The Justin Show: Halloween Special

Rated M for Language, Crude Humor, and Sexuality

Disclaimer: Oh, I'll show you what a monster mash is all right! I was gonna start with the Christmas Special, but a friend came up to me and suggested I do this instead. So...the Christmas Special would have to wait.


(Guitar plays "Mother" by Danzig)

Chris McLean: Live from the hellhound studios of Wawanakwa Theatre...get ready for the show that makes you beg a lot more than blood...it's The Justin Show: Halloween Special!

(crowd cheers.)

Chris McLean: Starring Geoff...

(Image shows Geoff dressed up as David Lee Roth doing a leapfrog in a Van Halen concert.)

...Bridgette...

(Image shows Bridgette dressed as Betty Cooper giving Veronica Lodge a bitch slap.)

...D.J...

(Image shows D.J. as Mr. T. He is flexing.)

...LeShawna...

(Image shows LeShawna as Queen Latifah.)

...Owen...

(Image shows Owen as the Ultimate Warrior as he is thrashing what seems to be a weakling version of Hulk Hogan.)

...Eva...

(Image shows Eva as a ravaged, out of control Frida.)

...Cody...

(Image shows Cody dressed up as Elvis.)

...Blaineley...

(Image shows Blaineley dressed up as a golddigger.)

...Harold...

(Image shows Harold dressed up as Superman except that his underwear is over his head.)

...Heather...

(Image shows Heather dressed up as Catwoman motioning her finger for the camera to come here.)

(Heather takes the microphone from Chris's hand)

Heather: And now, here is the star of the show...the sexiest werewolf on the lot and a true sexy beast at best...the one and only...

(Heather points the camera to the stage in which Justin, who is driving a Black Rolls Royce through a glass window. When he comes out of the car, he is dressed like Tony Montana from Scarface.)

Justin: (shouting) Say hello to my little friend!

(The crowd cheers.)

Justin: How's it going everyone, and welcome to "The Justin Show: Halloween Special." I'm Justin! Sure...Halloween may be over and done with...but we're not. Every piece of awesome you're gonna see is gonna be one hell of awesome better than the next. Nothing but guts, gore and a whole lot of blood! I wanna say thank you to all of you once again for making us the most watched event in Pay Per View history...again! That's three in a row and I ain't stoppin'! Everyone like my costume so far?

(The crowd cheers.)

Justin: Yeah, I'm thinking about being the next Tony Montana in the sequel to "Scarface 2: Balls Of Fire". Here's my audition tape.

(A tape plays that shows Justin dressed up as Tony Montana. He is talking to a dummy that resembles Alejandro.)

Justin: (with a Cuban accent) Okay, Burromuerto. You wanna fuck with me? You fucking with the best! You wanna fuck with me? Okay. You little cockroaches... come on. You wanna play games? Okay, I'll play with you. You wanna play rough? Okay! Say hello to my little friend!

(Justin pulls out a tommy gun and starts shooting the hell out of the Alejandro-like dummy.)

Justin: [shouting defiantly after being shot several times] Hey, how'd you like dat? Huh? You fuckin' maricón! Hey! You think you can take me? You need a fuckin' army if you're gonna take me! You hear? C'mon! I'll take you all to fuckin' Hell! Come on! Come on! Come to me! Okay! Who you think you fuckin' with? I'm Justin Montana! You fuck with me, you fuckin' with the best! [while being shot repeatedly] Come on! I'm still standin', huh! Fuck! Come on! Go ahead! I take your fuckin' bullet! Come on! I take your fuckin' bullets! You think you kill me with bullets? I take your fuckin' bullets! Go ahead!

(Heather and D.J., dressed up as gangsters, shoot fake bullets at Justin in which the fake bullets shoot out ketchup. Justin convulses.)

Justin: Fuck you, you fucking mother fuckers! Fuckin' A...

(Justin drops dead. The tape ends and the crowd cheers.)

Justin: Did any of you enjoy that?

(The crowd cheers once again.)

Justin: Speaking of balls...let's see what the human Mexican Nard Alejandro is doing. I'd bet it's another dumbass attempt of trying to get in "The Justin Show" studio. Let's watch. And hold your balls, please!


(Camera shows Alejandro hiding in a plant.)

Alejandro: I'm not gonna get kicked out this time...and this time...I'm gonna finish off Justin and get back my Heather.

(He puts on a Ricky Martin wig.)

Alejandro: Perfecto...

(Alejandro, now disguised as Ricky Martin, approaches Chef Hatchet.)

Ricky Martin (Alejandro): excuse me, kind amigo.

Chef Hatchet: (In a girly scream) Oh my mackerel with a strap-on, you're Rocky Martin.

Ricky Martin (Alejandro): Uh...close. I'm Ricky Martin.

Chef Hatchet: I loved "Livin' La Vida Loca"! You're the reason I got many hard-ons with the women! It's so nice to meet you, Mr. Martin!

Ricky Martin (Alejandro): It's so nice to meet an amigo like you. I wish I had a ticket to get in and meet that delicious spicy hunk of meat, Justin. But my life partner down in Chile is such a bitch. He left it for the kids to eat. Our kids are paper-type diabetics.

Chef Hatchet: Oh, no need, Mr. Martin. You're a celebrity. Every celebrity from Charlie Sheen to Sean Connery is in. Go right ahead.

Ricky Martin (Alejandro): I believe this will cover it.

(Ricky Martin [Alejandro] gives Chef Hatchet a tip, which is disguised as a grocery store coupon.)

Chef Hatchet: Sure, go right ahead.

(Ricky Martin [Alejandro] steps inside.)

Ricky Martin (Alejandro): Sucker...

(As soon as he does, he is stopped by Chef Hatchet, who looks pissed.)

Chef Hatchet: Yeah right, you think I'm gonna be bought off by a ripoff who just gave me a coupon to the Sexual Turkey Shop?

Rocky Martin (Alejandro): Uh, who is this ripoff you're speaking of? There is one Rocky-Uh, Ricky Martin in this earth!

(Chef Hatchet rips off the Ricky Martin mask, revealing to be Alejandro. Alejandro then begs down on his knees.)

Alejandro: Oh, come on! Please...let me go into the studio. I just wanna see Heather for one second, and I promise I'll leave...please? Have a heart...

Chef Hatchet: Hmm...let me think...

(The scene flips over as Alejandro is now stuffed into a trash can.)

Alejandro: (from far away) A cardboard of her didn't count, mi amigo!

(Chef Hatchet throws a garbage lid far away, therefore knocking Alejandro out again.)

Alejandro: Ohhh...mi caramba.

(As he is knocked unconscious...Stewie Griffin appears as he is now pick-pocketing Alejandro out of his cash.)

Stewie: Uh, 6 bucks?

(Stewie looks into Alejandro's wallet in which there is a sexy picture of Heather.)

Stewie: Nice girl you got...I'm sure it should make Justin very satisfied in this chambers.

(As Stewie leaves, he comes back holding a cup of lemonade in his hand.)

Stewie: Don't forget your lemonade.

(Stewie Griffin dumps the whole cup of lemonade on Alejandro's head.)


(Crowd cheers.)

Justin: He is such a poor bastard...Anyway, we got a 'hell' of stuff we got to show you. So have yourself a 'bloody' time, go get yourself 'gory'-ed up, and Trent...hit us to commercial!

Trent: Commercial time it is! Okay, everyone 1...2...1,2,3...go!

(Danzig's "Mother" plays.)

Justin:
Mother
Tell your children not to walk my way
Tell your children not to hear my words
What they mean
What they say
Mother

Mother
Can you keep 'em in the dark for life
Can you hide them from the waiting world
Oh mother

Father
Gonna take your daughter out tonight
Gonna show her my world
Oh father

Not about to see your light
And if you wanna find hell with me
I can show you what it's like
Till i'm bleeding

Not about to see your light
And if you wanna find hell with me
I can show you what it's

Mother
Tell your children not to hold my hand
Tell your children not to understand
Oh mother

Father
Do you wanna bang heads with me
Do you wanna feel everything
Oh father

Not about to see your light
And if you wanna find hell with me
I can show you what it's like
Till i'm bleeding

Not about to see your light
And if you wanna find hell with me
I can show you what it's

Damn

Not about to see your light
And if you wanna find hell with me
I can show you what it's like
Till you're bleeding

Not about to see your light
And if you wanna find hell with me
I can show you what it's like


Sean Connery: I'm Sean Connery..."The Justin Show: Halloween Special" will be right back...Buck Futter! Shuck it! Shuck it hard! Shuck it!

I'd figured for this theme song for the Halloween Special, I'd use Danzig's "Mother" because it's very grim and when you mix the song with the Halloween...it's a very deadly combination! What do we have next for the Halloween special next chapter? Read and review to find out!