So apparently I'm quite good at coming up with lists on how to annoy everyone's various favourite characters in a range of different Anime/video games, so I basically thought 'Hey why not have a go at annoying the effing fuck out of other awesome characters?'

And thus, like a flaming Chuck Norris roundhouse kick to the back of the head, the list of 'Ways to Annoy the Espada' was born! (Cue heavenly choir voices and rays of golden light unto your computer screens here) So without further ado, let's kick this list off with everyone favourite lazy ass Primera Espada shall we?

Disclaimer: YOU ALL KNOW I DON'T OWN ANYTHING.

#1: Ways to make Coyote Starrk hire someone else to kill you, because God knows he'd do anything remotely physical.

Replace the soft stuffing of his bean-bag/pillow mountain with nails.

Wax his beard in his sleep

Pay Lylinette to dress up as a horrifying monster and see if he'll wake up THEN.

Replace his sandals with ice skates and get Arronerro to completely freeze the floor outside his room.

Better yet, make it on a slope and leading to a nearby stairwell.

Whenever he walks into a room looking completely deadpanned(which is… well always), announce loudly "Aww, was Lylinette to rough this morning?"

Dye his hair Szayel pink, don't forget the eyebrows!

Follow him around all day with a sign reading, 'Szayel wannabe fanboy :D'

Convince Aizen to do ALL the chores in Hueco Mundo, in a maid's dress, without any underwear.

Or crotchless underwear, your choice

Whenever he falls asleep during a meeting, peg something very painful at his face (i.e a phone, kitten or random amounts of cacti)

Tape him to the wall of Aizen's room

If the former captain asks, tell him the Gypsies needed Starrk for some voodoo.

Follow him around with a blue chicken, and whenever he falls asleep get it to crow right in his ear. (1)


And there we have it, behold the wild and slightly overgrown contents of my mind. Please feel free to review or send your own ideas for any of these wacky whatchamacallits known as the Espada!

Next up, heeeeere's Braggan!

(1) – Legend of Zelda fans will get this, which I imagine is almost everybody. If you are one of the unfortunates who has never played the game GO OUT AND GET IT RIGHT NOW. I'M SERIOUS, TURN OFF YOUR COMPUTER SCREENS, GET OUT OF THE HOUSE AND FIND IT, PLAY IT AND THANK ME LATER. Or Chuck Norris will find you.