Eggs, Bacon and Sausage

Chapter 1

Many stories start with some perfectly normal person strolling down the street doing some perfectly normal activity like walking down a street or eating some cheese, other stories start with their main characters in some kind of predicament like being shot at by some alien or murderer. However this starts with a man with an incredibly bad dress sense, three arms and two heads, at this moment was being chased up a mountain track on Philphodal VI towards his stolen starship the 'Heart of Gold.' This man is of course the former galactic president Zaphod Beeblebrox he had been spending the last month with the king of the jatravarties who are the only species in the universe to be unique in the fact that they are the only species to invent the aerosol deodorant before the wheel. Zaphod had decided on his final day to steal the kings prized aerosol deodorant and so he naturally was now being chased by the king's top poisonous deodorant spraying robots.

Zaphod predictably made it back to his ship and took off attempting to find his companions Trillian, Ford Prefect and Arthur Dent. Ford and Arthur were in fact on a planet that was so remote and unknown it didn't even have a name, however it did have several alien species from giant slugs to intelligent 8 foot human eating wolves. It was this very planet that Ford Prefect and Arthur Dent were current on and also these wolves that were surrounding them attempting to cook them and at them to their delicious lunch of human schnitzel. As usual Arthur Dent was panicking almost hysterically and Ford Prefect was as usual being very difficult not helping calm Arthur's worries about being eaten in a schnitzel. This is mainly because all the ways of calming his nerves were at this time impossible.

"Go away!" Arthur screamed, "I don't taste very good I've g-g-gone off by now!"

"Shut up Arthur you're wasting your time!" Ford screamed back as they back up into a wall trying to escape the wolves' clutches. The wolves moved closer and closer and the two men closed their eyes, suddenly the two heard a rip in their clothes and the feeling of being hoisted up towards the heavens. Within moments the two felt solid ground between their feet and the two dared to open one eye, they were in a white spaceship bridge with a fish tank in one corner, in another a computer and at the front the spaceship controls with a man with long, brown straggly hair who both men instantly recognised as Ford's cousin Zaphod Beeblebrox. Both men opened their other eye and removed whatever had pulled them up in their clothes which just so happened to be a hook.

"Hi Ford, Hi Earthman" said Zaphod.

"Zaphod!" said Ford smiling, "thank you for introducing me to a new experience."

"What's that Ford?"

"Being pleased to see you" Ford continued.

"You tore my dressing down!" Arthur moaned.

"I can put you back monkey man" Zaphod replied.

"Shut up Zaphod lets find Trillian" Arthur said continuing to moan.

"For once" Zaphod replied, "I'm with you"

"Let's do this!"