined roles in respect to sexual activities. Yep, I have to add this as a warning now. But what that means is that in my stories no one is ever solely uke or seme or batman or whatever predefined roles people might expect. Or they might be but I might not know who it will be from the beginning. Sometimes one person will top, sometimes the other will depending on my mood or where the story needs to go. Sometimes it will switch mid story if I feel like it. Please do not continue if you have preferences for either character and will be upset if whoever you expect to top doesn't. Generally not even I know who will do what at the very beginning of a fic and will decide as I go along. They may not swap at all, but I like to keep my options open and I do not want to make people read multiple chapters of my fic only to dislike the sex scenes.
Notes: Hiya everyone! Welcome new readers and repeat readers - you know who you are ;) – to another Dash ficcy.
Thank you Cimone for reading my beta preview on The Dashdom and telling me to go for it. I appreciated the feedback and I hope you won't be alone in liking it.
This fic is about Sasuke losing his memory while fighting Naruto and being put into Naruto's care in Konoha while he recovers and tries to regain his memory. But is regaining his memory the best thing for Sasuke or would be better living out the rest of his life unaware of his past unhappiness. It's rated MA cause I like swearing and nudity, generally at the same time for preference. Please don't read if you don't like yaoi, or are underaged blah blah blah.
Naruto and the characters from the manga are not mine, I just misuse them occasionally for my own amusement and the amusement of others.
So please read, and hopefully enjoy!
Plus thanks also to PJ my beta for taking on another one of my fics, you rock.
You Broke It You Bought It.
"I think you broke his brain."
Looking into the blinking dark eyes of Sasuke, Naruto had to agree. But…
"I didn't do anything unusual Kakashi-sensei, you saw it!"
The moment had finally arrived, Sasuke had come to Konoha partly for revenge and partly to capture the Kyuubi. And just like Naruto had promised, he'd been there to stop him, perhaps even permanently.
They had been trading blows almost like old times except this time, Naruto was in sage mode and he wondered briefly in retrospect whether that had anything to do with what had happened.
Rasengun versus Chidori, and in sage mode Naruto's Rasengun had overwhelmed Sasuke and while it still hadn't managed to impact his opponent, all Naruto could remember seeing was the Chidori turning with the force and hitting Sasuke instead. It should have been ridiculous really, Sasuke's own attack being the thing to knock him down, but the Rasengun infused with the natural energy from sage mode had forced the attack back against the user, up Sasuke's arm and apparently frying his brain.
He'd dropped where he stood before the collision and Naruto was left standing over his friend, not quite sure what had happened when Kakashi had shown up. They made sure he was still breathing and then waited for Sasuke to regain consciousness
When he did, he looked up at both of them without recognition, blinked a few times and then asked, "Who are you?"
Now Naruto wouldn't be the first to admit it about his friend, but he wasn't totally oblivious to the fact that Sasuke didn't think much of their friendship. But this? How the hell could Sasuke not know who he was?"
"I think you broke his brain," Kakashi murmured, easing up from his fighting stance.
Looking into the blinking dark eyes of Sasuke, Naruto had to agree. But…
"I didn't do anything unusual Kakashi-sensei, you saw it!"
"Just what did you do, repel his own lightning right into his head or something?"
That was a distinct possibility. Naruto hadn't meant to, he had just reacted. But he didn't know this could happen as a result of what he'd done.
He'd come here to defend the village against the friend he'd always been trying to save. He'd come here with the knowledge that one or both of them would die, but this outcome was just so unreal.
Sasuke sat up gingerly and rubbed the side of his head.
Naruto was about to tell him but Kakashi held up a hand to silence him.
"You don't remember?" Kakashi asked Sasuke.
"No. Who am I? Who are you for that matter?"
It was weird, it was Sasuke's voice, in exactly the same kind of tone he used when annoyed but that was it. There was no hate filled glare, no contemptuous half smile. It was just Sasuke, annoyed sure, but mostly confused and apparently a little woozy.
"I am your Sensei. You've hit your head during training, how do you feel?" Kakashi asked him.
It took a little while for Naruto's brain to catch up with Kakashi's line of questioning, but he eventually got there. Kakashi obviously thought Sasuke couldn't remember what had been happening or even who he was. He was talking to Sasuke like he would have more than three years ago when they'd all been in team seven together.
This didn't really sit well with Naruto. He might have in the past tried to do almost anything to get Sasuke to come back to the village but he didn't like lying to him. Of course lying to him also meant that Kakashi was saving his life too, which was the only reason Naruto said exactly what he said now.
"It was me actually. Sorry about that, I can get a little carried away."
Kakashi nodded his approval to Naruto and turned to look at Sasuke once more.
"And you are?" Sasuke asked, those dark eyes looking up at him and narrowing slightly.
"He can't be faking it, and I can't imagine why he would anyway." Tsunade announced coming into the observation room after examining Sasuke in his hospital room.
They could see Sasuke sitting up in bed, looking around the room curiously on the other side of the one sided mirror. All of the old team seven were present waiting to hear the news from Tsunade.
"It's not really his style," Kakashi agreed. "He's too prideful to attempt this kind of subterfuge."
"So he really doesn't know who he is?" Sakura asked in a soft tone from beside Naruto. The pair of them had been standing against the opposite wall to the viewing screen, watching Sasuke very intently.
"No," Tsunade assured them. "Though I couldn't say whether the memory loss is permanent or not."
"So what happens now?" Naruto asked.
"Well, he is still classed as a rogue ninja and that means imprisonment at the very least. But I suppose I could argue that the Sasuke sitting in that room isn't exactly the same one that committed all those crimes. He wouldn't remember doing any of it so I can't personally see how we can justify locking him up for it. For now I am happy to leave him in the hospital room for observation while I explore our options."
"Does he know what he's done?" Naruto asked her.
"No. I've told him his first name and nothing else other than what you and Kakashi already told him."
"So we're going to lie to him?"
Tsunade obviously didn't like the implication she was doing anything bad here.
"To a large degree, yes. It is for his own good Naruto. If Sasuke learns the truth or if telling him anything more about his past somehow triggers his memory, I will have no argument against punishing him. It could mean his life."
It was just as Naruto had previously thought. Lying to Sasuke would possibly save his life and that would make Naruto go along with what was happening. But he didn't like lying to him all the same.
"Can we see him?" Sakura asked.
"I don't see why not. Just remember what I said, watch what you say."
Sasuke looked around at them as the pair entered. He was openly curious about Sakura as she came to sit down by his bed. When he saw Naruto, a somewhat familiar face amongst so many strangers, the lightest smile seemed to touch his face. The foreign expression on Sasuke threw them both a little for a moment.
Naruto could tell that Sakura was nervous, but he didn't know exactly why just yet. He assumed it was either finally being face-to-face again with the man she loved or because most recently this man had tried his best to kill her rather than smile at her.
"Um, hi Sasuke. You don't remember me but my name is Haruno Sakura, one of your teammates. How are you feeling?"
"Confused." Sasuke replied.
He was answering Sakura's question, but he was mostly watching Naruto who was trying his best to seem okay with all of this, but was failing rather miserably. He stood behind Sakura, arms crossed.
"I'll bet," Sakura responded with forced levity. "That must have been some bump on the head Naruto gave you."
The conversation seemed to stall a little after that. In her nervousness Sakura seemed to have run out of things to say and Sasuke was still watching Naruto with that unreadable look and that slight little half smile.
Eventually the silence was broken by Sasuke. "You seem familiar to me," he told Naruto.
"I was there when you woke up," Naruto pointed out to him obviously.
"No, not from that…" Sasuke seemed to be trying very hard to remember but after a while he shook his head a little and looked away. "I can't remember."
Well that was a relief. Out of anyone in the village to remember, Naruto was probably the main memory that might bring other worse memories back. He found himself relieved when Sasuke couldn't come up with anything.
"We train together a lot," Naruto told him, "That's probably what you're thinking of. I was the one that bumped you on the head, remember?"
Naruto realized how stupid that question was as soon as he'd said it and it caused him to grin uncertainly.
"Well, um, sorry about that by the way. I didn't mean to hit you so hard."
"We're friends, aren't we?"
Naruto was surprised by how much the question affected him. He actually felt a little speechless after hearing Sasuke wanting to confirm such a thing. Sasuke had never before just come out and stated they were friends even though Naruto had thought they were. It made him think that this lying thing wasn't such a bad idea after all.
His voice was perhaps a shade too quiet when he answered, "Of course we are, Sasuke. I'm glad you remember that much at least."
A few days passed and Sasuke remained in the hospital. Some people came to see him, but most stayed away. They couldn't distance themselves from the traitor Sasuke and the Sasuke who didn't remember a thing, to such a degree that they hated him no matter what. Sakura visited every day, but Naruto stayed away. He wasn't one of the ones that hated Sasuke, he'd never hated his friend. But it plainly hurt to be able to see his friend and talk to his friend without him actually being the same person Naruto had always considered a friend. It was Sasuke in that hospital room, but at the same time it wasn't him. Even a hate filled half insane Sasuke was better than this shadow of his former friend sitting in that room. To Naruto it was almost as though he'd lost his friend anyway and that the Sasuke he knew had died in that fight after all. It made him feel like a failure.
After four days of not going to the hospital he opened his door one morning to see Sakura standing there looking a little angry.
"Hi, Sakura-chan," he greeted her nervously, unsure what he'd done this time to invoke her wrath.
"Why haven't you come to the hospital lately?" she demanded.
Naruto shrugged. "I dunno. I've had training and been busy."
"That's bull Naruto! Tell me why you won't see Sasuke!"
He could have lied to her but he didn't really see the point in it. At least if he told her the truth she might sympathize a little and leave him alone about it.
"It's not Sasuke anymore. Our friend isn't there. It's just some guy who looks like him."
Sakura frowned at the explanation, but at least she didn't seem angry anymore. "You think because he doesn't remember you that he isn't your friend anymore?"
"Not the friend I promised you I'd save."
Sakura took a moment to think about what Naruto had told her before speaking again. When she did her voice was full of that sympathy Naruto had been looking for, but also had an edge to it he hadn't been expecting.
"I know what you mean and sometimes I feel like crying when I go to see him because he's not the same person anymore. But it's not all bad Naruto, you just have to think about it in another way."
"Well, sure he doesn't remember us, but he also doesn't remember all the bad things that have happened to him either. He isn't angry all the time, he doesn't hate the world because he has forgotten all the things that used to drive him mad. And it's not like he's a totally different person either. He still talks like Sasuke did and still makes the same gestures and the same kinds of comments but, well, it's like what I imagine what he would have been like if nothing bad had happened to him to make him the way he was. So you shouldn't look at it like you've lost your friend, it's a chance to make friends with him all over again, properly this time. And you shouldn't waste time for that because we don't know if and when he'll get his old memories back and he wants to fight you again. He's still Sasuke and he needs a little reminding about who his friends are. Just promise me you'll come to see him today?"
What Sakura had said had given him a lot to consider. "I'll think about it."
Sasuke was sitting on the edge of his bed half dressed when Naruto walked in the see him. Sasuke had been looking down at the skin on his torso but he looked up when Naruto walked in.
Seeing him this way, sitting on the bed in nothing but the plain hospital pants and no shirt reminded Naruto how long it had been since Sasuke had been in the village. Almost four years had passed but both boys were over seventeen now and Naruto couldn't get how much Sasuke had changed over those few years. He hadn't failed to notice Sasuke's features had sharpened with age. Nobody would have called Sasuke's features soft when he was younger, but like all children he'd had a roundedness to his face that maturity and experience had whittled away till there was nothing but edges. Not that he looked bad, actually Naruto realized that every girl in the village would just think he was even better looking now.
"What are you doing?" Naruto asked him.
Sasuke looked back down, one of his slender fingers tracing a scar on his side.
"Where did I get this?" Sasuke asked.
Unfortunately Naruto didn't know. Sasuke had been, as far as Naruto had known, fairly scar free when he'd left the village. What had happened to Sasuke since then was a big unknown for him mostly.
"Not sure. You've taken a bit of beating over the years." Well that was a safe enough bet.
"What about this one?" he asked gesturing toward a thin scar on his collarbone.
"I think you might have gotten that one in the land of waves. You took a lot of kunai hits from an enemy ninja we were fighting."
Sasuke looked up at him and frowned. "I'm a ninja, Sakura told me. But so many scars makes me think I'm bad at it."
Naruto almost laughed for a moment thinking Sasuke was making a joke. But he stopped himself when he saw the serious expression on his face.
"You're a really good ninja Sasuke. You used to make me so jealous when we were younger 'cause I wanted to keep up with you. You took those kunai hits because you were tryna save me, not because you're crap."
"I saved you?"
"Yeah, you sure did. You got hurt real bad because of me so that scar is my fault I guess."
Sasuke ran his finger along the scar again as if just to feel it. "My skin has all these memories but I can't remember a single thing," he said bitterly.
Naruto was used to seeing Sasuke angry or annoyed, he was unprepared for a sullen Sasuke.
"Don't be so down," Naruto told him coming to sit on the bed by his side before he realized what he was doing. "We'll help you out."
Sasuke turned his head to look at Naruto and that was when he realized how close they were sitting to one another. Their legs, dangling off the side of the bed were only inches apart from touching and Naruto couldn't help but feel Sasuke was about to tell him to get lost or get up and move away from him. But the expected response never came. New Sasuke apparently didn't have the same trust and personal space issues. Sakura had been right, it almost made you feel like crying but at the same time was a relief that he was acting a little more like a normal person would to such a situation. Naruto would never have sat so close to Sasuke normally, but this Sasuke just seemed so dejected and miserable that he'd instinctively wanted to comfort him in some way.
"We must be pretty close friends if I risked my life for you," Sasuke said after a moment.
There was that word again, 'friend'. Sasuke reaffirming their friendship was so bizarre.
"I think so," Naruto replied honestly emphasizing the 'I'. "But you were probably just tryna show off as usual."
Sasuke grinned like Naruto had just made some kind of joke and Naruto almost fell off the bed in shock. He'd never seen Sasuke grin like that, not ever. Maybe what had happened to Sasuke really was for the best. Sakura was right about another thing too, there might not be a lot of time to interact this way with Sasuke before he got his memories back and it was worth it just to see him be the more well rounded person he might have become if circumstances hadn't driven most of the joy out of his life.
"Do you know when they will let me out of here?"
"I'm not sure. Why?"
"It's boring here and I don't think I'm sick. I just want to go home. I think. If home is somewhere I like being of course."
Well that was going to be difficult. Home for Sasuke was no longer there anymore.
"Home is probably going to be at Kakashi's," Naruto told him after a moment's thought. "You haven't lived in your own place in a really long time."
It wasn't lying; it just wasn't the whole truth.
Sasuke frowned. "Oh," he replied a little crestfallen by the news. "I had hoped I had my own place. Living with your teacher doesn't sound exciting."
"Uh, well maybe they'll let you come stay with me for a while then."
Naruto didn't know why he'd offered, it had just slipped out before he'd had time to think about it. It was just that now he had the chance to recreate the lost bond between them he wanted to devote as much time to it as possible.
"Really? That at least sounds a little more interesting than living with an older teacher."
"Sure, I only have the one bed but the couch is pretty comfy."
"Now all I have to do is find out when I can leave here."
"Let me see if I can find out."
"No, it's out of the question."
"Granny, what are you gonna do with him then? It's been almost a week and his memory is still gone. I think he's gonna get suspicious if you keep him at the hospital while he isn't actually sick."
Obviously Naruto had scored a point there because Tsunade looked briefly toward Kakashi with a questioning look. Fortunately, Kakashi had no argument to offer her.
"If his memory doesn't come back we'll have to do something with him." Kakashi put in. "But we also need to keep an eye on him."
"Okay, fine." She relented. "But I would feel better about it if he stayed with you Kakashi."
"I agree to a point," Kakashi returned. "Obviously he can never return to his home, it just isn't there anymore, you remember we never bothered rebuilding the Uchiha compound after Pain. But if we continue with this ruse, he's going to expect sooner or later to know where he lives. He'll expect belongings, reminders of his past life and we don't have anything like that. Staying a few days with Naruto is a good idea. We can tell him that he lives with me. I have the room and I am his teacher so it makes sense, but all it is at the moment is a spare room, not a place he could be convinced he lives in. At least not yet."
"All right!" Tsunade exclaimed giving up, "Uchiha Sasuke will stay with you Naruto. But if he shows the slightest sign that he's getting his memories back, you must inform us or take precautions against him becoming violent to the village. Both, preferably. Do you understand what I am ordering you to do?"
Naruto didn't like the implication of that. She made it sound as though if Sasuke got his memory back, Naruto should do away with him.
Naruto swallowed. "Uh, sure."
"Staying with you is temporary of course. He wants to visit with you for the moment, that's good. But when Kakashi is ready for him, he will be placed under his supervision, is that understood?"
"Yeah, Granny, I got it."
Notes: Well I hope it's an encouraging beginning even if so far it might seem all a little clichéd hopefully it won't stay that way. Anyway, new fic, opinions are needed. I actually live on them. I do, honest!