here, have some more Gabriel. Set somewhere from during 7x02 to present, I guess spoilers for series 7?

disclaimer: does it look like I own Supernatural? No. I didn't think so.

When I fell, it hurt.

Like fuck.

I mean, cutting out your Grace and busting your way out of the pearly gates? It's gonna hurt, right?

The thing is, that wasn't even what hurt most.

You see, Balthazar came with. Faked his death. Rather, I faked killing him, and left on my own rather than having Dad do it for me. At least I managed to keep my Grace with me for long enough to make myself a decent vessel and put it in—and let me tell you, it's not an experience I want to repeat. Hanging around as pure soul? Fucking unsettling, man.

Although I have to say, falling wasn't nearly as painful as being killed.

Yeah, being killed. That really puts a downer on your day. I mean, not that it wasn't heroic and noble, getting the Winchesters (and Kali, I suppose) out of Lucifer's way for the minute, but really—I didn't have much of a choice. I do have morals, despite what people think. I'm the archangel Gabriel, fuck it, of course I have a sense of right and wrong. I just… really didn't want to try and kill Lucifer. No matter what, he's still my brother.

I feel bad about Castiel as well, I suppose. The least I could've done would have been to nudge him back on the right track—what with the civil war upstairs, who wouldn't be making some shady decisions? Crowley? The guy's okay for a demon, I guess, but—Crowley, Castiel? Really?

I guess none of this matters any more. Sammy threw Lucifer back in the cage, sure, but the world still looks like it's ending, what with the leviathans running wild around the planet, especially given that they're trying to kill the Winchester boys… Castiel is gone, as far as I can tell, and all the human-sympathetic angels I know of are dead. It doesn't help that there were only about three of us in the first place, mind.

And God? Don't even get me started on God. Dead? Gone? Missing? Walking the Earth? I don't know what to believe any more. Wherever he is, I'm pretty certain he doesn't care.

And the worst part of all?

I still see everything.

Wherever I'm stuck, I can still watch what's going on, every time someone I care about gets hurt, whenever Sammy or Dean-o gets beaten up, everything. And I can't do anything about it.

And I'm on my own.