My attempt at being existential. This is very different from what I usually write because it was originally written for a 20th century humanities assignment. Note: If you try to rip this and claim it for your own work it will show up in safe assign. Just so you know. :)

Disclaimer: All characters are property of Jean-Paul Sartre. I just borrowed them for a bit.

Where's the Exit?

ESTELLE: Inez, Garcin, have you seen that new play? The one by Jean-Paul Sartre? It's all the rage back home in Paris.

GARCIN: I have never been to Paris so how could I have seen the play?

INEZ: Don't listen to him beautiful, if you say it's good then why shouldn't it be?

ESTELLE: I never said it was good. As a well-educated critic I would say there is one character who irritates me. The silly, young, baby-murdering girl. [Estelle looks distraught.]

GARCIN: I suppose you two will find some way to drag me into this conversation so I will ask you now, how many characters are there?

ESTELLE: It's absolutely horrid. There are only three, two women and a man.

[Garcin looks at Estelle in disbelief. Inez pretends to be interested but is staring at Estelle's hair.]

GARCIN: Are you sure you remember correctly? I have never heard of such a thing.

ESTELLE: [in a whiny voice] Of course I am sure. There were all dead and locked together in a room.

GARCIN: You must be confused, that would make no sense. A play with three dead people?

INEZ: Don't listen to him Estelle, he doesn't know about real art.

[Garcin looks offended.]

ESTELLE: Oh dear, but it gets worse. They are all in- they're all below. Where the bad people go.


ESTELLE: Don't say that word! It's not a very nice word.

GARCIN: It's a just a word. Don't judge it so harshly. Why were these three people in hell?

ESTELLE: That's the horrible part! An older, ugly lady preferred women and killed a man to take his woman. Then that woman, Florence if I recall correctly, after being abused by her kills her by letting the gas out of the stove to suffocate them in their sleep. [Inez starts shifting her weight from one foot to the other.] What a horrible way to kill someone! And the other person, the man in the room. He was a deserter! A coward! [Garcin goes to sit over on a green sofa, his head buried in his hands.] Look! Even Garcin can't stand the idea!

[Inez looks over at Garcin and smirks.]

INEZ: You said there were three. What about the other? The baby murderer?

ESTELLE: [Estelle suddenly calms down.] The character herself was wonderfully well rounded. She would have been my favorite under other circumstances. I felt a connection with her.

GARCIN: The baby murderer? [Estelle nods her head.] What was wrong with her?

ESTELLE: The actress didn't look like she should. Or should I say actor? Oh! How could a director do such a thing? Replace what should be a beautiful and thin blonde girl with a shaggy haired man!

INEZ: You are right of course, it should always be women.

GARCIN: Did he wear a dress?

ESTELLE: Yes! Blue silk with the most adorable little buttons and lace. The gloves were lovely as well. I could see even from the audience. Oh, how I wish I was him!