Love, Lies, and Duty won 2nd Place and Judges Choice. :)
Thank you to everyone that has read and voted for this O/S, it means a lot to me.
Do Not Own Twilight.
"Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies."
Love, Lies, and Duty
This is the last time that he would see her.
It's a promise that he has been making to himself for years… he has yet to keep it.
His forbidden fruit.
He saw how members of his tribe stared when she came to visit in their younger years. Even now as he remembered those days, it still bothers him greatly that she was looked at so differently.
He shouldn't care what his tribe thinks, he should break off his engagement to Leah, but he can't. Responsibilities. That's what his life has been about since the day that she left for her honeymoon. It didn't matter that he didn't love Leah, it didn't matter that his heart was somewhere else in the world and he might never see her alive again. Responsibility. Becoming Alpha, becoming Chief, becoming a husband, becoming a father…
Everything was chosen for him once Bella was out of the picture.
Lucky for him the husband and father titles weren't a part of his life with Leah, yet. But they would be, as it was his duty. Sooner or later.
One was to come much sooner than he anticipated.
His Bella, his love was pregnant.
She couldn't be his. She wasn't welcome; they all believed her to have ties to the Cullen's. Members of the tribe that weren't aware of the Cullen's true nature still knew to steer clear of them. Most thought it was a racial issue.
However, Jacob knew something no one else knew. They were no longer a part of Bella. The Cullen's sacrificed their freedom, eternity, so Bella could live a human life. So she could love him, so she could marry him, so she could give birth to his children.
Oh, how he loved this woman. The woman sitting on the couch with her feet on the coffee table, and swollen with his child.
Why couldn't life be easy? Why did everything have to turn to utter and complete shit for him?
He walked over and sat down next to her, then rested his large hand on her belly. His son kicked his hand - tears welled in his eyes. Would he get the chance to see his son brought into this world? His little boy, his heir, the child that he loved so much it made his heart ache.
Bella gave him a small smile; it didn't reach her beautiful, sad brown eyes. She placed her hand over his and told him that it would be alright. She understood. She wasn't Quileute, Leah had native blood in her; it's what is best for his people. She would always have a piece of Jacob with her within their son. She would meet their son in two months time, possibly sooner. She would love him for both Jacob and herself. He would always know how much his father loves him. She would tell him every single day.
Jacob stared at the woman next to him, the small goddess that stole his heart all those years ago. He choked back a sob and left her house. It was no longer Charlie's house. Her father moved onto the reservation, he married Sue Clearwater. Ironic, the man he wished for so long that would someday be his father-in-law was in fact going to be his father-in-law, but for the wrong reason. Because of the wrong woman.
He was in agony. His head felt like it was being sliced in half. He wanted to take Bella and their son and run away together. To live their lives far away from La Push, far away from Forks.
He went back to his father's house, the little red house that no longer felt like his home. Now it was the place where he grew up; home was where the pale siren pregnant with his child resided. Every step away from his love tore a piece of his soul away.
What would the pain be like when he married Leah? Would he die a miserable death? Suffering from not having his son and the other half of his soul by his side?
Leah came over to the Black house shortly after he arrived; gabbing away, discussing wedding plans with his father. Billy was ecstatic. Jacob could live a thousand lifetimes without ever seeing another bridal magazine.
Bella wouldn't be like this. Bella would marry him on the beach, just the two of them, no one else. Bella would understand that he did not want to wear a tux. She would let him wear cut-offs and go shirtless.
He laughed at the thought.
Leah and his father looked over at him. He shook his head and went to his room.
He pulled out his secret stash. The sonogram picture of his son; a picture of Bella, barefoot, six months pregnant, cooking pancakes, smiling…
He doubled over in pain, his heart clenched, his stomach turned, the tears flowed freely.
He called her. She answered, she knew he would call. He always did after leaving abruptly; when it became too much to bear.
He begged her to ask him to call off the wedding. He begged her to tell him to come home, where his beloved was surely still sitting on the couch watching television, and eating some of her favorite ice cream.
She would not waver. If Jacob wanted to come to her, he had to do it on his own. But she would not beg. She would not be selfish. Selfishness was the monster that she was when she was a teenager. That selfish side was no longer a part of her. She grew up. It wasn't all about her anymore.
"Jacob, if this is too hard on you, if you can't - don't come over if you can't deal with this. You made a commitment. No one asked you to propose to her. Just… please Jake. Don't do this, don't ask me. I can't do it. I want you too much. It's hard enough as it is. Goodbye Jacob."
The line went dead.
He couldn't breathe.
Leah came into his room. Jacob was turning blue. She ran to get help. He let what happened sink in… the air felt like shards of glass inside his lungs…
He sobbed. He yelled. He cursed everyone in La Push.
Sam came over shortly after Leah left the Black house searching for help. Jacob would not leave his room. He lay on his small bed, his legs hanging off the edge, his arms over his face, the never ending tears cascading down the sides of his face. Sam could feel his Alpha's misery.
"Why are you doing this to yourself Jacob? Is Bella really worth all this? You are going to be a married man in less than a month. Why won't you just let her go?"
"Go away Sam. You don't know what I'm giving up for this tribe, these judgmental people that only care about appearances. Go home to your imprint. Let me mourn the loss of mine."
"What the hell are you talking about? Who's your imprint?"
"You really don't know? All that time you thought I was an obsessed teenage boy… I wasn't. Every day without her hurts. Every day without touching her makes this fucking thing in my chest beat slower. But I'm doing it. I'm making everyone else happy. Giving my father the daughter-in-law he dreamed of, giving my tribe a native as the Chief's wife, I gave you your freedom from Alpha. Take… that's all you do. Take from me. So keep taking, keep denying that I'm forsaking my imprint… Go away Sam. There's nothing for you here. I'll do my duty."
"It can't be… but… how… Jacob-"
"GET OUT!" The Alpha timbre in his voice vibrated through the air in the tiny room. Sam left without uttering another word.
…One Month Later…
Jacob stood and stared into the mirror in his room, carefully buttoning up the white, long sleeve shirt.
One month since he last saw Bella.
One month since he spoke to Sam or anyone for that matter.
One month since he lost it and shed more tears than when his mother passed.
His skin was not as tan, he was thinner, and weaker. Leah didn't notice, or she just didn't give a fuck. She knew. She knew Bella was his imprint. She didn't care. She would be the Chief's wife, why should she care about a pale face that she thought wouldn't be remembered once she had Jacob all to herself?
He wouldn't sleep with her. He refused. His body belonged to his brunette goddess, his imprint, his love, his Bells. If this was all he had to hang on to that was hers, then that's what he would do. Leah could have her children some other way; invitro, anything that did not require him fucking her.
His hands were shaking. He couldn't remember the last time he ate. His father came to check on him. He attempted to hold his hand. Jacob snatched it away quickly. For the last month any time someone would touch him, it would cause him physical pain. His only thought being, it isn't Bella.
Billy looked at him cautiously before speaking. "Son, I know you don't understand. In time you will. When you and Leah have a child, you will understand. This is for the best. Bella… I love her, she's Charlie's daughter. She has been around our family for a long time. But she isn't right for you. She wasn't your imprint. Leah is perfect for you. I wish you could see that now, before you marry her. In due time, I know you will. Come on. We have an hour to finish getting ready and to get to the church."
"I'll never love her. You might as well accept that fact. Go ahead, I'll meet you there. There's something I have to do first."
Billy looked at his son, contemplating on if he should just wait for him. He did not think for long. His son would not run away from his responsibility to his people. He nodded at Jacob and went to call Paul for a ride to the church.
Jacob waited until his father was gone, and then he ran...
When he reached his destination he collapsed on the grass. The death grip around his heart intensified. He looked at his mother's grave and he prayed. He prayed for a sign. He prayed to be saved from making the biggest mistake of his life. One month later, the tears came back. The sadness overwhelmed him.
A sign please, just send me a sign. Spirits, if you are listening, send me something. Anything. I don't want to live a life that I will forever regret. Please, please, please help me.
Nothing happened. No great mystical revelation. Nothing.
It started to rain. He didn't care. The clothes could soak in shit and he would walk right up to Leah that way. He got up from the grass, touched his lips to his fingers, and brushed them over his mother's headstone.
He arrived on time, just like he said he would.
They were all there. Everyone from the tribe was cramped, sitting and standing to witness the wedding. Leah left no stone unturned, every single person was invited. It was to be the biggest celebration La Push had ever seen. Jacob went to the front, stood beside the minister, and he waited.
Leah walked in, she was wearing a white dress. He fought back a chuckle. White. What a joke. She fucked Sam and a few other men before Jacob began to see her. He knew. He knew about all of them. She thought she was fooling him into thinking that she had only slept with Sam. She wasn't.
He was Bella's first. He was Bella's only. She was his first and his only; and she would be his last.
His breath caught in his throat. Thoughts of her tortured his very soul that yearned to be with her. Jared stood quickly and helped him up by his arm; he spoke so low that only Jacob could hear, "I got you. Just take a deep breath… You don't have to do this. I'm begging you, brother. Don't do this. I know what it's like, hurting yourself, staying away from your imprint. Please. Don't do this for the wrong reasons."
He let Jacob go once he was sure that his Alpha would not fall.
Jacob looked at his Beta. He was shocked. Not one person, not one pack member had ever said anything remotely negative about this situation.
Leah reached for his hand. He hesitantly gave it to her. The minister began to speak...
Jacob was lost… he was lost in a world where the woman next to him was shorter, her skin paler, her smile happier, and pregnant with his son…
His phone beeped.
Everyone at the church laughed at the blunder. Leah glared at him. He apologized and took it out. What he saw ripped his heart into fragments… a picture. Bella holding his son. 'He's here. 8 lbs, 6 oz, 23 inches long. His name is Jacob Swan.'
He dropped the phone, the noise echoed through the church.
His son. His child was born on the day of his wedding.
He glanced around the room. Leah was getting impatient, she told the minister to continue. He looked at his pack - they knew. They knew Bella was his imprint, they knew Jacob was literally killing himself to do his duty.
Jared stood up and walked over to the cell phone on the floor. He picked it up and opened it. His eyes widened. His Alpha had a son. Holy shit!
Jacob's mind was racing, he couldn't do it. He couldn't say 'I do.'
He let go of the hand that didn't fit in his own, turned around, and ran.
He left the wedding, and his pack brothers followed right behind him.
He phased and ran faster and harder than he ever had as a wolf. He didn't bother blocking his thoughts; he let his memories flow like water. His pack saw everything. Bella, the imprint bond, Jacob visiting her, Jacob loving her, Jacob losing his mind over not seeing her, Bella swollen with their Alpha's child.
They howled in unison. They never knew their Alpha's pain.
Jacob reached Forks Hospital, he phased back, but he didn't have clothes with him. Jared came up to him and gave him his shorts that he tied to his leg before he phased. He knew Jacob would need them. Jacob thanked him and put the shorts on. He walked to the hospital entrance, scared, nervous, and a thousand pound weight lifted off his shoulders.
The nurses tried to get him to leave. No shirt, no shoes rule. He wouldn't. He explained that his newborn son was there, the mother of his son was there somewhere. She just gave birth. One of the nurses recognized him; Bella had shown her a picture. She gave him a scrub shirt and let slide the fact that he didn't have shoes on. After putting the shirt on and walking a short distance from the nurses, he sniffed the air. Searching for Bella's scent…
He found her. He stepped into the room as quietly as he could. She was asleep, and his son was in the incubator next to her. He walked over to them - the two people that he loved more than anyone else in this universe. He gazed adoringly at both of them; the small, brunette woman that he has loved for so long, and his son that he loved from the moment he heard the tiny flutter of his heartbeat in her womb when her belly was still flat.
He went to her side of the hospital bed and slowly got in with her. He wrapped himself around her, cocooning her in his warmth. She snuggled into his side and breathed out his name. He smiled. The first genuine smile in so long he couldn't remember the last time it happened.
The death grip around his heart was gone, and he could breathe again. Her scent enveloped him, calming him to the point where he thought he might be able to truly sleep. He could never leave them. He would deal with the consequences later. Nothing and no one would ever keep him from his imprint and his child ever again. This is what's important. This is what made life worth living.
The pack stayed outside the hospital, hidden in the trees. Protecting the Alpha, his mate, and their son…