The DYAC Contest
Pen Name: SueBee0619
Rating: M
Word Count: 3,111
Prompt Picture #: 2
Pairing: Edward/Bella
Summary: A couple deeply in love and willing to explore each other's fantasies. Throw in some distractions, a few assumptions, and an ill-timed auto correct and you have the perfect recipe for an "udder" misunderstanding.

Disclaimer: Edward and Bella belong to SMeyer and there is no offense intended in regards to the fetish mentioned. My motto is live and let live, so if this is your thing, then have at it and have fun. I also have mad respect for anyone who is brave enough to just put all of their fantasies and desires out there. Given the prompt, however, I just couldn't resist writing this.

An Udder Misunderstanding


"HOLY SHIT! You have to come take a look at this!"

I am just starting to cook a late dinner when, all of a sudden, Bella yells for me from the living room.

"No, really, babe. You have GOT to see this! Dinner can wait."

Well, ok then. I walk towards the living room, wondering what she could possibly be looking at. When I got off the couch not even ten minutes ago, she was checking her e-mail. Ah, maybe one of her fan fictions had updated. Well, this could be interesting… we've certainly gotten some ideas from her fics before. I know my brother complains that his wife, Rose, spends too much time "reading that crap" as he calls it, but I am more than happy to reap the benefits of Bella's guilty pleasure in the bedroom. And the kitchen. And the car. And in the alley outside the bar that one time. You get the idea. I start getting hard just thinking about all the different scenarios that could play out later tonight.

When I walk into the room, I see Bella gaping at her laptop screen in utter disbelief. I walk over and sit behind her on the couch and stretch my legs around hers, so that her back is leaning against my chest. I peer over her shoulder at the laptop so I can see what all the commotion is about. It was a website about… hucows?

"Bella? What am I looking at?"

"Babe… Alice sent me this link to this website. Apparently there are women who like to be treated like they're cows. It's a fetish… about cows! Now, I'm all about live and let live, and if this is what does it for them, then good for them, but cows? I can't even wrap my head around it."

She keeps talking, but my brain has already moved on… picturing Bella on her hands and knees as I fuck her hard from behind in the empty barn on my parents' property. Picturing Bella in a cowgirl outfit riding the hell out of me. Huh, I wonder how she'd feel about assless chaps? I can feel myself getting even harder, my mind spinning out of control. God, I love her and her willingness to try new things. Not the hucow thing… I don't think I could ever be into that and I don't think it's something she would be into, either. I like some kink and I like our kink, but that feels like it's too far outside my comfort zone.

No matter how hard I try to focus on Bella's words, I just can't. My mind is stuck on my fantasies and I know the chances of me getting back to making dinner are slim to none.

All of a sudden, I realize that Bella is silent and has turned slightly, gazing at me expectantly. Ah, crap. I think she asked me a question and I have no idea what it was. Considering we just had an argument the other night about me not listening to her when she was talking to me, I know I can't tell her I missed the question. I answer with a noncommittal, "Mmm…"

She looks at me a little funny and then asks, "So, is it something you've done before, then?"

Ah, shit. Now I really have no idea what she is asking. She must have moved on from the hucows, right? I look at her and I'm sure she can see panic in my eyes. Just as I am about to admit defeat and wave goodbye to the possibility of sex tonight, she stutters out, "Ummm… uh… never mind…"

I sigh in relief, glad I escaped that one unscathed. I cup her chin and pull Bella's lips to mine and kiss her deeply, visions of bending her over the couch taking over my mind. It's not the barn, but that can wait. The couch has made for some amazing fucking nights. Pun very much intended.


What. The. Fuck?

I'm sitting here, talking about hucows and how they actually hook the women up to milkers (um, ouch, by the way) and Edward is getting a hard on? Fuck! Is this something he'd be into? Is this something he's already been into and didn't tell me about? I mean, I know we've stretched our boundaries lately, but cows? Really? I love him and I love that we can be adventurous together, but I just don't know if I can do that for him. I start to panic as I read more information to him and he starts breathing heavier. I can feel him getting harder behind me, and my mind reels, picturing him in the scenario I just read. OK, I need to calm down and ask him if this is something he'd be into. No reason to assume anything, right? Right. Early on in our relationship, we agreed that no fantasy was out of bounds to discuss and seriously consider. I know this will test that for me, but I have to ask him.

"So, babe? Is this something you're interested in doing? I'm not sure how I feel about it, but if you're into it, then I'll look into it. Edward? Edward? Seriously, is this a fantasy of yours?"

Silence. All I hear is silence. Oh, God. I take a deep breath, turn around, and see him with his eyes closed, breathing heavily, and I can feel that his cock is as hard as I've ever seen it. He opens his eyes, looks at me for a moment, and then lets out a breathy "Mmm…"

Oh shit. Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit. I look at him and my voice wavers a little when I ask, "So is it something you've done before, then?" The absolute panic in his eyes clues me in that maybe this is something I don't want the answer to right now. Before he can answer, I stutter, "Ummm… uh… never mind…"

He sighs in obvious relief that he escaped my question, and I'm scared of what that means, but I'm distracted by him pulling me into a hard, passionate kiss and lose myself in the moment. As always happens when he kisses me, the world fades away, and we become encased in our own little bubble of passion and love.

Our kisses become harder, tongues greedily pushing into mouths and entangling with each other. I turn the rest of the way around so that I'm straddling Edward's hips, grinding against him as he yanks my shirt off and kisses down my neck, spending extra time on the spots he knows make me crazy. His tongue swirls and his teeth nip at the base of my neck just above my collarbone, making me moan loudly and grind harder as I feel myself getting wet. He keeps licking down while he unhooks my bra and tosses it across the room, finally licking and sucking and biting one nipple, while tweaking the other with his fingers and the feeling… oh god, that feeling… I arch back in pleasure, reveling in the electricity pulsing between us. God, this man can play my body like no other. I yank his shirt off over his head as he pushes me back on the sofa cushions, undoing my jeans as he does. He frantically yanks them down with my underwear, leaving me completely naked and waiting for him. He gazes down at me in awe, making me feel like the sexiest woman alive. This beautiful man loves me. Wants me. Is frantic to be inside me. He reaches down and starts rubbing my clit, hitting just the right spot, and I can feel the pressure build in me and my muscles start to tense. I'm honestly so turned on at this point that I just want him in me. Fuck more foreplay, I want him pounding into me. I unbutton his jeans and realize he's gone commando, just for me. He knows how much I love that and, although it's not his favorite thing, he'll surprise me from time to time, knowing how turned on it makes me. I reach in and grab his hard cock, stroking it fast and not being gentle at all. He throws his head back and lets out a guttural groan.

"Turn over," he orders through clenched teeth. As I do, I feel him move off of me and grasp my hips. He instructs me to slide back and he lifts my hips over the arm of the couch. He knows that I want hard and fast; he always knows what I need without me having to say it. And even when he's preparing to fuck me, my sweet boyfriend is still there. He kisses me lightly on the nape of my neck and whispers in my ear, "Are you ready, love? Is this ok?"

I groan. "Oh God, yes. Fuck me, Edward. Fuck me hard."

I can feel him smile against my neck before he pulls back and slams into me, his cock thrusting deep, both of us groaning. He angles himself so that he's hitting my spot and all you can hear are groans, an occasional whispered "Fuck" and the sound of skin slapping against skin. Each time he enters me, my pelvis rubs against the arm of the couch and I can feel my muscles tensing more. Neither of us are going to last long like this, the sensations are simply too intense, but fuck, is it good.

All of a sudden, he reaches down and wraps my hair around his fist and pulls lightly. I pinch my nipples and that's all I need to reach that wonderful moment of pure bliss, right before I fall over the edge and shudder around him in an intense orgasm that has me calling out his name. I can feel him starting to thrust erratically, a guttural roar escaping his throat as he cums inside me. Completely spent, we're both breathing heavily and unable to move after this intense experience. He leans over my back, trailing light kisses down my spine as he whispers, "I love you so much, my sweet and dirty girl. So very, very much."

When we've both caught our breath, he guides me back to curl up on the sofa with him, and pulls a blanket over us. After one final kiss, we both doze off, all thoughts other than the love I feel for this man pushed out of my head.

While I'm at work the next day, I'm not very busy and can't help but replay the hucow conversation in my mind. I had to have misunderstood him, right? I try to push it out of my head, but it keeps popping back up. While trying to distract myself, I realize I should bake tonight for an office party later this week and mentally run through the ingredients I need. I have everything but the milk. A convenience store is on the way home from Edward's office, so I shoot him a quick text.

Hey babe please pick up some white whore milk. We are out. Xoxo

Dammit. Fucking autocorrect. I roll my eyes, but don't fix it because he'll know what I mean. I know he has meetings most of the day, so I don't expect to hear back from him very fast. My low battery indicator flashes on my phone and I hope it lasts until I get a text back, so I know whether I need to go to the store or if he can take care of it. I have got to remember to bring my charger back to the office tomorrow.

As the afternoon drags on, I can feel myself obsessing over the conversation we had last night. I keep wavering between panic and resolve that, if this is something he really wants me to do, I'll keep my mind open and do the research to see if it's something I can handle.

Finally, my phone chimes with a text message.

Sure. I know a lot of white whores but they get mad when I milk them.

Wait, what? As I sit at my desk, gaping at my phone, it powers down. The full force of what I just read hits me, and the phrase "when I milk them" goes around in circles in my head. I am in full out panic mode and my breathing speeds up. I try to get myself to calm down and finally manage to get my breathing under control, although I have no luck slowing my brain down. I can tell I'm going to be useless the rest of the day, so I leave early, still trying to wrap my head around the very idea of hucows, let alone Edward possibly having any kind of history with them and being interested in trying that with me.

Driving home, I pass a Halloween costume store and get a burst of inspiration. Even if I decide that I can't do the full hucow thing, maybe there IS something I can do for him. I stroll through the aisles and can't believe what I find. I guess technically it's a "sexy cowgirl" costume, complete with skirt, vest, and bra, but it's made out of cow print material and it's something I think I can work with. And much to my surprise, there are some small cowbells hanging next to it. I know I have some black ribbon at home that I can turn into a choker, so I grab one of those too. I figure if I add my thigh high boots to the whole ensemble, I should be good to go.

I realize that my little side trip has taken more time than I thought, so I rush home to change and surprise Edward. I'm a little nervous, but I've dressed up for him before and I try to convince myself that this is no different, even though I know in the back of my mind that it is.

I rush inside and change into the skirt and vest, deciding to forgo the bra, and slip on my thigh high boots. I tousle my hair so I look "freshly fucked" as Edward likes to call it, and tie the small bell around my neck as the finishing touch. When I look in the mirror at the finished product, I realize that it's not too bad or too far over the line and that gives me the small boost of confidence I need. I hear the car pull into the driveway and drape myself in the hall doorway so he'll see me as soon as he walks in the house. My heart is beating a mile a minute when I hear his keys in the door.

He walks in holding the milk I asked him to get in one hand, and turns to close and lock the door behind him. He turns back around and finally sees me, his eyes going wide, the container of milk forgotten as he drops it on the floor. His eyes rove over me hungrily and I see them darken with lust as he groans and walks over to me. He grinds his now hard cock up against me, growling, "My very own cowgirl… were you reading my mind last night?" He pulls me in for a hard, passionate kiss and immediately peels back the vest, kneading my breasts with his hands and tweaking my nipples as he kisses down my neck. He stops when he gets to the choker and pulls back a little, glancing at my neck. Once the bell registers with him, I see absolute confusion enter his eyes and he looks at me questioningly.

"Baby? Why are you wearing a cowbell?"

"Well, I figured this was a way for me to ease into things. I don't know if I can do the whole thing, to be honest, but I love you and I want to at least try what I'm comfortable with now before I look into everything else."

His brow furrows, and he looks even more confused. And now I'm absolutely bewildered by his reaction. This is what he wants, right?

"Bella, I have no idea what you're talking about. Ease into what? Dressing up as a cowgirl and riding me? We've done costumes before, and fuck knows I love it when you're on top, so I'm confused. What are you easing into?"

"Well, hucows." I get no response, so I continue. "You seemed interested in it last night so, even though I don't think I can do the whole thing, I wanted to surprise you and give you this."

Several emotions flicker across his face - shock, concern, and, finally, amusement. He starts to chuckle and I start getting annoyed and, honestly, a little hurt.

"You thought… I was into hucows?" he manages to spit out between guffaws. He glances at me and sees how upset I'm getting, immediately stops laughing, and looks at me with concern. He gently asks me, "Baby, why would you think that?"

"Well, when we were talking about it last night, you got all turned on, and then when I asked you about it, you moaned! And then you panicked when I asked if you had done it before! What was I supposed to think?"

All of the blood drains from Edward's face. "Oh baby, I was imagining you bent over in my parent's barn while I took you from behind. And in a cowgirl costume. And maybe in a pair of assless chaps. The hucow thing did nothing for me. Nothing at all. It was you who turned me on so much. Only you." He pulls me into his arms and kisses my head, comforting me.


"Yes, really, baby. You are so fucking sexy and I love that you would do something like this for me."

As I breathe a sigh of relief, I think back to our conversation from last night and take a step back. "Wait. So why did you moan when I asked if it was something you would be into?" Edward starts running his hands through his hair and drops his eyes to the floor, a sure sign he is nervous about what he is about to tell me. I hear him mumble a response even though I can't quite tell what he said. Realization dawns on me and my hands instantly move to my hips.

"Edward Cullen! After everything we talked about last week, are you trying to tell me you weren't listening to me and THAT'S why I'm standing here dressed as a fucking cow?"

A/N As with most fics, I couldn't have done this without some amazing ladies who have my back in all things, but especially with this. My gorgeous prereaders were SweetPoeticJustice, Nikita2009, and 107yearoldvirgin, and my beta was the amazing LaMomo, the beta nazi. Yes, be scared, the beta nazi and the beta fairy joined forces. And massive thank yous to Ryden Dirtay, DreamersDaze and BellaDonnaCullen for talking me off the ledge. It was much needed and much appreciated. And last, but not least, the lovely ladies of FIP and WPoF who encourage my insanity… you make me laugh, you make me smile, but most of all you make me feel incredibly lucky to have become friends with you all.