So decided to try my hand and see if I can do a short little story usen only pictures from Emmy's Pervy Picspirations as my muse…

*crosses finger*

Must send a shout out to my completely awesome beta,

Sassyvampmama what would I ever do without you…

Disclaimer: All Mrs. Myers.. I just like to play with them..

"It's raining men? Hallelujah? It's raining men! Ameeeeeennnnnnnnn." I sang at the top of my lungs as I distractedly rinsed my strawberry scented conditioner from my hair.

"Yes ma'am, it is." his deep voice sang off key finishing that song's exciting chorus for me. I rolled my eyes as I worked up the suds for my body wash on my puff.

"I could swear I locked that door." I sighed resignedly and heard him laugh; the same one that caused the most amazing feeling of need cover my body.

"You really think a simple thing like that little lock would keep me out?"

"Was hoping," I said under my breath as I rinsed. "Who are you hiding from this morning; blond headed bimbo, fire engine red waif, or how about a black haired pixie?"

"Really Bells, I need you for more than just to hide me." He admonished me. Heck, he even had the gall to sound just a tad hurt about it too.

"Yeah, like when you're hungry, or need your laundry done, or how about when you can't figure out your classwork 'cuz you were too busy making out with the brown headed tramp that sat next to ya." I closed my eyes and submerged my head under the stream of water cutting out any and all excuses he would make up.

"… incompetent you know." was all I caught of his rant that I already knew so well.

"Yes, I know you are sweetie." I giggled when I felt him slap my hip, the cold shower curtain stopping any connection between our skins.

"You know I hate it when you don't listen to me." he huffed, I shook my head in amusement and smiled as I turned off the water and reached form my fluffy purple towel, slipping my arm between the curtain and shower wall.

"I still think we should change this to a glass door."

"Only problem there is that they are see through."

"The problem being…?" I shook my head as he laughed again. I wrapped the towel around myself and steeped out the shower into our way-to-small-for-two-people bathroom.

"I really don't think….. Oh My God!….Could you have at least put a pair of shorts on?" I screamed when I finely noticed him leaning up against the counter in nothing but a pair of gray Calvin Klein's. "I see enough of your skivvies when I'm washing them, thank you very much." I turned around and faced the shower so I wouldn't be caught staring in his body.

But oh, what a body it was. Over six foot seven two hundred and fifteen pounds of football sculpted perfection; that is what it was. He had a head of chocolate brown hair grown out just long enough to see the start of his curls and shimmering sky blue eyes that could look right into your soul. Or how about those dimple of his that I dream about licking every single night? Then you have the many pieces of art covering his arms and back, not to mention the sexy silver ring that hangs from his left nipple. Yeah, believe me, I so don't need to stare, I already have every inch of that body memorized.

"Hell Bells, you're lucky I even remembered the skivvies." he laughed out as he picked me up and carried me out of the bathroom.

"Really Em… really?" I dramatically sighed, pretending to be upset but secretly basking in the warmth of his skin against my still wet flesh.

"Just thought I would do my part in keeping the hall carpet dry." He nonchalantly tossed me on my bed and winked as I fumbled around trying my hardest to keep my towel wrapped around me. "By the way, it was a blonde bombshell that unfortunately could only talk about the political running's that are going on. Guess that's what I get for slumming around the law department." He said just as dramatically as he ran out of the door way right as my pillow flew from my hands after him.

"Sleaze! She better be gone before you this time Emmett. I'm not entertaining or breaking it to yet another one." I screamed as loudly as I could, hoping to God that the law-bimbo down the hall could hear me and would slither her way out of my home all that much faster.


"You are one lucky bitch you know that?" Angela mumbled around her mouthful of meatball sub. "I get stuck with looking at a pair of baggy boxers, ones that have seen much better days, mind you, hanging loosely around a body that looks like it hasn't seen the sun in forever. Oh, and don't even get me started on the muscles that DON'T exist."

"You know Ang, that's really is not the best way to talk about your husband." I laughed as I shook my head.

"Don't get me wrong," She said as she swallowed another bite and took a long drink of soda. "I love Ben to death, wouldn't have married the ass and moved into his geek-suite if I didn't, but God Bells, Emmett is so hot." She sighed longingly as she stared blindly off into space.

"Are you picturing him in his Calvins?" I asked and she nodded with a bright smile on her face.

"Don't take the fantasies of the married away, Missy." She pulled out her patented 'Evil Teacher' look and even did the finger point thing.

"You're gonna scare the fuck out of children all over the world with a look like that." I laughed as she rolled her eyes and joined in.

"Scaring 101… got an A." she joked as we finished our meal and started to walk back through campus. "So when are you going to bite the bullet and just fuck him already?" she asked me rather abruptly.

Now mind you, if I hadn't heard this very same question every single day for the last year, in fact, every day that I had been living with Emmett, I probably would have choked on my Mt. Dew. But, thanks to my best friends' need for being straight forward, and her single-minded pigheadedness, I had already known this question was going to come out sooner or later today.

"Well let's see," I stalled, stroking my chin with my free hand and did my best rendition of a standing Rodin's 'The Thinker'. "Other than the fact that he has slept with almost every single woman on campus, or that he is the most chauvinistic man in the world- there is also the little problem that HE DOSEN'T LIKE ME THAT WAY."

"One of these days you're gonna have to open your eyes and see the truth, my friend." She shook her head and gave me a one armed hug before running off to her own class.

"I see the truth every morning when I have to hide his ass from yet another bimbo." I screamed at her retreating back.

"Not every morning…" She shot back over her shoulder before disappearing through a door.


"I'm not really in the mood tonight, Jess." I said wearily into the phone. I was barely holding up said phone to my ear with my shoulder as my laptop bag slid down my arm causing my keys to fall to the ground and my pile of text books and lose papers to follow suit. "Mother fucker!" I hissed as I followed everything down to the ground and leaned my back against my still locked apartment door.

"Bella, what happened? Are you ok?" her already high-pitched voice rose in worry.

"I'm fine Jess," I sighed and threw my head back, "I'm just having one of those days where you wish you had never gotten out of bed."

"Yeah, I've had a few of those myself this week. So you're gonna come tonight, right?" I huffed and rolled my eyes. One thing about Jess is she can't, no-she won't, take no for an answer.

"ARGH! I guess I could use a couple drinks after the day I've had today." I heard her squeal and I quickly peeled the phone from my ear. "BUT… I'm only going to stay for two and then I'm coming back home, I do have that paper due in Human Anatomy."

"Why don't you get Emmett to help you with that? I'd be willing to bet that boy knows his way around the human body perfectly."

"And this is where I say 'Goodbye Jess, I will see you at the Kappa Pie house tonight at eight'." I hung up before she could say a word, dropping my phone onto the mat next to me and once again slamming my head back into the door with my eyes shut. "Fuck…Fuck…Fuck.."

"Messy, messy, Miss Bella." I shook my head and cursed a few more times under my breath before opening my eyes and glaring up at him. Emmett chuckled as he slipped his key into the lock and swung the door wide open in one clean movement. Of course, with my back still resting on the door I went tumbling into our apartment with a graceful thump as soon as he did though.

"I really hate your face right now." I hissed as I closed my eyes and laid there on the floor refusing to move even a single inch for a moment.

"How can anyone hate this face?" he chided back as he stepped over my sprawled body and laughed down at me once more.

"They would only have to take a few moments to get to know the person behind it." I smarted back as I pulled myself up and started to pick up my mess. I looked up in shock as Emmett bent down beside me and helped me with my books and laptop bag.

"And then they would only love me even more," he said as he elbowed me, causing me to once again end up on my ass, "just like you do." He stood up then, taking everything he could in his monster arms and placed it on the kitchen table. "So, what's for dinner?"

"Whatever you're cooking; it's your night tonight, remember?" I stood up and briskly wiped off my jeans and readjusted my top before slamming the front door behind me.

"But its Friday night." His quivering lip was sticking out so far I swear a little bird could have landed on it.

"I'm amazed; I guess your college education really is doing something for you." I rolled my eyes at him, thinking 'wow, I really do that a lot', and went to sort out my mess of papers.

"Come on Bells, Friday has always been your day." I felt his arms wrap around my waist and hug me close to his body. "And I was really looking forward to talking you into making your lasagna for me."

"It's gonna have to wait till next weekend, because you promised to take this Friday when I took your Sunday and Tuesday night." I looked up from my piles of papers and smirked. "So now the question is, 'what are you going to make us for dinner'?"

"Sounds like a great night for Subway." With his eyebrows a-wagging he picked up his keys and pressed a tender but meaningless kiss to my cheek. "One six inch Meatball on Italian comin' up, baby."

"Lazy ass." I yelled at his retreating ass, but oh boy, what an ass it was.


"I thought you were only going to have two." Jess laughed as I flopped down on the over-warn and probably disease-filled couch.

"Yeppers," I slurred and rested my head on her shoulder, "but that was before I found the kool-aid." I held up the red solo cup with what could have been my fifth or even my eighth drink.

"Bella babe, that ain't Kool-aid, its Jungle Juice." She snickered and slapped her hand onto my knee. I raised my eyebrows and looked confusingly into my almost empty glass. "It has so many different kinds of liqueurs in it you would have been better off with just a bottle of Jack."

"Hmm.. whatever, it tastes good." The room was lazily spinning around me while my body, and more importantly, my head was thumping along to the beat of the music, so I closed my eyes. "I think it may be time for me to go home."

"Yeah… nope. I think it's time to have a little fun." She pulled my limp body from the couch and worked us both into the middle of a group of sweaty dancing bodies.

After pretty much dirty dancing along to a couple songs with Jess I felt two hot hands fall on my hips.

"Hey Sexy." his voice was moist and hot in my ear causing my body to shiver.

"Hey." I tossed over my shoulder, looking into a pair of unfamiliar crystal blue eyes.

"I'm Jasper." he said as his hips started to grind into my ass, closely following my movements to the music.

"Bella." I answered back pushing my ass into his already prominent erection.

We danced together for a few more songs with him whispering how beautiful and sexy I was, his steamy breath caressing my ear in the process. As his words became less, his hands migrated from my hip to my chest causing my head to fall back on his shoulder and moan.

"Let's get out of here." His voice husky as he pressed harder into my ass and pinched my cloth covered nipple. I nodded my head violently at the same time that his body was forcefully removed from my back.

"Not with this one, Jazz." I turned sharply as Emmett's hard voice came from behind.

I was stunned as Emmett stood between me and a very sexy yet pissed off looking man.

"What the fuck, Emmett?" Jasper hissed while noticeably clenching his fists

"This one is mine." Emmett explained before nodding at Jasper and turning back to me. "Come on Bells, let's get you home."

"I don't belong to anyone." I spat, ok so maybe it was more like I slurred; not as menacing as I'd hoped to be.

"Yes, you do." Emmett hissed as he picked me up and tossed me roughly over his broad and muscular shoulder.

"Dude, I wouldn't have if I had known." Jasper said behind me and shrugged his shoulders as I looked through my hair begging him for help.

"It's cool Jazz. See ya in practice, man." he tossed over his shoulder, or more like over my ass, as he started maneuvering though the mass of stunned co-eds to the front door.

"It's not cool." I hissed while slapping Emmett's ass and kicking my legs. "I don't belong to you, I'm my own person."

"Calm down Bells, or I'm gonna drop your skinny ass." He laughed as many people pointed, my face turning hot and red from both the embarrassment and extra blood being forced into it.

"Put me down." I said as my stomach started turning.

"Not going to happen, Bella." I shook my head and closed my eyes against the nausea.

"I'm serious Em; put me down." I stuttered trying hard not to throw up all down his back. "I'm gonna puke." My feet were on the ground faster than were possible, the world spinning even more as I fell to the sidewalk with my arms wrapped around my stomach.

"You ok, Bells?" I looked up to his knees and glared as I shook my head no; BIG MISTAKE, and then threw up on his shoes. "Ah fuck Bella, not the shoes."

"I wash them anyway." I said as I laid down on the sidewalk after empting all the contents of my stomach. "Gonna sleep now, yell at you later."

"No, no, no Bells; no sleeping on the street." He laughed as he picked me up and carried me bridal style back to our apartment.

"Still gonna yell at you later." I whispered/slurred as I snuggled into his chest and let the blackness take me.


"He really said 'Mine'?" Angela asked though a mouth full of turkey.

"How?" I rolled my eyes and sighed at the fact that she had heard about that already. "It got around that fast, huh?" She nodded excitedly as she shoved another overly big bite into her mouth. "From what I can remember, yes he did."

"I knew it." Angela slapped her leg and squealed.

"Knew what?"

"The boy wants you Bella, he has for a long time." She nodded her head as she said this and I looked over to Ben who looked just as lost.

"Long time? What are you talking about Ang." She rolled her eyes and sighed.

"This isn't the first time he has pussy-blocked you, right?" she tapped her fingers on the table top.

"Yeah, but it's only because he was looking out for his roommates welfare."

"Bullshit. It's because he wants you for himself and you were gonna give it up to someone else."

"He doesn't need me to give it up to him, every other skank on campus already does." I spat and then covered my mouth with my hand. Her eyes lit up and she pointed to me with a 'AH-H!'.

"I knew you liked him, you can try to play coy all you want. I told you, didn't I Benny?" He nodded and looked at me apologetically. "Anyway, the boy hasn't been with anyone for the last few months.

"He's my roommate of course I like him." I said as I tried to convince both her and myself. "And what are you talking about? He just had that blonde law bimbo over a couple days ago."

"Did you actually SEE the girl? I mean, really Bella, how long has it been since you've SEEN him with a girl?" I thought hard on this little tid-bit of information and shrugged.

"It's a great hopeless romantic theory, Ang." She raised her brows and smiled smugly at me.

"Well then, let's do a little experimentation then, shall we."