Author's Notes: Written for ThisLife103.7's OTP with a Twist challenge on the Bellatrix Lestrange: The Dark Lord's Most Faithful forum, and inspired by discussion on the associated challenge thread.

Voldemort/Bellatrix/Rodolphus/Narcissa/Lucius. The genre is humour because of the sheer… "WTF"-ness of the premise.

Warning: The epitome of porn without plot. Don't even try to look for a point to this story, there is none. Also, yes, the smut is pretty bad. This is 70% intentional and 30% me-not-being-able-to-stand-to-edit-the-smut-parts-properly.

Enjoy!

)O(

Bellatrix had protested vehemently when she found out that she and Rodolphus and Lucius and Narcissa were to have adjoining rooms on their honeymoon.

"Mother!" Bellatrix cried, "I don't want to spend my honeymoon with my little sister in the next room! That will make it so difficult to enjoy!"

But Druella had been firm. "The arrangements have already been made. Those were the only two rooms in decent wizarding establishments. I wouldn't have my daughters spending their honeymoons anywhere besides the most attractive and expensive rooms possible." And however much Bellatrix complained, she still ended up on her wedding night with her sister in the next room.

It did make things rather awkward.

Of course, part of the reason for the awkwardness might have been Rodolphus himself. He was simply not an interesting bedmate… no chance of anything the least bit creative with him, Bellatrix thought bitterly.

No, the source of the awkwardness definitely had more to do with Lucius and Narcissa.

On the morning after their wedding night, both Bellatrix and Rodolphus were lying in bed while sunlight streamed in the window. Rodolphus was fast asleep, snoring softly, and Bellatrix was entertaining herself by seeing how many times she could stab the skin of his back with a hairpin before he woke up.

There was a knock at the door and Bellatrix yelped with surprise, dropping the pin. She hurriedly grabbed a book off the table by the bed and wrenched it open, pretending to be engrossed in it as Narcissa stepped inside.

"You're reading?" Narcissa asked.

Bellatrix looked up innocently. "Yes. So what?"

"Reading the dictionary?"

"What's your point Narcissa?"

"You're reading the dictionary… upside down."

Bellatrix glanced down at the page and hurriedly turned the book right side up and shut it. "Why are you here, Narcissa? You shouldn't come barging into people's honeymoon suites. Rodolphus and I could have been…"

Narcissa shuddered delicately. "I only came to tell you that the Dark Lord is here and he'd like to see you."

"The Dark Lord? What? Why- My Lord!" Bellatrix hurriedly bowed, clutching a sheet to her chest, acutely aware of her nudity as the Dark Lord stepped into the room, accompanied by Lucius.

The Dark Lord raised his eyebrows, considering them. "I do hope I haven't interrupted anything…"

"No, my Lord," Bellatrix said immediately, giving Rodolphus a slap to wake him up.

"Good," he said. "Lucius, Narcissa, if you would, join the couple on the bed."

Narcissa looked utterly scandalized. "P- pardon, my Lord?" she asked, her pale blue eyes comically wide with horror.

"On the bed," he told them simply. "I order you to join Bellatrix and Rodolphus on the bed."

Lucius complied hesitantly, sitting down on the pillows, looking at the Dark Lord with trepidation. Narcissa followed her husband, looking quite shocked that such a thing was happening at all.

The Dark Lord considered the two couples. "You four really do make quite the attractive picture," he said, almost to himself. "So… familial… and blood is so important…" He paused, apparently momentarily lost in thought, then shook himself. "Narcissa, suck Lucius's cock."

Narcissa looked like she was about to faint. "What?"

"You heard me."

"Do it Narcissa!" Bellatrix told her sister, eager to agree with the Dark Lord, though she hadn't the first clue why.

Narcissa's lower lip trembled. "But- but- but-"

"Shut up, Cissy! Do what he says!"

Narcissa pouted, but she twisted to face Lucius, lowering herself between his legs and undoing his robes.

"Good," said the Dark Lord, apparently pleased by this. "And… Bellatrix, fuck Rodolphus."

Unlike her sister, Bellatrix did not hesitate. She immediately wrenched the blankets off a very surprised looking Rodolphus, gave his cock a few rough tugs to get it somewhat hard, and sank down on it.

Bellatrix's head fell back in sheer rapture as she clawed at Rodolphus's hair. There was a hiss from behind her, and she felt a pair of ice-cold hands grabbing her by the waist. Twisting, she had only a second before the Dark Lord caught her by her chin and pressed a hot, hard kiss against her lips. She pushed Rodolphus down onto his back, straddling him as the Dark Lord grasped at her body.

Rodolphus let out a groan of protest, but was silenced almost immediately by Narcissa, who, taking advantage of Rodolphus's mouth while she sucked on Lucius, shifted so she was straddling Rodolphus's face. Bellatrix broke away from the Dark Lord's kiss long enough to see her sister writhing in delight.

The Dark Lord's hand had skated down Bellatrix's back, and his fingers probed at the cleft of her arse, causing her to shudder in delight. "My Lord…"

He bit her lips hard, effectively silencing her. He was spreading her open now, and she bent forward, Rodolphus's cock still buried in her, spread open for the Dark Lord.

She let out a cry of sheer delight when she felt the tip of his cock press against her tighter opening, though her body automatically clenched. Between Narcissa's frenzied cries of delight and Rodolphus's muffled moans, the Dark Lord's high, cool voice could be heard uttering in incantation. A second later, Bellatrix felt wetness inside her, and her eyes fluttered closed in pleasure and anticipation.

He brushed against her, and a second later, Bellatrix let out a cry of delight as he slid inside. She had never felt so full, so completely and utterly satisfied. "My Lord!"

The Dark Lord thrust hard, which caused Bellatrix to buck against Rodolphus, who responded by moaning against Narcissa, whose mouth was now full of Lucius's erection. Lucius threw his head back and moaned, clutching at Narcissa's hair while she rocked against Rodolphus's mouth.

Bellatrix was the first to reach climax. She arched back against the Dark Lord, clutching him as she tensed around him and Rodolphus, eliciting moans from both. Rodolphus let go instantly, filling her up as he arched against her. He clung to Narcissa, who moaned loudly, sending vibrations along Lucius's cock. But Bellatrix was too far gone to notice any of the others. She was lost in a delightful whirl of pleasure, and the only thing she noticed was the Dark Lord's low moan as he too let go inside of her.

They fell onto the bed in a tangle of heaving bodies – Narcissa between Lucius's legs, Rodolphus pinned beneath her and Bellatrix, and the Dark Lord slightly apart from the others, scarcely showing that he had felt anything.

)O(

Fin