Disclaimer: I don't own Glee.
A/N: Yay, for recyling OC's from one of my other Kurtofsky fics like the lazy bum that I am. :)
True Love Will Find You in the End
Kurt was lazing on his bed that Saturday afternoon, working the homework that his AP English teacher assigned to them during their winter break. With Christmas coming up next week, he was hoping to finish it early so he wouldn't have to worry about it when it came to celebrating the holiday (for him, in the non-traditional sense) with his family. This idea was cut short, however, as the soft music that was just playing through the speaker of his iPhone was interrupted by the melodic chimes of an incoming call.
He laid his pencil down neatly on top of the notebook he was writing in and picked up his phone. After he turned it around in the palm of his hand he smiled, biting his lip at the swell of fluttering butterflies in the pit of his stomach at the sight of the name on his screen. Swiping the screen with a finger, he rolled over onto his back before answering his gentlemen caller in a fallaciously stern voice.
"Shouldn't you be participating in the festivities of pre-adolescent girlhood right about now?" He bit his lip coyly, not that anyone was there to see it.
"Why hello to you, too." Kurt could barely distinguish the sound of Dave's less-than-pleased tone on the other end. It literally sounded like Mr. and Mrs. Karofsky hired a circus troupe, petting zoo, and live music to the birthday party of one Miss Amy Karofsky.
"Aw, come on, Mister Grumpy-Gills. It can't be that bad," Kurt said, attempting to mollify David. Kurt wasn't about to admit it, but he couldn't say he was jealous of David, judging by the ruckus in the background.
"You really wouldn't be saying that if you were here right now. You know... When I turned thirteen, I think they booked the ice skating rink so me and my friends could play hockey. They go all out because it's the kid's first year as a teenager. What happened to 'middle-child syndrome'?" Dave huffed out in what sounded like a single breath.
"Ohh, gosh. You know... It does sound a bit frightening on your end," Kurt surmised innocently as he scooted farther up, propping himself up against his pillow and crossed one leg over the other. He was trying his hardest not to find amusement in the drama queen personality that seemed to burst out of David like an agitated peacock.
"In case you were wondering or seriously thinking about calling the police… Those high pitched squeals you're hearing right about now are not pigs being led to slaughter, but almost all the girls in Amy's eighth grade class."
"What is this?" Kurt gasped, feigning shock. "No boy's allowed? I've never heard of such blatant misandry!"
"I'm not sure what that is, but no… No, there's some boys," Dave stuttered nervously. "But, um… Apparently Amy's girlfriends have an eclectic taste in…" A pause. "Older men?"
It took Kurt a moment to realize that it wasn't the male head of the Karofsky household who Dave was referring to.
"Oh… Oh, David, I—" Kurt chortled, covering up the receiver so that Dave couldn't hear him as he rolled over onto his side in laughter.
"This isn't funny, Kurt. They're clingy and whiny and it doesn't help that my mom practically turned me into a maître d' -"
"Or the fact that you have killer biceps," Kurt contemplated aloud as he sat up again.
"Hmm… Nothing!" Kurt said quickly. Kurt sighed, wiping a teardrop from the corner of his eye. "So, what would you like me to do?"
"I don't know… You got any methods for keeping pubescent girls at bay?"
Kurt tapped a finger to his chin.
"Other than sai swords that could possibly result in a lawsuit…? Mmm, no. Can't say I can think of anything."
"There's got to be…" Dave's voice vanished from the leaving Kurt to listen to nothing but the chaos that was ensuing on the other end.
"Hello?" Kurt asked frantically, pressing the phone closer to his ear in an attempt to hear Dave.
"I'm still here." The sound of Dave's voice assured him that the gaggle of twelve and thirteen year old girls had yet to succeed in their conquest to detain Dave. He sounded almost thoughtful, in Kurt's opinion.
"What is it?" Kurt asked as his curiosity started to get the best of him.
"Well, I was just thinking I could…" Dave trailed off in a soft voice, leaving Kurt unable to hear what his plan of action was.
"I'm sorry, David, I didn't catch that over the sound of the Kid's Bop playing in the background."
"I said, 'I could tell them I have a boyfriend,'" Dave said in a louder voice. Kurt was curious as to how many strange looks and raised eyebrows that were afforded to Dave. He heard Dave sigh softly and wondered if he already regretted what was said.
"B-boyfriend?" Kurt couldn't help but find his previous jovial charade hard to maintain upon hearing the word boyfriend. He attempted to continue it with an air of nonchalance.
"Yes, I… I suppose that could work but… Who is this boyfriend you're referring to?"
"Kurt…" Dave moaned.
"Dave…" Kurt couldn't help mimicking him.
"You're gonna make me say it, aren't you?"
"Well, of course," Kurt said a little too breathlessly. "This sort of thing has to be stated explicitly, right? Otherwise we turn into Abbot and Costello and we don't know what on Earth's going on and—"
"Kurt," Dave said calmly, interrupting Kurt's mad rush of an explanation. He could practically hear his heart thudding anxiously in his chest.
"Yes?" Kurt asked tentatively. He cradled the phone to his ear as he sat up in a cross-legged position, as though it would help him hear what Dave had to ask him.
"Will you... Be my boyfriend?"
Kurt blinked. He practically begged Dave to say it, but somehow he still wasn't quite prepared for the word. Not a month had gone by since his break up with Blaine. Hell, he and Dave had only been in each other's company for a couple of hours since Kurt ran into him at that seedy gay bar months ago. But somehow, despite all that… Everything felt right when he was with Dave.
Kurt liked the way Dave made him feel about himself, which was surprising to say the least considering how Dave was once in the long line of people who made him second guess himself and everything he stood for. But he, more than anyone, knew how quickly things were able to change. Finn went from being his crush to his lovable brother. Rachel was once his arch-enemy when it came to competing for solos, and now they were each other's song consultants and best friends. He wasn't about to get started on Blaine.
Even more than the way Dave liked and was attracted to Kurt despite all of his extra baggage—pun intended—Kurt liked liking Dave.
The least they could do was try.
"Of course I will, David. Good grief, you might as well be a thirteen year old boy," he teased as he pretended to not be completely elated as a result of his consent.
"Wait. Really? Hey, wait a minute!" Dave cried on the other line as though he was literally emasculated at being likened to a broody middle-school boy.
"I'm going to go now, David. You enjoy your sister's party. Hope she likes the cake!" Kurt chirped as he pulled the phone away from his ear.
"What? Kurt—" Kurt could hear the gargled sound of David's voice just before he hung up his phone.
Kurt took a deep breath, waiting for the confirmation that David was no longer on the other line and, when he did, he squealed dropping the device in the empty space on the bed next to him.
A couple miles away, despite the fact that he was hung up on, David Karofsky smiled like a loon at his phone. It might not have been his birthday, but he couldn't help feeling like he just received the best gift ever.
More fluff! And a two chapters in two days? What is this madness?
And if you are wondering who "Abbot and Costello" are, they are comedians who gave us the classic "Who's On First?" skit way back in the forties and fifties.
Much love for my lovely readers!