Author's Note: 'sigh' Why do I have the strangest feeling that I'm going to lose readers because of this fic?
I'm doing something a little different with this fic that I haven't seen done any of the other Michael POV of Book 3, so... please don't hate me for it.
I said right when I started writing book 1 from his POV, that I was going to do things differently and out of the box... well this fic will defiantly be thinking out of the box for a certain character, I don't want to be boo'd for it. This fic is to be enjoyed (It is also fanfiction), so no bashing what so ever and if you don't like what I'm doing with this fic or rather with a character, let me know and I will try to make it up to you in another way.
Ok, with that all said and hopefully I haven't scared people off already, please enjoy this fic, I've written it for your and mine entertainment.
Disclaimer: Obviously I am not Meg Cabot, if I was The Mediator series would be longer, Princess Diaries would be a tiny bit different in certain parts and yeah, I'm not Meg.
CracKing: Third Times the Charm
If you love someone, set them free. If they come back they're yours. If they don't, they never were.
I've never been one who despairs over something. Obsessed over something, yeah sometimes; Buffy for example. But despair over something? Yeah not so much.
But that was basically what I was doing right now. Despairing over the fact that it looked like I was never going to be with the girl I so desperately wanted to have in my arms.
Desperately, desperately want her to be mine.
And before you say anything, this is not just some silly schoolboy crush that'll just go away over time; I know that more than anything. I've had crushes before this, not many, but enough to know what they feel like when I don't get the girl and they never felt anything like this, and this was nothing like those times.
I love her, simple as that.
Actually it's not simple at all, well except being in love with her. That is surprisingly easy, trying to force myself to stop loving her, that's the hard part. Try as I might, I just can't. I can't stop loving her, even though I know that I'll never be with her.
She's a princess and I'm her best friend's dorky, computer nerd, three year older, older brother. Also she happens to have a boyfriend, who I have been fighting against the urge to wipe his face across the floor for the past week.
I heard the phone ring and heard Mom answer it. After a few moments, she called my name.
"Michael? It's for you." With a sigh of annoyance, I swung myself off my bed and out of my bedroom. Mom handed me the phone, grabbing her purse as she did so. Her and Dad were going out for the afternoon and evening. Lilly as well.
I gave them a brief wave goodbye before heading back to my room, pressing the phone to my ear and saying a cautious, though also rather robotic, "Hello?"
'Hi Michael. It's Judith Gershner,' I know who you are Judith; I recognised her voice the moment she said hi. "I was wondering if I could come over."
"Why?" I asked rather blankly.
'I thought we might work on the game for our booth. You know were the only ones who are actually putting any effort into it.' A bit harsh, but actually true. But the only reason I am putting so much effort into it was because it was something to keep my mind off the fact that I lost her.
"Ah, sure, yeah come over now if you want."
"Cool, see you soon."
A little too soon, really.
About fifteen minutes later she was at my front door.
"Hi." She said, maybe a little too brightly and her eyes seemed to be a little red.
"Hi." I said cautiously back, "are you ok?"
"What? Oh, I'm fine." She said with fake cheer but I didn't call her up on it. Why bother? Seriously. Instead I lead her to my room for us to start working on the program that we were going to show at the Winter Carnival.
We worked on it for maybe fifteen before she kissed me, right on the mouth.
It wasn't exactly terrible. She knew how to kiss; it was just the fact that she was the wrong girl. Which was why I pulled back.
"What are you doing? Why did you do that?" I asked staring at her in bewilderment.
"Just because." She moved to kiss me again, but I forced my head back even further so that she ended up kissing my chin.
"Why?" I asked again.
"Because I want to and…"
"You have a boyfriend." I reminded her forcibly.
"Who's cheating on me." she counted coldly back.
"So you want to get back at him by kissing me?" I demanded, feeling furious at the thought that I was simply being used, that she was kissing me not because she liked me or anything, but simply to get back at her boyfriend.
"No. Well, in a way yes. But mostly I want to kiss you because I want to. I've wanted to for ages." This didn't make me feel any better.
"But you still want to get back at him right?"
"Like you don't have someone you secretly want to get back at too." She replied and I felt like she had stabbed me.
I scowled at her furiously and pushed her away.
"I'm not doing this. You have a boyfriend…"
"Who's cheating on me." she reminded me, "and you have no one." Yeah, thanks for rubbing some more salt into the wound. No, really, thanks so much, I thought angrily back at her.
She moved forward again and wrapped her arms around my neck.
"I really do like you, Michael." She said as she lightly pressed her lips against mine.
"Still doesn't change the fact that you're with someone else." But despite myself, despite all the reason and morals running around my head, my body was failing me completely and I was letting myself kiss her lightly back.
"And that you like someone else." She said it lightly but I could hear the hurt in her voice.
I opened my mouth to say something, to protest or fight more against what she wanted and what my body was happily agreeing to, but was shut up from saying anything by her tongue invading my mouth.
I'm ashamed to admit it, but I caved pretty quickly after that, to her wishes. I should have fought more, argued that this was wrong, but at that moment I truly hadn't cared, I just caved to what she wanted.
Which was a lot more than I had originally thought. Kissing is one thing, sex is a completely different kettle of fish and yet somehow we ended up doing that too.
To tell the truth, it wasn't that great.
I didn't enjoy the experience at all. Ok, scratch that, my body did, but my head and heart, they weren't really in it. Especially my heart, which just shut down during the act.
I tried, I tried to forget, to just live in the moment of it, but I couldn't, it felt wrong somehow even though I was venting out all my frustration and loneliness, but then maybe that was why it felt wrong because the only things that were being felt during it, were all negative. It had nothing to do with love or anything like that. It was just hormones running awry and the desire to get back at the people who had hurt us, even though they were likely never to know about this.
I certainly wasn't going to bring this up with Mia, not that there would ever be a reason for it come up.
"Thanks." She said afterwards, when we were done.
"Uh huh." I said without any real feeling behind it.
I was a robot again. But even so, even in my robotic state, when she kissed me, I kissed her back, all the while thinking that this should have been Mia.
And hating the fact that it wasn't.
Author's Note: Just so you know, this chapter was as fun for me to write as it probably was for all of you to read, which is... it wasn't fun at all.
Why, you might ask, did I put this right at the beginning of the fic? My answer is, because I wanted to get it over with as quickly as humanly possible.
I honestly did not enjoy writing this. Actually I honestly haven't enjoyed writing most of the chapters of this fic, but don't worry, it will be written.
Anyway, thanks for reading and you know comments are much loved and appreciated.