Okay. Here goes... I'm probably not going to go on with this. Mainly because the real MoA comes out in about four days, and partly because I'm not entirely sure where I'm going with this from here. If anyone wants to adopt, feel free to drop me a PM! Me abandoning this has nothing to do with the review I got from a guest reviewer. For those of you who haven't read it, here it is:
hi i know you are trying to write a preview and i have read every single one of rick riordan's books and i have read your whole preview and i am sorry but it sucks i think you should give up writing and never try it again no hard fellings just doing business
Ladies and gentlemen, fellow readers and reviewers, I give you... the person who thinks they are actually entitled to tell someone to stop writing! No offence or anything, but I am not stopping because someone tells me to. I am also not taking writing advice from someone who who uses no capital letters, no proper grammer and who can't even spell the word "feelings". Dude, that's a double E, not a double S. And "doing business" is not telling someone to give up and never write again. Doing business is telling someone where they've gone wrong and what they could do to improve. If you don't have anything good to say, keep your mouth shut (or your fingers off the keyboard).
On a lighter note, thank you to: Lunagirl222, TinyRules, squirrelLOVA, annabeth777, Leaseablue, cupcakeluvr16, coolgirl69, Anonymous, Anonymous, Anonymous, daugther of zeus, hghkkvgvkn, Mari3010, Artemis's Moonbeam, Guest, Guest, Guest, Guest, , hiiiiiiiiiiiiiii, Guest, Guest, twinarchers717, Guest, Anna, Issac, Musical Dream, Monster-slayer-2, nobody, Guest, PercyForever15, and everyone else who has read. That is a LOT of Guests.
And now to answer questions.
Anonymous: Alright, I'll admit that some people would say that hell is a swearword, but I was pretty sure that Rick's written it into the book somewhere. I only included it because I figured that if people had read the book and hadn't been bothered... Well, I apologise if I've offended you or anyone else.
daughter of zeus: Thanks! I am actually an aspiring writer, and it's reviews like that that encourage me to keep writing.
Guest: To be honest, I have no idea where I get my ideas from! I find that bouncing ideas off people works, even if the people have never read the books. Like, there's this guy, he's lost his memory and been missing for months, but he's got his memory back now, what will his reaction be when he sees his girlfriend? A friend who's read the books helps, too.
Monster-slayer-2: I love this review! Seriously, I read it, like, 10 times. I have no life, do I? But honestly, I really, really love this review.
Well, I'm gonna post what I've got already (not even 500 words), but as I said, MoA's coming out soon for real, and I've run out of inspiration. So, Here you go!
Leo could tell that something was wrong as soon as he woke. It took a little longer to work out what it was. He lay in silence, absently summoning flames at his fingertips and flicking sparks at the ceiling while trying to work out what was missing. It was almost ten minutes before he realised. Festus.
Every morning, he had been woken by the sound of the dragon's golden head snapping at pigeons and seagulls and depositing what ever he managed to catch on the deck. On one memorable occasion, there had been a weather balloon. No-one was ever quite sure how that had happened.
But the point was, this morning there was nothing. Leo wriggled forwards, rolling off his bunk. His cabin was right up at the prow- or front- of the Argo II, near Festus. The dragon always did what Leo wanted him to, even if it meant calling off his early-morning pigeon hunting.
'Festus?' he called softly. 'Festus! Here, boy!' Nothing. 'Festus? Where are you, boy? Come on, come to Leo!'
When there was still no reaction, Leo yanked his Camp Half-Blood t-shirt over his head and hurried out of his room. He stuck his head out of the hatch up on deck, a crisp breeze ruffling his curly black hair. A perfect day for weather balloon hunting. Instead, a worrying sight greeted his eyes.
A huge flock of crows- they were black, anyway, and Leo had never claimed to be an expert on any type of bird- and magpies were circling the prow of the Argo II. And Festus wasn't trying to eat them. Leo hurled a ball of fire into the mass of birds and, ignoring the smell of burnt feathers, ran forwards. He quickly realised why the birds had been there. The side of the golden dragon's head had been completely caved in.
Leo felt a shudder run through his whole body. He was engulfed in flames before he realised what he was doing. The heat was so intense that the grass shrivelled and turned black beside the ship.
'Festus,' he whispered. Then, louder. 'Festus!' Leo leaped down off the deck and started to move towards Festus, then stopped. He took a deep breath and turned down the fire a little, just enough to avoid setting the whole camp on fire. That would probably be classed as a violent act, which they had been told very firmly to avoid.
Leo started walking, slowly, slowly, towards the dragon, one word echoing through his head. Festus… Festus… Festus… oh my dad, Festus… He ran the last few feet, the flames that engulfed his body dying down as he dropped to his knees besides Festus, cradling what was left of the dragon's head in his arms. The metal dragon stirred slightly, looking at Leo, and slowly closed one ruby eye in a cruel mockery of a wink. After a second, the other eye followed it, and neither eye opened again.
Yes, cheerful, I know. I was actually planning to have Festus come back, but I figured it would be a good reason to stay at Camp Jupiter for a bit longer, rebuilding the control disc.
Again, if anyone wants to adopt this story, feel free to send me a PM, but what with MoA coming out, I would have probably ended up using it's plot instead of my own.
I'm so, so sorry.