I think I'll always be a little weirded out when I manage to write something that isn't angst or porn...

As always, reviews are love. Even if it's something short.

Disclaimer: Glee doesn't belong to me.

Harry Potter Flirting 101

"What are you laughing at?"

"Nothing," Kurt said without looking up from his phone. He sat, curled, on the couch as his homework lay forgotten on the floor.

What would you do if you were sorted into Hufflepuff?

He pressed Send, grinning behind his iPhone as Finn sent him a confused look. It buzzed again seconds later.

Jump headfirst off the fucking Astronomy Tower.

He couldn't resist the laugh as the mental image came to mind. The Sorting Hat bellowing Hufflepuff across the Great Hall. Puck ripping it off and running out to take a swan dive.

His phone buzzed again.

If you got put in Slytherin?

I'd take over the world. And with much more style than Voldemort. And a better plan.

Of course you would.

Never doubt me. It was his fault that he never came up with a better plan. He had a year to plan and he always failed.

Harry shoulda just bought a shot gun. What's faster? Avada Kedavra or a bullet?

I'd put my money on the mystical green light.


"What is so funny?"

"Nothing, Finn. Watch your show."

Kurt smiled at the speech bubbles on his screen and cast a glance towards his Harry Potter collection on the bookshelf. When they moved into the new house, there hadn't been any space left in his room for his DVD collection and the idea of separating his books from his DVDs just seemed preposterous, so the entire set had ended up downstairs. Puck had seen it one time he came over. Kurt hadn't expected Noah Puckerman to be such a Harry Potter nerd, but he'd seen the replica of Draco Malfoy's wand lying on a shelf in the other teen's room.

Puck was a surprisingly adorable dork.

If Kurt bothered to look, he could see who started texting who, but that would mean going through months of messages.

His thumb might fall off from the amount of scrolling he would have to do.

You'd look hot in the uniform, but you'd look better with Ravenclaw colors. Matches your eyes.

It was definitely Puck that started the flirting, though. In the tear and ice cream filled days following his and Blaine's break up, it had been a mood lifter. He hadn't taken Puck's flirting seriously at first, telling himself that flirting was Puck's default setting.

Then Puck said he wouldn't mind running his tongue "Oliver his Wood."

Once Kurt deciphered Puck's geeky attempt at a Mad Lib and stopped blushing, he'd texted back and told Puck to meet him in the broom closet to make some magic.

They came out of the school's supply closet an hour later with flushed faces and rumpled clothes while Puck licked swollen lips.

Go to the Yule Ball with me?

Kurt's eyes widened at the text, thumbs just barely shaking as he typed out a reply.

You mean prom?

What other school dance is there? You went to Homecoming with the house elf.

Well, at least he wasn't calling Blaine Wormtail anymore.

I'd like that.

Cool. Get you out of those dress robes by the end of the night. ;]

I'm not wearing dress robes.

Even better.

The End