Disclaimer: I don't own Midori Days or any of its associated fictional characters or locations.
If there was a drinking game for how many stalkers there are in this thing, a lot of people would get very drunk very quickly. Not that I'm recommending that! I take no responsibility for the health of those who read this fanfic!
I have done (at present time) two other Great Explanations, so if you want to have a look at those, my other fanfics, or my actual works, have a look at my homepage or MRegent.2 and Pangie's homepage. You can also find me on Twitter at /#!/AngelaDonlan .
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There is a boy we'll call the Effing Ninja.
Effing Ninja is called that because he is, in fact, an effing ninja.
He used to be a sweet boy but years of torment from his sister made him a juvenile delinquent. She also started a gang. Props to her for bringing her brother up well.
Effing Ninja, due to psychological torture from said sister, says that he is so good at fighting because of his 'demon right hand.'
Suddenly, out of the blue (or green, depending how you look at it), a small girl with green hair, big eyes, green hair (this is never explained) and a diabetically sweet personality calling herself Midori shows up.
Do you get it? Midori is green in Japanese, so it's like a pun on her hair colour… Oh, they're so clever.
Midori is the size of his right hand.
We know his because she becomes his right hand.
Yes, ladies and gentlemen, he has a little woman as his right hand.
Little Midori confesses that she loved Effing Ninja. In fact, she's been stalking him for years. She has pictures in her room of him. That he does not know about. And that none of her family members or servants (she's loaded, btw) seem to find the slightest bit disturbing.
Because the lesson in this is that if you stalk someone long enough, you will have earned enough Frequent Stalker Points to be able to do so in the most intimate way possible. Only with your Stalker Loyalty Card! (Now with 10% off all creepy disguises and spyglasses).
So he bandages her up and pretends his hand is injured. A gang hears about Effing Ninja being injured and comes looking for a fight.
A girl, who we'll call Other Stalker, is caught up in the process and Effing Ninja busts in to save her. She quickly lives up to her name by becoming his other stalker.
If we went along the logic of this show as far, it would be reasonable to expect that she would turn into his left hand.
Right Stalker: IT'S MY TURN TO COOK HIM BREAKFAST AND FEED IT TO HIM WHILE BLUSHING AND GIGGLING LIKE A TOOL!
Left Stalker: NO, IT'S MY TURN! AND I'M DOING THE UNDRESSING TODAY!
Right Stalker: YOU DID IT YESTERDAY!
Effing Ninja: I'm not sure whether I should be pleased about this or not… On one hand, two women fighting over me. On the other, GET OFF MY WRISTS!
Or perhaps that she would become one of his feet.
Effing Ninja: (waking up) Mm, good sleep. (gets out of bed)
Foot Stalker: OUCH!
Or perhaps another appendage.
(Censored) Stalker: (muffled cries)
Effing Ninja: WHY IS MY UNDERWEAR SPEAKING TO ME! (checks) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH MY MANHOOD?
But, no. Apparently this show does not operate on any logical system. EVER.
So with two stalkers (one conveniently attached so that she doesn't even have to pay for the 10% off disguises or spyglasses), Effing Ninja goes home to find his sister robbed him, invited her gang around, went about the town, had a heart-to-heart with his stalker and left him with the bill.
Effing Ninja's Sister: Lols, love my life.
He goes to Midori's home and finds her sleeping body there. They try to 'merge' the mini-hand-Midori with her actual self. Effing Ninja looks like a perv and is chased off the property. I call stalker. (three, by this point)
He also runs into creepy Manga/Anime nerd who stalks Midori (four) until taking her picture, forgetting due to Effing Ninja-induced amnesia, remembers a while later and sells the pictures and dolls he makes of her for great profit, sharing them with Effing Ninja.
Nice of him.
He begins stalking a random girl (I'm going to make that a fifth out of sheer creepiness) because he thinks she looks like an anime character (good a reason as any – wait, NO IT'S NOT!)
Effing Ninja tries to persuade him not to, gets beaten up by the very same Random Anime-ish Girl. Manga/Anime Nerd then stops stalking her and instead she starts stalking him (that's six)
Other Stalker (she doesn't count, we mentioned her before –don't give me that look, there are plenty more to come!) asks him out and tries to make (ahem) ADVANCES several times, to Effing Ninja's complete unawareness. Seriously, she waits in the bath for him so long she faints when she comes out. She has problems.
Mopey Stalker's Friend, who knew Midori when she wasn't a hand, stalks Effing Ninja because he knew about Midori's little… Habit.
He tries and fails to convince Effing Ninja to come back to the house. He then calls some gang names and must be rescued by Effing Ninja. Effing Ninja knew where he was due to a friend he has that follows him everywhere like…a…
SCREW YOU, MIDORI DAYS!
He saves Mopey Stalker's Friend and Midori is guilt-tripped into becoming a normal-sized stalker instead of an attachable one. Small mercies.
She can't remember anything about being a hand but goes out to resume stalking, this time determined to confront Effing Ninja about her disturbing habit. She tells him she loves him… And instead of telling her she needs help, he decides to go out to her.
Because, yes, ladies and gentlemen, that is the reasonable response. When someone is so obsessed with you they become your hand (a never-explained phenomenon), you date them. Stalkers everywhere just yelled hip-hip-hooray!
Other Stalker gets over him after he shuts her down.
Mopey Stalker's Friend stops being mopey.
Family and servants of Midori are happy again (just to make it a round number at the end I'm going to class their collective support of Midori's stalker-hood as a stalker. Nine.)
There is also a cat who stalks another cat and ends up winning her over.
With the force of ten stalkers, this show proves that loving someone completely and unconditionally without any respect for their feelings, privacy or personal space will MAKE them like you.
I repeat, SCREW YOU, MIDORI DAYS!