DISCLAIMER: I do not own Glee, nor am I associated with it or Ryan Murphy. I am just an out-of-college daydreamer who sometimes gets into these writing funks and ends up tossing out a story after letting the idea sit in my brain for a few days! I don't own West Side Story either.
Pairing: Kurt x Blaine, Rachel x Finn (both mentioned)
A/N: This takes place between Season 3's episodes 4 and 5. It's just a bit of head canon I have for what I think is going on in Blaine's mind after a few things happen. SPOILERS AHEAD!
Dalton Academy. Home sweet home.
It was pathetic for him to think of it that way; he was the one who voluntarily left it behind, after all. But, there he was: sitting in the parking lot of his old school, staring up at the magnificent building with a longing gaze. He hadn't been to visit the place in weeks, despite the pleas of his friends to swing by every once in a while and say hello. There was just too much on his plate. Way too much.
He had homework, glee rehearsals, West Side Story practices, and so on and so forth. There just wasn't any time for him to make the two hour drive to Westerville like he wanted.
And that was something that Blaine really disliked.
He never would've thought that transferring to public school from a prestigious private academy would be so difficult. He was originally expecting a let-up on homework (Dalton Academy was well known for its rigorous academic schedule), but instead, he got slapped in the face with a bigger problem: improper time management.
At Dalton, Blaine was careful no to overwhelm himself with extracurriculars. He only took what he could handle and the rest just had to wait until he had the time to deal with it. However, at McKinley, being the new kid and all, Blaine found himself struggling to balance his schoolwork, singing practices, and even time with his boyfriend.
It was killer.
Plus, being the people pleaser that he was, it wasn't like Blaine could just bow out of anything. He jumped into the shark tank headfirst - he knew what was coming. When he transferred, he already had it all planned out in his head, how he was going to join New Directions, spend more time with Kurt, and make new friends.
Instead, he was really only able to accomplish just a bit of those things.
Time with Kurt was rare. If Blaine wasn't stuck at the school practicing with Rachel for the play, then he was at Booty Camp with the rest of the club. If he wasn't busy, then Kurt was. His boyfriend had a lot to get ready for - college applications and the like. But Blaine didn't like to reflect on that stuff. He didn't want to think of Kurt leaving him in a year, leaving him behind because he was just a lowly junior and wouldn't be able to graduate this year… no matter how much he tried to get around the restrictions McKinley had set for him when he transferred.
But that was just another story for another day.
Sighing, Blaine crossed his arms over his steering wheel and laid his head upon them. If he didn't calm himself down soon, he would probably have a mental breakdown right there in his car. So, slowly he breathed in and out, trying to push all the negativity out of his mind, all the nasty things that had happened to him over the last few days.
If only things could be that simple!
Blaine had truly wanted to have a better experience at McKinley than he had at his old school, prior to Dalton. He barely had friends at his previous public school and since he knew some of the New Directions via Kurt, he was sure that making friends at the new school would be a piece of cake.
He was wrong.
Even the people he thought of as his buddies had thrown him under the bus when he arrived. It hurt him more than he would ever admit when Finn turned on him on his first day at school. And to be honest, it hurt more when Kurt didn't say anything at all to call his stepbrother off.
And stuff like that had been happening for weeks now.
Just the incident the other day in the choir room had Blaine tearing up in the bathrooms after glee. Finn saying things about him being popular at Dalton, telling him to sit down, basically scolding him for speaking… it hurt.
It hurt because Finn was supposed to be his friend.
It wasn't like they hadn't spent a lot of the summer together. It wasn't like they hung out and played video games or rehearsed the Pippa Middleton play that Kurt had been writing together. It wasn't like they goofed around at the Hudson-Hummel family dinners or talked about sports.
It wasn't like they were friends or anything, right?
Just thinking about Finn's harsh treatment caused the tears to well in Blaine's eyes again and he pressed his face into his forearms just a little bit harder.
Stop crying, Blaine. You're being a big baby.
Then there was the whole Rachel of it all. After the whole fiasco of their failed 'relationship' last spring, things had changed between the two. They were pretty decent friends and when Blaine joined New Directions, Rachel was pleasantly welcoming to him - unlike her angry giant of a boyfriend. Hell, she was probably one of the only people minus Kurt (and maybe Brittany and Artie or Tina and Mike) who actually talked to him in school. It wasn't until she announced that she was running for senior class president that things started to go downhill between the two of them.
Blaine knew that his allegiance would always be with Kurt. Always. So when Rachel announced her candidacy, Blaine was ready to stand tall next to Kurt and support his man.
But then Finn started being an ass and Kurt just sat there, staring blankly at the floor or looking at the wall - no biting remarks at his brother to shut up and leave Blaine alone.
And that hurt. It hurt because Blaine - as pathetic as it seemed - hoped Kurt would at least stick up for him a little bit. It wasn't like Blaine could explain why in the world Finn was so pissed off with him. The guy just sort of snapped and flipped out on Blaine as soon as he stepped foot in McKinley.
He really had no reason to be mad at Blaine and if there was something wrong, Blaine truly wanted to know so that he could fix it. He missed Finn too, you know?
But alas, Finn didn't want anything to do with him. They didn't talk with Blaine showed up at the Hudmel house; they didn't speak at dinner anymore. Burt and Carole obviously knew something was up, but they didn't say much. Blaine was certain that they didn't want to get involved because it would just cause huge drama in their household if they chose sides.
So Blaine went without speaking to Finn. He still talked with Rachel though - not out of spite for Kurt or anything. Sure, he was a little upset that Kurt wouldn't put Finn in his place, but he wouldn't just fraternize with the enemy because he was a little mad at his boyfriend. No way.
However, Kurt didn't see it that way and he made sure Blaine knew that too.
"What exactly is going on with you and Rachel?"
Blaine slid the last few books into his locker and turned, glancing up at his boyfriend. His brows furrowed a bit as he tried to process what in the world Kurt was asking.
Kurt rolled his eyes, tugging his messenger bag up a little higher on his shoulder. "I'm trying to figure out what in the world is going on in your head right now, Blaine. You and Rachel are all buddy-buddy even though you know she's being a conniving little… ugh, you know, right now. I would've thought you would at least ignore her or something."
"You want me to ignore her because she's running against you?"
"I know that seems selfish of me to ask, but really. She only brought his upon herself. She knew I wanted this presidency and she just had to do what she always does: steal it away from me."
"But you're ahead of her in the polls, right? So why does it matter if we're talking?"
"Blaine," Kurt half-whined, half-hissed, "the point of the matter is: you're my boyfriend and there's no doubt in my mind that once the campaigns start heating up, she's going to try to turn you against me or use you against me. Rachel is evil, Blaine. She may be small, but she's pretty vindictive."
"I'm not worried about her," Blaine laughed, pulling out his book bag and loading it up with a few notebooks. "And I promise you that I'll keep my mouth sealed tight if she asks me any questions."
"Plus, how am I not supposed to converse with her? We've got rehearsals and all that jazz, so we've got to talk. I can't just not speak to her."
"I know, but maybe you could just limit the talking to just talking about the play and nothing more."
Blaine sighed, shutting his locker. "Kurt, I love you. I really do, but right now, you're sounding a little bit crazy. I'm not going to pick Rachel over you. I just enjoy her friendship." He took a small breath and muttered quietly, "Plus she's one of the only people who likes me at this school."
Kurt leaned forward, straining to hear the last part of Blaine's sentence; he missed what was said though. "I'm sorry, what was that?"
"Nothing," Blaine whispered, looking down at his shoes. He glanced up at the now empty hallway and bit his lip before leaning up and pressing a quick kiss to the corner of Kurt's mouth. "I've gotta get home, but I'll call you later, alright?"
"Okay." Kurt smiled, "Remember what I said okay. I love you."
"Love you too."
Despite what he had told Kurt in the hall that day about the boy being a little crazy, Blaine truly did try to keep his conversations with Rachel to a minimum. The last thing he needed was for his boyfriend to be mad at him and then have a raging Finn getting on his ass for upsetting Kurt. However, Blaine didn't even need to upset Kurt to have Finn saying stuff to him again.
"I was thinking that we could split the harmonies for this number and then perhaps the girls could take these lines while the guys take the other ones."
Blaine was leaning close to Kurt, pointing out different bits in their sheet music. They had been going through different songs, looking for a perfect group number for Sectionals when Finn came in and took the seat next to Rachel - who, of course, was sitting next to Blaine. When Finn arrived, Mr. Schue decided to officially begin practice and his first point of business was to ask:
"What are you guys talking about?"
Kurt smiled, taking the music from Blaine and passing it over to the teacher, "Blaine had a good idea about the harmonies in this song. He thinks we should split those first few sections between the girls and guys with different harmonizations for each one."
"Uhh, excuse me?" Finn was raising his hand. Schue gave him the floor and immediately, Finn turned to the rest of the club. "I really don't think that's a good idea. I mean, Blaine's only been in an all male acapella choir. I don't really see how that's going to help out the girls vocals, to be honest."
"Oh well, I-" Blaine started, only to be cut off.
"I just think it's for the best if we just keep the number the way it is or can it. I mean, I don't think that's the kind of song for us. This arrangement seems more like an acapella thing anyways and an acapella choir we're not."
"I could always try to sing the parts, if you want me to demonstrate them," Blaine said quietly, but once again, Finn didn't seem to want to be having it.
"Umm no, Blaine, we don't need a demonstration. I think Rachel and I found the perfect number anyway, so you can just hold off on the singing, okay?"
It was harsh, really harsh. In fact, when Finn said it, Blaine was waiting for him to offer an apology or an 'I didn't mean for it to come out that way' kind of thing, but instead, he just nudged Rachel and the girl started firing off song ideas.
And in the mean time, Kurt just sat there, eyes focused solely on the piano as if he was trying to ignore the entire drama that was going on around him.
He didn't say a word.
Blaine leaned his head up and wiped the tears away from the corner of his eyes.
He wasn't planning on sitting out in his car and crying. He was originally going to just drive to Westerville, stop and see the Warblers, and then maybe go out to dinner with the guys. Instead, he found himself tearing up over the most stupid stuff.
Finn was allowed to be angry. Kurt was allowed to stay out of it if he wanted. Everyone was allowed to do whatever the hell they felt like doing. No need for anyone to get their panties in a bunch just because little ol' Blaine Anderson was feeling out of place at McKinley High or anything. No need.
Choking back a sob, Blaine leaned back against the headrest and curled his arms in front of his stomach, wishing for just a moment that he was wearing his Dalton blazer and was getting ready to practice with the Warblers - the only people who seemed to really understand him.
Maybe I made a mistake in transferring…
He shook his head and pushed that thought far back in his mind, turning instead to look out the window where he could see a few navy blazers in the courtyard. Soon, the Warblers would be leaving practice and the non-boarders would be coming out to their cars. Soon, one of them would spot Blaine's car in the parking lot and alert the others that their former leader was in town. Soon, he would be in the presence of his best friends.
And he just couldn't let that happen.
Quickly, he shoved his keys back into the ignition and started up the car. As he waited for the vehicle to warm up a little, he heard his phone ding from his book bag. Reaching inside, he pulled the beeping phone out and found that he had a text from Kurt.
Carole wants to know if you'd like to come over for dinner. She hasn't seen you lately, she says. -K
Blaine stared at the text, tears brimming again in his eyes. He really wanted to go have dinner at the Hudmel household, but just the thought of being around Finn and even Kurt, sadly enough, made his stomach clench in pain. He just wasn't in the mood to deal with anyone right now. If anything, he just wanted to go home, put on a pair of sweats, and climb into bed.
And maybe have a good cry. That was there too.
Biting his lip, Blaine typed out a text about not feeling too hot and planning on taking a nap, but that he appreciated the offer. After he sent the message, he did feel a little bit bad about lying, but felt it was necessary for his sanity. He dropped the phone back into his bag and rubbed at his eyes, clearing them of any leftover tears before he turned his attention back to the looming building that was Dalton Academy.
His stomach flipped at the sight and he sighed, putting his car into reverse as he backed out of the parking lot and headed home.
He'd just come back another day, another day when he didn't feel like complete and utter shit.
A/N: I don't really know where this came from. I was sitting here, wanting to kick Finn in the face for being a douche bag to Blaine and this sort of popped into my head. I guess you could call it my head canon for why Blaine goes back to visit Dalton. I mean, honestly: yeah, it's great that he's going to be Tony in WSS and stuff, but he's really getting shafted when it comes to people treating him nicely in ND. Like, first with Finn and now with Santana. Yeah, so Blaine had a lot of solos last year at DALTON, but he's a McKinley now and LFN was his first solo as a part of their group, but he's still getting crap. I feel bad for him, you know? I know there are others out there who beg to differ and more power to you if you think Blaine deserves the hate, but I love him and I just felt bad for him in the last episode. And I want Kurt to rip Finn a new one soon if he keeps picking on Blaine. I would if my brother was mean to my boyfriend. Just sayin'.
Anyways, thanks for reading. Be on the lookout soon. My muse currently has me wanting to write a Karosky based fic (and oh good Lord, it's also got me plotting Seblaine stuff - of which that scares me a little because I'm a Klaine fan girl through and through, you know?) I digress. I love reviews, so let me know what you thought! Thanks!