A/N: Hey guys! So this is my first ever fanfic, and first lemon! (eventually) :P so please, constructive critisism is accepted and encouraged! But no bashing for the sake of being mean, yeah? That's just rude, and I'll be forced to hunt you down and shove crayons up your nose. :)
Also I have no Beta, so any and all mistakes are mine and mine alone!
Disclaimer: NO copyright infringement intended! Stephanie Meyer owns all characters (except a few OCs). And, of course, she owns me. But not literally. x)
(New Moon Pg 358-359)
I stepped out to the edge, keeping my eyes on the empty space in front of me. My toes felt ahead blindly, caressing the edge of the rock when they encountered it. I drew in a deep breath and held it…waiting.
I smiled and exhaled.
Yes? I didn't answer out loud, for fear that the sound of my voice would shatter the beautiful illusion. He sounded so real, so close. It was only when he was disapproving like this that I could hear the true memory of his voice—the velvet texture and the musical intonation that made up the most perfect of all voices.
"Don't do this," he pleaded.
You wanted me to be human, I reminded him. Well, watch me.
"Please. For me."
But you won't stay with me any other way.
"Please." It was just a whisper in the blowing rain that tossed my hair and drenched my clothes—making me as wet as if this were my second jump of the day.
I rolled up onto the balls of my feet.
"No, Bella!" He was angry now, and the anger was so lovely.
I smiled and raised my arms straight out, as if I were going to dive, lifting my face into the rain. But it was too ingrained from years of swimming at the public pool—feet first, first time. I leaned forward, crouching to get more spring…
"You're wrong, you know." I froze, still crouched and tensed to jump. What? Whose voice was that? Perhaps I truly was going crazy now. But it seemed vaguely familiar…just as beautiful as Edward's, but deeper, that of a man rather than a teen, and with a slight hint of some sort of accent.
"I can feel what you're feeling now—and you are worth it." My mind flashed back, what seemed like a lifetime, to that day when James and Victoria had ruined my more-or-less perfect life. After the face-off at the field and the following disaster at Charlie's, they had whisked me back to their home. They had made plans, he had kissed me…and then Jasper and I had been left alone for the first time.
I recognized the voice now; I felt almost stupid for having not. He had spoken so sparsely, though, so I supposed it was not worth feeling guilty over. Besides, it wasn't like I'd ever see any of them again…
My heart broke all over again, the hole in my chest ripping open painfully, like tearing off a band-aid. My muscles went limp and I slumped to the ground, thankfully falling backward, and I curled into myself on the edge of the cliff and bawled my eyes out. It was the first good cry I had had since they had left, and surprisingly, it felt good. All my sorrow, my insecurities, my anger, bubbled up and I let it all pour out with the tears racing down my cheeks.
After an eternity my tears slowed and I realized I was freezing. The rain had soaked me to the bone, numbing my whole body. It felt oddly like the way my mind had been numbed up until now; for now I saw everything clearly. The situation with Jacob, the past months of catatonia, even my breakup with Ed—him. I winced slightly; afraid of the pain I would feel from thinking his name.
I realized that Jacob was good for me; I could learn to love him the way he loved me. I could. Now that I was past feeling nothing, was on the road to healing, the thought of being with Jacob was almost too easy.
I also realized that what he had done, he had done for my safety. I felt ridiculously idiotic to have thought he meant what he had said about not wanting me. How many times had he proven that I was all he wanted? With that realization, though, came more anger and confusion. Why had he done it? I knew now he had wanted me to be safe, to live a normal human life, but I hadn't wanted a normal human life! I had wanted him, unconditionally, for eternity. And he had taken that away without even thinking of talking to me about it. If he had told me of his fears, his desire for me to live my life, yes I would have argued, but we would have eventually come to a compromise. Together. The way two people destined to share their lives should. But he hadn't. And that had me questioning everything I had had with him.
I struggled to my feet, lurching dangerously close to the edge before my numb legs cooperated. I stood tall, my chin up, almost glaring at the cloudy horizon. I would do it, I vowed then. I would get better. I would move on.
"Edward Anthony Masen-Cullen," I muttered, my fists clenching against the surprisingly small amount of pain saying his name brought, "I am worth it."
A/N: I know it's short but it IS just the prologue! Longer chapters (hopefully) to come! :)