Behold! I have finally, FINALLY, completed this one-shot. Good Lord, why did it take me so long? I have no idea, but it's done. And just in time for Halloween too! (a bit early even)
Dedication: Imma gonna throw out a dedication to xCastielsGirlx because she urged me to finish this, and she wanted to see it, and so here it is! Hope it was worth the pathetically long wait. :/
This isn't actually the Halloween Fic for this year, but I'll post it as a Halloween fic anyway. I have another one planned which I will post ON Halloween. It's a three shot, and I'll post each chapter during the day's course. (Morning, Afternoon, Evening).
Warnings: gore, some violence, language and a healthy dose of crack humour. (I'm a crack-humour addict, it seems.) Oh, and it's a light SasuNaru.
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, nor do I own Shaun of the Dead, which inspired this ficlet! (That movie is freaking awesome XD)
Lights flashed in his vision, colours blurred and sounds crashed together like tumultuous waves that soon crumbled into nothing but a dim roar that, instead of making sense, simply buzzed in his ears like an annoying headache.
Sweat was rolling down the side of his face, and his arms were getting so tired from the effort to hold the door closed.
Hands were waving frantically all around him, trying to grab him but being hindered by the door. A few faces were visible in the crack, eyes blank white and pupil-less and mouths gaping open. Some had blood smeared over their mouths, others had bits of flesh stringing from teeth while gaping wounds in their chests oozed goo and congealed blood.
Uzumaki Naruto gritted his teeth and pushed harder against the door.
The only thing that was blocking them from the zombie hordes outside.
Who would have thought the world would end on a Saturday? There had to be some law against that.
"Shit! HURRY UP KIBA! WE CAN'T KEEP THIS UP MUCH LONGER!" Naruto yelled, and he was supported with a strained grunt from the man beside him.
That man was Uchiha Sasuke, an old acquaintance from his past.
It was a funny story how he'd run into his old classmate and rival and this whole thing began.
It had started out like any other Saturday morning. Naruto had woken up, yawning and stretching and shuffling across to his bathroom to relieve himself. After a brief wash-up, he'd stood in front of the mirror debating whether or not to go out for breakfast or not.
Eventually, he decided he didn't feel like cooking, but he didn't want to go to a restaurant either.
So his solution was simple.
He would jog over to the corner store near his place, grab a cup ramen or five, and then come back here to make the simple and delicious meal before proceeding to vegetate in front of the boob-tube for a few hours.
It was a good plan.
So, he'd donned his black and orange shirt and favourite orange jacket, along with some blue jeans that had nice deep pockets, before making his way out of his house.
He'd gotten to the corner store when it happened.
First, someone had screamed. Everyone in the vicinity had looked up, wondering what was happening.
Then there were people fleeing from down the road, their faces panicked and horrified. A tall man standing next to Naruto in the shop had caught one of the fleeing people and asked what was happening.
"IT'S THE END OF THE WORLD!" the terrified man had screamed before shaking them off and continuing his fearful sprint up the road.
"...Well that was informative," Naruto muttered, turning his attention to down the street.
He'd decided to do the stupid thing...and go and investigate.
When he was near the corner of the street, he turned only to get bowled over by someone running. He cried out as both he and the other person collapsed onto the road.
"What the hell?" he groaned, looking up only to blink at a familiar pair of onyx eyes. "Sasuke? Uchiha Sasuke?" he asked with disbelief clear in his voice.
The raven haired male on top of him blinked, recognition lighting in those deep eyes. "...Uzumaki Naruto?"
The two stared at each other before Sasuke pulled back and held out his hand to pull Naruto to his feet.
"Uh...Good to see you again," Sasuke said awkwardly.
"Yeah...You too, I guess," Naruto rubbed the back of his head.
"RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!" a passing man screamed before disappearing around the corner.
Sauske cursed and grabbed a hold of the confused blond's hand, tugging him around the corner and away from the 'end of the world'.
"Wha-? Sasuke, what's going on?" Naruto asked, twisting so he could run alongside the raven instead of being dragged.
Sasuke didn't slow down and didn't let go of Naruto's wrist to make sure the blond followed. "You heard them. It's the end of the world," he said matter-of-factly. However, Naruto caught the slight sarcasm in his voice.
He took hope from that.
"Well care to explain HOW the world is supposedly ending?" The blond asked, speeding up.
Sasuke glanced at him briefly before looking behind them. His pale skin went slightly paler and he pointed. "That's how," he said slowly.
Naruto looked over his shoulder and his eyes bugged.
Real-life morbid, flesh eating, dead-eyed, moaning and groaning zombies.
"Holy shit," he breathed.
"That's what I said," Sasuke supplied in an understanding voice before pulling Naruto down the road once more. "We need to get somewhere safe!"
Naruto joined him in running. "W-we can go to my apartment? It's upstairs, and there are doors with locks and...and stuff," he offered, trailing off stupidly.
Sasuke nodded. "It's a start. But we'll keep thinking just in case something goes wrong," he said lightly, letting Naruto take the lead.
The blond nodded and felt a familiar glow in his chest at the sight of his apartment block. He did so love his apartment.
He led the way to the elevator and climbed inside, slamming the metal doors shut after Sasuke stepped in. Pressing the button, they stood side by side as the elevator slowly ascended.
As they passed the second floor, they heard a strange choking sound, and turned their heads to the right.
A zombie, clothes matted with blood, was hobbling towards the elevator. It slammed against the metal bars even as the elevator continued, and its blank white eyes stared up at them while some drool dribbled down its discoloured chin.
The two men in the elevator stared down at it until it was out of sight before looking at each other.
"...That was my landlord," Naruto informed, his voice cracking slightly.
Sasuke nodded slowly. "...He seemed like a nice man," he murmured in reply.
"Yeah, he was," Naruto agreed before thinking. "Kind of anal sometimes, though."
They stood in silence until the elevator reached the fourth floor and the doors rattled open. Naruto led the way down the corridor until he reached his door and quickly shoved the key in. The door swung open and he ushered his old classmate inside before firmly locking the door behind him.
Sasuke looked around the apartment, one eyebrow slowly rising higher and higher as he took in the obsessive amounts of orange furniture and decorations. Finally, after Naruto had finished bolting the fourth lock on the door tighter, he turned to look at the blond with a smirk.
"Orange, Dobe?" he queried, humour evident in his tone.
Naruto grinned, laughing a little hysterically. "Of course, Teme!" he said, lacing his hands behind his neck.
The two shared a nostalgic sigh at the use of their old nicknames, before they both walked over to the couch and flopped down onto the orange cushions.
Staring at the ceiling, they were lost in their own thoughts until finally, Sasuke broke it.
"...You seem to be taking this well."
"Hm?" Naruto asked.
"The end of the world via zombie hordes," Sasuke elaborated.
Naruto turned his head to look out the window. In the distance they could see the hordes streaming through the streets. The zombies were slow as hell, but it seemed they were strong. Once they grabbed someone, it looked near impossible to escape from their grasp.
Turning his eyes away from the view, he looked at Sasuke with a weak smile.
"I think my brain is still processing everything. I'm sure I'll start panicking in an hour or so," he drawled.
Sasuke smirked, turning to look at the T.V. "Mind if I turn it on?" he asked, and pressed the remote button when Naruto nodded.
It came up to a news station, and he settled down to listen to the reporter.
"Reports of the undead walking the streets have been pouring in since around eight o clock this morning. Police forces have been dispatched to assist in the situation, but it seems that even they are having trouble handling the hordes of undead bodies swarming our streets. All citizens are urged to find a safe place to stay, and wait for rescue. It is highly advised to stay away and avoid any attackers if you can, however if confrontation is unavoidable, it is proven that the attackers can be stopped by removing the head, or destroying the brain. I'll say it again, by either removing the head, or destroying the brain. We will try our best to keep updated with the situation, but everyone please remember to stay safe. We are all praying that we come through this crisis. God speed to you all."
There was a loud crash, and both men jumped a mile in the air before turning to look at the window. A pair of arms was scrabbling for a hold, and involuntarily, Naruto reached back to grab Sasuke's leg.
"Ngh! Dobe, that's not my thigh!" Sasuke gasped from behind him.
Naruto pulled his hand away, face burning. "Sorry!" he hissed.
"S'okay," Sasuke murmured.
Both of them stared at the window, waiting for the zombie's face to pop up. Sasuke's hand went creeping towards the table, where a glass ornament was resting.
Suddenly, a face popped up.
"Naruto! I'm so glad you're okay!" Inuzuka Kiba said, grinning.
Sasuke launched the ornament the moment Kiba's eyes were visible, and it hit him square between the eyes with a dull thud.
"OUCH! FUCK!" Kiba yelled, barely keeping his hold on the windowsill while the ornament fell to the ground below. "THE HELL WAS THAT FOR?" Kiba roared.
Naruto was running over to help while Sasuke looked sheepish.
"Sorry, I thought you were a zombie," he explained.
Kiba groaned as he tumbled inside and reached up to rub his face. "Well shit...I'll admit your aim is awesome but damn that hurt!" he whined.
"Sorry," Sasuke said again.
The brunet man shook his head, the grin returning. "It's fine. At least Naruto's with someone who can help him survive," he paused, finally getting an actual look at the person who hit him. "Whoa! Sasuke? Uchiha Sasuke?" he asked, eyes widening.
Sasuke nodded, smirking lightly. "Inuzuka Kiba," he greeted.
Kiba laughed. "Wow! It's been years, man! How long have you been here?"
"About ten minutes."
"Huh? Oh, no, I meant in Konoha."
"Oh. Then about four hours. I came back for a family visit but as soon as I got out of the airport...this happened," Sasuke scowled, motioning to the window.
Kiba nodded, taking a seat next to him and Naruto. "Yeah. I heard some theories that there was a huge chemical problem somewhere...and that the chemical that leaked somehow mutated people's bodies and they could come back to life, but in a dead sort of way!"
Both Naruto and Sasuke stared at the brunet before Naruto sighed.
"You were talking to Kankurou again, weren't you?" he asked.
Kiba looked defensive. "So? He knows his stuff! He's an expert!"
"He works at a gas station, Kiba."
"SO? You have any idea what kind of gossip one can overhear at a gas station?" Kiba whined, looking to Sasuke for help, but the raven just shook his head sadly. "Oh come on! It sounds possible!"
Naruto shrugged. "I don't care what caused it. I just want to know how they plan to stop it!" he murmured, looking at the T.V again. The screen was showing police forces at work. They were shooting at the zombies, seeming to aim for the heads. The men watched as zombies dropped to the ground, unmoving while others continued to mindlessly hobble towards them.
"...They're kinda funny to watch," Kiba noted, seeing the way one zombie stumbled and fell on its face before sluggishly getting back to its feet. "They're like...really, really drunk and hungry hobos."
Naruto snorted at the comparison and Sasuke smirked.
Both of them silently agreed, however.
Time dragged on, with the guys sitting on the couch and occasionally getting up to go to the bathroom or maybe snag a few snacks from the kitchen.
At around twelve thirty, Naruto walked into the kitchen to grab a few sodas. He yawned widely, and bent down, pulling open his fridge and sticking his head inside. He reached to the back of the fridge and grabbed three cans of Green Tea cola before pulling back and closing the door.
As soon as the white door was out of his way, he turned only to jump back into the fridge when a pair of blank white eyes stared at him from a gaunt face.
"HOLY HELL!" he yelled and dodged as the woman zombie lunged forward. Her face met the fridge door where his neck had been a moment before, and a small splatter of blood smeared on the white plastic. There were hurried footsteps, and Kiba and Sasuke soon appeared at the doorway, letting out similar cries of surprise when they saw the zombie rounding on Naruto, who was backed up in the corner.
"HEY!" Kiba yelled, grabbing the closest thing, which happened to be the toaster, and threw it. It soared over the zombie's head and smashed right above Naruto's. The blond cowered under the shards before turning wide eyes to Kiba.
"WHO'S SIDE ARE YOU ON?" he screeched before letting out a choked cry as the zombie grabbed his shoulders. He pushed against her, barely managing to keep her mouth away from his skin. "HELP!"
Sasuke stepped forwards, brandishing a frying pan. With a growl, he swung it down, striking the zombie on the back of the head once, twice, three times before she collapsed, head bleeding profusely.
Naruto cringed and made a whine of disgust as he pushed her away and stumbled over to the others. Together, they stared down at the corpse, breathing heavily and eyes wide.
"...Oh my God..." Naruto whispered, looking up at Sasuke. "...You killed Kelly!" he whimpered.
Kiba gasped and turned to Sasuke. "You bastard!"
Sasuke looked between them, confusion on his face. "What? Who's Kelly?"
Kiba looked down at the zombie-woman sadly. "She was Naruto's hot house-keeper," he said, and sighed in remorse. "I'm going to miss her boobs. They were so nice," he mumbled.
Naruto nodded slightly in agreement. "And she made good food. Really good food," he added sadly.
Sasuke looked at the two of them, watching as they sniffled and stared down at the corpse. After a minute he sighed irritably.
"Ladies, if you're quite done, I think it's time we move on. Obviously this place isn't as safe as we'd thought, and we should find somewhere safer!" he snapped.
The other two broke out of their mourning and nodded. "Where do you suggest?" Naruto asked nervously.
Sasuke glared at him. "Dobe, I haven't lived in Konoha for three years! I don't remember where everything is!" he growled.
Naruto gulped, looking embarrassed. Kiba snapped his fingers. "I know where to go!" he said cheerfully. When the others were looking at him, he grinned. "Let's go to Gaara's pub!"
Naruto blinked. "Are you insane? That's three blocks from here!"
"Yeah, but we can cut through the backyards and take the shortcut through the Skate Park!" Kiba encouraged.
Sasuke stared at the two of them. "Hello?" he called, and when he had their attention, he frowned. "Why is going to Gaara's pub a good idea?" he asked. From what he remembered, Sabakuno Gaara was a psychotic, depressed, pale-skinned, eyebrow-less guy who had a fetish for sharp objects and sandcastles.
Definitely not the safest sounding bet in Sasuke's book.
Naruto grinned. "Gaara's pub is like a fortress. The doors are sooo thick that he has these big, burly guys to open and close them. Also, as one would expect from Gaara, he's got a bunch of weapons on display that we could use. And on top of that, he's got supplies of food and water, so we'll be able to survive for a while," Naruto explained.
Sasuke had to admit, it sounded promising. "And it's three blocks from here?" he asked.
Kiba and Naruto nodded. "Yeah, and if we take the back ways, we can avoid the street hordes. I'm sure we could sneak through," Kiba insisted.
Sasuke crossed his arms to think, his eyes slipping closed.
They stood that way for a few minutes before the raven nodded and opened his eyes. "Alright, it sounds like a-OH MY GOD!" he grabbed the other two and yanked them towards him. As soon as they were out of the way, the window behind them shattered as several zombies pressed against it and tried to get through.
Naruto cried out as his jacket was caught. "Why is it always me?" he yelled angrily, before shedding the jacket to escape. He followed the other two to the window Kiba had climbed through. The fire escape was there, and they agreed it was the best way down, considering that in order to reach the kitchen window, one needed to be near the front door.
"Wait! Naruto, do you have any large blunt objects we can use as weapons?" Sasuke asked.
"Uh...I..I have our old baseball bats from school," The blond said, trying to think.
"Uh...uh...Oh! There's my dad's old golf club!"
"Great. Go and get them. If we do run into trouble, we'll need something to hit these bastards with," Sasuke said.
Naruto nodded and quickly ran to his room, pulling open his cupboard and digging around until he found the bats and the case he kept the club in. Once he'd gathered them he ran back out. Sasuke took a bat and Kiba took the golf club. Naruto clenched his hands around his own metal bat tightly.
"Okay...Let's go," Sasuke said, slipping out the window, careful of any broken glass shards.
Naruto followed him and Kiba was right behind. The three made their way down the metal stairs until they were able to jump to the ground.
As soon as Sasuke landed, a nearby zombie turned to him, groaning.
Sasuke just scowled and swung the bat. It collided against the zombie's head, and a resounded snap sounded before the zombie collapsed.
Kiba sidled up beside him, staring at the re-killed body. "Dude...are you, like, an assassin wherever you live now or something?" he asked suspiciously.
Sasuke smirked. "Hn."
The raven walked ahead, down a back alley. Naruto and Kiba stood side by side at the entrance, watching him go before Kiba leant over to whisper to the blond.
"I never understood his language, but you did. Was that a yes or a no?" he asked.
Naruto sighed. "Just let it go. You're safer that way," he murmured before moving after the raven. Kiba swallowed and nodded as he followed.
"So it was a yes," he mumbled to himself.
The three made their way down the alley quietly, passing a few garden gates. They heard someone scream from the other side of one door, and all three cringed when the scream became a garbled, wet cry. They hurried on past, keeping their eyes peeled for any zombies.
Naruto turned a corner, having taken the lead and paused. "Hang on!" he hissed, his eyes darting around. Slowly, he took in the surrounding garden and frowned. "Kiba...isn't this Sakura and Ino's house?" he asked.
Kiba came up behind him, looking around. He nodded. "Why, I do believe it is."
Naruto cursed and immediately started for the door, but Sasuke grabbed his shoulder.
"The hell are you doing?" the raven snapped.
"We need to check on them! They can come with us!" Naruto hissed, struggling out of his grip.
"We can't afford to waste time!"
"They're my friends!" Naruto snapped before he shoved Sasuke's hand off and ran to the house. The back door was a glass sliding door. He grabbed the handle and pulled, and sighed with relief when he felt it was locked.
Carefully, he knocked on the glass.
"Sakura-chan! Ino?" he called softly.
He could see inside, and the house looked rather normal on the inside. He knocked again, waiting. Kiba and Sasuke were standing behind him, keeping a look out.
"They're obviously not there or not answering. Let's just go!" Sasuke hissed, eyes tracing over the area.
"No! Not until I know for sure, Teme!" Naruto snapped at him. He turned back to the glass and blinked. "Hey! Hey Ino! Sakura-chan!" he called.
The two girls were inside, peering around the corner of the T.V. Their eyes widened before they both rushed to the door and unlocked it, pulling it open.
Naruto was immediately engulfed in a hug from both girls as they clung to him.
"Oh my God, Naruto! I'm so glad to see you alive!" Sakura said.
"Yeah! We were so worried you'd gotten eaten!" Ino whimpered, squeezing the blonds' chest tightly.
Naruto returned their hugs, feeling relief that his friends were okay. "I'm fine. We're fine. I'm so glad you two are okay!" he said.
Ino and Sakura stepped back, only now noticing the other two.
"Kiba!" Sakura cried, smiling. "You're okay!"
Kiba nodded, grinning and letting the golf club rest on his shoulder. "Of course I am."
Ino's eyes travelled to the third man, and they widened. "Holy...is that Sasuke?" she asked incredulously.
Sasuke nodded his hello to the two shocked girls. "Yo."
"Wow! You're back in Konoha?"
"It's good to see you, Sasuke-kun," Sakura said, smiling at him.
"Hn." Sasuke looked around. "Can we go now? It's not wise to linger outside for too long," he said to Naruto.
Naruto nodded, turning to the girls. "You want to come with us? We're going to Gaara's pub. It'll be safe there," he said, grinning.
Sakura and Ino exchanged nervous glances.
"...Are you sure? I mean...the news reporter said we should stay at home," Sakura said hesitantly. Ino nodded, wringing her hands together.
"Well that's what we'd planned, but the zombies broke my window and were climbing through. I don't think you're doors are quite strong enough to hold them out," Naruto said, frowning.
"Dobe! Duck!" Sasuke suddenly yelled, darting forward. Naruto turned his head to the right and only just managed to duck as a bloodied hand swiped the air. He rolled away while Ino and Sakura grabbed onto each other in fear. Kiba took a moment to admire the sight of their boobs squishing together.
The zombie was on the other side of the fence, sticking its arm through a hole in the wood and swiping. There was an ominous creak and the fence started to snap away, the zombie getting closer.
Kiba-snapping out of his perverted staring-darted forwards and swung the golf club down. It hit the zombie's elbow and a loud crack was heard before the limb went limp. The girls made identical sounds of disgust while Naruto and Sasuke cheered. Kiba grinned as the zombie scurried away.
"Ha! Take that, you undead bastard!" he danced around, celebrating his victory when the fence fell away, revealing a rather large horde all staring at Kiba. The brunet froze halfway through a victory jumping-jack, his mouth dropping open as he stared at the large group of undead.
Behind him, Naruto and the others were gaping in horror before Ino and Sakura reached out, grabbing Sasuke and Naruto and yanking them into the house. "Kiba come on!" Sakura shrieked.
"Shit!" Kiba spun around and sprinted to them, the zombies slowly moving into action. Kiba darted into the house and the four of them set about blocking the door with everything they could. Ino and Sakura were running around, grabbing everything they could while calling out what they grabbed as they handed it to the boys, who stacked it up.
Everyone turned to stare at Ino, who shrugged and held the book out. "What? It's heavy!"
Sasuke shook his head sadly. "Women," He mumbled.
"So, what are we going to do now? That barricade won't hold them forever," Naruto asked nervously.
"We find another way out and keep heading towards Gaara's," Sasuke said, already moving to peer out the windows carefully. "It's towards the North, right?" he asked, and Kiba nodded. Sasuke continued to peer out the windows, obviously plotting something.
"Naruto! You're bleeding!" Sakura's voice said, causing everyone to snap their heads towards the blond. Naruto blinked looking down at himself and crying out when he saw a large red stain near his stomach. Panicking, he tore his shirt off only to blink when he saw he was unharmed.
"Huh?" he asked, looking at the stain on his shirt and to his healthy, tattooed stomach.
"It must be a stain from earlier. Maybe Kelly put it there?" Kiba suggested.
Naruto frowned, looking at his shirt. "I can't wear this now! It feels...wrong," he said.
Sasuke stared at him for a long time before Ino waved her hand in front of his face.
Sasuke started, blinking and looking around. "Huh? Oh, uh..." he cleared his throat and turned back to the window. "If you don't want to wear it, just leave it, Dobe," He said.
"I can't do that! If a zombie grabs me, I don't want to get its...zombie cooties on my bare skin!" the blond argued.
"Oh! I think I've got one of Lee's shirts that he forgot! Hang on!" Sakura said, quickly disappearing down the hall. Soon she returned holding a shirt, which she thrust out to Naruto. "Here, wear this."
Naruto took the shirt and pulled it open, his eyes bugging in horror. Kiba snorted into his fist and Sasuke's lips curled in disgust. Naruto began to stammer stupidly.
"...This goes against everything I believe in." Naruto murmured.
After a short argument in the house, they'd found a clear path to head down. Naruto was trailing behind Sasuke, wearing the obnoxiously bright green shirt with a large yellow smiley face on the front and a large thumb up on the back. On both sides, the word 'YOUTH' was printed in bold yellow.
Sasuke scoffed ahead. "You didn't want to go shirtless," he sneered. Naruto growled.
"I told you why! Why the hell do you seem to want me to go shirtless so bad?" he snapped.
Sasuke kept quiet.
They had managed to avoid any conflict but for an elderly zombie that they easily beat into submission. Sakura and Ino were armed with a frying pan and an encyclopaedia. They had proved to be effective weapons.
They were creeping through a park now, looking around constantly. When they reached the children's play area, Sasuke froze, his eyes locked on something squirming on the ground.
Naruto looked over his shoulder, the other three doing the same.
All of them stared at the young toddler on the floor. It was squirming around, its fingers bloodied and its mouth smeared red. A foot away, a dead woman was lying on the floor, her mouth open in a scream and a large chunk of her neck missing.
Sasuke frowned down at the child when its eyes turned to them. It let out a gurgle before starting to crawl towards them, mouth gaping and blood smearing along the floor behind it.
"That is so fucked up," Naruto breathed from behind the raven, and Sasuke nodded in agreement.
"Hang on, I'll take care of it," Kiba said suddenly, stepping forward.
"What? We can just walk right past. It's not a threat to us," Naruto said, but Kiba was already standing near the zombie baby. The brunet held the golf club as if he was on an actual course, moving it back and forth slightly while the baby reached for his leg. Suddenly, he swung his arms high.
A strong swing and everyone's heads turned to watch as the baby went soaring through the air until it disappeared over some trees nearby, making a strange, giggling gurgle as it went. Kiba stood with his legs apart, hand shielding his eyes from a nonexistent sunbeam while he grinned.
"I've always wanted to try that," he admitted.
The girls stared at him in horror while Naruto shook his head and Sasuke smirked.
"Come on, let's keep moving," The raven said, continuing while the others followed.
They reached the skate park with little incident but for a group of teens trying to tear Sasuke apart. They'd managed to kill those zombies when Ino started shrieking and walloping all of them so hard on the head with her encyclopaedia that the zombies crumpled to the ground before Sakura took care of the rest, repeatedly smacking them on the head.
By the end, the boys had stood back, watching in awe and slight fear as the two girls annihilated the group of zombies.
Sakura wiped her forehead, smearing some zombie blood across it. "Are we nearly there?" she asked, looking around the skate park.
Naruto and Kiba nodded and the group began making their way through the seemingly deserted skate park.
Naruto was leading and he rounded the corner only to see blank eyes. He screamed and started to hit the thing over and over. It was only when a hand grabbed his bat, stopping him did he hear the voice talking.
"Ow! Fucking hell, what is wrong with you?" the 'zombie' snarled.
Naruto blinked, breathing heavily and looking at the 'zombie' properly. "...Neji?"
Neji nodded, roughly shoving Naruto's bat away from him and nursing his head. "What the hell Naruto?" he snapped.
"I'm sorry!" Naruto said, looking guilty. "I thought you were a zombie! You know, you're eyes are all blank like theirs. Sorry."
Neji sighed while the others crowded around. "Have you guys seen Hinata? She was with me until a moment ago, and I've been searching for her," Neji asked, finally looking nervous.
Kiba gaped. "Hinata's lost? YOU LOST HINATA?" he roared. Neji nodded and Kiba turned around. "HINA-BABY! KIBA'S COMIN' FOR YA!" he yelled. Before he could run off into the distance, Sasuke reached out and grabbed him by the collar of his shirt, holding him back.
"You idiot! Keep quiet or else you'll draw all the zombies here!" he hissed angrily. Kiba squirmed in his grip.
"But Hinata is—"
"We'll find her!" Naruto piped up. Sasuke sent him an annoyed glare, still holding back the struggling brunet.
"Dobe, if we keep stopping to pick up more and more people, we'll never make it there!" he snapped.
Naruto scowled, stomping closer and pointing a finger in Sasuke's face. "Look here, Uchiha, I'm real glad to see you and all, and it's great that you saved me a few times and all that, but these people are my friends and I'm not going to leave them when they could be in danger! Gaara's pub isn't going anywhere, so it's fine if we take a detour or two if it means we can save more lives!"
Sasuke snarled at the finger in his face, and opened his mouth to argue. However, as he did his fingers clenched around...nothing.
His head snapped to the side. "...Where's Kiba?" he asked, glaring at his empty hand.
Everyone else turned to the spot Kiba had been moments ago, only to find him missing.
"OH GOD HE'S BEEN EATEN!" Ino wailed, sobbing into Sakura's chest. Sasuke hissed, his eyes darting around.
"No, he went looking for that girl, Hishima."
"It's 'Hinata'," the others said in unison, surrounding the raven. Sasuke flinched under their multiple gazes, scowling.
"Alright, Hinata, whatever. Anyway, he couldn't have gotten far. And since someone refuses to just leave, we'll have to find him."
Naruto huffed, crossing his arms and pouting. "Seriously, which zombie shoved a severed limb up your asshole?" he muttered angrily.
"What was that?" Sasuke hissed, and Naruto donned an innocent face.
"Nothing at all."
The raven scowled, but let it go, instead leading the others in the direction he assumed Kiba had vanished into.
After several minutes of sneaking around like amateur spies in an old James Bond film...
"That was Kiba!" Sakura gasped, and Sasuke cursed, running ahead with Naruto towards the sound.
They ran around a large half pipe to see Kiba surrounded by a group of zombies wearing helmets, all bloody and groaning as they tried to reach him on top of a pole. Kiba had his legs wrapped around the pole, constantly pulling himself back up every time he slipped down, his legs sticking out on occasion like an exotic dancer.
"Oh thank God! Help me guys!" Kiba cried, spinning around the pole to avoid getting his ankle bitten off.
Naruto darted forwards, taking a leap only to cry out as the floor literally zoomed out from under him. He'd stood on a stray skateboard.
While the object shot across the park, knocking into one of the zombies and making it stare blankly down at it, Sasuke was unable to avoid the falling blond and both men ended up on the floor, groaning in pain.
"You dobe!" Sasuke snapped, wincing as he pulled his arm out from under Naruto's back. The blond whined softly.
"I can't see straight!" he moaned, his blue eyes trying to refocus. He saw a peachy blob mixed with flowing brown appear and reached up, a look of awe on his face. "Is that you, Jesus?"
"No you dumbass, it's me!" Neji scoffed, slapping the boy across the face. Naruto coughed, his vision clearing and his cheek stinging.
"Ow! What the hell Neji?"
"A LITTE HELP?.!" Kiba shrieked, shaking his leg to try and throw off a bloody hand.
Sasuke hissed, trying to push Naruto off of him. He only ended up succeeding in sitting up with Naruto's back to his chest, the blond resting between his legs. Sasuke glared through blond tresses while Naruto blinked, confused as to why he was suddenly upright instead of on his back.
Kiba cried out when his hands slipped and he landed amongst the group of undead, his eyes bulging in fear. Ino and Sakura screamed, seeming to have forgotten the heavy items they were holding as they clutched onto each other, cheeks mashed together and eyes wide. One zombie stared at their boobs squished together.
Sasuke and Naruto struggled to get up while Neji stood rather uselessly to the side, not having a weapon.
"OH GOD, PLEASE DON'T EAT ME!" Kiba screamed, clutching his hands to his chest like a woman.
Just then, there was another voice giving a loud, shaky war cry. Everyone's heads turned to see a woman with long raven hair running full speed towards the zombies, wielding what looked like a broken stop sign in her hands.
"HYAAAH!" she screamed, swinging the pole down. The zombie nearest her crumpled to the ground, its skull seeming to split into two even as she swung again and sent another zombie skidding across the ground.
One by one, she whacked the zombies away from the man on the ground until they were lying still on the surrounding gravel. The woman breathed heavily, eyes wide as she surveyed each zombie in turn to make sure they were really down for good before she made her way to the man on the ground.
"Kiba-kun! Are you alright?" she said.
Kiba blinked at her before his eyes watered up a bit and he clung onto the woman, howling.
"HINATA! I'M SO GLAD YOUR ALRIGHT I WAS SO WORRIED AND THEN THE ZOMBIES CAME OUTTA NOWHERE AND I WAS SCARED AND THEN THOSE JERKS WEREN'T HELPING AND-"
As Kiba continued to bawl his misfortune, Hinata awkwardly patted his back in a hug, looking towards the rest of the group in confusion.
"Hinata! Where did you run off to?" Neji scolded, coming closer and helping her lift a sniffling Kiba up. Hinata sighed.
"I thought I heard a survivor calling for help, but I was too late. She got eaten," Hinata explained sadly, her eyes downcast.
Naruto made a sympathetic noise, and placed a hand on the girl's shoulder. "You tried, Hinata. There was nothing more you could have done," he assured, and Hinata nodded.
Sasuke blinked, only now realizing exactly who this girl was. Hyuuga Hinata, Neji's little cousin. She had certainly changed since he last saw her. He remembered her as being rather chubby, with short hair, a permanent blush on her face and a horrible stutter. The woman before him was shapely, well endowed, long haired and seemed rather confident.
Change was inevitable, he supposed.
"Not to interrupt this sympathy fest, but we should keep moving," he said, resting his bat on his shoulder and glancing around to make sure there were no zombies inching towards them.
The rest of the group nodded, Hinata and Sasuke making short introductions and explanations before they went on their way.
They reached the last back garden before the street where Gaara's pub was located. They took the time to rest, and make more plans. Neji had managed to find a shovel during their travels, and had proved rather useful with it by saving Ino and Sakura from a rather fat zombie that tried to eat their arms.
Currently, they were in a large backyard that was filled with children's toys and playthings as well as a blood spatter or two. Ino and Sakura sat down on a trampoline, leaning against each other and taking a breath. Neji, Hinata and Kiba were on the ground, eyes occasionally glancing around.
Sasuke and Naruto were standing, deciding how to get to Gaara's pub.
"We could climb over the fence?" Naruto suggested softly, running a hand over his stomach absently. Sasuke hummed, glancing towards the fence sceptically.
"It would be wise to check first. I'll give you a boost so you can just see over and see how many there are," he said softly and Naruto nodded his agreement. The two made their way to the fence, and Sasuke held his hands together. Naruto grabbed his shoulders and climbed on, quickly grabbing the fence to help pull himself up slightly while Sasuke kept him up.
Sasuke gritted his teeth against the weight, a vein showing in his forehead from the effort. He wasn't very unfit, but Naruto wasn't exactly a fairy princess. The guy weighed a ton!
"Dobe-" Sasuke couldn't say more before Naruto practically dropped himself down, causing Sasuke to grunt as he was forced to his knees. Naruto knelt before him, his face pale. Sasuke eyed him warily.
"Is it clear?" he asked softly.
"How many?" Apprehension in there...
"Lots." A crack in the voice...
Naruto swallowed thickly. "As in 'the ground isn't visible' lots."
Sasuke frowned unhappily. "That's bad."
"Yes...yes it is."
"What should we do now?"
Naruto leant back on his heels, biting his lip as he tried to think of a way to get around the ocean of zombies blocking their path. Sasuke was much the same, his eyes staring blankly at the fence wall as he tried to think of a way to get passed.
Suddenly, Ino spoke up. "Hey, look up there!" she said, pointing towards the roof of the house.
Everyone looked up and saw there was a large wire running close to the roof of the house. Sasuke stood up, following the wire with his eyes. He paused when he noticed that it ran directly over the pub.
Everyone around easily saw the small light bulb go off in the raven's head.
"Alright, here's what we'll do!" Sasuke said, turning to huddle with the others. Before he could start, they heard a loud caw and turned to see several birds on the wires. For a moment, they stared at a single bird that flew lower towards the crowd of zombies on the other side. Naruto frowned when the bird landed peacefully.
"Why aren't they trying to eat it?" he asked and the others shrugged.
"Maybe they don't like birds?" Kiba suggested softly, not sure of the answer. The others nodded in agreement, not having any better suggestions.
"Anyway, as I was saying," Sasuke leant forwards. "Here's the plan..."
"Dumbest fucking plan I have ever heard!" Naruto grumbled, his face flushed red.
"Shut up Dobe!" Sasuke grunted, panting slightly as he slid his hands forward. Naruto hissed at him angrily but a prod to his backside shut him up.
"Hurry up you two!" Neji hissed back, before turning his attention to the front again.
Naruto continued to grumble under his breath as he moved.
Below them, the large swarm of zombies writhed and moved about the streets, unaware of their presence as they shimmied along the thick wire leading to the pub. Hinata and the girls had gone first, then Kiba and Neji and finally Sasuke and Naruto.
So far, the girls had made it to the roof of the pub, and were making sure that the rope stayed up while Kiba finished his journey and joined them.
Naruto looked down, seeing the multiple undead creatures and swallowed thickly.
"This was such a bad idea..." he whined to himself. "If this rope snaps we're doomed!"
Sasuke growled in his throat as he reached the roof of the pub and climbed down. Due to all his whining, Naruto was further behind the rest of them.
"Move it Dobe!" he snapped.
Naruto looked up, opening his mouth to retort when there was a loud creak. No one had time to blink before the cable upon which the blond was hanging suddenly sunk several feet.
"Naruto!" the others cried, shock and horror twisting their faces. Naruto, for his part, had started to panic and make odd little whimpering sounds as he plummeted towards the zombie horde.
The cable suddenly snapped tight and Naruto jerked harshly, looking up with wide eyes to see Sasuke holding onto the other end, face staining red as he struggled to hold the blond up.
His attention was soon pulled to zombies below him when he realized they were heading towards him. As they approached and the others panicked, Naruto had an idea.
Unsurely, he let his arms drop and folded his elbows to form make-shift wings. Hoping to God and any other deity out there that his plan would work, he opened his mouth.
The zombies stopped, hands raised and inches from his face. Naruto was trembling but he slowly flapped his 'wings' and tried again.
"Caw! Caw caw!"
Silence stretched on for what had to be the longest minute of the blond's life before the zombies slowly began to turn away, no interest in the large, fleshy 'bird' on the wire.
Letting out a relieved huff of breath, Naruto held the spot over his heart. "Oh thank God-er-I mean caw!" he amended quickly, eyes shifting from left to right.
Slowly, Sasuke was able to pull up the rope with Kiba and Neji's help. As soon as Naruto was within reach, the raven snatched him up and yanked him onto the roof, cradling him close and glaring down at the zombies.
"You stupid, dumbass! Why didn't you just move faster like the rest of us!.?" Sasuke was snarling into his ear, and Naruto struggled to stammer out a response when Sasuke was practically crushing him in his hold and dragging him away from the edge of the roof.
"Sasu...ke...I can't...breathe!" Naruto wheezed, trying to push the raven away. Sasuke growled, letting go but keeping his hand wrapped firmly around Naruto's upper arm.
Naruto coughed a bit, cheeks flushing red at the worried faces of his friends.
"Sorry..." he mumbled and then let out an 'Ack!' when he was attacked by Ino and Sakura who smothered him between them in hugs and soft sniffles.
"We thought you were going to die!"
Naruto struggled against their hold, his face buried between their chests. Honestly, he was starting to think he'd have a better chance of survival if he had fallen into the zombie hordes. His arms flailed wildly as he tried to breathe from between Mount Busty and the Rolling Hills.
"Come on, let the idiot breathe," Neji finally said, tapping the girls on the shoulder. They gasped and proceeded to release him after which he took deep breaths and moved to stand behind Sasuke for safety from their worried clutches.
"L-Let's just get inside okay?" he said weakly and Sasuke nodded.
"Right, let's go."
After a minute of searching, Hinata found an open window on the second floor of the pub and with careful movements, everyone managed to get inside.
The pub was quiet, the upstairs area more of a staff lounge than anything. Cautiously, Sasuke led the way into the hallway, keeping his eyes and ears peeled for any dangers. The group made their way towards the stairs, clutching their weapons close. Naruto almost had a heart attack when a floorboard creaked under his foot, since he was behind the group and everyone had spun around with raised weapons ready to beat him into oblivion.
"I wonder where Gaara is?" Sakura whispered softly as they snuck down the stairs, looking out into the empty bar below. The small tables held several empty beer glasses, and some chairs were tucked away while others looked like they had been occupied a while ago. It was somehow disconcerting.
"I remember Kankurou saying that they were heading up their grandma's house this week," Kiba mumbled, walking over to the bar and peering over the edge. "There's no one here at all!"
"Hn. Well, that's a good thing," Sasuke said, putting his bat down onto a table and leaning against it. The others saw the way he seemed to let his muscles relax. It was only then that they all realized just how tense and stiff they really were. Walking through hordes of zombies was enough to make anyone tense. Ino and Sakura started to give each other massages to relax and Neji and Hinata started to do yoga in a corner. Kiba enthusiastically joined in, often falling on his face for some of the moods or letting out low groans of pain when he was stretched too far.
Naruto moved his shoulders around, trying to work out the tension but he couldn't get it quite right. Suddenly a hand fell onto his shoulder, a thumb pressing against a knot. He let out a groan when it started to rub.
"Here, let me," he heard Sasuke say and nodded. Sasuke led him to a seat and then began to massage his shoulders in earnest, working out the knots and easing the muscles. Sasuke's hands were like magic on his muscles, and he let out an appreciative groan.
"Duuuude," he sighed, letting his head fall back to offer a lazy grin to the man behind him, "that was awesome. Thanks!"
Sasuke smirked, flexing his fingers. "Hn. No problem."
"Let me do you now!" Naruto said cheerfully, sitting up and pushing Sasuke into a chair while the man was still stunned by his wording.
"Just chill, relax, vegetate and otherwise put yourself at ease," Naruto interrupted, planting his hands firmly on Sasuke's shoulders. "I totally got this."
Sasuke nodded slowly, not sure if he was going to enjoy the massa-
"Aaaaah," he groaned, his eyes sliding closed as Naruto's fingers worked out a particularly tense knot. Naruto grinned in triumph behind him, continuing his massage with glee and smirking every time Sasuke made an appreciative noise against his will. By the time he was finishing up, Sasuke was slumping in his seat, his face relaxed.
"Damn...who knew a dobe could give good massages?" he mumbled and Naruto pinched his shoulder.
"Hey, I'm not a dobe, you teme," he grumbled but chuckled along with Sasuke. "How long do you think we'll be stuck here?" he asked quietly so that only Sasuke could hear. The raven went silent for a moment, thinking.
"I don't know. We'll keep checking the outside to see how it looks but...it might take a few hours to a few days; maybe even more," he replied honestly and equally quiet.
Naruto nodded, looking sad. "Yeah...I hope we can last."
Naruto had to smile at the firm tone Sasuke used and he gave one last squeeze to the man's shoulders.
"GAH!" Sasuke jolted upright, his head twitching while his shoulder jerked upwards. "Dead arm! Dead arm! Dammit Naruto!" he cried. Both Naruto and Kiba burst out laughing while the girls giggled into their hands. Neji just shook his head and continued to mediate with his legs pulled up and crossed behind his head.
Sasuke grumbled curses under his breath while he tried to get his arm to cooperate again while Naruto gasped an apology through his laughing. Kiba ended up falling flat onto his face after his laughter made him lose balance and Hinata immediately tried to help him up. It was slightly difficult since she was bent in two.
Time passed at a snail's pace, the group talking quietly about whatever they could think of. They discussed sports, the weather, food, anything. A long time was spent talking about what had happened in everyone's lives since Sasuke had left Konoha.
"So yeah, after my sister got married to Kankurou I've become decently good friends with Gaara," Kiba continued, waving his hand flippantly around the bar. "Although, he still favours Naruto over everyone but at least he doesn't threaten to slice my limbs off, shove them in a blender and then feed them to me through a crazy straw anymore." Everyone shuddered at the imagery.
Sasuke nodded, his head resting on his hands while his elbows were on the table. He turned and raised an eyebrow at Ino and Sakura who just smiled.
"So what about you two? You're living together?" he prompted. Ino laughed while Sakura fiddled with some of her hair.
"Yeah. About a year after you left there was a huge dance contest in Konoha. Sakura and I came up with a dance routine and we ended up winning. The prize money was quite a lot, but it was an odd number. We couldn't figure out how to split it evenly without someone getting more. We must've fought over it for about three months!" Ino explained, chuckling at the memory.
"Yeah it was three months," Sakura agreed before smiling. "However, eventually our very good friend came up with a suggestion," she continued with a grin towards Naruto. Sasuke also turned his attention to the blond, an eyebrow rising in surprise that the blond had come up with a suggestion that apparently worked.
"Naruto suggested that, since we're best friends and we both work in the same salon, as well as the fact we both earned the prize money, why don't we use some of the money to buy a house and then split the leftovers," Sakura explained, leaning against the table. "We took his advice and bought our house for a nice price. Then we split the rest and did with it what we wanted."
"As for relationships and such, I'm still a single lady while Sakura's starting to hit it off with Lee!" Ino continued, ignoring the embarrassed shove she received from her friend. "Of course, I was surprised. After all, I never imagined pink and green would look that good together."
There were a few chuckles around the table and Sasuke finally turned his gaze onto Naruto.
"And what about you, Dobe? Have you accomplished anything?" he asked lazily, smirking when Naruto gave him a glare.
"As a matter of fact, I have!" Naruto said proudly, leaning across the table. "I learned to play guitar, I finished college with high marks, and I used to work at one of the leading hotel chains!"
"As what, a bell boy?" Sasuke asked in amusement, snickering when Naruto growled.
"As a manager, you stupid prick," he hissed before crossing his arms and smiling smugly. "I've got a shitload of cash saved up in my account that I'm saving for something special," he announced. Everyone smiled until Naruto's grin faded, replaced with a look of sadness. "At least, I was...I'm not so sure what's going to happen now," he said, looking towards the covered windows.
The cheery mood withered and died like a flower that had been sat on by a large warthog with gas-issues. Everyone was thinking about the horrors that lay outside the pub they were sheltering in and their family members or friends.
"S-so Sasuke, what about you?" Kiba asked to break the silence, motioning to the confused raven. "What's happened in your life since you left Konoha?"
Sasuke leant on his elbows, catching the eyes of everyone as they turned to him curiously. He could feel Naruto's sharp gaze and knew the blond was the most curious of all.
"Hn. After my family moved to Sound, my father started up a new business in development and planning. It soon sky-rocketed and we were making tons of money. My older brother and I were going to inherit the company once our father retires and share it out between us, duty-wise. A year ago, my mother wanted to move back here, so she and my father went ahead while my brother and I stayed in Sound. I came back for a visit since Itachi gave me some vacation time."
Naruto chuckled, his eyes looking into space blankly. "I remember Itachi," he mumbled nostalgically. Suddenly his face twisted into a snarl and in a dark, gravelly voice he said "I hate Itachi."
Sasuke covered his mouth to stop his laughter. The shift in tone and mood had been so quick!
"Why?" Sakura asked interestedly, leaning closer. "What did Itachi-kun do?"
Naruto scoffed. "You mean aside from the time he took my mattress while I was sleeping on it and threw it in a pool," he began and Sasuke didn't stop his bark of laughter.
"I remember that!" he snorted while Naruto glared and continued on.
"Or the time he put mud in my school socks..."
"I remember that too. You squealed like a girl."
"Or the time that he switch my back-pack with Kiba's and I got in trouble for the porn that was stashed inside..."
"So that's where my magazines went!" Kiba cried, only to blush heavily when everyone turned to him with raised eyebrows. He sunk back into his seat, tapping his fingers on the table. "I'm not here; just pretend I'm a piece of lint," he mumbled.
"Hn. That won't be too hard," Neji said absently, smirking when Kiba glared at him.
Sasuke was still snickering at the memories of his brother's pranks on Naruto. Itachi had been their senior when they were still juniors, and Sasuke and Naruto had been on 'friend' terms to some extent. Itachi had taken some form of a thrill from pranking the blond. Sasuke guessed it was because Naruto always had brilliant reactions.
Naruto gave him a glare as he said "Good memories" and then a smirk carved its way on the tan visage. "Good memories? You're right! After all, I remember the time Itachi hung your personified boxers on the school flag post," Naruto said and Sasuke froze, his skin paling as the others leaned in closer, eager to hear more.
"And there was that time that he put bubble wrap on the bottom of your shoes just before you went into the library for your study session with all the top-graders!"
Stifled laughter was surrounding Sasuke as he clenched his jaw, remembering the times all too well.
"Oh, and he tinkered with your iPod so that it wouldn't work on headphones and everyone heard you playing ABBA when you didn't realize it!"
"He put those songs on! It was a trap!" Sasuke said, cheeks flaming red when Kiba started to howl behind his hands and Ino and Sakura were giggling madly behind each other's hands.
"And," Naruto grinned evilly, eyes glinting, "my personal favourite was when he made one hundred copies of a photo of you when you were a baby, lying naked on a towel surrounded by plush toys and you were grinning at the camera with only one tooth, and he stuck them on every news board in the school during the festival!"
Everyone began to howl with laughter while Sasuke cursed loudly.
"I hate Itachi!" he grumbled and Naruto laughed, patting him on the back.
"Ah, he's an evil spawn of the devil who was born to torture innocent souls...what're you going do, right?" he said consolingly and Sasuke nodded in agreement.
"That's so fun—"
Ino's sentence was cut off when a loud banging erupted. Everyone jumped a mile, their heads snapping around to the door. Another bang sounded and they gasped in horror at seeing the door jolt.
"They're trying to get in! They know we're in here!" Sakura whimpered, clutching Ino tightly while they stared in horror at the shaking door.
"Shit! Block the door!" Sasuke ordered, rushing out of his seat to press against the door as it jolted violently again. Naruto ran to his side, helping him while Kiba and Neji started to drag tables and chairs to them, trying to barricade the door.
There was the sound of glass shattering and they all looked to see a window had been smashed, dead and decaying hands sliding through and swiping through the air while moans filled the air. Ino and Sakura screamed in terror, avoiding the hands as they ran past to stand at the bar, clutching each other tightly. Hinata grabbed a menu, swatting at the hands repeatedly while she called for some kind of barricade. Kiba darted to aid her, dragging a blackboard that held the day's specials and together they pushed it against the window, crushing a few hands in the process. He looked around for a weapon and let out a cry of horror when he noticed that all the weapons Gaara had collected had been taken down.
Naruto let out a grunt as the door he was pushing against suddenly jolted forward, opening slightly.
And that brought them to their current situation.
Sasuke was pressing against the door as hard as he could; trying to stop the growing hordes outside from reaching them. Naruto was doing much the same, yelling at Kiba to hurry up once more. The groans and moans of the monsters outside were becoming deafening and Naruto really couldn't believe that the world was ending on a Saturday. He'd been looking forward to the weekend, and now it was all gone to shit because the zombie apocalypse decided it was tired of waiting and busted out.
Stupid apocalypse, ruining his weekend.
"The door's not going to hold them much longer!" Sasuke grunted even as Kiba shoved another table. His eyes swivelled around the bar and locked onto the large counter that separated the selection of liquor from the rest of the bar by a thick and wide counter as well as a reinforced gate at the end. "Get behind the counter! Hurry!" he roared.
Ino, Sakura and Hinata rushed away from the windows and dived behind the bar, knocking over several glasses as they went. Neji shoved one more chair into place before following suit, except he unlatched the door and stepped inside before closing it again.
Kiba took a running leap, forward flipping over the counter only to crash land on Neji and end up sprawled on top of the cursing brunet.
"I'm going to kill you Inuzuka!"
Sasuke gave one last shove against the door before he grabbed Naruto's arm and dragged him across the bar in record speed. He picked the blond up and recklessly threw him over the counter before jumping over to follow suit just as the door busted open with a loud crash. Groaning zombies began to drag themselves across the room, bumping into chairs and getting confused for a moment before they went back on track.
Ino and Sakura were holding each other tightly, tears pouring out their eyes as they saw the zombies coming closer. Hinata curled up next to Neji and Kiba curled up next to her, their eyes wide and fearful while Neji's eyes stayed on the small latch door.
Sasuke and Naruto stood a few steps away from the counter, shoulder to shoulder as they watched the dead get closer.
"...This is it, isn't it?" Naruto breathed, eyes wide. Sasuke clenched his fists, trying to find a way out of it but he couldn't.
"...Yeah...I think it is," he mumbled back and without much thought he reached back and grasped Naruto's hand tightly. Blue eyes stared at him in confusion and surprise as he turned to face him and Sasuke shrugged. "I guess now is as good a time as any to admit I've sort of had a man-crush on you for a few years," he admitted, cheeks tinting pink as he absently fiddled with Naruto's fingers.
Naruto blinked, just watching Sasuke but keeping a peripheral watch on the dead hands trying to reach over the counter. It seemed zombies didn't know how to climb over things just yet.
"You've had a man-crush on me?" he asked and Sasuke nodded. Naruto looked at him, then the zombies, then him, and then the zombies, and then Kiba-just because he could-and then Sasuke. "Well...we're probably going to die," he mumbled and Sasuke's grip tightened. "And, I mean, it would be a pity to waste such a fine man-crush."
Sasuke stared at him while Naruto shrugged and scratched his cheek with his free hand. "What are you saying?" he asked, not sure if he and Naruto were on the same page.
The blond chewed on his lip. "Well...Since it's the end of the world and we're pretty much dead...I guess we can just kiss and stuff. I mean, that'd make you happy right? And I'd die a lot happier of everyone was happy, so might as well—"
Sasuke didn't bother letting him finish, instead yanking him forward and attempting to play one-sided Soul-Vampire with the stunned blond. Naruto rolled his eyes at being interrupted so rudely but gave a small shrug and returned the enthusiastic kiss, slinging an arm around Sasuke's neck while the other lazily swung their joined hands.
When they pulled apart with a small pop, Sasuke looked rather content and Naruto looked slightly impressed.
"Not bad kissing Teme," he said with a smile. "If we kept that up, I might just develop a man-crush on you too!"
Sasuke laughed, but the sound was short lived when there was a high pitched, girly scream.
"THEY'RE CLIMBING OVER!" Kiba screeched before screaming again, in the same girly pitch.
Ino and Sakura joined in and even Neji made a few less than masculine sounds.
Sasuke just pulled Naruto closer. "Dobe, I never got to tell you something," he said, squeezing his eyes shut as Naruto hugged him back, trembling against him.
"What is it Teme?" Even Naruto's voice was shaking, showing just how scared of their imminent deaths he was. Hopefully Sasuke could take his mind off of it and make it less horrible.
Sasuke took a deep breath, clutching Naruto to his body like a precious treasure as they heard the soft thuds of zombies starting to climb over the bar counter.
"I'm the one that ate your last pack of cookies when we were fourteen," he admitted in a rush.
"WHAT?!" Naruto yelled, jerking his head back. "You BASTARD! You told me it was Kiba because they were disgusting!"
Sasuke nodded guiltily. "I lied. And they were delicious. That's why I ate your secret stash of them too."
"IT WAS YOU AS WELL? YOU TOLD ME IT WAS A MUTATED NINJA LEPRECHAUN FROM NARNIA!" Naruto roared while his eyes were wide with disbelief. "Has my entire life been a lie, Teme?" he demanded.
Sasuke's eyes looked upwards for a few moments as he hummed in thought.
"Uh...Yeah. Yeah, pretty much. Oh, and my favourite pair of underwear are orange."
"You're one sick and twisted mofo, you know that Sasuke?" Naruto hissed even as he let his head thump against Sasuke's chest. "But...thanks, Teme."
Sasuke smiled as he felt an undead hand start to grab at his shoe. "Hn. Dobe."
There was an ear splitting wail of a siren and everyone let out cries of surprise when red and blue lights started to flash outside. The roar of car engines could be heard along with yells from other humans. Then there was gunfire. Lots and lots of gunfire.
"Get down!" Sasuke yelled, pulling Naruto to the floor while the others ducked and covered their heads in fear. Bullets riddled the wall behind them, smashing bottles of liquor and splintering the shelves. Ino and Sakura squealed when a burst bottle of Jack Daniels rained its contents all over them, soaking them with sticky whiskey. Kiba felt liquid splashing onto his head and recognized it as Castle Lager beer. He tilted his head back and gulped it down as it poured onto him before it finally stopped and he lowered his head to Hinata's chest, considerably less panicked and much more content with the situation.
Sasuke had covered Naruto with his body, pinning him to the floor as he buried his face into Naruto's neck when he felt the latter do the same to him. They stayed that way as the gunfire continued above them, shards of wood and glass sprinkling down like icing on a chaotic Christmas cake.
Finally, when the bangs of guns, the shatters of glass and the squelches of zombie brains' being splattered ceased, they looked up cautiously.
"Hello? Are there any survivors in there?" a voice called and it was Kiba who spoke up with a wide grin on his face and a glazed look in his eye.
"Kankurou, my ma-han! Dude, we is like...soooo fucking alive right now!" he slurred, getting to his feet and swaying slightly before hiccupping. "Like...my heart is beating and everything!"
Slowly the others got up, seeing a familiar face watching them curiously amdist a crowd of armed soldiers.
"Kankurou!" Naruto cried in joy and surprise. "What are you doing here?"
The shaggy haired, face-tattooed man grinned. "Well, my little brother, bless him, insisted that some of his goofball friends would go to his pub for refuge. I didn't believe him, but then he gave me the eyes-you know when he does that freaky thing with his pupils and makes one look smaller than the other-and I agreed to come over and search for survivors with my army buddies!" he patted the nearest soldier on the back and received a pleased grin in return from Naruto.
"You have saved our lives! We were about to get torn to bits!" he said, jumping over the bar and enveloping the man into a hug. The others also climbed out-Neji used the door again-and crowded together near the familiar friend. Kiba was whooping with drunken joy at the multiple bodies of zombies. He even hobbled over to one and began to repeatedly crouch over their face in a T-Bag.
"What the hell happened to him?" Kankurou asked, watching the spectacle with amusement even as the girls frowned in disgust.
"Castle Lager happened," Neji explained with distaste and Hinata nodded sadly as Kiba started to rub his ass against another zombie's nose while singing 'You can kiss my ass' in the Barbie Girl tune.
"Well, Gaara's expecting us to be back at the survivor hold-out soon. We're just going to do some more searching and clearing out before he head back. Come get in the jeep with the others we found!" Kankurou said cheerfully and there were cheers from the survivors as they followed him and the soldiers out of the bar, two of them having to drag Kiba out.
As they were climbing up into the jeep where several people were sitting, looking shaken and ragged, Kankurou stopped Sasuke.
"Hey...are you Uchiha Sasuke by any chance?" he asked. Sasuke nodded, eyes wide that Kankurou knew him. While he had somewhat known Gaara, he'd never gotten acquainted with his siblings. Kankurou grinned happily. "Brilliant! Your parents are at the survivor shelter and when they heard I was going out, they practically ordered me to search for you! They'll be glad to know you're alive," he said, patting the stunned raven on the back before ushering him into the jeep.
Naruto smiled as he pulled Sasuke in, seeing the look of shocked joy on his face. "Good to know your family is alright isn't it?" he said and Sasuke just nodded. They sat down in a corner, the others getting comfortable and making small talk with the other survivors and learning more about what's been happening.
Naruto rested his head on Sasuke's shoulder and Sasuke let his head rest atop Naruto's.
"I guess we're going to be alright after all," Sasuke mumbled. Naruto nodded sleepily. Onyx eyes slid down briefly. "Do you...regret it?" he asked hesitantly.
Naruot hummed in question.
Blue eyes slid open, having closed from exhaustion. He looked up, meeting Sasuke's gaze before smiling and leaning up to bump their foreheads together.
"Teme, I don't. Besides...Didn't I say that if you kissed me a few more times, I'd end up man-crushing on you too?" he teased.
Sasuke blinked before smirking predatorily. "Hn. Well in that case..."
And without further ado, he proceeded to make-out with Naruto as the jeep rumbled to a start and they made their way through the town, finding more survivors and killing more zombies. And despite the fact that the dead walked in their town and it was going to be a bitch to clean all the corpses when this whole thing finally did die away...they decided that perhaps the weekend would turn out pretty good after all.
Ahahaa~ *tard laugh*
Did anyone notice the following things:
1. A South Park rip-off.
2. Scenes that were related to, or rip-off's of, parts of the Shaun of the Dead movie. (To anyone who's seen it, they should be fairly obvious.)
3. Kiba only 'killed' one zombie throughout the entire fic.
Well, I hope you all enjoyed this one-shot of pure, undead randomness! ^_^ Reviews would be loved!