Soli Deo gloria
DISCLAIMER: I do NOT own How To Train Your Dragon OR Tangled. Now, those are my two favorite movies, and my twisted brain noticed that the Pub Thugs were kinda like the Vikings, and the Vikings are kinda like the Pub Thugs, and so thus! I came up with this. Prepare for a LOT of silliness!
The Mead Hall served a multitude of purposes. It was a gathering place, full of natural chatter and visiting. It was a restaurant, practically a cafeteria, serving the greasiest stew, fish and the hardest bread this side of the Median of Misery. It was a place that everyone gathered to exchange the latest news and the newest bits of dragon info, but it was also known for one particular purpose.
Most ev'ry weekend and after every hunt, the warrior Vikings would gather around the communal tables of Mead Hall and down a few pints. Of course, the drinking would double and triple when the other neighboring tribes would come over. Stoick, usually the sober and hard-working chieftain, was known for having won many drinking contests.
Hiccup and his fellow trainees had been allowed to start drinking when they had begun dragon training. The three other guys and Ruffnut always liked to gather and talk needlessly over a mug of ale or, as the Mead Hall was named for, a cup of fresh mead. The Hall's particular brew was that of honey and water fermented with blackcurrants named black mead, but as the Vikings were a people of few words, they just called it mead.
On this particular late evening, the cold winds of the north were blowing through the town of Berk. All the windows were covered with sheets of leather and all the bit of rags were poked into the holes in the houses. The dragons had migrated away to their own island, far off from Berk, so the only one that remained was Toothless. He couldn't fly without Hiccup, but then he would never leave the boy for the cold season even if he could, so he stayed content to mostly stay by the roaring fire in the house of the chief.
Mead was one of those things that warmed ya right up on a chilly night such as this, and Hiccup, usually not the drinker, decided to drag himself over to the Hall for some alcohol and some company. Toothless being asleep, Stoick already being at the Hall and the cold keeping himself from sleeping, he carefully tucked his one foot into several pairs of socks (one of the good reasons of having a prosthetic, he was very bad at mending socks), pulled on his heavy bear fur coat and swung the front door open.
The snow was coming down hard and yet somehow he managed to close the heavy door without waking the Night Fury. If he had found out that the skinny teen had escaped from the house, the dragon surely would have dragged him back and sat on him before he let him out.
He crept along the walls of the buildings to avoid the blistering winds out in the open, and was able to get to the large entrance of the building known as Mead Hall. He cracked open one of the large doors and peeked inside. The place was bright and cheery, candles lit up the place and the long tables were full to bustin' with Vikings. He opened the door the rest of the way and shuffled inside.
He peered around the vast room and ran his hands through his rough hair. He was looking for a place that actually had room for him to sit down. Even though he was still a fishbone, he took up space. He spotted Astrid sitting at the bar, alone, and decided to go there, after all, Astrid was the least alcoholic of his friends and she more than likely wouldn't be drunk.
Hiccup took a bar stool next to her and the barkeep approached him, wiping a wooden mug as he asked the teen in a booming voice, "Whot ken I get ya?"
"Ahh, a small mead, and a water," Hiccup requested. The man nodded and started to fill a mug and Hiccup turned to Astrid with a, "Hey."
"Hey," she answered back cheerfully.
"Couldn't sleep?" he wondered.
"Ah, well, more like I could hear my parents snoring from across the hall and couldn't stand it," Astrid laughed. The barkeeper smiled at the lad and slid the two mugs across the counter at him. Hiccup grabbed them both and Astrid watched with interest as he carefully poured the water into his mead and stirred it with his finger.
"Can't handle it straight?" Astrid laughed again. Hiccup grinned at her as he finished stirring it and took a swig, "Yep. A bit too strong for my taste."
"Ya'll never win any drinking contests that way," she informed him.
"I'll leave the Haddock drinking contests to my dad. How many have you had?" Hiccup asked.
"Oh, I'm still on my first one. I really didn't want to be like them," she pointed over her shoulder to the table behind them. They both turned to it and Hiccup took another flashy but in reality very small sip of mead and asked, "And what are they doing?"
The table had the twins, Fishlegs, Stoick, Snotlout, Gobber and Spitelout toasting their mugs and draining them dry. The table was littered with wooden mugs, drops of mead still dripping from them, getting the table all sticky. The Vikings themselves were hooting and laughing at some inside joke and they were showing how drunk they were by slapping each other unmercifully on each other's back.
"Having a drinking contest probably," Astrid smirked. She herself turned around to the bar counter and settled down to nurse her mug when Hiccup poked her on the shoulder and said, "Look."
Astrid turned to see Gobber standing on the wooden table, mug attachment twisted into his arm where his hand had once been, and his lips were twitching as he finished the mead in his mug and wiped his lips. Everyone in Mead Hall watched as he grunted and pointed one of his remained fingers at Stoick, who had gotten frighteningly fearful of his friend in the past minute, and said in a hoarse voice, "Ya say I don't 'ave a dream?"
Astrid and Hiccup turned to each other in confusion as the blacksmith started to, to both teens' amass surprise, sing in a drunk voice, "I've got a sarcastic disposition, my limbs are in terr'ble condition, and advice-wise, I'm not really that trustworthy!" Hiccup and Astrid exchanged a bewildered look as he continued, "But despite my braided 'stache, and that our personalities may clash, I've always wanted to cure scurvy!"
Hiccup nearly spewed his mead across the floor. Astrid looked at her boyfriend in disgust as he wiped his mouth with his sleeve and told her, "He's off his rocker."
Gobber continued with his social embarrassment by starting to jig across the table. His leg and prosthetic kicked off the mugs and he began to wave his arms around. To add to Hiccup's astonishment, all the other Vikings, beside himself and Astrid, began to clap to the tune of the song; Ack even broke out his musical instruments.
"Can't ya see me being a healer? Making your gums no longer bleed! Yep, I may've been a blacksmithy, but I'd change it in a jiffy, 'cause way down deep inside I've got a dream!"
The crowd started to chant along with their drunk clapping, "He's got a dream! He's got a dream!"
Gobber continued with a drunk grin, "See, ya don't know all the diseases that I've seen! Though I may not be filled with stealth, I'd help ya improve your health, 'cause way down deep inside I've got a dream!"
Everyone stopped chanting "He's got a dream," and started to chant "Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, naaaaa!"
Astrid turned to see Hiccup throwing the rest of his drink down into the chuck bucket. He placed the mug back on the counter and ran his hands through his hair and mumbled to himself, "I drank too much. I'm having hallucinations."
Astrid scoffed and punched him lightly on the shoulder, "No one can get drunk from that much mead, not even you."
"Well, that's comforting," he grumbled sarcastically. He rubbed his eyes with his hands when he saw Snotlout standing on the table. "I'm sleeping, I'm dreaming. I'll wake up in my bed and I'll be covered in Toothless spit."
"You wish," Astrid smirked. She beckoned to Snotlout and said, "Let's see what he'll sing about."
Hiccup reluctantly turned to see Snotlout doing a jig like Gobber and his rough-and-tumble cousin started to sing, "I've got tons of brand new scars, my breath smells 'cause I frequent bars, not to mention my annoying helmet slants, BUT!" He added optimistically, "But despite my little flaws, and my huge flailing jaws, I really just want a bit of romance! Can't you see me protecting a little lady? Kicking the enemy's butt down the streammmmm! Since I lost my chance with Astrid," Snot pointed to the blonde, who rolled her eyes at him, "I've stopped acting like a kid, 'cause way down deep inside I've got a dream!"
"He's got a dream, he's got a dream!" Hiccup was listening so intently to the song, which surprisingly had tune, that he was startled when he heard Astrid chanting along with them. "Astrid! Are you drunk?" he hurriedly asked.
She turned to him and tossed her bangs back. "Nope," she informed him, "I just like the song."
"Am I the only who isn't acting crazy here?" Hiccup asked in an alarmed voice. He wore one of his incredulous faces as Astrid waved her hand at him, "Or the only one who can't have fun!"
"I can't have fun?" Hiccup asked her. He seriously doubted that, he had fun! Sometimes. Astrid shushed him as Snotlout continued, "It's not as impossible as it may seem! I'll get my chance again, I know I will, I ken, 'cause like everybody else, I've got a dream!"
Fishlegs leapt onto the table beside his friend and added, "Spitelout's got a talent with horses!"
Snotlout secretly nodded at his friend. Spitelout, however, instead of getting mad like he usually would have, cheered enthusiastically and toasted Stoick's dripping mug.
"Phlegma wants to be chieftain," Stoick continued in a husky voice that was deeper than usual.
"Ruffnut really wants a kitten!" Tuffnut blurted.
Ruffnut chuckled and kicked him off the table with, "Tuff likes crocheting mittens!"
The whole hall, except the still slightly stunned Hiccup, sang, "Stoick bakes, Toothless eats rakes, the Elder wants some namesakes!" Gobber added in a deep voice, "And Fishlegs wants to write poetry!"
Fishlegs blushed and hid his diary inside his pocket.
"Well, this is stupid," Hiccup muttered to what he thought was himself. However, those four words had all the drunk Vikings in the hall surrounding him in a minute. Gobber poked the boy in the shoulder with his mug and asked him huskily, "What's yer dream?"
Hiccup gulped and pushed away his teacher's appendage and said quickly, "Yeah, no, I do NOT sing." This remark earned him all of their axes, which were all pointed dangerously near his Adam's apple. Astrid hissed under her breath, "Hiccup, sing!"
"No!" he hissed back at her. She rolled her eyes and folded her arms cockily and whispered back, "Alright, face the angry mob then." Hiccup rolled his eyes at her for her helpful advice and he carefully eased himself onto the counter.
He smiled weakly and scratched the back of his neck as he racked his mind for some lyrics that made sense. He stuttered, "Oh, um—"
"Dance!" Ruffnut yelled at him. He gave her an indignant look and said, "No!"
Astrid hissed at him, "HICCUP!"
The teen, seeing no way out, started to swing his arms about and he moved his legs around in a little clunky dance. He searched his mind and stuttered, "Yeah, I've got dreams like you all, no, it's NOT other Vikings I want to maul, actually I'd rather avoid the violence, in my cove by myself and Toothless, just doing some flying practice, surrounded by complete and utter silence!" The crowd cheered as he lowered himself onto the ground. He dusted himself off and was about to tell Astrid that that was embarrassing when she smiled broadly and shrieked, "My turn!"
Hiccup watched, rather annoyed, as Astrid climbed onto a bar stool and shouted, "I've got a dream! I've got a dream! I want the new blood on my battle axe to gleam! I'll chop every enemy down, I'll be the best Viking here in town, like all you drunk Vikings, I've got a dream!" Her stanza received many more cheers than Hiccup's had, which annoyed him a bit.
The Vikings started to dance around Mead Hall. The twins hooked arms and spun themselves around in a circle and Fishlegs skipped around with his arms waving around high over his head. Many of the fat Vikings were doing cartwheels and somersaults, which Hiccup thought was completely impossible to do due to their large size. Snotlout and Gobber grabbed Astrid, who gave Hiccup a little wave, and gently put her on the top of the longest table.
The whole time they were singing, "She's got a dream! He's got a dream! They've got a dream! We've got a dream! And all our disgusting differences really ain't that extreme!" Stoick grabbed Hiccup and put him on his shoulder like a piggy back ride and they all cheered, "We're one big team!" Stoick drunkenly threw the terrified teen at Gobber, who tossed him to Spitelout who threw him between Snotlout and Fishlegs.
They shouted, "Call us nasty!"
"Cruel and strange!" Hiccup yelped as he ducked before a flying Viking tackled him.
"And complete and utterly deranged!" Astrid shouted cheerfully.
"'Cause way down deep inside we've got a dream, I've got a dream, I've got a dream, I've got a dream, I've got a dream, I've got a dream!"
"I've got a dream!" Astrid added. She saw Hiccup slinking away and she grabbed the collar of his coat and dragged him onto the table with her. She draped an arm around his thin shoulders and everyone, including the reluctant Hiccup sang, "Yes, way down deep inside I've got a dream! YEAH!"
Yep, this is what multiple hours of watching the best movies on Earth will do to ya.