The Justin Show: Halloween Special
Rated M for Language, Crude Humor, and Sexuality
Disclaimer: Never owned Total Drama, never will. WINNING! Oh, just so you know, this skit-isn't even Halloween related, but this comes very close to it.
Lets Make A Deal, Quad Squad Style!
"Hey, folks. Justin here!" Justin exclaimed as he and his crew, The Charlie Sheen Quad Squad were standing right behind the host of the entire coast, "Now you folks may be wondering why me and my crew are doing behind this curtain. Well, we decided to have a heart ourselves and have Alejandro come onto the show for a little occasion. We were gonna trick and treat him through your enjoyment, but those hearty dumbasses over at the FCC said that we can't do anything murderous, or else we'd get thrown in prison forever." Justin replied as he turned to one of his members sternly, "Sorry, Geoff."
Geoff then bent his head down sadly as he left slowly with a hangnail in his left hand. Justin then looked right back at the camera.
"So for all of you game show fans from the 70's and now, be psyched and be prepared as we tackle one of the most popular game shows of all time..." Heather replied as she raised the curtain to reveal an ordinary game show audience and a nice set from a CBS game show.
"...It's time for Let's... Make... A... Deal!" Chris McLean exclaimed to the camera as the host, who was portraying Wayne Brady, but it was actually D.J. dressed up like the host himself. He seemed to appear downstairs from the crowd, who were dressed in flashy Halloween costumes. "And now here's your host, Wayne Brady!"
After a few waves to the crowd, Wayne/D.J. faced the camera head-on.
"Hi, everyone and welcome to Let's Make A Deal! You all know who I am. I'm Wayne Brady, resident gangbanger and queer beater! And you may all remember my partner, Jonathan Mangum..." Wayne/D.J. replied as he looked over to Cody who was dressed up as Jonathan Mangum, and not to mention he was fallen down drunk with a whiskey bottle in his hand. "And he's fuckin' drunk as a skunk. So it looks like there's no use for him."
With that, Eva and LeShawna dragged Jonathan/Cody out of the studio and into the greenroom.
"Well, while he recovers... please welcome our new sidekick on 'Let's Make A Deal', Charlie 'Winning' Sheen!" Wayne/D.J. spoke right to the camera as the real Charlie Sheen appeared right beside him from the stands. The host looked at him with much welcome. "Charlie, how you doing?"
"Like I been sleeping and drinking with a broad whose breasts shoot tiger blood off of them." Charlie said right to Wayne/D.J. as he was smoking a cigar, "Okay, enough crap. Let's get this toilet on the road. Bring on the bimbos!"
As Charlie walked out of the host's way, Wayne/D.J. looked right at the camera.
"Okay, let's get this show on the road and lets seek out our contestants! From Washington D.C., he's currently in prison for money laundering, please welcome Geoff McTaxman!" Chris McLean exclaimed as Geoff came out of the stands, wearing some kind of business suit with a briefcase, thinking he's the I.R.S. man. The announcer then went on with the contestants, "Next contestant! From Honolulu, Hawaii. He's an ex-male model turned por- um, I mean actor, give it up for Justin Hardstiff!" The announcer exclaimed again as Justin was dressed up as Playboy magnate Hugh Hefner, but it was 70's Hugh. The announcer then went to the last contestant, "And finally, from Pamplona, Spain, he's a womanizer of every Spanish woman's fantasy, please show some respect for Alejandro Burromuerto!"
Alejandro then came right out of the stands, only to get one crap-load of a negative response. Maybe it was because Alejandro was wearing that embarrassing red matador costume that looked a little gay to be exact. And as he was coming down the stairs, he fell down.
"Ooooooof!" Alejandro yelped in pain as a hot dog was thrown at his face just like a baseball smashing a guy right in the kisser. He then got up thanks to some help from the host himself.
"You okay there?" Wayne/D.J. said to a fallen Alejandro.
"I got thrown by a chorizo! I am definitely not okay, amigo!" Alejandro exclaimed to the host as he looked all over the attacker, which just happened to be the red-headed troublemaker known as O'Doyle.
"O'Doyle rules!" O'Doyle said right to Alejandro as he took off on foot.
"Well, there goes the neighborhood." Wayne/D.J. replied in response to the attack as he refocused on the camera. "Okay, now we got our contestants, let's introduce our models for the evening, please Heather and Bridgette!"
The announcer then brought out Heather and Bridgette who we're smoking hot with those matching glittery dresses. They were shining and so silver and so stunning.
Alejandro started to drool very slightly at Heather's dress, just like one horny latin werewolf. He could even feel his stiffy erected right inside his pants when he first saw her. He took off on foot, trying to get her hands off of Heather, but a rope was pulled right through his pants, making him trip.
"Oooof!" Alejandro grunted in pain as the rest of the audience cheered at this little incident.
"You know the rules, Burromuerto! No touching the models until you win. You win, you get to touch!" Wayne/D.J. spoke down to Alejandro as he understood the rules. "Now you know how this game works. You get to choose 3 doors, and the doors behind it contains a prize. Well, two prizes. But one of them could be a zonk! If you're lucky, we could have a full game without even one Zonk! Ready to play everyone?"
The crowd and the contestants both cheered as they were about to have this competition rolling.
"Okay, first up we have professional money launderer Geoff McTaxman!" The host said as Geoff stood near him, "How's it going with you?"
"I'm good to be here! Of course, I came here on foot since those angry tax cheats burned down my corvette. They won't be able to find me here at the least!" Geoff exclaimed feeling a sigh of relief.
"How uncomfortable of you." Wayne/D.J. said in such grief, "Now then, which door will you choose out of the three this time. Remember, this is the lightning round, which takes pretty faster than my girlfriend getting screwed by a dildo. Which door is it gonna be?"
"Hmmmm, if I could remember at the slight distance... I would say door number... two!" Geoff exclaimed with a point as the curtain slowly started to open up.
"Open up the curtain! Geoff, my man..." The host said as Bridgette revealed the rest of the prize to taxman Geoff, when he opened up his eyes, he couldn't believe what he saw. "You win a lifetime supply of an angry group of tax cheats!"
"Time for us to shred your ass up!" said Muscle Man as he was dressed like one of the tax cheats with the glasses, "You know who else likes to shred her ass up? MY MOM!"
"Ha! No one stops Geoff McTaxMan! I'll make you submit to the I.R.S. like a bad case of herpes!" Geoff laughed as he adjusted his glasses and took off on foot, laughing viciously to the tax cheats. "You'll never take me alive, you angry buttlickers!"
"Let's get that barfsack!" Muscle man said to the angry tax cheats as they agreed with his statement and chased right after Geoff.
"Well, that was painful." Wayne/D.J. replied as he saw Geoff run far away from the tax cheats and then focused right on the next contestant after him. "Okay, Justin Hardstiff, you look pretty confident. How are you doing?"
"I feel very excited. I warmed up right before I came here. Nothing but hand exercises that I did. It was like you take that metal exercise rod and just shaft it up and down, up and down, nice and slow until you start to sweat and groan. It takes the stress off competely and for an extra touch, you can also light up a cigarette after the session is done. You gotta love the stroking after a while, my man..." Justin replied as he took his Hugh Hefner corncob-style pipe and light up a puff of that nice Pineapple Express.
"I agree so!" The host exclaimed as he went over to the doors. "Okay, Justin. Which out of the two doors do you pick? Uno or Tres?"
After only a few seconds of thinking, Justin decided to choose.
"Hmmmmm, like a girl with a very golden shower, I choose door #1!" Justin exclaimed as Heather started to lift up the curtain with a smile.
"Nice choice Justin! For that, you win..." The host smiled as Heather revealed the rest of the prize to the handsome robe-wearing Hawaiian, "...a very huge penis pump!"
"Wow!" Justin exclaimed slightly as Heather gave the prize to him, "It's the holy grail of pumps! Fucking awesome, man!"
"Indeed, and with that prize, you also win..." Wayne/D.J. replied to Justin, as he gestured over to the hot supermodel standing right beside the host. "Heather!"
"Hmmmmm, mind if you testdrive this thing for me?" Justin said right over to Heather, who had a very seductive smirk on her face.
"Sounds good. After that... will you test drive me?" Heather responded to him in such a very purring voice.
"Mmmmm, sounds fine with me..." Justin smirked right at her as he and the beautiful Asian both left together with Justin's prize in his hand.
"Wha- Come on, you can't do that! That's illegal to do that!" Alejandro replied in shock to the host through protest, "You can't win models on the show!"
"Tell it to Merv Griffin..." The host said, just scowling at the Latino.
"Merv Griffin's dead!" Alejandro exclaimed to Wayne/D.J., who smirked back at Al.
"Well, that's your opinion." The host spoke back to him, "Okay, Alejandro. Hope's not lost for you. You can still have a chance to win a prize. You got two choices. You either take what I got in my hand here or go for the last door. But just remember. One of them contains a zonk."
"Okay, then..." Alejandro said looking very suspicious of his choice. His thoughts then spoke right inside his head, "Then again, maybe Heather as a twin. A twin sister. I just hope it's Heather's twin sister!"
"What is your choice?" The host said right to Alejandro who was still sweating.
"I'll take Door #3!" Alejandro exclaimed as he crossed his fingers for something good. "Please let be Heather's twin sister. Please let it be Heather's hot twin sister!
"You have selected..." The host said as Charlie Sheen, without any effort at all, raised the entire curtain for Alejandro, whose eyes were still shut, could see.
And as he squinted his eyes way open, he saw what shocked him.
"FEED... ME... MORE!" a mysterious figure said as Alejandro's face turned from suspicious to just scared straight. Standing right beside him was WWE's own meat-eating one man feeding frenzy, Ryback.
"Congratulations! You win your own professional wrestler..." The host said with a smile, "...who will now beat the holy living Latino shit out of you!"
"What? That's not-" Alejandro said in such panic to the host, who did nothing about it. "But I wanted a floozy!"
"Not my problem." Wayne/D.J. said back to Alejandro, who looked right at Ryback with such fear. The Latino needed to find a way out of this.
"Ummm..." Alejandro squinted right at Ryback, who was still steaming mad. He then offered him his hand. "Amigos?"
"FEED... ME... MORE!" Ryback yelled at Alejandro's face upclose with his vein popping right out of his forehead.
"No, no... AAAAAAAAAAAH!" Alejandro screamed like a little bitch as he ran like hell for his life with Ryback chasing him out of the studio altogether. The audience felt so much pleasure seeing what conspired here today.
"Well, his ass is gonna become meat." Wayne/D.J. said looking on to the chase, and then looking right at Charlie Sheen, who was pretty much unseen for the rest of the sketch. "What do you think, Charlie?"
"Can I have some whiskey to go? That fat piece of shit named Owen drank all of mine like a little crack-addicted baby. LOSING!" Charlie complained lightly as the host took a very deep-hearted depressed sigh.
"I knew that would happen..." Wayne/D.J. said right to himself as he focused on the camera for the last time. "Well, that's all for Let's Make A Deal. For Charlie Sheen and soon to be half dead from the waist down Jonathan Mangum, I'm Wayne Brady, and the rest of y'all can suck my balls. Good day!"
Ryback: THE... JUSTIN... SHOW... HALLOWEEN... SPECIAL... WILL... BE... RIGHT... BACK! FEED... ME... MORE!
Yeah, what he said. More Justin Show goodness coming your way right after you read and review! SHA-LIGHTNING!