Ok guys, this is the oneshot I was talking about in Chapter 9 of Friends With Benefits, the scene that wouldn't fit in with the rest of the story. I would say I'm embarrassed/disturbed/disgusted with myself for coming up with this idea and writing it down for you all to read, but sadly, I'm not. At all. Enjoy :D

What A Jerk Off

I arrived at Blaine's house totally and utterly confused. Being as blunt as he was, I normally had a pretty good idea of whatever we were going to do when we hung out. Especially as most of the time it involved my feet on his shoulders. This time however, I stood in front of his apartment door with only a text message to guide me.

Come over. Wear loose pants.

Of course, I owned no such thing, so had simply put on some jeans that were a little big for me now. Finally plucking up the courage I knocked briskly on the door and waited the 5 or so seconds that it took Blaine to get off the couch and open the door.

"Hi." I said plainly. My friend was dressed in his normal casual attire, complete with sweatpants. Obviously we weren't going out anywhere then. Or I hoped not.

"Those aren't loose pants." He replied, his tone equally as plain. Blaine glanced down at my legs and I shrugged my shoulders.

"Do you seriously think I own anything looser?"

"Good point. You can borrow some of mine." Moving out of the way to let me in I stepped into the apartment and took off my jacket, hanging it on one of the poorly attached wall pegs.

"Are you going to actually tell me what we're doing?" I asked once the door was closed behind us. Blaine grinned briefly before going off into his bedroom to get me some new attire.

"All will be revealed in time my friend." He emerged with a blue pair (at least he was making an effort to tone with my skin colour) and handed them to me, our knuckles brushing slightly so a very faint spark of electricity shot through us. Temporarily draping them on a nearby chair I immediately undid my own pants and slipped them off, not caring that Blaine was still watching me. We had no boundaries around each other anymore.

"Wait, you're not wearing underwear?" My head tilted up to look at my friend.

"Nope. Thought it would be easier." He grinned, rubbing his hands together.

"Man, this is going to be good." I could almost taste the desire radiating from Blaine's pores, his eyes dark with lust and suddenly I had to get the sweatpants on very quickly. Whatever we had planned certainly sounded good – I just wanted to know what it was.

"So…" Once I was clothed again I stood upright and tried to look around the apartment for clues. There didn't seem to be any toys lying around, (although I suppose they could be in the bedroom) the sweatpants didn't suggest roleplay (unless we were playing hobos) and there certainly wasn't anything romantic. The only thing unusual was the TV – on but left on a blue screen.

"Can we get started?" It sounded stupid, but I didn't know how to act. I couldn't work out if I was supposed to be being seductive or just normal. Not that the two didn't combine now and again…

"Sure." Blaine waltzed over to the couch, plonking himself down and resting his feet on the coffee table. I stayed where I was, not sure if I was supposed to be moving or not.

"Come on." My friend patted the space next to him and I walked over, sitting down gingerly and looking at him questioningly.

"Ok. Do you want to know what we're doing tonight?" Well duh. I nodded my head, trying not to look to eager. Blaine paused for a second, building the tension, before leaning over, grabbing hold of something and holding it out to me. My eyebrows rose.

"We're watching porn?" A wide grin spread across my friends face, followed by a raise of one eyebrow suggestively. "Are you serious?"

"Of course I am. What's wrong with porn?"

"Well, I was kinda hoping we could do it ourselves instead of watching…" Taking my hand and running it slowly along Blaine's leg, I tried to look seductive. He reacted, but sadly not enough to deviate from his plan.

"That's for later. This is a test." A test? Now that confused me. Before I had a chance to enquire my friend scooted off the sofa to put the DVD in the player and I was left with the case. It all looked rather cheesy. Flipping it over to the back I read the blurb and almost snorted.

If you go down to the woods today, you're sure of a big surprise! Big muscle studs are fucking the hell out of each other, covered in sweat and surrpunded by nature these hunks are becoming one with nature and each other!

"Blaine, do you actually watch this kind of stuff?" I looked up from the DVD and my friend twisted his head round awkwardly.

"Yeah. It's hot. Don't you?"

"Um, no. Not normally."

"Well you're missing out." Once the DVD player was starting up Blaine moved back to the couch, flopping down next to me and stretching out, so his t-shirt rode up and I got a glimpse of his stomach. Damn, he was so hot. Why did we have to do this rubbish? I wanted to skip to the fun part. The film started and Blaine paused it, turning to me and putting on his serious face.

"Ok, the rules. We watch the DVD. We don't talk. And we don't look away from the screen. Whatever happens." I felt my eyebrows raise again but Blaine gave me a scolding look so I grinned and tried to look serious as well. I had no idea what the whole point of this exercise was, but a part of me was intrigued.

"Um, ok." Shifting in my seat a little so we weren't touching, I looked back at the screen and Blaine took this as his cue to begin. Reaching over to switch the main lights off he pressed play and the show started.

The DVD was…well it was interesting. I had watched porn before, but generally it had been when I was a little horny teenager who only dreamed about having sexual relations. Back then it was exciting and intense, conjuring up all kinds of fantasies. Now I knew for a fact that I could do all of these things with Blaine, and probably make it look better than these guys were. They did have muscles though, I'd give them that. Lots of muscles…

Every minute or so I would allow myself a sneaky glimpse at my friend. He seemed to be enjoying the events displayed in front of him, and from the look of his sweatpants, it was turning him on. Hmm, maybe that was something I could get behind.

After a minute or so I began to get bored, now transferring my attention to the thoughts going round my head. What we could do once this film was over, whether Blaine would mind if we stayed on the couch, if he was wearing briefs under his sweatpants… And then it happened. Suddenly I felt a hand slip into my pants.

"Mrgngh!" I don't even know what the noise that came from my mouth resembled – I was totally and completely taken by surprise. My body's instant reaction was to jerk upwards but Blaine put pressure on my lower stomach, pushing me back down. As my head flashed round to look at him I saw his eyes still fixed on the screen, almost as if this wasn't even happening.

"Blaine!" My friend seemed to ignore my exclamation, still not averting his gaze.

"No talking. Watch the movie." At his response my mouth fell open. Was this even happening? And what exactly was this? Realising I wasn't going to get anything else, my head reluctantly turned back to the TV, focusing on two guys rutting into each other on a fallen tree trunk. Suddenly the hand inside my pants began to move, grabbing hold of my dick and beginning to pump to the rhythm of the guys on screen. I nearly screamed.

Holy hell. That felt so good. So good. My whole body tensed up, trying not to react, trying not to buck up in sheer delight. Teeth bit into my lip to attempt to muffle the whimpers and my fingers dug into the couch cushions. To my outrage Blaine still had no reaction – he hadn't even begun to break a sweat. I was writing around like a pig in mud.

To make matters worse, as the guys switched from rutting to full on touching he increased his speed – all the time matching their pace perfectly. If I focused really hard, I could take the sensation and put it onto the two guys, imagine I was there being jerked off like they were. Oh God.

"Watch the movie." Blaine's voice suddenly sounded from next to me and I realised my head had dropped back, my eyes closing as I just moaned. It was a struggle to focus on the TV again, even more so when Blaine let his fingernail run down the underside of my cock and I yelped out, unable to contain myself. Eventually it was too much – the coiling in my stomach release and I came all over Blaine's hand and the inside of his blue sweatpants.

Once my orgasm had finally subsided I slumped down into my seat – the movie now well forgotten. Blaine paused it and finally looked towards me, smiling at the exhausted look on my face.

"Did you enjoy that?" He asked with a grin. I almost felt like punching him for asking such a stupid question.

"Yes." His hand was still under my waistband, just resting on my hipbone. I could feel my come beginning to dry – he might stick to me if he wasn't careful. Was this what it had all been about? Jerking me off to some porn? I had to say it was a little strange, But as long as I was coming I didn't have a problem with it.

"Did you come because of me or the movie?" Suddenly I was brought back to reality. I looked at Blaine, confusion on my face. What?

"Erm…you." Of course it had been him. He was the one jerking me off. To my surprise this obviously wasn't the right answer, and my friend sighed and shook his head.

"Oh Kurt." Without saying anything else, the DVD was switched back on, my friend returned his gaze to the screen and suddenly his hand was on me again.

Oh Lord. I got it now. I was supposed to come from the DVD. That must be the test. And Blaine wasn't going to stop until I did…

"Oh! Blaine!"

"Kurt."

"Shit."

"Fuck!"

"Me or the movie?"

"Shit."

"Sweet Lord oh God oh God"

"Any change?"

"Nope."

It took five attempts. Five times Blaine jerked me off on the sofa and I came hard and fast into his hand. The sweatpants were probably stained for life. My body was completely covered in sweat , my hair plastered to my forehead and my breathing heavy and erratic. I didn't even know how I'd been able to get hard so many times, and so quickly. But somehow it had happened. And somehow I'd eventually managed to transfer it to the movie. It had taken a lot of effort, and a lot of picturing Blaine as the guy slamming into someone on the grass, but I'd done it. When I came for the final time and responded to Blaine's question in the right way he smiled, finally releasing his hand and looking at it in satisfaction.

"What exactly was the point of all this?" I asked after several minutes of silence. We'd both been floating in our post orgasm hazes and I'd only just regained a regular breathing pattern. Blaine looked over, his head lolling to the side slightly with tiredness.

"I just wanted to see if you could do it. And you can."

"So you didn't just want to jerk me off multiple times in a row?" He smiled, moving a little closer so our shoulders were touching.

"That was an added benefit." He grinned and I smiled back. "Do you like porn now?" A small chuckle escaped from my lips.

"Only if you come with it. You sick, twisted little bastard." Leaning over just enough I pressed a soft kiss to Blaine's lips, long enough for him to feel but not so he could begin to reciprocate. Flopping back once I'd finished I sighed, closing my eyes and drifting off to sleep.