Author's Note: Chapter 6, in which Sebastian sings the number he should have sung in the anime. Really, how awesome would it have been?
I'm so sorry this has taken so long. I got caught up with One Night Only. I wanted to write it before I forgot it, and then it took over my brain. That, and I've kinda been avoiding this chapter because Be Our Guest is really difficult to convert to text format. I hope I did it justice.
The next thing I update will be The Lion King.
Beauty and the Beast
Disclaimer: Alan Humphries, Eric Slingby, Sebastian Michaelis, Ciel Phantomhive, Grell Sutcliff, William T Spears and Bard belong to Yana Toboso. Beauty and the Beast belongs to Walt Disney. I own Lily and mashed everything together.
Chapter 6: Be Our Guest?
Hours passed after Alan and Eric's confrontation. Finally, Alan emerged from his room, his need for food overcoming his fear of Eric. Quietly, he pushed open the heavy doors of his room and crept out into the corridor. He carefully tiptoed down the hallway and down the stairs, looking for anything that resembled a kitchen. He walked past one of the curtains that covered the grand windows; three spots of light could be seen at the bottom. A few giggles echoed from behind the fabric, Sebastian's voice followed after,
"Oh yes" he purred,
"Oh yes yes yes!"
"Sebastian!" Ciel, the feather duster, appeared from behind the curtain "I've been burnt by you before". Sebastian appeared a moment later and took Ciel in his arms, laughing. He looked up briefly and caught sight of Alan disappearing down the hall. He gasped, dropping Ciel roughly on the floor,
"The boy, he has emerged!"
The rest of the castle servants were in the kitchens, tidying up the spoiled dinner. Grell was by the china cupboard, trying to convince Lily to climb in,
"Come on darling, into the cupboard with the others" he said,
"But I'm not sleepy!" said Lily, although her eyelids were beginning to droop. Grell smiled at her,
"Yes you are dear" he said, gently lifting her into the cupboard,
"No I'm not…" mumbled Lily, quickly falling asleep. Grell quietly closed the door. He jumped as several bangs and clashes echoed behind him,
"I work and I slave all day and for what? A culinary masterpiece gone to waste!" shouted the stove, clattering his pots and pans angrily. Grell sighed and hopped over,
"Bard stop your grousing, it's been a long night for all of us" he said,
"Well, if you ask me, the boy was just being plain stubborn" said William, as he wiped his hands on a handkerchief "After all, the Master did say please"
"Yes, but if the Master doesn't learn to control his temper, he'll never break the-"
"Splendid to see you out about Monsieur" said William, cutting Grell off just as Alan walked into the kitchen. He walked over and bowed,
"I am William T Spears, head of the household" he reached out to take Alan's hand, Sebastian ran into the kitchen and barged in front of him. William sighed,
"This is Sebastian",
"A pleasure to meet you, monsieur" said Sebastian. He began to kiss Alan's hand. William sighed again and tried to move him out of the way,
"If there's anything…Sebastian stop that…we can do….please…" he finally shoved Sebastian out of the way and smiled politely at Alan "To make your stay more comfortable?" Sebastian rolled his eyes and burnt William's hand with his flames. William yelped and glared at him. Alan laughed slightly,
"Well, I am a little hungry…" he said. Grell smiled,
"You hear that, loves? He's hungry!" he said "Stoke the fire; break out the silver, wake the china!" Bard quickly relit the flames underneath his pots. Cutlery and crockery burst from the cupboard, standing to attention on the worktops,
"Remember what the Master said!" hissed William. Grell glared at him,
"Oh tish tosh" he said "I'm not about to let the poor darling go hungry!"
"Alright fine!" said William "Glass of water, crust of bread, and then-"
"William, I'm surprised at you!" said Sebastian, pushing him slightly "He is not our prisoner, he's our guest, we must make him feel welcome here" he smiled up at Alan and lead him to the dining room. William sighed and followed,
"Alright, but keep it down" he said "If the Master finds out it'll be our necks!",
"Of course, of course" said Sebastian, rolling his eyes. He paused by the dining room doors and smirked, "But what is dinner, without a little music?". William stopped dead in his tracks,
"Music?" he shouted, eyes wide. Sebastian smirked again and let go of the door. It swung backwards, slamming into William and launching him across the kitchen into a bowl of pancake batter.
Sebastian chuckled to himself and took Alan the rest of the way into the grand dining room. Alan looked around in amazement as he walked to the end of the large mahogany dining table. Sebastian smiled and hopped up onto the shiny surface,
"My honoured guest, it gives me great pleasure to welcome you here tonight" he said, bowing "And now, we invite you to relax, let us pull up a chair…" Alan blinked in surprise as a high backed dining chair ran up behind him. He chuckled and politely sat down. Sebastian smiled and continued his introduction,
"The dining room will now present, your dinner" he waved one of his arms to the side, a full set of silver serving platters appeared on the table. Sebastian grinned smugly,
Be our guest,
Be our guest,
Put our service to the test,
Tie your napkin round your neck, my friend,
And we provide the rest.
The chair Alan was sat on lifted a napkin up to his neck, ready to tie it. Alan smiled and took the napkin, placing it neatly on his lap instead. Sebastian hopped over to the boy and began to offer up platters of food. Alan smiled, tasting each one,
Soup du jour, hot hors d'oeuvres,
Why we only live to serve!
Try the grey stuff, it's delicious,
Don't believe me, ask the dishes!
A large cabinet at the other end of the dining room opened suddenly. Dozens of plates and dishes rolled out and lined up on the table. They began to perform an elaborate dance routine in front of Alan. Sebastian danced with them, singing once more,
They can sing, they can dance,
After all, sir, this is France!
And the dinner here is never second best!
Go on, unfold your menu,
Take a glance and then you'll,
Be our Guest, yes, our guest,
Be our guest!
Sebastian hopped over to Alan, offering him a menu. He quickly hopped backwards; platters of food began to parade in front of him. Alan eagerly tasted them all as they passed by,
Beef ragout, cheese soufflé,
Pie and pudding, en flambé!
We'll prepare and serve with flair!
A culinary cabaret!
Alan removed the lid from a platter of blueberry pie. He gasped in shock when William appeared from the pastry. Sebastian smirked and set the platter ablaze with one of his candles. It exploded brightly for a second; William coughed and fell back into the pie, his face covered with soot. The platter quickly scurried away, the cutlery and crockery started up their dance routine once more
You're alone, and you're scared,
But the banquet's all prepared!
No one's gloomy or complaining,
While the flatware's entertaining!
We tell jokes, I do tricks,
With my fellow candlesticks!
The teaspoons lined up around the edge of a large punch bowl. They began to jump into the punch, beginning an elegant swimming routine. The punch began to stream like a fountain, propelling plates into the air. Sebastian was stood on the centre one, juggling his candlesticks gracefully. A collection of beer mugs danced in from the side, spilling foam all over the table,
And it's all in perfect taste,
That you can bet!
The mugs performed an energetic gymnastics routine, flipping themselves into the air with the help of the cutlery. William, who had just finished cleaning off the soot with a napkin, saw the mugs and gasped in alarm. He ran through them, trying in vain to quieten them down. The mugs ignored him and carried on the routine,
Go on and lift your glass!
You've won your own free pass!
To be our guest, be our guest, be our guest!
If you're stressed,
It's fine-dining we suggest!
Be our guest!
Be our guest!
Be our guest!
William continues to run around the beer mugs. Eventually he managed to grab the handle of one of them. The music began to soften, the tableware left the table. William froze as he realized he was now the centre of attention. The beer mug he was holding broke free and hopped away to join the others. Sebastian hopped over to stand with William; a spot light appeared over them,
Live is so unnerving,
For a servant who's not serving,
He's not whole without a soul to wait upon,
William grinned widely and tried to subtly sneak away. Sebastian quickly grabbed him and dragged him back under the spot light,
Ah, those good old days, when we were useful,
Suddenly, those good old days are gone,
Salt and pepper began to rain down onto the pair as Sebastian sang, creating the effect of snow. William sighed, shaking off the seasoning that had fallen on him. Sebastian grabbed William's arm, moving it so it squeaked,
Ten years we've been rusting!
Needing so much more than dusting,
Needing exercise, a chance to use our skill!
Sebastian began to dust the excess salt from William's head. The clock glared at him and once more tried to get away. Sebastian held William's ankle firmly. William tugged it away and tripped, landing head first in a large gelatine mold. Sebastian chuckled and hopped over,
Most days we just lay around the castle,
Flabby, fat and lazy,
You walked in and oops-a-daisy!
Sebastian jumped onto the gelatine spoon, William screamed as he was catapulted through the air and back into the kitchen. Just like the dining room, it too was getting into the spirit of the music. Wine bottles and napkins danced around. Grell giggled as he danced around the bubbles from the sinks,
It's a guest! It's a guest!
Sakes alive, well I'll be blessed!
Wine's been poured and thank the Lord,
I've had the napkins freshly pressed,
Grell hopped across the counter toward the stove. He jumped between the pots and pans onto the burner,
With dessert, he'll want tea,
And my love, that's fine with me,
While the cups do their soft-shoeing,
I'll be bubbling, I'll be brewing,
I'll get warm, piping hot!
Heaven sakes, is that a spot?
Clean it up!
We want the company impressed!
A spare napkin flew out of the cupboard and promptly cleaned away the spot Grell had found while he was heating up. He grinned and hopped out of the burner onto his tea cart. It quickly rolled out of the kitchen and into the dining room. A cup quickly hopped onto the table over to Alan,
We've got a lot to do!
Is it one lump, or two?
For you, our guest!
He's our guest!
He's our guest!
He's our guest
Be our guest! Be our guest!
Our command is your request!
It's been ten years since we had anybody here,
And we're obsessed!
The plates and cutlery quickly flooded the table once more, each one doing its own dance routine. Even Ciel and the other feather dusters joined in, standing in a line and doing their own version of the French Can-Can,
With your meal, with your ease,
Yes indeed, we aim to please,
While the candle light's still glowing,
Let us help you, we'll keep going…
The candles lined up along the table and along with the fine china. The music began to swell, the china and candles began an elaborate routine, finally ending with Sebastian on top of a large cake,
Course by course!
One by one!
Till you shout, "Enough I'm done!"
Then we'll sing you off to sleep as you digest!
One of the feather dusters began singing opera style. Every piece of table, kitchen and dining ware had joined in for the finale. Even William had succumbed to the music and joined in the dancing, albeit rather badly,
Tonight you'll prop your feet up,
But for now let's eat up!
Be our guest!
Be our guest!
Please be our guest!
The enchanted objects struck dramatic poses to finish the song. Sebastian slid across the table, knocking William out of the way as the music ended. Alan laughed and begin applauding,
"Bravo! Bravo!" he said, smiling, "That was wonderful!". The objects bowed and began to leave the table. William walked over to Alan, smiling smugly,
"Thank you, thank you, monsieur" he said "Yes, good show, wasn't it? Everyone" he applauded the remaining objects. The last fork scampered back to the kitchen; William yawned and pointed at his face,
"Goodness, look at the time" he said "Now it's off to bed, off to bed". He began shooing Alan with his hands. Alan shook his head,
"I couldn't possibly go to sleep now" he said, standing from his chair "It's my first time in an enchanted castle". William grinned and chuckled nervously,
"Enchanted! Who said anything about it being enchanted?" Sebastian hopped up behind him, William immediately jumped on him "It was you wasn't it?" The pair began fighting, rolling along the table. Alan blushed slightly and smiled,
"I, uh, figured it out for myself" he said. William and Sebastian froze mid fight. William immediately dropped Sebastian and dusted himself off, pretending nothing had happened. Sebastian grumbled and carefully repaired his nose. Alan stood up and carefully smoothed down his apron,
"I'd like to look around, if that's alright?" he asked. Sebastian grinned and hopped forward,
"Oh, would you like a tour?" he asked,
"Wait a second, wait a second, I'm not sure that's a good idea" said William. He pulled Sebastian aside, "We can't have him poking around in certain places, if you know what I mean". Sebastian sighed in annoyance. Alan grinned at William,
"Perhaps you'd like to take me" he said, gently poking William's tummy "I'm sure you know everything there is to know about the castle". William chuckled and smiled, very flattered,
"Well actually, yes, I do".
Additional Note: Because my inner Grell is begging me:
Grell: *sneaks up to William and pokes his belly*
William: *giggles like a girl* *glares* Sutcliff!
Grell: *skips away giggling*