Lisa Ex Machina: Part 1

"Oh my head," Lisa said rubbing her head. "Lisa! Thank goodness you're alive!" Said Marge as she gave her daughter a giant hug, her family had come to the hospital; two weeks ago Lisa had been a victim of a terrible accident. The result had gotten Mr. Burns sent to Federal Prison for the rest of his life… which wasn't long since he died two days after he was incarcerated. "Mom, what happened?" Lisa asked meekly, her head was almost completely numb when she woke up.

Marge explained to Lisa what had happened in the last two weeks. "So Mr. Burns is finally dead?" She asked, "No sudden reappearances? No clones? No-" "Believe me Lis, I saw the corpse," said Bart, "there is no way anyone could have faked that." "But that means that dad doesn't have a job!" Lisa exclaimed she was right of course. With Mr. Burns dead that also meant that Homer was out of a job… yet again. "A funny thing about that Lisa." Said Homer, with an unusually big smile on his face. "The government has just given the whole family a huge check! And then another one, and another one, and then another one for the next twenty years!" He said raising his arm wide. "That's great! But why?" Lisa asked.

"Oh that doesn't matter! The point is were financially secure!… at least for next twenty years!" Homer went on in his unusually optimistic tone. Dr. Hibbert forced Bart and Homer out of the room in order to tell Marge something important. "Marge, about the incident." He began remembering the tragic details of the incident that infirmed Lisa. An accident so tragic, that I can't even write it without getting emotional, let's just say that it involved penguins, a nondairy powdered creamer, a stale loaf of bread, and a train.

"Please don't remind me, now what is it about?" Marge asked impatiently. "Uh… I think THIS man can answer you better." He said, point to a lanky man in a lab coat. "Hello, my name is professor Ivan Bishop!" He said with a loud Russian accent, he then took Marge's hand and shook it wildly. "Now then, your daughter's body was nearly destroyed in the incident. So… we had to. ." He said quickly. "What?" Marge asked confused. "How is that possible? I was told that she was just in a coma!" "She was, it was just a really DEEP coma that if left uncheck would have killed her." The professor then droned on for several minutes. About the technology involved, the tests the government was running on 1st generation cyborgs, and something about a giant pet rat he had when he was a child.

"So, the government is using my daughter to experiment with cyborgs?" Marge asked, still trying to process the fact that her second oldest child is now a robot. "Basically yes," said Ivan, "does Lisa suspect?" Asked Marge. "No, but if she should learn that she is now a robot, there is a good chance she will go mad, or at best gain a large amount of angst." Said Ivan, twiddling his thumbs.

Later that day the Simpsons returned home. Plopping themselves onto the coach in time for TV like they do almost every day, but the only shows that were on at that time, were reruns of The Six Million Dollar Man, The Bionic Women, and several other shows related in some way or another to Lisa's 'condition.'

"Uh, why don't we get ready for dinner?" Marge suggested awkwardly, turning off the TV. Dinner went by relatively smooth, nobody asked any suspicious questions, and Lisa was so far behaving normally. This worried Marge to no end, because whenever things were going smoothly was when they would go downhill fast. Or at least that was what the last ten years have taught her.