Agnus castus. I'm not stupid. I know what it means, and I know why it is currently sitting on my bed. Why, you ask? Well, simply because Scorpius Malfoy doesn't care.

He knows I have a crush on him.

The agnus castus means 'indifference'. So, he doesn't care.

I hate him.

I opened my heart for the first time in my life, and this is what I get.

I just want to die.

Even my parents don't know much about me. All they know is what I choose to tell them. And a lot of what I tell them is lies. The only person who ever knew everything about me is dead.

They murdered her.

A few Death Eaters—the crazy ones, not ones like Draco Malfoy (why can't I get away from Scorpius?) who are trying to be peaceable, the really crazy pureblood only types—are coming back. And they killed Gracie Farland. They killed my best friend.

I think I have right to hate them.

And now, Scorpius leaves me the agnus castus, which Rose confirmed as being the flower of 'coldness' or 'indifference', and I think I've reached the breaking point.

It hurts.

But it'll get better.

It has to, right? Because if it didn't get better, no one would ever live past their teenage years, and I want to see what life is like outside of Hogwarts first.

So I won't do anything stupid… yet.

Well, that came out being weird. It started out R/S and then became Lily. I've fallen in love with writing her, I swear. So, more flowerful things about random characters coming soon to computers near you!

I don't own Hp/