A little drabble. I thought there needed to be more to this episode. Merlin in no way belongs to me if you didn't know already.
It took everything in her not to strike him. He was breaking her heart and standing before her as if it were nothing. His words thundered in her ears, she was not appropriate. It was like a slap in the face and she was half glad to see him leave. She wished not to shed a tear in front of him, but as soon as the door clicked closed behind him she had to muffle a sob.
All she could do was to go to her small cot and lay down holding herself. This new man was not her Arthur. Yet he was. She didn't know how she could bare to face him every day. She wanted to scream, to demand he remember who he was, who he could be. Demand he remember his promises to her but she also knew it was not possible, after all Arthur was now King. She lay there for hours lost in thought before sleep finally claimed her.
Sleep would not come to Arthur his Uncles words screamed in his head. He was bound by duty to do what was right for Camelot. He'd always believed that Gwen was what was right for Camelot the Queen the people deserved. Apparently he was wrong. Turning on his side he tried to ignore the pain in his chest. A king was supposed to be strong. His father had been strong. However Gwenivere made him strong. The vision of her face as he told her they could not be would forever been burned into his memory. He almost didn't have the will to walk away. Not when he wanted to hold her close and tell her how much he loved her. Tell her she was what he truly desired.
Everything was so different now. Relationships had to be clarified, changed, not just with Gwen but with Merlin as well. It was for the best. Sighing in frustration Arthur rose from his large bed to stare blindly out the window. He knew he needed to rest; tomorrow he was off to fight a war he'd stupidly brought to Camelot with his thoughtless decision. A decision he would not have made if he'd been true to his heart. No sleep would not come tonight, he knew it wouldn't. Tonight would be a time for him to reflect. To find clarity on whom he wanted to be and the King Camelot needed him to be.
The Kingdom was alive, everyone celebrating Arthurs triumph or lack thereof but he had achieved something greater peace without bloodshed. Gwen had been proud of him but it was different now. She could not go to him and embrace him in her arms as she so longed to do. Tell him how happy she was of his return. It was inappropriate. So instead she watched him from the palace window and swallowed down the part of her that was dying and went to task cleaning.
Arthur felt like he'd been in a sea of congratulators for ages and by the time he made it to his room he was a little worn. Stripping of his armor and cleaning up he lay still under the heavy blanket. To his side a gangly bouquet of purple flowers he'd plucked up beside the road. The knock at his door only half startled him and he bid "Come." It was Gwen and she sailed in unsmiling, sad and he knew it was because of him. "Gwen." He stated reaching for the shabby flowers.
"Sire." Gwen kept her eyes from his not able to look on him.
"These are for you." The blasted things seemed to wilt before his eyes and he felt ashamed. He was King he could have done better, she deserved better. "They're not much I know, I picked them on the side of a road."
Now she did look at him. "Thank you sire but I don't know what they're for." She did or at least she thought she did but she was still angry mostly still hurt.
"They're to say I'm sorry Gwenivere."
"You don't need to apologize. I understand why things have to be the way they are." She didn't want to give in to him, but it was hard he'd broken her heart no more than a day ago but she loved him still.
Arthur studied her lovely face. He'd hurt her he knew and he planned on spending the rest of his life making it up to her. "A good King should respect the traditions of the past as my father did." She agreed with him but looked away. Arthur he pressed on. "A good King should also be true to himself and do as he sees fit and be seen with those who he cares for." Again she looked at him and his heart ached for the pain he'd caused her.
Gwen regarded him a little warily. "Even if they're not appropriate?" her answer was his hand about her waist as he pulled her into a kiss. She let her eyes drift closed for a moment realizing that her Arthur had returned. Opening them again she gazed back at him.
"Does that answer your question?" Arthur almost grinned.
"It's a start." He was kissing her again and Gwen was soaring.
"I love you Gwenivere, you know that right?"
"As I you." She declared and again his lips were on hers. She felt him lift her into his strong arms and lay her on the bed behind them.
Plucking the flowers she held in her hand way Arthur pulled one from its stem to place it in her curly hair her honey brown skin was glowing in the sunlight and never had anything felt so right.