Hey!hope you're still reading this stuff. School's out in here! I love it!
Disclaimer: stephenie meyer owns it all.
It's been a week since he left; A week of wallowing for me. I still feel sad and broken, more devastatingly, the person who can fix me is not here anymore. he left, and I didn't even make an effort to make him stay. I'm such an idiot.
"Bella!" alice screamed through the hallway. I wonder what makes her energetic and happy. I want a dose of that.
"What Alice?" I asked, never lifting my eyes from a book I've been reading. This is what I do to cope.
"I've talked to Edward." Edward. Him. The love of my life talked to Alice. She now got my attention. I looked at her pleading. I wanted to know what he was up to. Is he enjoying school there? Does he have a lot of friends by now? And most importantly, is he happy without me?
"What did he say?" I said carefully, afraid that I might break down again.
"He said that school's great, he now has a couple of friends." She told me. She's looking at me intently, I guess, waiting for the waterworks.
"good for him." I whispered.
"that's not all," Alice continued, "he said that even though life is great there, he's lonely. He misses you."
And that did me.
I felt a single tear roll down my cheeks. More pain and sadness are taking over my body. But at the same time, I felt a twinge of happiness. He misses me.
"are you alright?" Alice asked warily.
"yeah, It's just…",I looked for words to describe my feelings, but I found none. "I miss him too"
"oh, Bella." Alice hugged me and tried to comfort me, but no one, or nothing can do.
"Bella!" a familiar but unwelcome voice rang through the buildings hallway. I walked faster. I don't want to see him right now, or ever. He's the one who ruined it for me, for us. He's the reason why my perfect relationship turned into a tragedy. He's Jacob Black.
The first month of University was fun, but I miss my Edward. I miss his touch, his smile, and his kisses. I miss being with him.
Jacob Black was one of my first friends here in UCLA. We hang-out and study together. He is a very good friend. He never leaves me alone. He's funny; Just plain awesome.
Edward is visiting me for the weekend. We made an agreement that we are going to visit each other every month or so. We value each other so much; we don't want to fall apart. So, here I am at the airport, waiting for the love of my life to arrive.
Suddenly, hands out of nowhere covered my eyes. "Guess who." I heard his velvet voice. He's here now. I smiled.
"Edward." He laughed lightly. I turned around and hugged him. I've missed him so much.
"I miss you, too." He said.
Hours before Edward needs to leave, we were sitting in a bench at the park. We watched as children come running from every direction, hoping that one day we'll have our own. Whispering our love for each other, saying we'll miss each other. So far, everything was perfect – until Jacob arrived. I thought he was there to say goodbye, but I was wrong. When I introduced them to each other, I knew something was going on but I was too stupid to see it. I excused myself to buy a drink, because Edward wants one and I volunteered to get it. I was shocked that when I came back, they were beating the crap out of each other. I ran to where they are and tried to break them apart.
"stop, what are you doing?" I screamed. "stop! Edward. Stop it now."
"stay away from her!" I heard Edward shout at Jacob. I pulled him away and dragged him back to my apartment.
"what's wrong with you?" I asked Edward.
"stay away from him. He wants to break us apart. He wants you!" he told me. I can see the anger in his eyes.
"what are you saying? He's my friend, he'll never do that!" I spat back at him.
"don't you see the way he looks at you?" he asked me." I want you to stay away from him." He said, running his fingers through his hair.
"no." I whispered.
"you can't tell me who I should be friends or hang out with! You don't own me. He's my friend!" I screamed at him. I'm not backing down this time. He always control my life, now it's my time to stand by my decision.
"you're choosing him over me?" his voice is hoarse and low.
"you're choosing him over me!" he said.
"It's not that Edward!"
"than what is it? Tell me bella!"
"I," I wracked my brain for words but I found none. Just when I was about to answer, I heard the words that started our end.
"maybe we should take time to cool off," he started.
"what are you saying?"
"we both need space." He can't look me in the eyes.
"are you breaking up with me?" I whispered. Tears are stinging my eyes.
"no, we just need to think if this is still what we want." He explained. I was speechless. I never expected his visit to turn out this way. I don't know how long I stood there thinking when I heard his footsteps approaching the door. I finally looked at him, right to his eyes and saw nothing. They were not like before, the spark was gone. We didn't say anything, just stared at each other. I know he had to go, it's time. He pick up his bags and turned the knob. Before he got out the door, he turned to look at me one last time. I saw a tear run down his cheek and before I could react he was gone. No kiss, no goodbye. I knew it was our breaking point. I just cried myself to sleep, hoping to fix this somehow.
"Jacob, just leave me alone!" he's persistent, following me like a puppy.
"Bella, he's gone. He left you again" he said as he walked alongside me. "try and move on!"
"I'll never be able to move on Jacob! He's everything to me and I doubt I'll ever see anyone else like that." I explained, hoping it was the last time.
" but weren't you the one who pushed him away when he wanted you back? Weren't you the one who don't want anything to do with him?" and with what he said, I stopped on my track. He's right. I was the one who pushed him away. It was my fault.
"I know, and it's the biggest mistake I've ever done."
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