Hello All, so I've finally found the edge to make me write WOOP WOOP!

Disclaimer: This is based upon Makoto Shinkai's film of the same name, so no lawsuit there. Also, some of the dialogue is from the film, but of course I've edited, adapted and changed it to how I wanted it. I do not own the BBC Series 'Merlin' but if I did, Merlin and Arthur would be together in the most romantic way possible.

This took me awhile to write, what with LOTS of ideas running through me head but also feeling the need to bring a few of the film's quotes into it, so yeah...

I won't keep you waiting... I hope you enjoy it :)

I apologise for any spelling/grammar mistakes

...

It's been ten years since I lost him to the ways of life...

My life... it is empty without Merlin – that's all there is to it. No variables or other factors – just so wasteland of forbidden love... or maybe a love that was never meant to be. I've heard it said countless times that love is always around us, that love – love is like oxygen, love lifts us up into the air, that all you need is love... but what can those ones do that are without it?

I hurts, everyday of course, waking up thinking that I'd see Merlin's face, his warm smile, feel him bury his head into my neck a beg for the Earth to stand still just for five more minutes. It makes me smile, ever so sadly, to think of him. He never leaves my thoughts, nor never will. I always imagine him coming through the grey door of my small apartment and bringing the sunshine with him, I imagine sometimes that he'll just suddenly burst through into my life again and say that he hadn't moved again to god knows where, that he still loves me and will forever be mine. He'd then wave... and maybe call, but I don't let the fantasy go beyond that. I can't let it. I remind myself I was lucky to have any time with him at all.

It's all a waste, as I sit around my small flat of a living space. One bedroom that partners up to be a living room, one bathroom, one toilet room, a study and another room which I guess could be a living room to – it has a balcony which is nice at times... it looks over London, where I'm staying now for work of course, so that's the downside. The apartment's not the tidiest, but why should it be, I've got no one to impress.

I'm just living my life with sadness piling up around me. It's in my bed cold in the sun, it's in the looks I get from knowing workers, it in the given up glint in my eyes, it's in my tired face... it's in my broken heart. My movements are weak from crying, my life just one big mess of green and yellow melancholy. For the past few months, I've wanted to move on, to grasp something beyond my reach, what that is, I don't even know. All I've been able to do is go on working – working being a book editor – not knowing where these obsessive thoughts come from. Then one day I realised my heart was withering, and in it was nothing but pain. Then one morning I realised my beliefs, that I had held once so passionately had completely disappeared. That was it, I couldn't take anymore, so I quit my job. However I was reminded of the time I had with Merlin, the distant giggles of his laughter and the racing of my once alive heart. Times when I was just sitting in bed with my laptop... and a cherry blossom would float through the open window. It landed on my wrist... in the shape of a heart, I thought, as if the universe was telling me that sometimes good things end so better things can happen. But maybe none of us really understand what we've lived through, or feel we've had enough time.

...

I walked through the crowded streets of London in the dead of night, hardly any sleep touching my eyes. I got into the nearest newsagent and just strolled around. It was empty and quick except for the one beer-bellied bull of a man at the counter. I found some magazines of interest when I suddenly realised... realised that it was snowing. Snowing so graciously, and I looked to the dim inked coloured sky. The soft snowflakes were drifting through the chilling wind and I was transported back to a time of something more... of a dream I had. In the dream I was with Merlin, and we were happy.

A dream of long ago... it was when I had Arthur in my arms, we were wrapped in warmth.

In the dream we were still young and free.

We were standing in a field covered in snow.

Where in the dim light from distant houses,

All that could be seen were our footsteps and the gentle press of our lips. And because of that we both believed, without a doubt,

That someday, together, we would watch the cherry blossoms fall again.

So we decided on that night to visit our childhood, to visit the cherry trees. One last time.

...

I stood at the base of the cherry tree. I watched in the silence as wind blew past me. I watched as the petals fell; fell at... 5 centimetres per second... I held out my hand and one drifted into it. I couldn't help but think of Merlin then... and I felt the rush, of a thousand heart breaks... and it hurt... it hurt so much... The idea of not seeing Merlin again, not having him in my arms ever again, how I would never see his beautiful eyes that caught the light so perfectly, how I would never see his goofy grin that let loose butterflies in my stomach... I would never be able to tease him about his big ears... the idea that I wouldn't be able to say that I loved him to his face... The hole in my heart, where Merlin should be, clenched then. It took all my being, to close my eyes and grit my teeth... as the tears fell all too easily.

I turned my back then, the yearning in my heart, it hurt too much. Why was I here? All that was here was the sour memory that plagued my heart, all that was here was disappointment... They say a dead man is heavier than a broken heart... well am I dead now? My heart sure feels... heavy.

I put my hands in my coat pockets, although the sun was shining in all its brilliance, it radiated no heat, no comfort. I shivered slightly at the frosty, crisp morning that dawned upon me, as I saw the train crossing in the distance, with Merlin in mind.

...

As I approached the train crossing, I noticed how the cherry blossoms pink seemed to blur into the sky... even the sky itself seemed lifeless, it never seemed so empty, or so high. Would I ever find love? Would I ever find Arthur? My heart... with every step I took, my heart was slitting, bleeding love for all to see... except the one that needed to, except Arthur.

When I got to the crossing, there was another man... he seemed so sad, so broken. He seemed so lonely, walking slowly as if he was carrying... a heavy heart, like he lost someone. I saw his golden hair and I thought of Arthur... my Arthur. The one I loved, and always had... and I would never get the chance to tell him... all my feelings, all this time, and I never probably voiced my emotions, the regret that flooded my body hurt, what had I been afraid of?... Why didn't I tell him? Well, my chance was gone now, and my heart with it. I felt the tears burning my eyes now, but I didn't care... Arthur was worth my tears...

... But this man seemed so familiar, the way he walked... had I seen him before? I couldn't see his face much, but I caught a glimpse of his eyes, such deep azure eyes, and his sun-kissed hair... then my heart started with an extraordinary haste, the more I thought about it, the more it made sense... no... it couldn't be... it wouldn't... maybe... no... no... for a moment there... it doesn't matter... I thought it was, Arthur... but he wouldn't be here. My mind playing wicked tricks on me... my broken heart could only bare so much and now I was seeing the man that clouded my dreams... Arthur wouldn't be here... my heart felt so empty, so crushed, the wrenching of it paining me so deeply... and as much as I tried to shove the thoughts out of my head... I couldn't help but wonder... what if it was Arthur...

...

There was another man on the crossing; he looked so defeated, so hopeless. He walked with his head low, but I could see his messy raven hair... and he was crying... Why was he crying? I thought of Merlin again and I felt my eyes burn, as the hole in my heart, where Merlin should be, ached with an unbelievable pain, how it longed to be with Merlin again... Then it started to race... Wait a minute, the man's raven hair... and those big adorable ears... this man was the spitting image of Merlin, his lean body with its clumsy grace. And was... was that my coat I have given him? It looked a bit small on the man so it could make sense. I felt my heart quicken with every step... and I flinched at my mind's cruel humour, why would Merlin be here? But I made a wish then, that we would stop at the end... and turn back...

I reached the end of the crossing, my heart in my throat, and I turned round... but as soon as I did, a train zoomed past. I felt the wind rush through me; I felt my coat ripple in its currents. I felt my hair wave in the breeze... and I waited... despite the sound of the speeding train... it was silent to me; I could only hear my heart beat... now at a deathly pace... I waited... I held my breath... and I waited...

...

Then when the train passed... my heart was definitely in my throat... I couldn't believe it... there he was, my Merlin. His hood was down and I could see his eyes sparkling with tears, I couldn't believe it, the man I loved was right in front of me, the man that plagued my dreams and caused my heart to tear. He was so beautiful, and here he was... so why was I hesitating... why was I just standing there... in such disbelief... and the words left my mouth before I knew it...

"Merlin..."

...

When the train moved on... there he was, my prince, my Arthur. The man that I had yearned for so long, now only a heartbeat away... so why was I frozen? My heart, it stopped and... I couldn't breathe... Why wasn't I running? My voice couldn't find its way, but I managed to say, barely more than a hushed whisper...

"Arthur..." His very name caressing my lips...

Then when I was able to take that one small step, my disbelief vanished... and it came so easily. I ran, I ran across the tracks, my heart pounding, I ran into his arms as he smiled with such affection... I wrapped my arms around his neck, burying my face in his shoulder... just breathing in his scent... I had missed him so much. I felt his strong, secure arms wrap around my waist... and I was safe. My heart, it felt as if my chest could barely contain it, as if it didn't belong to me anymore, it belonged to Arthur... The warmth I felt when he tightened his hold... I let the tears fall, and I was home...

...

When Merlin jumped into my arms, I was stunned at first, my heart skipping a beat, but I instantly wrapped my arms around his waist. I felt tears scarring my face, and it was worth it. The hole in my heart, the piece of my very soul that Merlin had... with him with me now... I felt complete. I felt his breath hitch as he desperately held me tighter...

"I thought I lost you"

And at these words, my heart skipped a beat, the emotion rippling through my blood, as I held him with all my might, whispering back with tearful eyes and a broken voice...

"I thought about you every day, you could never lose me Merlin"

And to finally say those words, it felt so right. Nothing else mattered except for the man in my arms. The warmth that rippled and radiated without my entire being... it was indescribable. We tightened our hold on the other, not wanting to let go, scared the other may vanish in an instant. Then I felt as Merlin pulled me even closer, burying his head into my neck, and it melted my heart, feeling his breath caress my skin...

"Don't... don't leave me again" Merlin stuttered, choked by the tears of reunion and the clenching in his chest. I felt a rush of stinging frozen pain bleed through my veins at the missed years I felt, which brought even more tears as I replied back with such a desperate cry of a promise that came from the deepest part of my heart...

"I promise I won't leave Merlin. I'll stay forever... I'm sorry"

After all these years, after all this heartbreak... that seemed to just melt away, being replaced by this warmth that was so strong that... I don't think I could let Merlin go; I was surprised that I survived this long without him. I tightened my hold even more, embracing him in my bubble of love...

Despite the chilly winds and despite the diamond dust that floated around us... I had never felt so warm.

I don't know how long we stood there, just in each other's arms... no more words needed...

But when I pulled back ever so slightly... I cupped his cheek, my fingertips so happy to feel his soft tender skin again, and I saw the eyes where there was no return from; I always lose myself in his ocean of blue. They were glazed with tears... and he then said the words which we had kept from each other all these years...

"I love you Arthur. More than words can say. I always have" And my heart was melting with the love I felt ripple my body, finally voicing the way I had left all this time...

"I love you so much Merlin. My heart, it will always belong to you." And I meant it.

I was so tense from the affections that rose... then before I knew it... our lips were joined again, lightly caressing the others... and in that moment, I felt like my life had a purpose again, I felt like I was needed, like I was loved... and the emotion we poured into our kiss... it was a moment I'll never forget. The feeling that rushed through my veins, it was a lot like love, and it was breathtaking. I was so happy, it was unbelievable, the tears were burning my cheeks, and I fell. I felt his fingers thread through my hair and noticed the slight moan the familiar softness brought. I felt his hot tongue run against mine, his desperation for contact shining, and I responded with all the more passion. Finally with the man I loved so deeply...

And in that moment, I knew I would hold onto Merlin forever...

And I would never let Arthur go...

The End

So that's it *wipes forehead* I'd love to know what you think – whether it's a small thumbs up or a fire blast to my head with hate... I'm open to it all ^_^