Disclaimer: Don't own Supernatural.
Wincest but not related. DemonDean.

Chapter 1

Sam cradled Dean's cooling body in his arms, leaning in to kiss the blood coated lips. He ran a hand through the blood encrusted blonde hair, wanting his brother back more than anything. Sam lowered his head to Dean's, forehead to forehead and that's when everything went strange. Sam moaned in pain, head spinning as two conflicting sets of memories struggled to take dominance in his mind. He whimpered, eyes shut, as he struggled to work out what was happening. But then the defining memory swam to the front.

Sam sat at the table alone, sipping his beer, as he watched the people around him. He touched his Dad's journal gently, the only thing he really had let of the man other than his car. Sam finished and decided it was time to head back to his room. He headed for the Impala only to stumble, head spinning; he braced a hand on the cars roof, dropping the keys.

"Take it easy Sammy, had a bit much to drink little brother." A voice called and Sam looked up, vision blurred.

"Who?" He mumbled and then gentle hands caught him, holding him up.

"Easy Sam, it's me Dean. Just relax kiddo; I'll get you back to the motel."

"Wha….n….no….don't know…" Sam slurred, trying to get away but his body refused to respond, limbs heavy as he slumped in unfamiliar arms. Or where they? He felt so strange and confused.

"Shh little brother." A voice breathed in his ear and Sam whimpered. Brother? He didn't have a brother? Did he? "It's okay, I'm gonna take care of you." It promised and Sam felt himself relaxing, yes, his brother would look after him. Sam's head was so heavy, falling back to rest on a warm shoulder and glazed hazel eyes stared at the blurred figure holding him.

"D…Dean?" Sam mumbled, eyes starting to slip closed.

"Yeah Sammy, just sleep it off kiddo. I'll look after you." Dean promised and Sam's world went black.

Dean lifted the unconscious hunter into his arms and set him into the passenger seat, smiling as he got into the driver's. "Nice ride for a hunter." He praised despite Sam being unable to hear him. He drove back to the young mans motel and checked him out of his room before booking a room with two beds. He then got Sam inside and onto the bed farthest from the door, setting things up to make it look like two people had been sharing the room for several days. He went through Sam's possessions, rubbing the cream he'd been given over every photo so that when Sam next looked at them he would see Dean in them as well. He was careful to make sure he went through everything, not wanting anything to perhaps jog Sam's true memory. He got out the last thing he needed and slipped the thin band around Sam's wrist, sealing the spell in place. Sam shifted slightly in distress but then relaxed utterly in a deep sleep. Once it was all done Dean stripped down and went to bed.

Sam woke up the next morning feeling sick and disorientated. He whimpered but got up and staggered for the bathroom, collapsing over the toilet to throw up. A warm hand pushed his hair back and then wiped his face with a cool cloth before he was given a glass of water. Sam blinked blearily and then looked up.

"Hey Sammy, bet you're regretting drinking last night."

"Jerk." Sam mumbled and Dean chuckled. Sam glared and then turned to throw up again, Dean supporting him.

"Okay let's get you back to bed." Dean whispered in deference to Sam's headache. Sam nodded lethargically, clinging to his brother the whole way back.

Sam sat up, dropping Dean's body as he scrambled back until his back hit the wall and he stared in horror at the body. Dean….Dean wasn't his brother, he'd put him under some sort of spell while Sam was vulnerable and grieving. Sam tried to work it out, figure out why Dean had done it. What had been the point? Sam forced himself to his feet and stumbled over to the body, pulling it up with shaking hands. No matter what had happened he couldn't leave the body behind, couldn't leave evidence.

Sam laid Dean's body out on the bed and then went to Dean's things, digging through them for anything that could tell him what Dean was or why he had done what he had done. He couldn't help occasionally glancing at the body, created memories screaming that it was his big brother lying there. Luckily they'd been staying in an abandoned house so no one would realise there was a dead body around. He searched through all of Dean's gear and then went back out to the car, searching every crevice until he found a battered journal. He took it inside and sat on the bed, opening it cautiously. Inside he found Dean's familiar hand writing and bit his lip in pain before shaking his head. It wasn't real, it shouldn't hurt…..but it did. It hurt so much to find his brother, his lover, wasn't real.

Saw him today. Don't know why they want me doing this. It'd be easier to just make the kid want to do what they want rather than altering his entire memory but hey, what the bosses want they get. Do what they say or be sent back and earth is definitely better than hell. Even got a nice body out of the deal. Apparently the brat just lost his Dad so he'll be pretty easy to manipulate. A nice easy job, pity I'd prefer killing or torturing him to making nice.

Sam paused and flipped further in, hands shaking. Hell….Dean was a demon. He'd been sleeping with a demon for almost 2 years. He felt sick. He didn't want to read more but he had to figure out what they, whoever they were, wanted with him.

Well it's been a week and Sam's treating me like he's known me all his life so it's safe to say it worked. And hey now I have a kick ass car too since as the eldest it would have been given to me. It's weird, hunting with him but I'm getting used to it. The spells on me are working too, nothing we've come across as been able to detect I'm not who I appear to be. It's so frustrating playing the protective, loving big brother, half the time I just want to rip the bastards' throat out! He is so…..whiny and needy it's sickening.

Sam flipped in even further, glancing over at the body with tears in his eyes. He didn't know what hurt more, that his brother wasn't real or that he had wanted to kill him. But then why? It didn't make sense. He came to an entry dated about six months after his Dad had died and read it, seeing the extra sloppiness to the writing and figuring something must have happened at that time.

It's weird…..I figured I'd just be making myself put up with this kid for however long this takes but…..I think I actually like him. He's a great hunter which I hate, hated him for at first but now…..I don't. It's impossible to hate him anymore and how screwed up is that? I'm a demon! Hate comes naturally. He's just so…innocent still, despite everything he's been through. I feel bad that thanks to my work he thinks John died for me, ignored him just before he died. It's weird, the longer I work with him….the more I feel, the more human I feel. It isn't supposed to be like this. It's just a job, to earn my freedom.

Sam stopped, clutching the journal as he stared at the hound ravaged body. Was it true? Had Dean really started to care about him? Not that it changed anything. Dean had used him for something, had lied and manipulated him. But he was a demon, right? So that came with the territory.

He kissed me. Shocked the hell out of me. I haven't been kissed…..I don't remember. If I was ever kissed it must have been when I was human and I don't remember anything from that time except the name Dean. Hell I don't even know if it's my name or someone who was once close to me. I don't know what to do. I feel so confused. And it's not like I can talk to anyone about this. Even writing this down is risky, sure Sam will think it's a porn magazine but anyone else can read this. But if I don't have this I think I'll go mad.

And now Sam was feeling sort of sorry for Dean. If it was true then Dean had once been human then again he'd had to have done something to end up in hell. The fact that he was Dean's first kiss was sort of odd; he could remember seeing Dean with women after the time mentioned in the journal as when Dean had bespelled him. Then again kissing wasn't necessary for what Dean had claimed to be doing with them. It explained a lot about Dean's reaction to Sam kissing him though, past the whole 'we're brothers' thing.