A/N: Don't own anything but the plot.



Rated M

Summary: Bella is in a dangerous depression and marriage, She can't get out without risking everything she holds dear to her heart. What will she do when one of her friends founds out about her deadly secret?

F.E.A.R= Face Everything And Recover? OR Fuck Everything And Run?

Which one will Bella choose?



Has been my best friend since the age of twelve.

I knew my life wouldn't become glamorous or happy after I was blamed for my sister death. At the age of twelve, I was fighting a deadly battle with depression, suicide, anxiety, and guilt everyday. I was struggling and there was no one there to help. My mother disown me and my father ignored me.

It was my fault.

I somewhat forgave myself but not fully, I do believe it was my fault, I was there that day. I could've save her but I couldn't swim….I couldn't fucking swim.

She was five years old.

She was beautiful…more beautiful than I could ever be, she was younger but she was there light as I was there boring light switch. I kept telling her to stay away from the pool but she didn't listen, my mother found me trying to pull Isabel out the water…almost drowning myself.

My mother never said a word to me after the funeral.

My father tried to ease my pain but it was no use, he turned to the bottle as my mother turned to church and prescription pills. I watched as both my parents lost their battles of depression, I always wondered what will take me out.

Pills? Like my mother

Or alcohol? Like my father

Either way…it will happen, I just need to wait and let the pain take over. Losing my entire family and put in foster care was heart wrenching, I am surprised I am still alive. I can see the sad looks and sorrow people throw at me when they read my files, I was in the system for three years until I was finally adopted but quickly sent back.

Fucking foster father couldn't keep his hands to himself

My life was spiraling farther and farther into darkness and depression that I didn't care anymore,

I didn't care about forgiveness. I didn't care about love.

Until….he came into my life.

Michael General.

He came into my life when I was holding on to my last string of fight, he came into my life silently and I was taken by surprise. We were co workers, he was my boss and I was his faithful assistant. He was sweet and patience, a real charmer…I thought God was playing a trick on me because, my life been shit since I was born and now he sends someone like Michael into my life when I'm ready to give up.

But like they say….the best things in life comes when you least expect it

And Michael was nothing I have ever expected, he was shy and just so damn sweet. I fell too hard…too soon. He took my virginity and we got married three years later, we have a beautiful daughter name Isabel.

In loving memory of my sister..who I will never forget.

He was honored to name his first daughter after my sister, he knew how much I loved her and missed her. I never seen a man so patience or gentle as Michael, I finally thought that my life was after all….

Happily ever after.

But I was terrible wrong.

A/N: Yeah this is another sad one…been feeling down lately and needed a outlet. This story will be my outlet.

Until next time.