(I've had this story in my head for a while now. It's an AU look at series 6 of Doctor Who and I'm working hard on chapter 2. This is somewhat of a preview. I'm not too sure about continuing. I'll leave that choice to the reviewers.)
A bright morning sun shone through the window of an ordinary house in London, disturbing the sleep of 19 year old Lyra Anne Blake. She groaned, squeezing her eyes tight shut in the hopes the sun would just disappear. Of course, she knew it wouldn't happen. After about a minute, she opened her brown eyes and stretched. She threw her cover off and began her usual morning routine, not hurrying like she would if this had been a weekday. By the time she got downstairs she was a little more awake than she had been 30 minutes earlier.
After making her usual Saturday breakfast of tea and toast, she settled in front of her TV and started the DVD she had brought the day before. Most people thought her taste in comedy was odd for a 19 year old, but Laurel and Hardy was an old favourite of hers. In fact, The Flying Deuces was her favourite Laurel and Hardy film. She'd had it on video tape for years and was thankful to finally own it on DVD. She knew this film so well she'd often replay it in her head during a boring class or difficult exam.
So when the strange man in the bowtie and fez suddenly appeared in the film she treasured, she had to do a double take. "What the..." she murmured, placing her cup of tea on the table in front of her. She heard the post arrive and paused the DVD, going to collect it.
Lyra narrowed her eyes at the only mail that arrived. She picked up the blue envelope and examined it closely. Finding no distinguishing features, she opened it and pulled out the single piece of card that lay within. On it was a time, a date, and a map reference. "What the bloody hell is this all about?" exclaimed Lyra loudly. This was shaping up to be a pretty weird day.
Lyra sat at her computer and typed in the map reference, indulging her curious side. She scoffed when she saw where she was expected to go. "I'm not going to bloody America!" she said to herself, screwing up both the envelope and the invite and throwing them in the bin.
Centuries before, three men in traditional outfits rushed through a room. They all called out angrily for the Doctor several times as they tried to break into another room. When they managed to gain entry, there was just a woman and a painting of the Doctor.
"Where is the Doctor?" one of the men demanded.
"Doctor who?" asked the woman who had painted the Doctor, feigning ignorance.
Despite his efforts, the Doctor couldn't help but finally let out a sneeze he'd been keeping in. Now alerted to his presence, one of the men used his sword to lift the woman's dress, revealing the Doctor hidden, naked, beneath it.
The Doctor looked up at the three men nervously. "You know, this isn't nearly as bad as it looks."
Present day, in a different part of the country, Amy Pond and Rory Williams were at their temporary home, Amy reading aloud from a book. "At the personal intervention of the King, the unnamed doctor was incarcerated without trial in the Tower of London."
Rory rolled his eyes at her. She'd been at this for far too long. "Okay, but it doesn't have to be him." insisted Rory.
"According to contemporary accounts, two nights later a magical sphere some twenty feet across was seen floating away from the tower, carrying the mysterious Doctor aloft." Amy continued, hoping this would bring Rory round to her way of thinking.
"Okay. It's him." Rory said, giving in.
A few years after the Doctor had been caught naked under the woman's dress, he was once again up to mischief. A man crawled through some underground tunnels, attempting escape from a prison. "Doctor," he called, "Doctor, what can you see?" he asked the mystery man who was aiding him in his escape.
The Doctor's head appeared from an upwards leading tunnel. "Is the Commandant's office painted a sort of green colour with a big flag on the wall?" he enquired of the escapee. Before he could get an answer, alarms began to sound. "I think the answers probably yes." the Doctor said sheepishly.
Meanwhile, back in 2011, Amy and Rory continued to discuss the Doctor's antics. "It's like he's being deliberately ridiculous, trying to attract out attention." Amy observed, throwing a glance at the TV. "Are we watching this again?" she added regarding Laurel and Hardy's The Flying Deuces.
Rory looked at the book as he answered Amy. "Yeah. I've explained the jokes." he told her, somewhat annoyed at her constant disinterest in a film he loved. The doorbell rang and Amy left to answer the door, returning moments later with the mail.
"So what are you saying? You really think he's back there trying to wave at us out of history books?" Rory asked, neither him nor Amy noticing the Doctor appear on screen in a bowtie and fez, waving at them and proceeding to dance with Laurel and Hardy.
"It is the sort of thing he'd do." Amy pointed out.
"Yeah, but why?" Rory countered.
"Well, he said he'd be in touch."
"Two months ago!" argued Rory, growing ever more frustrated.
"Two months is nothing!" she retorted, sensing his frustration. "He's up to something, I know he is. I know him." mused Amy, opening the blue envelope that had arrived in the post.
Rory looked at Amy, who was looking at the mail with a small smile, and his expression turned to one of curiosity. "What is it? Amy?" he asked.
Amy pulled a thin piece of card from the envelope. "A date. A time. A map reference. I think it's an invitation." she replied.
"From who?" asked Rory, his attention now far from Laurel and Hardy.
"It's not signed." she stated. "Look. TARDIS blue." observed Amy, throwing the envelope onto the coffee table in front of Rory. They both knew only one person would communicate this way. The Doctor.
Far across the stars in the Stormcage Containment Facility, Doctor River Song picked up the same invite Amy and Rory, and Lyra had received. Once again, she began packing in preparation for yet another escape from her cell. A guard spoke to his senior Cleric on the phone outside River's cell as alarms rang. "You better get down here, sir. She's doing it again." he informed the person at the other end of the line. He paused a moment before continuing. "Doctor Song, sir. She's packing. Says she's going to some planet called 'America'." he explained.
Lyra Blake sat on the plane to America wondering why on Earth she had decided, against her better judgement, to go to Utah as the mysterious letter had instructed. She couldn't shake the feeling that the strange man that had appeared in The Flying Deuces that morning had something to do with the invitation. She also couldn't shake the feeling, once she left the airport, that the Scottish woman and her husband that were on the same flight as her were following her.
A feeling that seemed justified when they got on the same bus as her. When Lyra took a seat, she pulled the crumpled invite and envelope from her pocket. Seconds later, she felt someone tap her shoulder. Looking up, she sighed when she saw it was the Scottish woman.
"Hi," Amy said, smiling, "how do you know the Doctor?" she asked, giving a slight nod to the invite in Lyra's hand before pulling out her own.
Lyra looked at the invite the ginger woman held then back at the woman herself. "Do you mean to say you know who sent me this?" asked Lyra.
An expression of confusion crossed Amy's face as she sat in the seat across from Lyra, Rory too coming closer to sit in front of Lyra.
"You don't know who sent you the invite?" Amy asked, baffled as to why the young woman had been invited.
Lyra shook her head. "I honestly have no idea what this invite is all about, let alone who sent it."
"Oh," said Amy, "well our friend the Doctor sent these out. I can't exactly work out why he invited you, since you clearly don't know him, but I'm sure he has his reasons." Amy explained, trying to convince herself more than anyone else.
"Well if you could just fill me in..." Lyra requested, leaving the sentence hanging.
"Listen, you'll be fine. The Doctor's always got a reason. It's not always clear at first, but it does become clear eventually." Rory assured her, smiling softly. "By the way," he added, "I'm Rory Williams, and this is my wife Amelia Pond."
"Lyra Blake." Lyra introduced blandly, making the effort to half smile in a weak attempt at hiding her nerves and confusion.
The bus came to a slow halt in the middle of the dessert, and Amy, Rory, and Lyra stepped off the bus and looked around in confusion. "This is it, yeah?" Amy asked, clutching to the straps of her large rucksack. "Right place?"
"Uh. Nowhere. Middle of. Yeah. This is it." stated Rory. Lyra couldn't help but giggle at Rory's comment.
"Howdy." the greeting floated over to the three in an American accent. They all looked at the source of the voice. The source being a man laid back on the bonnet of a red 1960's station wagon. A man, despite donning a Stetson instead of a fez, Lyra immediately recognised as the person to have appeared in Laurel and Hardy.
"Doctor!" exclaimed Amy, grinning.
The Doctor smiled, slipping off the car and racing over to hug Amy. "Haha! It's the Ponds!"
Amy hugged him back, just glad to finally be back with the Doctor. "So, someone's been a busy boy then, eh?"
"Did you see me?" he asked her, smirking slightly.
"Of course!" answered Amy.
"Stalker." mocked the Doctor.
"Flirt." retorted Amy.
"Husband." Rory piped up, trying to draw attention to his presence.
The Doctor turned instantly to Rory and hugged him. "And Rory the Roman!"
Lyra raised her hand, speaking up finally. "Confused." she said, continuing the one word introductions.
The Doctor looked at Lyra and smiled softly. "All in good time, Lyra."
Lyra was about to argue, but Rory spoke over her, figuring it was best to let these things come out in their own time. "Nice hat."
The Doctor beamed. "I wear a Stetson now. Stetsons are cool."
Literally seconds after the Doctor finished speaking, Lyra squealed as the Stetson was shot right off the Doctor's head. All four turned to see River Song holding a gun, blowing softly into the barrel. She wore her trademark smirk, barely containing her glee at having once more disposed of another god awful hat that didn't suit the Doctor one bit.
"Hello Sweetie." she greeted.