She can only say that one word the moment I smile at her my bloody mouth betraying my deadly secret, and all that we are left with is complete silence.

(as she wipes away my addiction from my lips wordless and unmoving)

"Speak to me, Peyton, say something, anything."

Her eyes watch my lips thinking of Ruby's blood touching them, and when she finally speaks it turns out to be the last thing in the world I want to hear.

"I'm leaving."

The first time I ask her to stay with me it's with my eyes instead of my mouth, tears threating to come as she grabs that already packed bag and heads for the open road.

(remembering all those car rides with the three of us, snuggling in the back seat, the almost good days)

I chase her into the pouring rain, my mind far away from the blood that keeps me running, and scream for her to stay with me, to stay with this monster I've become.

"This is the last time, Winchester, I can't take it anymore."

Before I can beg on my knees, try and make her stay with me until the end of days, she's gone just as the thunder fades away.