Disclaimer: I own nothing Twilight. I merely play with the characters for entertainment. No copyright infringement intended.
I Play My Part
I was a beautiful bride.
At least that's what everyone told me. I couldn't be sure so I believed them, because I can't trust my own judgment.
I never could. You can't trust yourself when you don't know your motives, and you can't have a motive when you don't care about anything.
I don't care about anything.
I am an actor. I play my part. But you won't see me on any television set or in any theater. I play my part in the human race. I live my days, smiling when I'm supposed to, crying when I should be moved. I never do those things when I am alone.
I used to be called cold-hearted and heartless. I've been called a robot. That was all before I learned to pretend. It's just easier for everybody. I used to wonder if there was something wrong with me. But they were fleeting thoughts. I don't wonder that anymore. That's one of the perks of being dead inside – you don't dwell on things.
So here I was, marrying Jacob Black. Strong, dependable, reliable Jacob Black. He, who was in love with me. He, who finally worked up the nerve to ask me out. He, who declared himself my boyfriend. He, who proposed. Everyone said I should marry him. So I said yes. I trusted everyone's judgment.
Maybe I should have trusted my own. Then maybe everything wouldn't have gone to shit.
But I'm getting ahead of myself.
Back to the wedding.
"Do you, Isabella Swan, take Jacob Black to be your..." whatever?
"Do you, Jacob Black, take Isabella Swan to be your..." everything?
And just like that, we were married.
Our honeymoon was... nice. I don't know what honeymoons are supposed to be like, so I can't compare. He caressed me like I was fragile, handled me like I might break.
Maybe he knew something I didn't.
He made love to me and whispered breathy I love you's in my ear.
When we first started dating, he told me he loved me almost immediately. It made me question his sincerity, but I didn't question it for long.
I didn't say it back. Not even at our wedding. He said I didn't have to. He said he had enough love for the both of us. He said I would love him someday. He said he was a patient man.
On our honeymoon, after he finished making love to me, I finally said, "I love you." He smiled and cried and kissed me like it was the end of the world. Even though I lied. I threw him a bone. I played my part.
He could be as patient as Job. I wasn't going to love anybody. But I could wound plenty.
But I'm getting ahead of myself again.
This is the story of how I ruined lives. I warn you, it's not a pretty story, but it had pretty people.
Maybe they won't seem pretty to you, but they were beautiful to me. That is, until I changed all that.
I was only playing my part.