A/N – I'm still writing Unbuttoned. I'm still writing Burnt. I'm even still working on Not a Freak. This story just appeared to me out of nowhere two days ago. In other words, I got jumped by a Plot Bunny and it's rabid. It might not work out, but I like it so far. Hope you do too.

Summary: What happens when a brain damaged Harry and a transgender Hermione both get sorted into Slytherin? Snape's not sure, but he thinks it's likely to be an interesting term. This story follows various first years through the trials of their first year.


The boy wasn't anything like he'd expected. Certainly, he had the glasses, and when he turned, Severus could see those damning green eyes staring wide eyed back at him, but the similarities ended there.

Blue dreadlocks? What on earth was the boy thinking?

Nor was that the only oddity. Harry walked with a slight limp, his shoes undone and on the wrong feet. His tie was askew, and upon further examination, Severus saw that his robes were inside out. When he got closer to the head table, Severus could see that his eyes were not only wide, but they were slightly glazed. Somewhat alarmed at the child's appearance, he spared a glance down the table at Albus, only to see him staring down at Potter with a similar look of surprise.

Abruptly stopping in front of the hat, Harry cocked his head to the side as though listening to something no one else could hear. A moment passed where no one spoke, they only stared, barely breathing as they waited for something to happen.

That something happened when Harry laughed. It was little more than a giggle, but it frightened Severus deeply.

Something is wrong with the boy, was his repeated thought.

It was at that point that Minerva reached out to touch Potter on the shoulder. They watched as he looked up and blinked in what seemed like surprise.

"Hi," was the boy's strangely innocent reply. "Do you like cats?"

The student body responded to that with a burst of nervous laughter. Of all the things to ask their Transfigurations professor!

"Put this on," Minerva answered instead, handing Potter the Sorting Hat, her lips creased in worry.

Harry put the hat on as in instructed, not bothering to sit on the stool.

Severus would have dearly liked to hear what went on between Harry and the Hat, especially after hearing its decision.

"SLYTHERIN!" The hat called out after some deliberation.

And then something happened that Severus had never witnessed.

"Minerva, if you would?" The Sorting Hat asked out loud.

Minerva looked back at the head table with a shocked expression before regaining her composure. She quickly took the hat from Potter's head and then when the boy didn't move, she turned him around and gave him a gentle push in the right direction.

Chapter 1 – First Meetings

'The headmaster has issued a decree that all house heads are to have one-on-one sessions with all of the first years. As if this weren't bad enough, he also informed us that they are to occur once a week until the end of the year.'

Severus paused and took a measured sip of firewhiskey. His letter's recipient was a very old friend of his named Hadwyn Long. Both a healer and a dragon worker, Hadwyn often sent him bizarre stories of his daily experiences, and Severus had a feeling that the upcoming school year would likely be just as strange, if not stranger.

'Despite all evidence to the contrary,' Severus continued, 'the headmaster insists that it has nothing to do with the strange sorting of Harry Potter into Slytherin of all places. He also insists that his decision has nothing to do Potter's supposed sanity—or lack thereof. Of course, I asked him in private whether he had any care for my continued sanity, but he was strangely serious and refused to discuss the topic in any more depth. I daresay that this will be an interesting year.'

. . .

Date: 3 September, 1991
House: Hufflepuff
Student Name: Morag MacDougal

Sprout: I want to let you know that you are welcome to come to me at anytime. You don't have to be limited to only these scheduled times.

Morag: Thanks, ma'am. I appreciate it.

Initial impression: 'Morag seems nervous, which is perfectly understandable, but there is also an air of sadness around her that I can't quite put my finger on.'

Sprout: How are you settling in? Do you like your roommates?

Morag: They're both pretty nice. Hannah and Susan been really friendly with me.

Sprout: And Sally-Anne?

Morag: Ah, she's just shy I think.

Sprout: Have you heard from your family?

Written notes: 'It seems that I have inadvertently stumbled onto the issue. Morag immediately slouches farther down in her chair, and frowns quite unhappily at my inquiry.'

Morag: Some. A bit. I've already gotten one note from my mum . . .

Sprout: But?

Morag: It's silly.

Sprout: Not to me. Tell me.

Morag: My sister didn't get a letter.

End Notes: 'I didn't get much out of Morag after she admitted that her sister didn't receive a Hogwarts letter, but she did let it slip that they are twins. I know that this sometimes happens, but I do wish that it wouldn't. She is really rather distressed.'

. . .

Date: 3 September, 1991
House: Hufflepuff
Student Name: Hannah Abbott

Sprout: And how are you settling in, my dear?

Hannah: Quite well, thank you.

Initial impressions: 'Hannah seems like a well-adjusted and happy child. I hope she proves to be a good friend to some of those who haven't yet settled in.'

Sprout: How are you liking your roommates, Ms. Bones and Ms. Perks?

Hannah: Oh Susan is very nice. She's already suggested that we study together, and I think that's a splendid idea. We talked Sally-Anne into studying with us, because she seems a bit lost. I don't think she likes it here yet.

Sprout: And how do you feel about being here?

Hannah: Hogwarts is lovely! It's so mysterious and silly and there's so much history in it. I can't wait to learn more about it.

End Notes: Hannah seems to be doing very well indeed. You can find the rest of this session's transcript farther down on the scroll, but it is more of the same. I think Hannah will be a strong leader in Hufflepuff as she gets older.

. . .

Date: 3 September, 1991
House: Hufflepuff
Student Name: Justin Finch-Fletchley

Sprout: How are you settling in?

Justin: Well enough, I suppose.

Initial impressions: 'Justin is painfully formal in his interactions with both me and the other children. I suspect that Morag's conclusion that he is shy is quite spot on. I fear that some of the other children will find him stuck up, though.'

Sprout: Have you heard from your family?

Justin: [laughter]

Sprout: Are you well dear?

Justin: My family groomed me for Eton, and now that I'm not going there, they no longer have anything to talk about with the neighbours. I think it's probably rather quiet in the house now.

Sprout: Do you think they're disappointed in you?

Justin: I can hardly think otherwise.

End Notes: 'A home visit may be in order. Perhaps I shall introduce them to some of the other muggle borns' parents. I hate the thought that my badger is suffering.'

. . .

Date: 4 September, 1991
House: Ravenclaw
Student Name: Lisa Turpin

Flitwick: You look tired. Are you not sleeping well?

Lisa: Not very well, no sir.

Initial impressions: 'She is completely exhausted, yet unable to sit still. Strange.'

Flitwick: Perhaps a check up with Madame Pomfrey would be advisable.

Lisa: [shakes her head in the negative]

Flitwick: Tell me what's happening then.

Lisa: Padma gets up too early. Mandy grinds her teeth. And Sabrina talks in her sleep.

Written notes: 'I must remember to speak to Poppy regarding Ms. Brockleburst's teeth grinding.'

Flitwick: Ah, I see. I can see why that might make for a poor sleeping situation! Here, let me show you a very simple charm for blocking sound . . .

End Notes: 'I wonder if she will have new complaints next week?'

. . .

Date: 4 September, 1991
House: Ravenclaw
Student Name: Sabrina Fawcett

Flitwick: I see from your records that you are muggle born and that you live with your grandmother. Tell me, how are you adjusting to life here at Hogwarts?

Sabrina: The food is great. Gram is a great lady, but sometimes it's better that I cook if I want to eat. I really want to learn more about cooking charms. I mean, I know that I can't use them at home until I come of age, but . . .

Initial impressions: 'She is avoiding something. Perhaps I should find out what happened to her parents.'

Flitwick: There are some simple cleanup charms that can be learned wandlessly. Depending on your power usage and frequency of casting, you can usually get away with using them at home, provided no one sees. Here, write this down . . .

End Notes: 'She seemed unexpectedly relieved when I allowed her to continue on the cooking angle.'

. . .

Date: 4 September, 1991
House: Ravenclaw
Student Name: Michael Corner

Flitwick: Ah, Mr. Corner, how is Hogwarts suiting you?

Initial impressions: 'Michael is difficult to read. He is friendly to a fault, but quietly intense—not entirely unusual in Ravenclaw. I wonder what he's interested in.'

Michael: I think that I'm fitting in pretty well. Terry and Anthony are really nice, and we've already started studying together in some subjects. The girls want to join us, but Mandy and Lisa are bad at being quiet and since we study in the library most of the time, that really doesn't work. I don't want to come off as callous, but most girls really annoy me.

Flitwick: You only mentioned Ms. Turpin and Ms. Brocklehurst. How do you feel about Ms. Fawcett and Ms. Patil?

Michael: Eh, Sabrina's alright. [He shrugs.] She doesn't talk much, but she studies a lot. I don't think she's interested in studying with us. Padma usually studies with her sister, though if I had to spend that much time with a Gryffindor, I'd probably wig out. [He laughs.]

Flitwick: Already annoyed with Gryffindor?

Michael: They're impossible to work with. You always know when they come into the library because Madame Pince has to shush and threaten them a whole lot.

End Notes: 'Michael has taken on the persona of many Ravenclaws with far too much enthusiasm, especially regarding our less than wholesome qualities. It is worth keeping an eye on.'

. . .

Date: 5 September, 1991
House: Gryffindor
Student Name: Ronald Weasley

McGonagall: Well Mr. Weasley, how do you like Hogwarts thus far?

Ron: It's great. I mean, I miss mum and dad and my little sister, but I like seeing Fred and George more often.

McGonagall: And your brother, Percy?

Ron: Yeah well, can't win everything, can I? Hey, I'm not really serious!

Initial impressions: 'Sometimes I envy Severus with his Weasley free house.'

McGonagall: How do you like your classes?

Ron: Eh, they're ok. I like learning as much as the next bloke, but I wish there was more bang and boom and less thinking and theory and blah blah blah. No offence, ma'am.

McGonagall: None taken. Have you made any friends yet?

Ron: No best mates yet, if that's what you mean. I was really hoping that Harry Potter would be sorted into Gryffindor, but now he's a Snake and I'd probably receive a howler for being friends with a Slytherin.

McGonagall: I very much doubt that. Your mother and father think very highly of Professor Snape, as well as a number of other Slytherin associated people. Perhaps you would like a list?

Ron: Uh no thanks, ma'am.

End Notes: 'I do tire of this ongoing enmity between the houses.'

. . .

Date: 5 September, 1991
House: Gryffindor
Student Name: Neville Longbottom

McGonagall: How is Hogwarts suiting you thus far?

Neville: Sometimes it's too loud for me, and I keep getting lost no matter how hard I try.

McGonagall: I suspect you'll get used to the noise level, and to be honest, I sometimes find myself still lost within her walls.

Neville: That's not really very comforting, ma'am.

Initial impressions: 'Neville is very shy and rather un-Gryffindorlike. I wonder what the Sorting Hat saw that I have not yet. Then again, I thought that Percy Weasley would have done well in Ravenclaw. Actually, I still think that.'

McGonagall: How do you feel about your classes?

Neville: I liked Herbology a great deal, but I don't think I'll ever get used to the midnight astronomy classes.

McGonagall: They are hard to get used to. How do you feel about your classmates?

Neville: [He shrugs.]

McGonagall: Come now. You must have an opinion.

Neville: I don't think they care for me very much.

McGonagall: Just the Gryffindors or everyone?

Neville: Mostly the Gryffindors. And the Ravenclaws. The Hufflepuffs are okay, and so are some of the Slytherins.

Written notes: 'Neville feels comfortable around some of the Slytherins? Now that is a surprise.'

McGonagall: Which Slytherins are those, may I ask?

Neville: Some of the girls. Harry Potter. That's mostly it.

McGonagall: What do you think of Harry?

Neville: He's . . . different. He told me that the plants talk to him and he can tell which ones like him by the way they smell.

McGonagall: That is unusual.

End Notes: 'Neville might have done well in Hufflepuff. I've only had him in one class thus far, but the first class is rarely a good judge of how things will be later on. I do find it somewhat encouraging that Harry has talked to at least one person in my house. Perhaps things are not as dire with him as they currently seem.'

. . .

Date: 5 September, 1991
House: Gryffindor
Student Name: Parvati Patil

McGonagall: How are you adjusting to Hogwarts?

Parvati: Pretty well. I wish Padma had been sorted with me, but I'm glad I wasn't sorted with her.

McGonagall: And why is that?

Parvati: I'd never make it being surrounded by nerds all day. [She laughs].

Initial impressions: 'Lazy.'

McGonagall: How are you getting along with your classmates?

Parvati: Lavender is fun. Hannah Abbott seems pretty nice. In fact, all of the Hufflepuffs do. But the Slytherins are weird. They always look angry and they can't take jokes at all.

McGonagall: I suggest that you attempt to treat them with respect and leave them alone otherwise. Slytherins are not fond of being laughed at.

End Notes: 'Then again, neither is anyone else, but at least a Hufflepuff won't hex your feet off if you laugh at them too much.'

. . .

Date: 8 September, 1991
House: Slytherin
Student Name: Vincent Crabbe
Lives with: Mother and Father
Siblings: One older sister, graduated from Hogwarts in 1989.
Initial infirmary check-up: Healthy, despite being a bit overweight. Poppy tells me it's mostly muscle.
Roommates: Harry Potter and Blaise Zabini (Gregory Goyle, Draco Malfoy and Theodore Nott are in the other first years boy's room. I thought it advantageous to separate them).
Blood status: Pureblood
Magic levels: Average, potential for growth
Last owl received from family: 5 September, 1991.

Initial impressions: 'I suspect that his father has told him to befriend Draco Malfoy, and likely at any cost. Crabbe Sr. and Malfoy Sr. have a number of lucrative business arrangements. Merlin only knows what would happen if Draco was left to fend for himself.'

'Vincent Crabbe seems less than an intellectual and more of a hired bodyguard, but there are likely more subplots wrapped up in his mind than just that. I have spoken with his professors and they inform me that he is quiet and does not interact in the class whatsoever. They have warned me that unless his written work is superb, then his academic progress will suffer. He has already been assigned tutors.'

Snape: You will be here every week until the end of the school year, minus the holidays. I do not accept lateness from anyone, especially my own house. You are to tell me the truth. Trust me that I can sniff out a lie faster than anyone in this entire school. You will not like what happens if I find that you are lying. Understand?

Vincent: Yes sir.

Snape: Tell me something, do you like Draco Malfoy?

Vincent: Um, not really, sir.

Side note: 'I thought not.'

Snape: You may dispense with the sirs, Mr. Crabbe.

Vincent: Yes, si—yes, okay. Can you call me Vince then?

Snape: Vince. What do you think of Harry Potter?

Vincent: He's a bit funny, you know? He doesn't talk to anyone, but he talks to himself sometimes. Twice this week I caught him trying to leave the dorm without his shoes. He didn't seem mad that I made him go put them on though. Actually told me 'thanks' the second time. More than I ever get from Malfoy.

Snape: Thank you for helping him, Vince. You know how important it is to present a good face to the public.

Vince: Yeah. Some of the Gryffindors were making fun of him, but he didn't even seem to notice. Made Malfoy mad though. He thinks Harry is scared of them or something.

Snape: Which class do you like best so far?

Vince: Magical Protocol, but that's 'cause I already know most of what they're teaching. Mum made me learn.

Snape: Any class that you already know is going to be a struggle?

Vince: Uh, your class sir. I get mixed up with all the ingredients. And transfiguration. She makes me a bit nervous. I don't think she cares for Slytherins much.

Snape: I have already set up a tutoring schedule for you and Mr. Goyle both—separate from Mr. Malfoy, I might add.

Vince: Thanks. And thanks for not making me room with him.

Snape: You are most welcome.

End Notes: 'It is an unfortunate situation that Vincent Crabbe finds himself in. I can only hope to alleviate some of his stresses, but the rest of it is ultimately up to him.'

. . .

Date: 8 September, 1991
House: Slytherin
Student Name: Hermione Granger
Lives with: Mother and Father
Siblings: None
Initial infirmary check-up: Physically healthy. Emotionally withdrawn, perhaps depressed.
Roommates: Millicent Bulstrode, Daphne Greengrass, Pansy Parkinson (I am considering splitting this room into two. It seems like more trouble than it is worth).
Blood status: Muggle born.
Magic levels: Semi-powerful
Last owl received from family: 7 September, 1991. It did not seem to go over well.

Initial impressions: 'I believe that Ms. Granger is what is referred to in the muggle world as a 'tomboy.' Her overall appearance is very androgynous, and at this age it is difficult to determine her gender without prior knowledge. She wears only the male form of the white uniform shirts, her shoes are plain leather, and I doubt she owns a single skirt. Her hair is very short and roughly cut, almost as if she did it herself.'

'Furthermore, she does not speak to anyone. She moves through the hallways silently, her eyes on the floor, her hand clenched into a fist around the strap of her bag. Though, it is important to note that she is not helpless or as shy as she seems otherwise. This past Tuesday, she showed that she carries her wand in her other hand at all times and has the reflexes of an angry cat. Mr. Davies and Mr. Stebbins instantly regretted the firework that they threw near her head. With only a whisper and an angry swipe of her wand, Ms. Granger cursed them both with the Fire Bindings Hex, something that is difficult for most upper years to master.'

'I must admit that I am rather impressed with her magical skill. On the other hand, I find her demeanour to be one of worry and will be adding extra wards to her bedroom. It may be worthwhile to meet her parents as well. They may be able to shed light on the reasons behind her depressed behaviours.'

Snape: Ms. Granger, I am going to need you to respond to my questions here. You might be able to get away with silence in the rest of your classes, but that will not go over well in this setting. These meetings are designed to help you, and if you refuse to cooperate, I may be forced to owl your parents.

Side note: 'That got a response. I do not enjoy threatening my snakes, but sometimes it is for their benefit that I must do so.'

Snape: So I ask again, where did you learn the Fire Bindings Hex?

Hermione: [mutters] In a book.

Snape: From our library?

Hermione: Is there another magical library handy nearby?

Side note: 'I actually prefer the angry sarcasm to her previous silence.'

Snape: Indeed, there is. There are many, if only you know where and how to look.

Hermione: [shrugs]

Snape: Do you enjoy reading?

Hermione: Yes.

Snape: If you would like, I could arrange for you to borrow books from some of the other libraries close by.

Hermione: And what do you want?

Snape: Your continued interaction in these meetings.

Hermione: What kind of libraries?

End Notes: 'Despite what she'd like me and the other professors to believe, Hermione Granger does enjoy learning and if given the chance, will likely devour every book she gets her hands on. I too can appreciate the escape that a good book provides. I will request that Madame Pince copy me on all of Granger's book choices.'

. . .

Date: 8 September, 1991
House: Slytherin
Student Name: Draco Malfoy
Lives with: Mother and Father
Siblings: None
Initial infirmary check-up: A touch anemic.
Roommates: Gregory Goyle and Theodore Nott (Harry Potter, Vincent Crabbe and Blaise Zabini are in the other room)
Blood status: Pureblood
Magic levels: Above average (I wonder how he would respond if I were to tell him of these results?)
Last owl received from family: 7 September, 1991

Initial impressions: 'A spoiled brat with no apparent redeeming qualities, other than his slight aptitude for Potions. He has potential for great emotional depth, but currently those emotions seem to be limited to anger and jealousy. If not for his familial history, I would almost endeavour to say that he should have been put in Gryffindor. He has the subtlety of a falling rock.'

Snape: You know better than to lie to me about anything. I will find out and so will your father.

Draco: Yes sir.

Side note: 'He thinks he can fool me into thinking he's an obedient and first-rate student. I nearly expect him to stand up and click his heels together with each sir. I sometimes wonder which is more difficult, Weasleys or Malfoys?'

Snape: Cut the act, Draco. I know who you are.

Draco: What do you mean, sir?

Side note: 'Innocent expression, my arse. Sometimes I hope that they have a chance to read these transcripts. It would make my life easier in so many ways. Of course I'm not serious about that Albus.'

Snape: Fine. Play your game, but remember I have interacted with many more people and the posturing of an eleven year old will never frighten me.


Snape: Tell me why you became so angry at Harry Potter in the hallway after Potions.

Draco: He laughed at me.

Snape: At you?

Draco: [Flushing]. He looked right at me and said, "What are you?" And I told him where to put it. And he laughed.

Snape: Perhaps he didn't feel like getting detention.

Draco: Why would he get detention?

Side note: 'See? An idiot.'

Snape: For breaking one of the main rules of the house of Slytherin.


Snape: Which you clearly never read despite my telling all first years to do so. Another detention.

Draco: For me! Why? That's completely unfair.

Snape: Slytherins stick together. Slytherins are a family. Slytherins resolve fights in private. Did it not occur to you that perhaps Harry wasn't even looking at you?

End notes: 'Only seven more years of this. Seven more years. Only seven more years.'

. . .

Date: 8 September, 1991
House: Slytherin
Student Name: Harry Potter
Lives with: Aunt and Uncle, cousin
Siblings: None
Initial infirmary check-up: Malnourished, poorly healed bones in his left leg, right arm and more scar tissue than can possibly be healthy on someone so young. Poppy has sent a report into Wizarding Children's Services for likely abuse and they are looking into it now. She has also suggested that we find him a mind healer. Although there is no lasting physical damage—likely because his magic healed him—Poppy believes that the mental confusion was caused by brain injuries, and possibly numerous ones. There was no sexual abuse found on any of the scans.
Roommates: Vincent Crabbe and Blaise Zabini.
Blood status: 1st generation pureblood
Magic levels: Powerful
Last owl received from family: None. Considering his infirmary check-up results, I should hope that he doesn't receive anything from them.

Initial impressions: 'To tell the truth, I am surprised that Potter managed to get to all of his classes more or less on time this week. Of course, that doesn't mean that he necessarily arrived with his proper textbooks or even his bag, but at least he was physically present. After spending much of my time worrying about where he was, I've also decided that it might be worthwhile to attach a tracking charm to his person.'

Snape: Come in, Mr. Potter [hand on his shoulder].

Side note: 'After seeing him respond to Minerva's touch, I decided to keep in physical contact with him as much as possible during his session.'

Harry: Hi 'fessor Snape! Wow, you gots lots of shiny stuff in here. What's that?

Snape: Essence of murtlap. It's used in reducing . . .

Harry: Scar tissue! Yeah, I read that in my book.

Snape: I'm very pleased to hear that, Harry. Where is your Potions textbook now?

Side note: 'I ask only because Mr. Crabbe informed me that Harry had lost it.'

Harry: Oh, it's in the girl's bathroom.

Snape: Which one?

Harry: The second or . . . third floor? I forget.

Snape: Why is it in there?

Harry: 'Cause my friend Draco threw it in there.

Side note: 'Where should I start?'

Snape: He threw it in there? Why did he do such a thing?

Harry: 'Cause it was a game? I dunno. Hey, you gots really long fingers. [He gets up from his chair next to Snape and perches on the sidearm of it].

Snape: [Transfigures the armchair into a small sofa]

Harry: Wow, you're really warm. [sniffs Snape's robes] And you smell like healing potions. Why? Poppy made me take lots and lots and they tasted really bad, but you smell really good. I think you should add sunflower seeds to your next skele-gro batch, 'cause it'll make it taste better and then when she rebreaks my arm, I won't want to throw up.

Snape: Sunflower seeds?

Side note: 'I've examined the properties of the sunflower seed and I think Harry's idea has some merit. Although, how he came up with it is anyone's guess.'

Harry: Yeah. Three. Maybe four. I forget. Hey, did you know that I get my very own bed and it's just next door to Draco's room? I tried to visit him, but they kept saying he wasn't home, but he was, because he was hiding under his covers. I could smell him. You think he knows he smells like trees? I like trees. I like beds. Did you see my shoes? They're my very own. I put my name on the bottom of them, see? [Lifts foot for Snape to examine briefly].

Snape: I do see. How do trees smell?

Harry: Like the sun and desks and a little like thorns and stinging nettles. You think Draco will be at breakfast tomorrow? Vince says he will be, but that I won't have time to talk because I'll be eating the whole table. He's funny, don't you think? I can't eat a table, but I tried to eat my door once because I was so hungry. It didn't taste very good and I chipped a tooth. Do you think Draco would like my picture of him? I was going to show it to him, but he ran into it with his wand and it caught fire and I burnt my hand. See? [Shows Snape his burnt hand].

Snape: [Briefly frowning, summons a vial of burn paste and starts to cover Harry's hand with it]. You should have told me immediately that you were hurt.

Side note: 'Detention number three for Draco. I wonder how he would like it if I randomly caught his homework on fire?'

Harry: That tingles. It almost feels like the stinging hex that Draco wouldn't have sent at my head. He promised that it wasn't him. It just came from his wand because, because he was hexed first by a stupid Gryffindor. Did you know that Ron is a Gryffindor? He lives in a big tall tower. He shares a room with Neville. Did you know that Neville likes plants too? Plants talk to me sometimes, but sometimes they're allergic to me and I make them sneeze.

Side note: 'I think I'll just have Draco clean the entire dungeons by hand. With his toothbrush.'

Snape: [putting the burn paste away and summoning a vial of scar reducer]. This might be a bit cold, Harry. Let me see your left leg.

Harry: [lifts his trouser leg and reveals an angry red scar that runs up and down the length of his calf, wrapping around the back of his knee]

Snape: How did you get that scar?

Harry: Uncle thought I was a frog at dinner and tried to pull my leg off.

Side note: 'Definitely not sending him back to that house. I know of a few curses that remove body parts as well. I doubt you'd mind that much, Albus, especially if I didn't tell you. Ever.'

Snape: [rubbing the ointment into Harry's leg]. You should tell me or Vince if anyone tries to hurt you here at Hogwarts.

Harry: [eyes drooping sleepily] Okay 'fessor [drops his head on Snape's shoulder and then wraps thin arms around Snape's torso].

Side note: 'To say I was a bit surprised would be an understatement of vast proportion.'

Harry: I like it here. Don't send me back, please? [A few moments later and he is asleep].

End note: 'We will not be sending him back. I'm not entirely sure that Vernon Dursley will be alive at the end of next week either. Just a prediction—one that I had nothing to do with. Absolutely nothing. Nothing traceable anyway.'