KATEKYOU HITMAN REBORN! AD
Reborn shoots his gun.
The theme song: "Ran, Ran, Ran, Byakuran" plays.
Well done, sempai, we got their attention.
Squalo shoves the Frog-Head back.
VONGOLA GEARS! THE MOST FASHIONABLE ACCESSORIES!
(Naturally girly squeak)
THAT'S RIGHT! VOI!
(Naturally girly squeak)
Sempai, why do you sound so obnoxious and angry?
Mukuro stabs Fran's hat with a trident.
Quiet, little one, this is a method of advertising. Kufufufufu...
BOX WEAPONS! BUY THEM AND YOU GET A FREE MATCHING RING! AN EXTREMELY GREAT BARGAIN!
Hell rings are only available online. You get free marshmallows from Byakuran if you order from now until next...
He watches Byakuran eats his marshmallows.
Ryohei takes in deep breath, but as that happened Gokudera punches him away from the stage.
Vongola Rings aren't for sale!
The casts that actually bothered to care about the ad spoke amongst themselves, trying to figure out a way to continue the ad. After 'serious discussions', Fran was pushed in front of Gokudera.
Ah... Vongola Rings are special collections so... They're unavailable.
(Whisper) Just like all the things we own...
Cue finishing catchphrase!
Xanxus, who stayed seated on his chair, is placed onto the stage. In irritation, he aims his gun to the organiser of the stage... which happens to be Enma.
I'll kill you, scum!
While Enma hides, Dino frantically skims over the script.
That's not right! He's supposed to say...
Er... That's not right either.
Reborn looks over to his own script.
No, it's right. He's supposed to say: 'Buy or I'll kill you, scum!'
He forgot the 'buy or' bit. Oh, well. Next!
(Blank and fast)
Warning: merchandised are not actually for sale because the items mentioned are currently owned...
Can you stop telling me what to do now, Bel-sempai?
Bel drops the script and grins.
Do we make money out of this advertisement?
The boy blinks, realisation strikes.
Wait, if Mammon is here, why am I still wearing this stupid hat?
- Part Two: The Hidden Sale
Fran yells out from his microphone.
FROG HAT FOR SALE!
What the... Don't sell it, you idiot!
But Mammon's here so I don't have to wear this stupid hat
He tries to pull his frog hat off but Bel launches his knives at his hat to stop.
You wouldn't dare.
He prepared more knives and holds them up.
Fran challengingly stares at Bel and slowly holds microphone up back to his mouth.
BUY YOUR FROG HAT NOW AND YOU GET FREE KNIVES FROM THE FALLEN PRINCE!
BUY NOW BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE AND THE CREEPY CHESHIRE CAT STEALS IT BACK!
Reborn holds up his microphone.
CUE BEL'S KNIVES
Tsuna was pushed into the stage by the Acrobalenos.
Er... Acrobaleno Pacifiers... B-buy them now and...
Bel gets pushed away by Tsunomichi; the script changes.
... You get a free Leon- HIII!
Reborn's eyes squints with killer intentions.
Uh... Thank you for watching the REBORN Advertisement. You shall be rewarded by...
(Pause) Strawberry-flavoured spanner-shaped lollipops..?
He adjusts glasses for awesome effects to show that he's in charge.
Is this still advertising? Was it even in the script that Spanner is giving away his lollipops?
Byakuran drops the script and walks away with marshmallows and spanner-lollipops.
Belphagor slashes on the stage.
What you do that for?
I got bored and annoyed. Plus...
He points at Reborn.
He said cut.
Varias are... Scary...
Fran is wearing a miner costume. He approached Shoichi and taps him on the shoulder.
By the way...
The whole Varia, with the exception of Xanxus as he stayed seated, stands on the destroyed stage.
The place is "scheduled" to be demolished. Please, evacuate to safe your life.
But the ad is not finished yet!
Wait! So we really don't get anything from this?
Nope. But we are rewarded with self-satisfaction.
SELF-SATISFACTION, MY ASS!
He relentlessly throws glasses at Squalo.
VOI! WHAT THE HELL?
KATEKYOU HITMAN REBORN!
Creator: Amano Akira
Assistant Director: Irie Shouichi
Cast: The whole KHR characters
(Apologies. The Varia destroyed the studio)
Hosts: Sasagawa Ryohei; Sawada Tsunayoshi; FRAN; Squalo
Script Writer: "ilovechibis"
Co-Script Writer: Dino
Script Holder: Belphagor
Co-Script Holder: Byakuran; Tsunomichi
Catchphrases/signature reflexes by: their respective owners.
Theme Song(s): "Ran, Ran, Ran, Byakuran" composed by Byakuran
Thanks to/All rights reserved: Katekyou Hitman Reborn characters and Amano Akira
Warning: Hooray, parody!