I don't know why I'm writing in one of these, I've never had the need to before, it always seemed like such a human thing to do but I guess that's the point of me doing this now. Anyway, it's only been a few days since my life changed, everything seems to be fine but I'm still worried, the ending to it all seemed too easy, I can't help but wonder if something is going to happen. In the back of my mind there's something worrying me, like I missed something. Father has told me not to think too much about it, he says that I should just go along with life and see where it takes me, so I suppose I should listen to him.
There's a party tonight, Ciel's fiancée Lady Elizabeth has organised a surprise ball for him at the manor so he's currently out in town with that odd butler of his whilst the preparations are underway and I'm sat here dressed up to high heaven with nothing to do but write in this. I am interested to see if Ciel remembers anything but father told me that the bookmark is absolute, human minds are fickle things and easily altered...however I still wonder about the Shinigami, they're divine beings, they control the records so shouldn't they have some sort of warning if something like this happens...I don't want to ask him about it...'
Rose looked up from her diary and listened carefully, the house was silent, she couldn't hear anything but then all of a sudden she heard something crash downstairs and then a stream of cuss words shortly followed, Rose smiled.
'Well, it isn't that I don't want to ask him about it but it would ruin our little game, you see we're still playing lady and butler at the moment whilst things cool down and we make sure everything has gone to plan. I am Lady Burnett and he is my faithful butler Sutcliff and that's all there is to it as far as everyone is concerned. We started acting like this immediately after I had changed things in my record, I think it's just a way for us to accommodate our awkwardness at the moment, I don't know how to act around him normally and I think this act is our way of dealing with it.
I can't stop thinking about that day we discovered each other properly and what happened afterwards, my body aches when I think of it and I want his touch more than anything but we've fallen into this strange performance and I don't think either of us know what we're doing. Maybe he feels as awkward as me or maybe he's just playing with me before he carries out his promise, its a cruel thing but I imagine I deserve it...though the thought of him teasing me in such a harsh way does fill me with an incredible want...what am I talking about!'
Rose threw the quill onto the page she had just written and red ink flicked across the white paper staining it dark crimson, she rubbed her hand over her head and sighed, he was driving her wild acting like this, like nothing had ever happened, they had spoken to each other briefly but it had always been under their ruse and they had never spoken a word about past events involving the stolen records and all the trouble that had been cause or of their forbidden desire. Rose had been worried at first that he had forgotten but when their eyes had met she knew that wasn't true, they were full of knowing and want but he was holding back.
Downstairs in the hallway Grell was picking up a smashed expensive tea set that he had dropped whilst making his way upstairs. He had been extremely deep in thought and the clock had chimed six loudly catching him off guard, he had jumped at the sound and dropped everything in fright. Whilst he was picking up the tea set off the floor and muttering to himself he sighed loudly and threw it all on the floor again, this time on purpose, he sat down heavily at the foot of the stairs with his chin leaning on his hands and stared at the front door with a miserable expression.
"What the hell am I doing?" Grell whined to himself looking at his reflection in the glass, his hair was tied back and brown, his red glasses were stored away and instead he was donning his round ones and his face was free of any makeup, "Why can't I talk to her?"
After Rose had written in the record two days ago Grell had gone to fetch some tea but whilst he had been in the kitchen waiting for the kettle to boil he had changed into his butler garb in case anyone had come round and then all of a sudden an uneasy feeling had crept over him, something like apprehension. Rose knew who he was, he knew who she was, they knew how they felt about each other and it made him feel incredibly anxious, a whole new journey lay ahead of them and he didn't know what he was going to do. The only thing that had come to his mind was that he would play out this charade with her and see if she said anything to him but she hadn't and he was starting to think that she didn't remember anything.
"She has to know..." Grell said staring into the eyes of his own sad reflection; Grell's eyebrows knitted together and he clenched his teeth becoming angry with himself, "This is no way to be acting, get a hold of yourself!" Grell said loosing his temper and standing up with his fists clenched, "I've been moping around for too long, its time she remembered what you're really like!"
Grell kicked the broken tea set with his foot irritably and then smiled chuckling to himself and pushing his glasses straight, "I've waited two days already," Grell looked up the stairs to Rose's door, it felt like the first time he had come for her a few days previous, all the anticipation building up in him and his body yearning. They were in the clear, if something had been wrong then they would have known about it by now, he could play faithful butler in the day in front of everyone as long as they had together but right now he wanted to be himself and he wanted Rose, "Here I come my dear, I hope you're ready for me." Grell grinned mounting the stairs, "But it doesn't matter if you're not, either way, there's no resisting me. I want you, and I get what I want."