Santana didn't know what she was thinking. She had literally just dragged Brittany from a party and brought her back to her room- her room which she'd purposely had decked out like a sex nook in order to both impress and intimidate any boy whom she decided to invite over. The only thing was that she'd never brought a guy home before… not even her "best friend" Quinn had even visited before… so to have Brittany suddenly standing in her sexy bedroom was leaving her feeling incredibly unsure of herself.
"Wow," Brittany announced as she awkwardly stood on the spot and looked around Santana's dark room with wide eyes. "Your bedroom looks like where angels would sneak away to do the nasty."
Santana blushed realising that even dim Brittany had not failed to miss the sex vibe. She hardly knew Brittany and now the blonde probably thought she was trying to do something creepy like seduce her or something. She had acted kind of crazy at the party earlier…
"I'll get you some clothes to sleep in…" Santana mumbled as she walked to her dresser and pulled out some shirts and shorts which they could use as pyjamas.
Santana knew she should have just sent Brittany home the minute she pushed Jenny off of her… but she hadn't. And for some reason Santana had brought her home even though she was kind of mad at her- well mad wasn't really the right word; she was just feeling a bit confused and overwhelmed and even though Brittany was the cause, having her there kind of made it better too.
"Are we having a sleepover?" Brittany asked excitedly.
"Yeah 'course," Santana confirmed with what she hoped came off as a blasé shrug. "Friends do that after a party right?"
When Brittany didn't answer Santana chanced a quick glance at the tall blonde only to see her biting her lip and smiling fondly back at her.
Santana felt her shyness overwhelming her again under Brittany's adoring gaze and she made herself feed off her lingering anger at Brittany's behaviour at the party, to help get her through it.
"Here," Santana roughly shoved the clothes at Brittany and walked away to get changed only to realise there was nowhere else to go; she would have to get changed in front of Brittany. The idea of it made her stomach squirm. She wasn't used to feeling shy and insecure around anyone let alone a girl. Maybe it was just because Brittany was so effortlessly attractive and she was jealous of her or something?
Knowing she just had to grit her teeth and get through it because making a big deal about it would only look odd on her behalf, Santana turned her back on the blonde and made short work of her Cheerios top. She considered leaving her bra on because it made her boobs look awesome after all but she really hated sleeping in it and after only a second's hesitation as she was sure she felt Brittany's eyes on her back watching her every move, she unsnapped her bra and let that fall from her shoulders too before diving into her sleep shirt with the speed of an Olympic swimmer. Then she quickly wriggled out of her spanks and pulled the shorts up her legs before unzipping her skirt and letting it drop.
Feeling suitably covered once more Santana hesitated again before turning around in case Brittany wasn't changed yet. The idea of Brittany getting undressed behind her was distracting and Santana couldn't figure out why she was so tempted to peek and see what Brittany had to offer. Santana racked her brain to try and remember if she'd ever seen Brittany change in the girls' locker room at school before. With the amount of Cheerios practice they were required to do it was fairly certain that the blonde would have showered beside her at one time or another already. So really it made no sense that she was feeling so uncomfortable about it now- since they'd obviously already seen each other naked before without even realising. It was probably just because they were alone in her room that it felt different somehow…
"Are you mad at me?"
Brittany's soft, insecure voiced called out to her in confusion and Santana's shoulders slumped in defeat as she turned to look at the blonde.
But Brittany was only half-dressed, standing there in Santana's shorts and a sports bra and the sight made Santana blush and avert her eyes. She had caught a glimpse of Brittany's tight abs and though the visual was now permanently burned in her brain Santana couldn't deny wanting to look again.
"Are you- uh- finished?" Santana asked awkwardly as she blindly waved her hand in Brittany's semi-naked direction while she kept her eyes firmly on the floor.
"Oh, yeah," Brittany answered cheerily once more as she stepped closer to Santana and held the shirt out to her. "Thanks but I usually sleep in my crop top- well that or naked really."
"Is that okay?" Brittany asked when she noticed Santana's obvious discomfort.
"Yeah…" Santana answered softly when her voice failed her and she quickly cleared her throat and tried again. "Yeah of course, why wouldn't it be?"
Santana couldn't look Brittany in the eye… and she didn't want to be caught ogling her either, so Santana opted to look everywhere but at Brittany as she took the redundant shirt back and returned it to the dresser.
Santana could feel Brittany's eyes on her as she watched her go about her nightly ritual. She brushed her hair in silence and wiped the makeup from her face- even though she was insecure there for a moment about Brittany seeing her without her flawless face on and even considered going to bed fully done up… but then she realised she was just being silly and thinking too much about everything.
In the end she couldn't take the silent scrutiny anymore and she collapsed on the end of her bed and lay down with a loud frustrated groan as she covered her eyes with her hands and willed the unexplainable awkward tension to just go away.
Her bed dipped as Brittany sat beside her.
"What's wrong?" Brittany asked gently.
Santana didn't have an answer for what she was feeling so she responded with her main concern at the forefront of her thinking.
"Why did you do it?" Santana's frustration made the question fall from her lips as an accusation.
"Do what?" Brittany appealed.
Santana removed her hands from her face and stared up at Brittany with a sincere clarity that had been missing since they'd stepped into her room. Santana finally understood that she had to look at Brittany if she wanted to make her understand that this was serious.
"Why did you kiss Jenny?" Santana asked in an almost pained voice.
She just wanted to understand.
"Oh, that," Brittany answered with a cheeky smile as she scratched at Santana's bed covers. "She kissed me. It was kind of sloppy 'cause she was way drunk. But it was still nice."
"But-" Santana shook her head as her words got caught in her throat on frustration causing her to sit up and try again, "But why her? I mean she's a girl."
Brittany's head tilted to the side like a cute puppy as a curious smile tugged at her lips.
"Is that what all this is about?" Brittany teased hesitantly.
Santana didn't like where she thought Brittany's implication was going so she jumped back in to make sure Brittany was grasping the problem here.
"This is about you kissing a girl, Brittany! Girls don't kiss girls. You're not gay," Santana insisted stubbornly.
"It's just kissing…" Brittany defended in a soft voice as she scratched harder at Santana's bedspread.
"But there were plenty of guys there you could have kissed..." Santana argued, though she neglected to point out that they were all gross and not worth Brittany's time.
"Yeah but sometimes its nicer kissing girls…" Brittany informed her timidly.
That got Santana's attention and her eyes bugged out at she stared at Brittany in shock.
"You mean… you've kissed girls before?" Santana gasped.
Something tugged at Santana's insides as she looked at Brittany with new educated eyes.
Brittany shyly looked up from watching her hand to stare at Santana with a guilty expression.
"I like kissing," She answered safely.
"But-" Santana frowned.
Every instinct in Santana's body told her to leave it be… but she was also overwhelmed by her mounting curiosity as she leaned closer and admitted what had been on her mind all night since she saw Brittany kissing her female teammate.
"What's it like?" Santana whispered timidly.
Brittany smiled widely at her question but struggled to explain the simplicity of the act that came so naturally to her.
"Kissing is kissing," Brittany answered with a shrug. "Everyone's different."
Santana nodded, able to agree based on her own extensive experience of making out with numerous guys.
But her curiosity still wasn't sated by Brittany's vague explanation.
"But girls are just… softer,"Brittany continued in a whimsical voice. "And they taste nicer than boys."
Santana dry swallowed at Brittany's dreamy tone and she suddenly realised how close they were sitting next to each other on the edge of her bed. It wasn't like they were close enough to just kiss or anything but there was a distinct intimacy about their closeness that certainly made Santana revisit the urge to contemplate kissing Brittany. She was just so curious now and Brittany didn't seem weirded out by it like Santana thought hot, straight girls were supposed to be… like she was supposed to be.
Her eyes glanced at Brittany's plump lips which were still twisted in a small smile.
"You know, you can kiss me if you want," Brittany offered simply as though she was reading Santana's thoughts.
Santana snapped out of her fantasy as reality crashed back around her and she realised she had been seriously considering kissing Brittany. Her face flooded with colour as she nervously tried to laugh Brittany's suggestion off.
"What? Ew! I don't want to kiss you," Santana denied as she jumped from the bed and started pacing nervously. "I'm not gay!"
"Oh okay," Brittany backtracked with obvious embarrassment as she began to ramble. "I mean you were just staring at my lips like you wanted to kiss me so I wanted to let you know that it's okay if you do. I've heard you're a really good kisser and I'd be lying if I said I hadn't thought about it more than once a-"
"Brittany stop! Just stop," Santana cut in trying to desperately stop Brittany before she said something that really overstepped the lines of their blossoming friendship, as her cheeks continued to burn at what she'd already heard. "Thinking like that; it's not right. It's unnatural."
"But it's not about being gay," Brittany looked hurt as she glanced away from Santana and mumbled to herself. "It's just kissing."
Santana felt incredibly guilty as she watched misunderstanding settle across Brittany's face.
"Let's just go to sleep okay? " Santana suggested as an easy out. "You've been drinking and you're probably just a little muddled up. We both are. Let's just go to sleep and everything with be back to normal in the morning."
Brittany nodded and solemnly climbed into Santana's big bed as Santana flicked the light and stumbled over to the opposite side, glad that the darkness hid her nervousness about climbing into bed with Brittany. Even with innocent intentions of sleeping, the act of sharing a bed with Brittany just seemed dirtier than it was.
She climbed under the covers and let the silence wash over them both. She wanted sleep to come so badly so she could forget the constant tingling in her side where she could sense Brittany's presence beside her. She had never been so acutely aware of her own body before; it was like all of her senses were heightened or something. She'd slept with Puck and made out with everyone who was considered remotely noteworthy but never had that forced intimacy ever felt like this; merely lying beside Brittany and not even touching. She just felt on edge, like she was supposed to be doing something with all of the energy that was pumping through her veins all of a sudden… and Santana accepted that she wasn't going to be falling asleep any time soon.
She wasn't sure how long she'd been lying on her back staring up at the ceiling when Brittany spoke to her through the darkness.
"Santana… are you still awake?" Brittany asked hesitantly and it sounded like she's only just mustered up the courage to speak.
"Yeah," Santana sighed and rolled over to face Brittany.
Brittany mimicked her and rolled over to face the centre of the bed so that they were now watching each other across their respective pillows.
Santana's eyes had adjusted to the darkness and the moonlight creeping through her window was reflected in Brittany's wide staring eyes and pale shining hair. Seeing Brittany like that made her want to reach out and run a hand through that long silky hair… but of course she didn't because that would be totally gay.
"I'm sorry," Brittany muttered apologetically.
Santana frowned but didn't really know what to say to that. Guilt gnawed at her own insides for causing Brittany to feel ashamed.
"I mean I still don't think it's wrong… but I won't do it again if it means you'll like me more," Brittany explained honestly.
When Santana noted the desperation in Brittany's eyes staring back at her she couldn't deal with the way her heart ached and in that moment all she ever wanted to do was see Brittany smile again. And before she even realised what she was doing she'd wiggled across the short distance separating them and enveloped Brittany in a warm reassuring hug.
Of course when her mind caught up to her body, Santana was already panicking at what she was doing. Other than Brittany's impromptu hug earlier Santana honestly couldn't remember the last time she'd genuinely shared a hug with someone. She wasn't even completely sure she was doing it right.
The way Brittany had frozen at first definitely didn't make her feel any less insecure but then Santana felt Brittany relax in her arms and then wind her own arms behind Santana's back pulling her even closer.
And while the hug had been initiated out of innocence, the moment Santana felt Brittany's breasts pressing against her own she was instantly reminded that they were currently in bed together and cuddling and while everything about the situation seemed wrong in her head, she couldn't deny how nice it felt to be held by Brittany, which was why she didn't pull away.
"Are you okay?" Brittany asked tentatively, sounding almost in awe that this was happening.
Santana could understand that; the feeling was mutual really.
Santana blushed at the whisper in her ear and she lifted her head to look at Brittany, realising how very close their faces were now that they were wrapped around each other. They were practically breathing in each other's air.
Santana nodded with wide eyes, not trusting her own voice.
She could feel Brittany's heart thundering away in her chest against her and the frantic pace made her lips curl.
"Your heart's racing," Santana pointed out the obvious with a small giggle.
"Yours too," Brittany informed her without breaking the amazing eye contact.
Santana giggled again when she realised Brittany was correct; her own heart was pumping away wildly in her chest.
And then Brittany leaned closer to brush her nose against Santana's, her eyes closing at the sensation.
Santana gasped at the expression on Brittany's face and when Brittany's eyes opened at the sound she started to smile enchantingly back at her as she leaned in and did it again.
"Oh," Santana whimpered as her hips moved of their own accord and nudged at Brittany.
They both froze at the movement unsure of how they were supposed to react.
Santana realised she was panting with want and was mortified to realise how wet her underwear was growing with arousal at finding herself in this situation with Brittany.
Brittany was staring at her like she had an idea of what exactly was going on down there and Santana started to panic once more and tried to disentangle herself immediately, lest Brittany realise for certain the effect she was having on her.
"Wait," Brittany begged quietly as her hands gripped Santana's waist and pulled her back against her. "It's okay."
Santana stared back at Brittany with terrified eyes and she realised that Brittany was just as out of breath as she was. It dawned on her that Brittany was feeling exactly what she was and she suddenly felt much more comfortable knowing she wasn't the only one.
Feeling a rush of confidence born of curiosity, Santana pressed closer and brushed her nose against Brittany's cheek. Brittany sighed and turned her head to nudge back at her.
Santana smiled into the gentle caress as both girls closed their eyes and nuzzled each other.
When Brittany's hands suddenly squeezed her sides and a soft moan escaped the blonde's lips, Santana's eyes shot open and she realised it was because she had unconsciously started rocking her hips against Brittany's again. Knowing that she was having such and effect on Brittany made her excited to no end and she threw caution to the wind as she rolled against Brittany once more.
Brittany's brow furrowed as she struggled to contain her vocal reaction and her eyes snapped open when she sensed Santana's eyes on her. Brittany blinked the lust out of her eyes and pressed her forehead to Santana's.
"Kiss me," Brittany begged in a soft needy voice, breathing heatedly on Santana's face.
Santana's hands squeezed at Brittany's naked back as Brittany shifted so that their lower halves could more easily bump against each other in their sluggish rhythm.
Santana shook her head still in denial even as she groaned when Brittany's thigh edged between her own and nudged insistently against her swollen centre with the next roll of her hips.
Brittany's hands slid lower and cupped the curve of her butt, tugging on her insistently and Santana obliged, overcome with need and continued grinding against Brittany's strong thigh without shame.
"Ugh," Santana whimpered as a particularly strong tremor shot through her body straight to her core and she buried her face in Brittany's neck, breathing against her heavily.
She clawed at Brittany's back; aware that she was probably scratching the poor girl but she couldn't stop… the things Brittany was making her feel were just too intense. On the next thrust of her hips she bent her other knee and forced it between Brittany's legs, pressing up and into Brittany with the determination to make Brittany feel what she was feeling.
"Santana," Brittany moaned in response as she bucked into the pressure against her sex and started sucking wetly on Santana's neck.
The sensation of Brittany's tongue tickling at her neck made Santana's eyes roll back into her head and she found herself grinding against Brittany even harder as she started panting heavily at their arduous rhythm.
"Ohh," Santana cried out as silently as she could as she curled her hips and brought Brittany's thigh right where she needed it to rub against her sensitive clit.
Brittany was humping her back just as desperately now and had ceased her attention on Santana's neck, unable to focus on anything other than the way their bodies were moving together. She did however continue to squeeze encouragingly at Santana's backside.
Santana couldn't take the building pressure anymore and with one more insistent grind she tensed, squeezing her legs around Brittany's trapped thigh and shuddered as her release washed over her.
Whimpering at the intensity of it, she clung to Brittany as if her life depended on it and pressed her face against Brittany's strong shoulder.
Santana wasn't entirely certain- as she was a little distracted by her own recovery, but she was sure she remembered Brittany's lower half beginning to tremble only to tense and buck against her uncontrollably in what could have only been the blonde's own orgasm hitting her. She definitely had caught Brittany's relieved moan in her ear.
And so the two of them lay there, legs still intertwined and faces buried in each other's necks as their chests heaved from exertion. Every now and again one of them would twitch as an aftershock of their orgasm rocked though their body, causing the other to whimper in surprise as they were nudged once more in their now sensitive area.
When their breathing calmed and the final waves of their orgasms subsided, they continued to lie there longer still, unsure of what to do now as they hid in each other's hair.
Brittany was the first to pull away but only enough so that she could look at Santana as she lay her head back down on what was now a shared pillow under both of their heads.
Santana's heart was beating uncontrollably again- if it had ever stopped- and she knew it was because she was literally in shock at what had just transpired.
Yeah, when you thought about it, it'd only been a bit of dry humping- teenagers did that all the time… but Santana couldn't get past the fact that she's just done that with another girl. And she's got so worked up about it that she'd actually had an incredible orgasm just from rubbing up against her beautiful blonde teammate.
Santana wanted to run. She also wanted to curl up in a ball and cry…
But most of all she just wanted to kiss Brittany and let the blonde take all the confusion and hurt and make her feel better about herself.
And so she did.
In a move that totally caught Brittany off guard, Santana pushed forward and pressed her lips against Brittany's in a shy graze of her lips.
Brittany's eyes shot wide at the light pressure and watched patiently as Santana pulled away, licked her lips thoughtfully and then pushed forward once more. This time Brittany eagerly pressed back adding her own soft pressure to the kiss and before long the exchange became natural and Santana opened her mouth to lick at Brittany's lips, insisting that she let her explore inside. Brittany smiled at the playful progression and fully obliged, letting Santana dictate the intensity of the kiss, supportively returning each velvety caress of her wet tongue but never pushing for more. She was more than content to let Santana take her time as long as she could continue kissing Santana forever.
But of course Brittany didn't realise that she'd started to roughly squeeze Santana's butt once more in a clear display of approval at what Santana's tongue was doing and the feeling made Santana start giggling and pull away with an eyebrow raised. She rolled away from Brittany to her side of the bed, still laughing as she settled on her own pillow and stared back at Brittany hungrily as she bit down on her swollen bottom lip.
Brittany smiled as she licked at her own swollen lips and looked as though she intended to follow Santana for more but probably realised she shouldn't push her luck and stayed put.
They both shared a long yawn, not sure which one of them actually started it, and Santana realised how very exhausted she was now that she was removed from Brittany's immediate attentions. She closed her eyes and let sleep wash over her without allowing even the slightest opening for a worry or regret to get in and ruin her night. For now she would be happy and in the morning she would worry about the consequences of her actions.
When Brittany stirred the next morning it was to find Santana sitting up against the headboard way over on her side of the bed.
"Hi," Brittany squeaked shyly as the memory of last night painted her cheeks red.
Santana refused to look at her as her own cheeks burned and she squeezed her phone in her hand.
"Puck's coming to pick me up soon, so you'll have to go," Santana said offhandedly, though for the first time she sounded like she was struggling to be the bitch that was inherent to her nature.
"Oh," Brittany replied with a frown.
"Yeah, we're officially back on," Santana explained with a wave of the phone in her hand as though to illustrate that she'd been texting him. Still she could not look Brittany in the eye.
"Right," Brittany answered in understanding though in truth her grasp on the situation was far from understanding, "Of course."
Brittany slid from under the covers and went about collecting her discarded uniform from the floor and started tugging it on.
Only when Santana was sure that Brittany was distracted did Santana dare to glance over her way and her heart clenched at the tears brimming in Brittany's eyes. She had to say something- do something; she couldn't just let Brittany leave like this no matter how much she was panicking and already planning major damage control at the mere thought of what she and Brittany had done together last night.
"Brittany wait!" Santana leapt out of bed and lunged at Brittany just as the blonde was about to open her door and bolt.
Santana grabbed at her hand and tugged her to turn back around and face her. Brittany sniffed and wiped at her eyes before looking at Santana.
Santana frowned at the hurt she saw and instinctively reached forward to cup one hand on Brittany's cheek as the other squeezed her hand.
"I'm sorry," Santana whisper was barely audible.
Brittany stared at her for a long hard moment as she gathered her nerves.
"It was only a kiss right?" Brittany answered with a shrug, "Like I said. A kiss is just a kiss."
"Yeah," Santana answered numbly though her admittance could be no further from the truth seeing as what she'd felt with Brittany last night was like nothing she'd ever experienced before. And that scared the shit out of her.
"I'll see you at school Santana," Brittany sighed and turned to leave once more.
"Puck said you were the talk of the party after we left last night," Santana informed her, desperate for their parting not to end this way. "Well you and Jenny…"
Brittany tensed as she understood what Santana was implying and she clearly wasn't sure how she was supposed to react.
"He also said that when I dragged you away everyone was saying it was because I was jealous and I was taking you home so I could have you to myself," Santana went on to explain guardedly.
Brittany gasped and spun around, clearly panicking on Santana's behalf seeing as Santana was acting exceptionally calm considering everyone had correctly assumed their intimate activities last night.
"I'll deny everything," Brittany hurried to offer her support, "I'm so sor-"
Santana bit her lip and looked at the floor as she pondered the best way to sell her idea on how they could best salvage the situation. She decided to just come out and say it.
"Maybe we shouldn't deny it?" Santana suggested.
Brittany's eyes bugged out as she stared at Santana in shock.
"I mean," Santana blushed nervously, "I'm not saying that we should tell everything what really went down. That's our secret."
Santana blushed and looked at Brittany who was now sending her a shy smile and squeezing her hand.
"But if you kissing Jenny…" Santana couldn't ignore the sour taste those words left in her mouth, "If two girls kissing is totally hot after all… maybe we could you know, do it more often? At parties and stuff… for the boys…"
Santana shyly peeked up at Brittany to catch the blonde smiling knowingly at her. But her face dropped only seconds later.
"What about Puck?" Brittany asked unsurely.
"Uh, he totally said it's cool. That it would be hot and stuff and stuff," Santana stalled though she was fairly certain that would be Puck's response considering the way he'd pushed for Santana to join in last night.
As long as she could convince him to support the idea and all the while keep him by her side as her stable boyfriend she could have totally have her cake with Brittany and eat it too; everybody wins!
Brittany squealed excitedly and pounced on her, crashing their lips together in a hard desperate kiss before she realised what she was doing and pulled away looking alarmed.
"Woops! Only at parties right?" Brittany reminded herself out loud.
"Right," Santana chuckled at Brittany's enthusiasm though the feeling of Brittany's lips on hers had awakened something inside her and she knew she had to feel it again…
"But we should probably practice though… so we don't look bad, for the boys," Santana proposed in a sly play for innocence.
Brittany smiled dangerously and stepped closer.
"We probably need lots of practice," Brittany purred in total agreement.
Santana swallowed nervously as Brittany started stalking towards her and she realised her own legs were backtracking towards the bed. She squeaked when the backs of her knees hit the end of the bed and Brittany pushed her backwards only to crawl up on top of her.
"I should probably blow off Puck so we can practice right away…" Santana suggested as Brittany hovered dominantly above her and it sent shivers through her entire body.
Brittany merely smiled down at her and nudged Santana's hand still clutching at her phone expectantly.
"Well what are you waiting for?" Brittany prodded impatiently as she eased her body down on top of Santana's and started biting gently at her neck.
"Oh Britt," Santana gasped and her free hand wound around Brittany's back keeping her firmly in place as she held her phone up and hurriedly typed some lame excuse or another to her "boyfriend" to get out of the date which she herself had insisted on only less than an hour ago. When she was sure the message had sent she threw her phone across the room and roughly grabbed at Brittany's head with both hands, bringing the blonde's lips back to hers with a ravenous need she hadn't even known existed until the tall blonde had danced her way into her life and showed her what she'd been missing out on all this time.