A Brother's Guilt

Summary: Feeling betrayed and hurt by Dean's lies, Sam has taken off and has left his brother alone. Brooding and sullen, Dean's left alone with his guilt and his own hurt without being aware of the danger he's in from someone he assumes he can trust until it's too late. Brooding/hurt!Dean / Sullen/upset!Sam

Tags/Spoilers/Warnings: This has spoilers for most of this season but it's tagged specifically for 07/06- Slash Fiction so don't read if you haven't watched the episode though this happens after the episode has ended.

Rating: Mild warning for swearing and some violence.

Disclaimer: I don't own the boys or anything to do with the show. This written for fun and only for fun.

Chapter One

A shady motel somewhere in Iowa:

"Go get your damn brother, ya idjit!"

Wincing as his head pounded from the echoing of the loud voice coming over the phone he was holding away from it, Dean Winchester reached blindly for the nearly empty liquor bottle sitting on the floor beside the bed.

"Can't," he muttered in return then jerked the phone away again as the voice started yelling again.

It had been hours or at least he thought it was hours since his life had fallen apart again. The whole evil clone thing marking him and Sam as serial killers and getting them on the FBI's Most Wanted list again was one pain in the ass but having the evil him get into his little brother's head by telling him the big dark secret that Dean's been keeping was the final straw.

Sam had been angry after they'd cleared the town and stopped to dump the heads of their clones after Bobby had finally discovered how to kill or at least slow down the Leviathans that came after them after Castiel got overtaken when he absorbed Purgatory.

Dean had known that killing the Kitsume monster…or Amy as his overly emotionally little brother knew her as, behind Sam's back would come back to bite him in the ass one day but he'd been hoping for a few years, not a few weeks…though in some way he was glad it was out.

Ever since Cas went on overload and vanished, Dean's been handling how to stay a step or five ahead of the ancient monster possessing the former Angel but more importantly he's been handling a little brother who barely survived having the wall inside his head fall and had just now stopped having hallucinations nearly everyday.

Protecting Sam, in Dean's mind, was still his number one goal. Despite his brother being four inches taller and nearly as stubborn as their Dad when he put his mind to it, Dean was determined to keep the kid safe from not only images of Lucifer to anything else that might hurt him. Which is what his main reason for going behind Sam's back with Amy had been.

For Dean, listening to Sam plead the girl's case was like listening to his upset puppy dog eyed baby brother years earlier when he argued for the life of another girl. Only for Dean, the hunter side of him that had been trained by John Winchester didn't see the difference between a Kitsume and a werewolf and he wasn't planning on seeing his little brother go through the pain again like he had with Madison.

Downing the rest of the bottle of Jack Daniels, his second of the night so far, Dean continued to listen to Bobby Singer rant on the phone while his blurry mind thought back a few weeks. He'd been laid up with a broken leg when Sam decided to swipe the Impala to go check into a case on his own.

Pissed off that his mentally unstable little brother had taken off with his car, Dean was ready to throttle the kid when he caught up to him. Then he learned about the girl, what she was, how this hadn't been the first time Sam had crossed paths with her and how stupid he'd been as a teenager when he bought Sam's line that all he'd done while Dean and their Dad was gone that time.

Sam believed the girl when she promised she was done killing. Sam believed it that she could stop killing and teach her son not to kill to survive. Sam believed…and that's what Dean knew would hurt his little brother in the end because Sammy wore his heart on his sleeve and the moment it came down to facing that he'd have to kill Amy he knew Sam would be as broken as he had been the night he'd pulled the trigger on Madison and that was something Dean just wasn't going to risk again.

Not that he could tell Sam that of course. No, he left Sam at the motel and then went to do the evil deed. Dean still had nightmares about the surprise in the girl's eyes as his knife pierced her chest but that was nothing to the guilt he felt when he realized her son had witnessed it…which was another bridge he'd burn when he came to it.

Dean had buried the act, the guilt and the pain deep inside him and chose to resort to his age old method of handling it. He drank and shut Sam out when the kid asked what was bothering him because if Dean knew Sam then it was a positive fact that Sam knew his older brother.

It had been getting harder to cover the guilt the longer it went because it wasn't only the secret that was hurting Dean but also the lies since he'd sworn to Sam that the lies between them was over. Yet he was keeping this one because while he knew his reasons were just, he also knew that Sam wouldn't understand them.

Sam had never understood his reasons even though Dean had grown up with the mantra of 'protect your little brother' being drilled into his head nearly every damn day and it was a lesson that he learned the hard way in some cases.

Now even though Sam was twenty-eight years old, he was still Dean's little brother which meant that Dean would do anything to protect him…even if it resulted in making Sam made enough to storm off. Which is how the elder Winchester found himself in a run down motel on some backstretch of road, drinking himself into a stupor while listening to Bobby yell at him.

Sam had finally learned about Amy's death and had been so hurt by the lies and the apparent mistrust his brother had in him that he'd stormed off that afternoon and despite the deep pain it caused in him, the urge to plead his case right then, Dean had let him go. Now he was regretting that choice.

"Bobby…I don't know where Sam is so…" Dean finished the bottle and barely resisted the urge to hurl it at the door when he heard the soft, almost hesitant knock on the door. "Hang on a second, Bobby,"

Sitting the phone on the bed, Dean had to struggle for balance before he managed to touch the handle but remembered to check the peephole before opening the door with a look of surprise. "Sammy."

"Hey, Dean," Sam Winchester nodded while scuffing the toe of his shoe on the threshold. "Umm, can I come in?" he asked quietly as if unsure how his brother would react to his arrival then blinked at the sudden pull that not only brought him into the motel room but also into a hard hug.

"Just shut up and get in here so Bobby'll stop gripin' at me," Dean knew he was way more drunk than Sam would be comfortable with since his brother had never liked it when he drank that much but ignored it for the moment to just be relieved that he still had the chance to make this right. "Sam, I'm…"

"Yeah, I know, Dean," Sam replied, returning the hug briefly before stepping back to gaze around the room. "I know why you did it."

Not missing the quiet edge in the voice that he'd forgotten Sam could have when pissed, Dean's alcohol buzzed brain missed the tells that normally would've been warning him of possible danger. At that moment, he wasn't thinking clearly so he missed it until it was too late.

"Pity I don't give a crap," Sam's voice went hard only a moment before something hard slammed into the back of Dean's skull sending him into darkness with only a shocking sense of pain and bitter betrayal. "

," he disconnected the phone while gazing down at the still form with a sudden un-Sam-like icy cold smile while removing his jacket and reaching down. "Time for the big brother to learn some things."

Elsewhere at Bobby Singer's backup location:

"Dean? Dean! Answer me boy!"

Having been shouting for the past little while ever since he learned what the hell his favorite two idjits had gotten themselves into, Bobby had almost been tempted to drive to Dean just to slap the boy in his head for being so stupid but the despondent tone, aside from the clearly drunk one, told the older hunter that the boy was kicking himself enough for both of them.

Ignoring the arched eyebrow of his current guest, Bobby continued to shout for attention when he heard what sounded like Sam's voice in the motel room with his brother and while a part of Bobby was relieved that this mess might not be so bad afterall, his more attuned hunter's senses told him something else even before he heard the change.

"Sam?" he snapped, hearing what sounded like a groan along with something striking flesh then a thud as a body hit the floor and his concern went up a notch. "Sam? Dean? One of you idjits answer me or…"

"Sorry, Bobby. Dean can't come to the phone now…or for the rest of his life," the voice that sounded like Sam but not like Sam responded with a tone that actually made Bobby's stomach flip as the phone went dead in his hand. "Son of a bitch."

Sheriff Jodi Mills had dropped by this new place to check up on her friend when the call had come. Then she just sat at the table, amused at Bobby's ranting until she recognized the signs of something going wrong. "The boys fighting?" she asked, guessing that Dean and Sam were having issues since only the Winchesters could make the grizzled hunter this frazzled. "Sounded like Sam was pissed."

"Yeah…" Bobby drawled it out while staring at the phone in his hand before grabbing for his jacket and throwing things he need in a bag as he threw what appeared to be an actual look of alarm over his shoulder. "Except that sure as hell wasn't Sam."