(A/N First story. Beta'd by BornWithTheSupercell. Even if I'm not deserving of her services.

OooOooO

CLANK! CLANK! CLANK! CLANK! CLANK!

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!"

My adrenaline has never been higher. As I race for dear life to my house, the Chief of Berk's home, I can't help but look behind me. There she was, the most powerful women in Berk, Astrid Hofferson, hell-bent on capturing me after the stunt I just pulled in front of the whole island.

My whole body was on fire from the chase, but what happened at the Springs will be my drive to get the hell away from any female on the island. Before I give up on running, there's still one positive outcome out of all of this craziness. And he's sleeping on my rug without a care in the world. Crap! I thought, dodging a drunk of his top Viking. Astrid simply jumped onto a crate, flipped in the air, and landed without losing any of her momentum chasing me. The worst part is... she only had a towel on from the Hot Springs.

XxxXxxX

Four hours earlier -

I prayed to the Gods that the guys and I don't get caught. Why I agreed to this is beyond me, but anything to have my cousin think I'm cool was worth it. Maybe if I was lucky, he would stop bullying me all the time. Snotlout, my obnoxious cousin, had the brilliant idea of spying on the women at the Hot Springs. Along with Tuffnut and Fishlegs, I hid next to the boulder just outside the perimeter of the springs, waiting for Snotlout.

"Where is he?" Whispered Tuffnut. He looked over the boulder to see if the women were still there. When he stayed to long out of cover, I yanked him down before he could blow all of our covers.

"Are you crazy? You can't just peek over whenever to you feel like it, you have to be sneaky about it!" I warned Tuffnut.

"What? I was just checking if they were still there. It's been 3 hours, and Snot is still not here." Tuffnut glared at me, shoving my hand off his arm.

"It's only been 27 minutes and 45 seconds." Announced Fishlegs. Both Tuffnut and I looked at him bewildered. "What? I count when I'm nervous." Fishlegs defended.

Still affected by Fishlegs weird habits, I didn't hear Snotlout stalk behind me until it was too late.

"You actually grew a pair and came Hiccup-" Snotlout was interrupted by my screaming like a little girl from being snuck upon.

"NYAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" I wailed loudly. Before getting tackled by Fishlegs, Snotlout, and Tuffnut.

"SHUT UP!" They all yelled in unison. While in a dog pile, trying to restrain Hiccup from blowing their cover, they didn't notice the female members of the gang storming to their boulder they hid behind.

"My Gods, I can't take you guys anywhere without messing it up. How are we supposed to spy on the girls if you're yelling bloody murder, Hiccup?" Snotlout whispered harshly. By this time the two girls were towering over him, their glowering only intensified after his last statement.

Hiccup, Tuffnut, and Fishlegs, sprawled on the ground, were signaling Snotlout to stop talking and turn around.

To Snotlout, this looked like they were flailing their arms around in fear of facing his awesome Viking wrath. "Yea, you guys better be scared!" Snotlout snorted, flexing his muscles.

Knowing it was hopeless, Fishlegs scrambled to crawl away for his life, fearing that if he stayed any longer it would be like fighting The Green Death all over again. But this time no dragons to help.

"Heh! Got them running scared!" Snotlout foolishly boasted. "Since Fishlegs isn't coming back, let's just get back to spying on some bimbos" He decided when he saw Fishlegs wasn't coming back anytime soon. As he crawl-turned around, his blood ran cold. There they were, in towels, glowering at him with fire that would terrify a Nightmare. Astrid Hofferson and Ruffnut Thorston, the two most menacing Valkyries of all the woman in Berk.

"Bimbos, huh?" Astrid asked, her expression vivid.

Although in his position, Snotlout had the audacity to try and look up her towel. Seeing this, Astrid veered her foot back and punted it straight into Snot's nose. Flying backwards into a tree, Snotlout's head crashed against a nearby tree. Unconscious, the blood from his nose flowed out like a river.

After seeing what happened to Snotlout, Tuffnut tried to calm his twin sister down. "Uh Ruffnut? Don't do anything crazy! We were just uh... Um."

"Just what? Peeping on the women's bath?" Ruffnut questioned with a hand on her hips.

"Yea! I'm mean No, no, no... I was just-" He bolted running, but Ruffnut already anticipated this and took one long stride to snatch his collar before he could even escape. Ruffnut then took aim with her other fist and plowed it right into Tuffnut's gut.

"Ugh!" Tuffnut groaned in fetal position, holding his stomach. "Hurt, I am very much hurt-" A hit came to his face as Ruffnut straddled him and began delivering blows one by one. Each harder than the last.

By now, my head was spinning from all the ideas of how to escape my fate. But I couldn't pick one out with two icy eyes glaring at me, waiting to see what my next move was going to be. Astrid, on the other hand was doing the exact same thing. But her thoughts were on execution and torture methods. Finally, I stopped everything in my mind. What I was about to do next was going to be crazy and kind of stupid.

The face-off lasted a full minute. It wasn't a quiet showdown, with Tuffnut crying for his sister to stop already.

I lunged at Astrid, advancing toward her as fast as my leg and prosthetic could take me. Stunned, Astrid side stepped just in time before I ran her over. Whipping her head around to face me, only to see that I hadn't stopped.

"HICCUP!" Astrid roared as she began the chase. He better pray to the Gods that his dragon, Toothless, is awake. Because if I catch him...

Astrid let out her war cry.

"If I survive this, I will never use sarcasm again" I prayed to the Gods.

OooOooO

(A/N Beta'd by BornWithTheSupercell. RxR.