Kick Your Ass from Beyond

Rating: PG-13/T

Genre: Humor/Drama

Summary: Drabble. Spoiler for 7.07 "The Mentalists". "Really, Mom?" "Like I was gonna pass up an opportunity like that."
Author's Note: ! The little drop-in in "The Mentalists" made me squee with all kinds of ridiculous childish glee.

Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural. If I did, ELLEN AND JO WOULD BE BACK PERMANENTLY BY NOW. It belongs to Eric Kripke.


The Winchester men were frickin' idiots.

They repressed and repressed and dove into bottles of scotch until they either exploded or became vegetables. Well, Ellen assumed that was the second option- All she'd ever seen John and the boys do was explode.

Dean's inability to talk to anyone about his feelings was royally screwing up his relationship with Sam, and it had undergone far too much battering in the past for Ellen to be confident that it could handle much more. She was surprised those two hadn't started shooting at each other at one point or another.

He was like a son to her. She cared about him, about both of them, but God damn the boy was stubborn enough to make her want to rip her hair out. He was sabotaging every good thing he had- Either out of guilt or some bullshit Winchester logic like "I just don't deserve it, I'm too screwed up for it". He got betrayed by his brother once and then his best friend, and now he seemed to be laboring under the delusion that that automatically made everyone else on the planet untrustworthy without question.

She'd practically jumped down that tour guide's throat to get her message across. The look on Dean's face- It was priceless. The shock mixed with a little bit of fear, likely due to the fact that he hadn't been aware of or even considered that Ellen was keeping an eye on him. Did he really think that Jo hadn't briefed her on his mental state after the Osiris incident?

Jo was giggling in that it's-funny-but-still-kind-of-sad way. "Really, mom? 'Kick his ass from the other side'?" Ellen sniffed.

"Like I was going to pass up on an opportunity like that. Besides, I fully intend to carry out my threat. I firmly believe it's not too late to become a ghost and kick his ass until they locate what's left of my body and burn it. And given the way we died, I think it'll take them a while." Jo just grinned and shook her head. She knew better than anyone how serious her mother was.

Ellen kept watch on the boys until they left Lily Dale. The patched things up well enough, but it was obvious that Dean was still holding back, still unwilling to open up to probably the closest person he was ever going to find who could understand.

Looked like she was going to have to find the edge of heaven and jump off it.

That boy was getting an ass-kicking.