Hi! I don't usually do long rambling authors notes, they generally annoy me- but I will try to make it as short and non-rambling as possible x

So, we read the book holes in English and, um, it basically sucked. I mean, no offence if you loved it; it's not my style. So yeah. If you're wondering why I'm writing this then there is an image that me and sweetporcelain-16 came up with; Chris Colfer in one of those suits covered in dirt and stuff and… we were gaping for a while. And I thought I may as well make a fanfiction out of it. So here we are enjoy and review!

Disclaimer: I don't own Glee or Holes or anything like that x

Kurt Hummel didn't want to go to Camp Green Lake; he was only here in the first place because of a miscarriage of justice. And his no-good-dirty-rotten-pig-stealing-great-great-grandfather, of course; but that went without saying. He was currently sitting in an uncomfortable upright seat, in an almost sizzling metal van that was bumpily riding along a dessert road somewhere in Texas. Kurt tried stretching his leg, only to knock his tiny suitcase into the unusually still security guard. Snapping upright, the guard tightened Stanley's handcuffs and re-placed the suitcase. The tiny case contained hardly anything- just the essentials for his moisturizing routine and a stationary set, so he could write to his dad and step-mom. Kurt sighed, wondering how much longer he could last in the oven of a van. He didn't know what to even expect of the camp. Perhaps it was nice there, like the camps kids in his class went to over summer vacation. He winced as he remembered his time at McKinley, especially at the thought of David Krafosky, the school's bully, and unfortunately for Kurt, known homophobe. That was until… no. Kurt pushed the thoughts out of his head as the truck continued to bounce, a light layer of dessert dust already ruining his shoes. Kurt groaned aloud as he thought of the damage the sun here would do to his hair, earning himself another sharp glance from the weary guard sitting next to him. Closing his eyes, Kurt allowed his thoughts to drift for a few seconds. He wondered what his friends back in Ohio were up to now. If the jerky clock at the front of the bus was right, then they'd be at Glee rehearsal now. He could see Rachel singing a moving ballad from a musical, only to be criticized by Santana, or maybe even Mercedes. Finn would side with Rachel of course- not that it would turn into a fight, Mr Schuster would break it up before anything major happened. Probably. Kurt felt his eyes prick as he thought of the familiar choir room, but tried to think happy thoughts to get rid of them. His family. The latest issue of Vogue. Kate Middleton's dress at the royal wedding… Revived, he sat up straight and began humming, watching the sandy landscape slowly shake by. After a while of watching various shaped dunes, Kurt frowned at a speck in the distance. It grew and grew, until he finally began to make out a few… tents? A gnarled tree stood nearby, and a hammock, but aside that, there was nothing. Kurt realised the van had come to a halt, and as realization hit him he grimaced. This was Camp Green Lake. It wasn't green; and there was no lake.

Kurt, still in a trance, was lead towards the largest tent, clutching his bag so hard his knuckles were white (even compared to his normal pale complexion). As he shakily walked through the large door- flap, he was greeted by the sight of a bored looking middle-aged Indian man glancing at him lazily behind a desk. Standing there, Kurt felt a wave of relief; this building was air conditioned. As the guard and the man sitting behind the desk exchanged a few words, he stood there awkwardly until silence fell, and the guard wished him luck and then walked away.

"Kurt Hummel?" The man asked in a monotonous heavily accented voice. Kurt nodded slowly, watching the man slowly crunch on some sunflower seeds. As the man followed Kurt's gaze, he rolled his eyes. "A substitute for smoking," he half growled. Sitting up straighter, the man introduced himself. "My name is Figgins," he said slowly, as if Kurt were an idiot. "But you must address me as 'Sir' at all times. Is that clear?"

"Yes… Figgins, Sir," Kurt muttered.

Figgins nodded in approval. "Now, your clothes." Kurt raised an eyebrow.

"Yes?" He was used to being mocked about his impeccable sense of style, so he gave Figgins his best glare and let the man continue.

Figgins reached to the shelf behind him and pulled out some of the most vile items of clothing Kurt had seen in his time on earth. Figgins indicated towards them with his hand, ignoring the shocked look on Kurt's face. "This is your uniform. You wear one set of clothes per week, whilst the others are in the wash. One for work, one for relaxation; your call." Kurt shuddered, and fingered his bow tie. He was still speechless as he managed to stammer, "I- I have to actually wear those! Those?" He was nearing a shriek now, and tried fixing his hair in an attempt to calm down. When his breathing returned to normal, Figgins carried on, pulling out another two items from under his desk- a shovel and a flask. "Your Kit," Figgins explained, smiling at him. "You must dig one hole every day, even on Saturdays and Sundays. Every hole has to be five feet deep and five feet across. This shovel is five feet long and is to be used as a measuring stick." Kurt didn't like the sound of this. "Breakfast is at 4:30am so that you boys can work before the sun is out and the day gets hotter."

"Moisturizing routine-" Kurt gasped. He was pretty sure what they were doing was illegal, but he kept quiet, mainly out of shock and fear. Figgins sighed and stood up. "Now, you'll be in Cabin D, so your counselor is Mr. Schuster," he said in a bored tone. "Now come on, let's introduce you."

Kurt stood up feeling slightly dizzy. "You thirsty, Hummel?" Figgins asked from the doorway.

"Yes Sir," said Kurt gratefully. "I need to preserve my throat, for my voice," He added proudly. "I'm the only countertenor at McKinley- well, I was."

Figgins laughed brutally. "Get used to being thirsty. This isn't a girl scout's camp," He snapped, leading Kurt out of the door and into the sun.

Well that's it so far I don't know if it's that good, reviews would be nice *hopeful face* I don't know if this is right or not, I'm relying on Wikipedia and my English book so… yeah. I would say I'd update soon, but knowing me, not true, so… I'll update when I can ) xx and suggestions for characters would be nice x