Title: Five rumors someone on the Destiny started about themselves
Author: Shenandoah Risu
Rating
: PG-13
Spoilers: SGU Season 1
Word Count: around 610
Summary: How five rumors got started on the Destiny.
Characters: various SGU characters
Author's Notes: Written for prompt set 106 at the LJ Comm sg1_five_things.
Disclaimer: I don't own SGU. I wouldn't know what to do with it. Now, Young... Young I'd know what to do with. ;-)
Thanks for reading! Feedback = Love. ;-)

oOo

Five rumors someone on the Destiny started about themselves

1. "What about camels? Camels are cool." Volker lifts his cup of purple sweet potato hooch and takes a tiny sip. "And they can live without food or water for quite a while. So for someone like me, that's the ideal pet."

"Yeah, man, but the amount of dung a thing like that creates?" Dr. Boone shakes his head. "And I watched that episode of 'Dirty Jobs' where Mike Rowe works as a camel farmer."

"Exactly, that was so neat!" Volker points out. "Did you know a horny camel will even jump a car just to get some?"

Greer enters the mess and hears the last part of Volker's enthusiastic endorsement.

"I'm telling you, camels make great pets."

Somehow Greer thinks it perfectly normal that Volker should have grown up with a pet camel.

Volker never understands all the hump jokes directed at him afterwards.

oOo

2. "But it's banana flavor today!" Lisa feigns shock at Camile's disgusted face over their morning rations.

"Banana, shmanana," Camile grouses.

"Don't tell me you could do better."

"No, not here, probably. But at home? I could just kill for some escargot… raclette… biryani… crème brulee… cordon bleu…"

Rush has been listening with half an ear and nods at Dr. Inman. "Figures – of all the people here Wray turns out to be a five star chef."

Inman has no clue what he's talking about.

"A five star chef," she gulps. "Wow. Who would have thought? How the hell did she end up in HR?"

And Camile wonders why people keep talking to her about the best thing they ever ate. It makes her stomach turn.

oOo

3. "'Back to the Future", hands down."

"Really?" Scott shakes his head but Eli points at himself.

"Hey, it came out in 1985. That's the year I was born."

"So you were just a baby then!"

"Doesn't mean I couldn't already tell it would be a classic."

"Eli – the film baby! – Oh, hey Chloe! – Seriously, Eli – 'Back to the Future'?"

Chloe gets her own food and she tries to remember the baby in the movie. She's sure Eli was perfect for the part.

oOo

4. Vanessa raises her hand. "Actually, yodeling occurs in many cultures, not just in the Alps. That's just a cliché. Elsewhere they just have different names for it."

"You sure know a lot about yodeling," TJ smiles, turns and hands her bowl to Becker who perks up.

"Thanks," Vanessa smiles. "My neighbor at home had an alphorn. Did you know there is an alphorn competition every year, and some Japanese dude has won it for the last decade or so?"

Becker has a vague idea of what an alphorn is, and he tries to picture Vanessa in a dirndl, yodeling at the top of her lungs. It's a rather charming image.

oOo

5. "Cows, goats, sheep – I've milked them all," Riley boasts.

"Horses?" Young asks, popping another tiny tomato into his mouth.

"Oh, sure," Riley waves him off. "Not that difficult. When you have an orphan foal you figure it out pretty quickly, on another mare. You see, horsey tits are pretty big."

"Well, I suppose so," Young snickers, waving at Brody to come and join them.

"I mean it's not like bats. Milking a bat – now that's difficult."

"Why would anyone milk bats?"

"To analyze the milk – for bat studies. You know, for bat science."

Brody stares at him openmouthed.

"It's true," Riley says. "Anyway, humans are the only mammal species that drinks milk beyond infancy…"

Brody has always thought Riley was a bit on the cut and dry side. But anyone who can milk a bat must be a pretty interesting character for sure, and he's duly impressed.