Disclaimer: Not mine.
Dean watched while reclining on the bed as Sam moved about the abandoned house. He still felt off balance and the healing wounds didn't help his concentration much, or his power levels. But he could feel his powers returning which was good; he didn't want to be vulnerable if someone tracked them down. He didn't think Sam was thinking things through properly but he didn't want to leave him. But his staying with Sam would but Sam in danger if other hunters realised he was a demon. Then again Lilith was still out there and while Dean didn't know her plans he knew she was gunning for Sam and that was not allowed. He would not let anyone hurt Sam. He knew he wasn't exactly the Dean he had pretended to be for Sam and he was nervous about Sam realising that and making him leave. But Sam had promised to use the knife on him rather than let him go back to hell so at least he had that.
"Dean? You okay?" Sam asked and Dean blinked back to the present.
"Fine Sam." He answered and Sam stared at him. "Sam…."
"Something's bothering you Dean, come on, talk to me." Sam sat down on the bed and Dean looked away. "Please."
"I…I'm not him."
"Dean?" Sam asked in confusion.
"That's just it, I'm not Dean Winchester, I'm a demon. You're different Sam but other humans…..it was an act." Dean couldn't look at him as he admitted how much like the others he was.
Sam blinked. That was the problem? He'd sort of figured that already. And honestly Dean had never been the best at social interactions. "Dean no offence but even before I knew…..you're interactions needed some work." Sam grinned at him and Dean looked at him in shock. "What? You weren't exactly polite most of the time when dealing with people."
"I always figured it was just a personality quirk, because of the way we were raised. Now I know it was because you're a demon. It doesn't matter. You're not going to go around killing people, being rude and inept isn't that bad."
"It's there….the urge to hurt and kill but I don't have to give into it. It's like this bottomless pit of rage and violence." He admitted, not wanting to hide things from Sam anymore. Sam nodded and reached out to squeeze his hand gently. Dean stared at him and then gave a weak gin, squeezing back. Part f him still thought this was all part of the torture, that any second it would end and he'd be back on the racks but even if that was the case then he could at least enjoy what time he had with his Sam, real or not.
Bobby slammed the phone down in frustration and fear. Sam hadn't answered his phone since going to face Lilith with his 'brother'. Except now Bobby knew Sam had never had a brother, he had been an only child. So who or what had Dean been? And what had really been happening since it had slipped its way into Sam's life? Had Sam really died or did they just think he had? There was no way to know without talking to the kid but his phone had been turned off since that night. For all he knew Sam was dead, killed by Lilith or maybe even Dean. But then he had had plenty of opportunities before so why not act before now?
Sam removed the last of the stitches, running gentle hands over the red lines that were all that was left of the horrendous wounds in amazement. Dean watched him as Sam worked, letting Sam touch as much as he wanted, knowing Sam was assuring himself that Dean was there and breathing. He hated to think of Sam putting those stitches into his corpse thought he fact he had done it when he had know what Dean was…he started as a tear fell onto his bare thigh and then lifted his hand to gently brush through Sam's hair. "Don't cry Sammy." He whispered and Sam looked up at him. "I'm here and I'm out because of you." He continued and then Sam lunged up to kiss him and Dean wrapped his arms around him, holding him close so they could both feel the other was alive and safe. Sam broke down into sobs and Dean held him, letting him grieve. Sure he hated 'chick flicks' but this was different, this was Sam.
"Sorry." Sam mumbled when he finally pulled back and went to remove the last stitches.
"For what?" Dean asked and Sam just looked at him so he shrugged. "Figured it was coming. Pretty sure you're allowed to be a mess with the whole learning your brothers actually a demon who had you under a spell and then went back to hell to save you." That got a snort from Sam so Dean grinned. Sam yanked the last stitch and sat back to examine his work. "Don't worry about the crooked lines Sam, they'll heal."
"Totally?" Sam asked in amazement and Dean nodded.
"Couple of months there'll be no sign of them."
"So the other scars?"
"The body already had them for years, no clue where from." Dean admitted.
"Is empty except for me Sammy, has been the whole time, promise. Guy was brain dead in a hospital when I got him. He was a John Doe too." Dean told him and Sam relaxed, it was a relief to know some poor guy hadn't been dragged into this mess. Dean smiled slightly at him and then stood up to stretch, enjoying the fact he was pain free and no longer had stitches pulling whenever he moved. He offered a hand to Sam who took it and Dean easily pulled him up, Sam's eyes widening. "There are some perks to this." Dean grinned and his shirt leapt into his hand.
"Yeah, I'm starting to see that." Sam agreed and it was so tempting for Dean to make a remark on another perk but he held it in, he didn't want to push Sam and risk losing him after all. Sam would let him know when he was ready for their relationship to go back to the way it had been. Sam grabbed Dean's jeans and tossed them at him before flopping onto the bed. "So…..how old are you really?" He asked curiously and Dean lay down beside him.
"Not sure, time in hell is a lot different to up here. I think….what flashes I have from being human lacked cars so…"
"Wow." Sam stared at him in awe. "Cradle robber." He teased and Dean grinned, relieved Sam wasn't upset that Dean was considerably older. "Flashes….so you remember some stuff from being human?"
"Not really, just some vague images, impression. I don't think I had a family, no cars…" Dean shrugged.
"You have family now." Sam whispered, shifting to cuddle against him and Dean smiled, wrapping an arm around him.
"Wouldn't trade it for the world." Dean whispered back, holding him tightly.
Dean looked around the abandoned and then at his packed bag. It was time to leave but honestly? He didn't want to. As soon as they left they'd have demons and who knew what else after them. He would read as a demon now too, no more immunity to holy water and devils traps. "Ready?" Dean looked up and found Sam lounging in the doorway, his own bag over his shoulder and the Impala's keys in his hand. Sam tossed them and Dean caught them in confusion.
"But she's yours."
Sam shrugged. "To me the Impala was always just a car, you made it home." Dean blinked but nodded and picked his bag up, taking a deep breath before crossing the wards that had kept them hidden for the last two months. "Okay?" Sam asked gently and Dean nodded, walking over to the Impala and running his hand over it.
"She needs a good wash."
Sam shook his head but dumped his bag in the trunk. "Well since we haven't left the house since…..I'll help you wash her when we get back to civilisation." He promised as he got in. Dean got in and gently started the engine before getting onto the road. Being back in the Impala with Sam beside him felt so right. He smiled when Sam's hand moved to rest on his thigh, squeezing gently in understanding of what Dean was feeling.