My Name is:
What is in a name? What really is sin? Is there really such a thing as good and evil? Or is that all nonsense we just tell ourselves so we can sleep at night? I don't really know. In my seventeen years I haven't even asked myself these big questions, let alone found an answer for them.
When all is said and done, it probably isn't going to matter anyway.
Videl closed her eyes tight, trying to keep herself from going insane due to the heavy mood on the lookout. It was just so thick, so heavy...it was like someone had died...
"I'm telling you, he's not dead! You've all given up, but we haven't even found a body!"
It was then that a short ex-monk pulled her off to the side, a firm yet understanding look on his face. "Look, Videl. I...understand how you feel, but you have to understand. If we...can't sense his energy...then he's gone."
"...b-but, but what about Goku! He's got a halo, but he's over with Goten and Trunks right now! Even...even if he is...you shouldn't all act like you'll never see him again!"
"Are...you yelling at me? … or ..."
Videl blinked, tears forming in her eyes as she looked down. Krillin started to rub her back, which for some reason made the tears come only faster.
After a time, Krillin began to speak again. "I'm sorry. Out of all of us, you're probably taking this the worse but we haven't been able to do anything to help ease it." Videl glanced up at Krillin's eyes, finding them looking at her yet distant at the same time. "...which is saying something, given Chi-Chi is Gohan's mother."
Without thinking, Videl glanced over at the woman in question. Chi-Chi had fainted the moment the words had left her husbands mouth. Krillin walked over to a nearby table, motioning for Videl to sit down with him. Videl did as told, but her body was tired, her mind exhausted. With a thud, she came to a halt in the cold chair, her eyes throbbing with a kind of pain she hadn't known existed.
"Can I ask you to do something for me, Videl?"
"...you need me to...sorry, I don't follow. What could I do that would help?"
"You see, in all honesty, the reason we're all down isn't just because Gohan and Vegeta are...well...gone. The fact of the matter is, neither have been wished back by our dragon yet. As long as we end this before Dende get's hurt, we'll be able to get both of them back."
Videl continued to look on at Krillin, still unable to follow. Krillin took note of this, forcing himself to smile. "With Goku, Goten, and Trunks...not to mention Piccolo, we'll definitely be able to find a way out of this. We'll get Gohan back."
Relief flooded Videl's face, but worry quickly returned. "Then...then why is everyone so down?"
A slight shade of blue worked it's way over Krillin's face, forcing him to shift around on his chair uneasily. "Well...death...it isn't pleasant. I would know. And the stronger you are...the harder it is on you. And Vegeta and Gohan...they're two of the strongest people I know. And I know Goku."
"I...I'm sorry...I, I still don't follow."
Krillin blinked, confused for a moment before he figured it out and nodded as he finally understood the problem. "That's right. You're new, so you've never heard the stories."
"I've died twice, once when I was really young and again about ten or so years ago. When you're as weak as I was when I first died, you loose your body and you just kinda float around as a soul. It's hard to tell what's exactly going on, and all you can really make out is flashes of your past. But when you're stronger, you're able to hold onto your body like Goku over there. And then...you're forced to watch all your sins and then you have to answer for them."
"Hmm...maybe that's not the best word. All that really happens is you have to watch your past actions. It doesn't sound hard...but when you look back you have 20-20 vision. And for Gohan...it's going to be painful for him. Vegeta just as much. Because of who they were and who they are now. They may not come back the same as they were. So...we're all a little worried."
"But Gohan's not a bad...he's not...who, who is … Gohan? How could he...kill that guy...?"
"That's what I need to ask you to do for me. No matter how much he changes, how big or small, he will be different when he comes back. And I need you to remember, Gohan will always be Gohan."
"But who is Gohan?"
"...that's not for me to say."
What is in a name? Is the meaning of the word the only important part, or is the name and the meaning the same thing? So you love a person, and you love that person because of what they do. But they do those things because they are that person, right?
So what is it? What is in a name? Why are words and their meanings so irrelevant to one another, yet the so important to each other that one couldn't exist without the other?
Videl closed her eyes, desperately trying not to look at the crystal ball everyone else had their eyes glued to. She had been right, in the end. Gohan hadn't died, rather secretly taken off the planet by the Kai's.
But when she finally came to after being rescued by the man he had feelings for, she found herself on another planet than him again already. And he was fighting...again.
She buried her face into her knees, scared for so many different reasons. He was alive, but he was dancing with deaths door. That monster could easily kill him for real this time. But that wasn't even the core reason of her fears.
Videl hated herself for it, but she was scared of how she would react when she finally did come face to face with him. So many different emotions were floating around inside her stomach for him...love, fear...part of herself just wanted to throw it all up and walk away like it wasn't her problem.
She didn't have a clue who her father even was, let alone Gohan. Hercule had lied about killing Cell to everyone, even her. His own daughter. Right to her face, he lied to her with a smile. And Gohan!
He had seemed like such a nice, peaceful guy. Like he was some kind of storybook superhero given special powers, and then chose to use those things for good and good alone.
But that wasn't true. It wasn't true at all. He had killed, killed right infront of her. With a smile on his face, he sinned. Who were these people, all around her? Where Sharpner and Erasa hiding things too? Lying to her face with smiling masks on? Who were they?
"Stop asking who they are...and ask yourself who you are."
Videl's head jerked up, finding Bulma looking at her with a knowing smile.
"...how did you...?"
"I'm a girl too, stupid." The blue haired genius sat down next to Videl, the younger teen letting her feet fall from hiding her face to the grass below.
"It's something all us pretty girls have to ask ourselves eventually. Especially when we fall in love."
Blushing, Videl glanced away. "Love...what is love?"
"What is sin?"
"Answering with a questions...unfair. Especially for a genius."
Bulma laughed, the light atmosphere causing Videl to crack a smile despite herself. With a sigh and a wipe of a small tear, Bulma turned to Videl, leaning back on her hands.
"I'm still human, same as you. And being a genius isn't that hard. Want me to tell you the secret?"
Videl nodded, a little to eagerly than she would have liked, but it was enough for Bulma to continue.
"An average person is constantly looking up in awe, an above average person is constantly looking down mockingly, and a genius simply looks forward."
Videl had to gulp. This was a pretty deep conversation, especially for her.
Winking, Bulma held up a finger with a clever grin as she explained. "It's as simple as it sounds, don't try to find any more meaning than what's on the surface. The average person is constantly looking up, wishing for a better life. The above average person is constantly looking down, waving a piece of paper called a degree in everyone's faces, and a genius – after looking around and seeing how many things people have ran into because they're never looking where they're going, force themselves to look forward cause they're paranoid they'll run into something themselves."
"So...a genius...just as a person with common sense?"
"But...but what about all that science you do! Gohan said you made a time machine for crying out loud."
"It's not really anything special."
Videl had to look at Bulma, here narrow eyes wondering if the woman next to her was sane or not. "You're kidding...right?"
"This is where I draw us back to what we started talking about, so hold your dragons. Building a time machine, mopping the floor at a convenience store...love and sin...in the end, none of it's going to matter. Eventually, humanity will end. The Universe will finally implode in on itself, starting the cycle all over again."
"That's...a pretty dark outlook on things, Ms Briefs..."
"You didn't let me finish...and it's Bulma, you're making me sound old or something. It'll all end. But it's not the destination that matters, it's the journey. We may be trying to become a perfect society of beings where no bad deed is ever committed and it's all doomed to be for not, but that doesn't mean we should give up. Because in that struggle of moving forward that we create the one thing that's worth anything, that one thing that warrants all our evils."
"Vegeta taught me that, and that's why I'm guessing I wrote that on the time machine. Despite all the people he killed, he was able to turn around and become the man I love. Even for a man with so much sin, he was able to forgive himself enough to find a little bit of happiness."
"How...who...how can you love someone if you don't even know who they are?"
"Because I know who I am. And that's why I said you need to figure out who you are."
"I know I'm human, like I've been saying. And humans will never be perfect like I've been saying. Everyone has sin, sin we want no one else to know about. And in the end, it isn't going to matter anyway, so I'm willing to come to terms and understand myself enough to know that I'm a person who is so selfish that I look past all the sins of Vegeta just so I can hold onto him."
Videl looked down, mulling over the words Bulma had just given her. It was a lot of information, and two very deep sayings to boot. Bulma stood, walking towards the crystal ball to watch the fight only to turn around to smile at Videl before continuing on.
"You need to know who you are, before you can understand someone else."
Videl sighed, pulling her knees up to her face again. She had to know who she was? She was only 17 for crying out loud. How could she know who she was.
Well, she did have a strong sense of justice. That was something. She was bluntly honest too. But that couldn't be it, because knowing those things didn't help her understand Gohan any. Who was she?
Just who was she really?
It was then that a voice echoed across the sky. It sounded close as if someone speaking right next to you, yet it echoed like it was far off.
It was Gohan's voice!
"Everyone! Please! I know you don't have much reason to trust us, but you have to believe in us. Buu was not a dream, he's real. Really real, and we don't have the power to stop him. We need you're help if we're going to kill him! I'm not asking you to understand why. I'm not even asking for you to really care. We just need you to trust in us. To trust in me, even though you can't see me. Please, I'm begging you!"
And just as quickly as he had begun talking, the voices vanished. Videl quickly made her way over to the crystal ball, nearly tripping over herself twice. She fell on her hands and knees, here eyes locked on Gohan's broken and bloody body as he held onto consciousness with everything he had left.
A lump appeared in her throat, tears welling behind her eyes. She was oblivious to her father watching her from a distance, a battle of his own raging in his mind. She was even oblivious as the voice of King Kai echoed where Gohan's had been moments before.
"Piccolo, Krillin, everyone. We're out of ideas. The Kai's resources are depleted, those three are on their last legs, and the people of earth just aren't listening! Do you guys have anything...anything at all that could help? We're running out of time!"
The other fighters gathered around the crystal ball looked at one another, at a loss. Without everyone's energy, it was all over. But the people wouldn't listen. They truly needed a miracle.
And that's just what happened.
By chance, King Kai accidentally transferred the voices of the earthlings to those he was talking to, forgetting to close that line of communication after Gohan had given it a try.
And by chance, Videl was still in her own thoughts. Tears were rolling down her face, her hands gripping the grass as she saw Gohan trying so hard to protect...her. She felt selfish, but that's the way she saw him at that exact moment. Maybe what Bulma had said was right, maybe she was wrong. It didn't really matter. She didn't understand, she didn't know who she really was. But she knew she had to at least listen to his reasons. He wasn't the kind to just kill without them. She had a feeling...no, she knew he would have ones. And her sense of justice wouldn't let her rest till she knew both sides of the story.
"Gohan...oh...I'm...sorry for not having faith in you..."
And by chance, Hercule heard his daughters words. A sudden rage filled the man, his mind going blank as words started to escape his lips.
"You...you...you idiots! HOW MANY TIMES DO THESE GUYS NEED TO SAVE YOU BEFORE YOU BELIEVE IN THEM! Raise your hands up, NOW DAMMIT!"
The words spoken by the fake champ were accidentally sent to the people. And they heard his voice, recognizing it.
What is in a name? A name is a label, and in that label is a thing worth labeling. That meaning behind the label is what's in a name, right?
What really is sin? Sin is a threat of pain used to prevent ourselves from hurting others. But if sin is so unforgivable, why do we all share in it?
Is there really such a thing as good and evil? Or is that all nonsense we just tell ourselves so we can sleep at night? I don't really know, but I do know this. The hope of finding good in this dark world is enough to keep me looking for it.
Buu was defeated, thanks to everyone's efforts. There wasn't any one hero. Everyone returned home, safe. And Videl ran to meet Gohan, the two sharing an awkward yet loving embrace.
And the rest...well, doesn't really matter.
Holy heavens above, I finished it. This...this little chapter was a journey. I can't tell you how many times I restarted this little thing. This should've been a oneshot. That first chapter came so easily, because I really feel I can write Gohan well. But Videl...
I've come to learn she doesn't even have a character. Just look at her. She's not a tsu … a tsuna … whatever they call people with pig-tails in anime. She's suspicious of Gohan at first sure, but she wasn't hiding any feelings for him or anything. She just knew that somehow her new classmate could fly and she wanted in, along with him getting off her terf.
Okay, she probably liked the guy after the dinosaur fiasco, but a tsu... a tsunada...how the hell do you say that word? Anyway, as soon as she came to like Gohan, she never really hid that fact. She was even playful with Gohan infront of Sharpner.
Videl...literally, doesn't have a character bio. She...just is. She's a normal person, like you or me. And so...after many failed attempts to give her one without it fitting right, I scraped it all, said screw it, and made her biggest weakness as an anime character her offense, having her struggle to figure out who she was.
Just like this author's note, the chapter probably rambled on without really getting anywhere. I hope you like, but I'm afraid you wont after how good I think the first chapter came out. Rate, review, you know the drill by now.
But if you do review, and you've read everything up till here...please. Help me. Just who is Videl Satin? I think...she's the first average joe character I've ever come across in any anime...ever. I've always struggled with writing her, because I never really could get into her character or understand it very well.
I now know that is because I don't think she really has one to begin with.
What are your thoughts? Just who is she! What is in a bloody name?
Maybe someday I'll come back and fix this up when I finally figure it out. Maybe I'm just thinking to much and I'm going crazy trying to figure it out. I can't say. But I would like to come to a point where I understand Videl enough to write her as well as I did Gohan in the first chapter.