Title: Cure for the Common Cold
Fandom: Jeeves and Wooster
Word Count: 336
A/N: I've recently found myself falling in love with the Jeeves and Wooster fandom and had to take a moment to jot this down. Enjoy!
It has always been an axiom of mine – if axiom is the word I'm looking for – that when life gives you lemons you should have Jeeves make lemonade.
But what do you bally well do when life gives you oranges instead?
"I say." I-sayed. Or rather, I gave it the good old Eton try. The Wooster nose was quite stuffed at the m. and I'm sorry to say that my normally dulcet tones had been reduced to a low braying, quite reminiscent of Aunt A.'s battle call, in fact.
"I say." I-sayed-brayed again. "Jeeves! Our kitchen has been invaded by the sweet and the fruity!"
"Indeed sir." I watched as each orange shimmered between his hands and the pitcher, juice accumulating in so many drips and drops. "The nutrients found in the Citrus sinensis have proved beneficial for those suffering from Acute Viral Rhinopharyngitis."
"… The grey matter is feeling a tad lazy today Jeeves." The final orange was sacrificed and its peel abandoned to a dark death within the kitchen's wastebasket. In my feverous state I feared for a moment that I heard the poor blighter calling out to its comrades. Jeeves, ignoring the fruit's plight, strained the whole mixture and handed me the vibrantly colored product.
"It will help with your cold sir."
"Ah." I raised the glass to my lips but paused, the gears upstairs starting to turn.
"You know Jeeves,"
"It's right silly of me to be indulging in this fine concoction alone. After all, aren't colds all social like? The c-whatsit."
"That's the chappie."
"Indeed sir. It would no doubt be prudent for me to sample the juice as well."
"Too right my man."
He summoned another glass, in a manner withheld from us mere mortals, and I split the drink between us.
"Over the teeth, and past the gums, look out stomach – here it comes!"
"As you say sir. To your good health."
We clinked our glasses in a most comradely fashion and drank the sweetness down.