Disclaimer: I do not own Uta no Prince-sama or the characters.
Notes: Time for the kissing to advance! But, my need to write angst came out in what should've been fluffy. Oh well, it still has a happy ending, at least. Anyway, Natsuki and Sho are in a romantic relationship, meaning this fic is filled with shounen-ai. If you don't like it, please leave. If you enjoy it or can tolerate it, then please enjoy this.
Their kisses have been chaste thus far. The only reason is because Sho doesn't feel ready to move to the next stage when it comes to kissing. Natsuki does understand that, but he fears something else might be up.
What if Sho-chan doesn't love me in that way after all? What if it's really just love as a friend? Oh no...have I been forcing myself on him in such a way? How can I call myself his friend if I do that to him?
Sho left the shop, a bag of ten lollipops in hand. Maybe with this I can get enough skill. He opened the bag and took out one of the lollipops. He unwrapped it, dropping the wrappers into the bag, and then stuck it in his mouth. He started to suck on it, wrapping his tongue around the sweet ball currently in his mouth. Yeah, this'll definitely help! I've got to remember to thank Otoya for the idea later! He made his way back to the dorm. He had a feeling Natsuki would be in the room, waiting for his return. He chuckled to himself. What costume will it be today? Sure, the costume demands got to be annoying, but Sho found himself sometimes enjoying it too, just so long as the costume isn't overly cute and fluffy.
Natsuki sat on his bed and waited for Sho's return. They were going to need to have a serious talk. He looked up as he heard the click of the door opening. "Sho-chan?"
Sho stepped into the room. "Hey, Nacchan." He pulled the lollipop out of his mouth. Something was off. "Is something the matter? You'd normally glomp me the second I stepped in, but you're just sitting there." He hurriedly stepped over to him and placed his hand on his forehead. "Are you sick?"
"No, I'm not sick. I've just been in thought."
"Do you want to share it with me?" He sat beside his childhood friend and boyfriend. "I'm all ears."
Natsuki nodded. "How much do you really love me?"
"Huh?" That was not something he was expecting. "Why are you questioning my feelings for you? I love you, I'm in love with you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I love you in the way society isn't agreeable with. I love you in the way that could get us expelled if we were caught. Is that enough to explain?"
Natsuki nodded, relief washing over him. "It is."
"So, spill. Why were you questioning my feelings? It hurt that you had to ask that, you know."
"I've just been worried...it's stupid, but it's..."
"Come on, out with it."
"Our kissing? Wait, so you questioned my feelings because I hadn't wanted to use tongue yet?"
He nodded sheepishly and looked at the floor.
"I can't believe you." Sho grabbed Natsuki by his cheeks and turned him to look at him. "I really can't believe you. Of all of the reasons..." He sighed. "Natsuki."
Natsuki's eyes widened. Sho had been calling him Nacchan since their relationship had developed, after their first lovers quarrel. This was serious.
"What are your feelings for me? If you loved me, wouldn't you just accept that I wasn't ready? I mean, sure, you didn't suddenly grab me and force your way in there, and I know you'd never do that. But, questioning my feelings just for that, it really hurt to think you'd be so..." He tried to find the right word.
"You were what?"
"I was...afraid..." He closed his eyes. "Sho-chan...I was afraid that all you felt was friendship after all, and that I'd been forcing myself on you in such a way that I don't deserve to be your friend."
He sighed again. "Natsuki, not once had you forced yourself on me, dress-up time not counted." He smirked slightly at that and saw Natsuki smile slightly. His expression became serious again. "We've known each other for years, and as kids, didn't you kiss me on the cheek every so often? We're older now, so a kiss on the lips is something we know about. Even if we weren't in the relationship we have now, I don't think I'd mind a few kisses now and then. Remember last year at that Christmas party? How you got me under the mistletoe and everyone saw us share a kiss? Even if it was just tradition, I didn't mind it. Because it was you. I can trust you to not go any further than you should. I mean, we won't be able to...you know...until I'm eighteen."
Natsuki nodded. "I've decided that would be your birthday present from me on that night."
"It's your birthday too. So, how would we fix it that it was special for both of us?"
"I'd let you top that night."
"Anyway, we're getting off-topic. We'll discuss that later, okay? Now, as I was saying, even if we were just friends, a few kisses wouldn't be so bad. But, we're not just friends anymore, we're more than that. Just because I wasn't ready to advance doesn't mean I feel less for you. You should understand that."
"I do now. But, Sho-chan, why weren't you ready?"
"I didn't think I was going to be skilled enough..."
"I wanted to make it enjoyable, but I might be too stiff."
"There is no way that would matter. I've never kissed anyone in such a way before, we're both as unexperienced as each other." He wrapped his arms around Sho. "I wish you'd told me sooner so I could ease that concern of yours. I was being truly selfish before with my question, and it was very stupid of me to have questioned your feelings. I'm very sorry for being such an idiot. Can you forgive me?"
"I always will, no matter how much of an idiot you are." He returned the embrace and kissed Natsuki's cheek. "Because you'll always be my idiot."
"That's mean..." Natsuki pretended to pout over being called an idiot.
"No, it's not. Because I love you as the goof you are; even though you drive me insane sometimes, I'd still rather you be the complete goofball I've known since childhood."
Natsuki chuckled. "So, you're my cute and small Sho-chan, and I'm your goofball?"
Sho laughed quietly. "Something like that."
They sat there for a while, both feeling content. "Hey, Nacchan?"
"You might've been a bit selfish before." He felt him tense. "But, I can understand your anxiety. You were worried you'd be hurt by someone else you love, weren't you? Well, I'll tell you this. I will never, ever play around with your feelings. I might say or do things that are likely to hurt your feelings, but it will never be intentional. The last thing I want to do is hurt you, unlike that woman in the past." He knew Natsuki was still a long way to go from letting go of the woman he'd once loved, the woman who'd hurt him deeply. "I'll never hurt you intentionally."
"I know, Sho-chan." He closed his eyes and let out a soft sigh. "But, after what happened, I can't help but fear it will happen again..."
"I know." He tightened his embrace. "But, you need to let her go. Don't allow her actions to bring about your anxieties."
"Okay. I'm going to try."
"She hurt you deeply, and I understand that. It's hard to completely heal from pain of that kind. But, you're not alone. I'll help you heal. I said that the day you told me and the following day when you went through your breakdown."
He nodded quietly.
"I'm ready now."
"To try kissing you."
He pulled back and saw Sho was serious. There was still some anxiety in his baby blue eyes. Natsuki smiled gently and rested a hand on Sho's cheek, still holding his beloved with his other arm. "Alright, Sho-chan. We might be a bit clumsy, but that doesn't matter. I love you, and I just want to share this with you."
"I love you too, Nacchan." He closed his eyes as Natsuki leaned in closer.
The kiss started out chaste, as familiar as anything to them. It seemed almost like the kiss was going to stay that way again, but Sho quickly pushed his tongue out from between his lips to let Natsuki know he was ready.
Natsuki opened his mouth slightly and returned the light prod with his own tongue. He licked Sho's bottom lip, calling for the other tongue to come out and join the dance.
Heart racing, Sho parted his lips and allowed his tongue to meet Natsuki's for the first time. It was gentle nudges at first, as if asking if it was alright to visit the other's home. He carefully slipped past and started to explore the new place.
Natsuki squeezed his eyes shut and leaned even closer as he tentatively slipped his oral organ into Sho's mouth. He touched the roof and heard a slight whimper coming from Sho. He felt Sho do the same in his mouth and he could see just why Sho had made such a sound. It was quite pleasurable.
He pulled his tongue back slightly so it was able to meet with Natsuki's again. He imagined he was sucking on one of the lollipops he'd purchased and started winding his tongue around it's new friend.
Sho-chan...this feels amazing... Natsuki started to return the favour, and danced with Sho in the expanded cavern that was their joined mouths.
Sho kept a steady beat going, so the dance could be enjoyable for both.
But, soon, it had to end. They pulled back from the kiss, leaving a reminder of their first dance in the form of a trail of their mixed saliva connecting them. Natsuki's cheeks were pink and his green eyes were shining so bright they looked like polished emeralds. "Sho-chan, that was incredible."
"Those lollipops really helped out."
"Ah, so that's why you had them! Well, even if you hadn't, I would've enjoyed it anyway. But, the lollipops did help add a very sweet flavour."
Sho chuckled and pulled Natsuki into another embrace. He rested his head in the crook of Natsuki's neck. "I thought that would help out. And you know, you were pretty good too. Are you sure you hadn't practiced before?"
"Practiced? With what?"
"Anything you can wrap your tongue around."
"No, it was just instinct. I love to hug you, so I just followed through with that."
Sho couldn't hold back full-blown laughter at Natsuki's comment. It sounded about right, after all.