Summary: You think nothing can be worse than your parents getting involved in your sex life? ... Wrong! What if your parents are gods and getting involved in your sex life?
Rating: T for suggestion of adult themes.
Disclaimer: the gods belong to Ancient Greece and Percy and the gang belong to Rick Riordan.
The Problem with Omnipotent Parents
It had been several months since I'd admitted to Percy Jackson that I liked him and this had resulted in several months spent with my very first boyfriend. It had been awkward at first and we'd struggled to adapt to this new development in our relationship. I'd considered the idea of said boy becoming my boyfriend for a while before it'd happened but I'd never realised the gap between friends and a relationship could be quite so far.
I mean 'boyfriend' was just a word and yet it made everyone at camp half blood jeer at us or smile sappily whenever we passed. I couldn't understand why our relationship had really changed that much. Apart from us now telling each other our feelings and the embraces and kisses that we shared. Fleeting moments of affection that caused embarrassment the minute/second they were over.
The embarrassment didn't last long.
As I enrolled in boarding school in New York and Percy and I were forced apart after a long, blissful summer together, our moments of reunion became more and more passionate. Desperate kisses and cuddles were more powerful than any words that could be spoken in such moments and although we weren't a 'touchy feely' couple, the tender closeness was always a comfort in these initial moments.
Studying and boarding school rules were always trying to keep us apart, or so it seemed. There were very strict rules on the interaction between the opposite sexes and these were even stronger and more difficult to bend when the boy was from outside school. Our make out sessions were constantly under threat of being discovered and Percy and I tried many different places to avoid detection. Empty classrooms. Behind the school kitchens. Female staff toilets. Senior boys' locker room on a Sunday afternoon. Anything for a few delicious moments of privacy.
The first time it transpired was when Poseidon "happened" to come into my room one day when Percy and I were enjoying one of our reunions. I still think that the way he pretended he didn't know we were having a make out session was completely unconvincing because he was an omnipotent god after all but I wasn't going to argue about it. After all he was a very dangerous, powerful and omnipotent god.
It was another one of those days when I was waiting for Percy to come and visit me. I was eager for our explosive reunion and the hours of cuddling that were bound to follow. I was sitting on the windowsill in my bedroom looking out onto the small car park at the front of the boarding house. There were eight houses in total, one for each sex in every year. My room was small but comfy except there wasn't enough room for me to spread out all my work and designs. I was used to much more space in my father's house. My desk was covered in my plans for the rebuilding of Olympus whilst my homework and class notes were placed in messy piles on the shelving above my bed.
I was pretending to write an essay that I had perched on my lap but I'd written about five words in the last half an hour. I'd been too preoccupied with looking at pictures of Percy and I and our friends at Camp Half Blood. I missed seeing them all. I wasn't a completely friendless but I wasn't popular either. Joining the school at sixteen meant that most of the girls here had already made close friends and I occasionally found it a bit awkward. However the girls in the rooms next to me were very nice and I enjoyed the time I spent with them. I'd never really had girlfriends before and never had time to just enjoy being in their company. Sometimes it was fun to just be a girl and not live the demigod side of me.
I was ecstatic when I saw Percy appearing at the side of the house and he walked briskly towards the door. I moved to sit behind my desk, not wanting to appear as though I was anxious to see him and made it look like I was working. I waited eagerly for him to arrive at my room door.
A few minutes later, there was a gentle rap on the door. "Come on in," I called out, tapping my pen gently against the back of my hand.
I turned my head as the door clicked open and my grey eyes met the sea-green ones that belonged to Percy Jackson. He was wearing a gentle smile as he closed the door behind him and strode quickly across the room. I moved out of my chair and walked as gracefully as possible towards him. Within seconds I was finally in his arms, which encompassed me, stronger and more comforting that any fortress.
We merely stood there for a few minutes before Percy's attention moved to my lips. His kisses were sweet and tender for a few minutes but soon became more passionate. The intensity of the kisses caused me to go weak at the knees and I fell backwards onto my bed, bringing Percy with me. Percy's arms were tight around my waist, his hands travelling up and down my back. The warmth of his mouth against mine sent tingles along my spine.
Suddenly there was a loud knock on the door. The sound of someone very self-assured knocking. I decided it was a teacher or house cleaner or one of the girls asking if I wanted to study with them. I wasn't too happy at whoever it was though.
Percy gave a groan and removed his lips from mine. His green eyes focused on mine and suggested that he was very annoyed at being interrupted as well. I pushed my boyfriend off me and briskly walked to the door with the intention of telling the person on the other side to go away. I swung open the door, a scowl present on my face. I wasn't expecting the person that was there, Poseidon, god of the sea. My scowl turned to surprise.
"What are you doing here, Dad?" Percy asked from his place on the bed, shock also evident on his face.
"I just decided to drop in for a word," the god said, sharply. "And this is what I discover!"
"Dad, we weren't doing anything," Percy tried to explain, sitting up and patting his hair to try and tidy it.
"It didn't look like that to me," Poseidon commented, fixing us with his sea-green eyes.
"But we weren't!" Percy tried once again.
"Regardless of whether you were today or not, there will come a time when you will want to. And there are responsibilities that you should be aware of if you are going to be in such a relationship with someone," Percy's father said humourlessly, turning to sit at my desk.
"Dad, Mom told me all this years ago and I'm sure Annabeth's parents told her too," Percy argued.
I nodded miserably. Why did it have to be one of our godly parents that discovered us in a compromising position? I was terrified Poseidon was going to turn me into seaweed or something. He was perfectly capable.
"You really don't need to waste your time in telling us something we already know and weren't doing anything about anyway," Percy finished.
"I evidently do need to remind you though," Poseidon announced, pressing his fingers together in a pyramid to rest on top of my desk.
Percy's frown deepened and he shook his head. "No, honestly, Dad, we're fine!"
Poseidon fixed him with a stern gaze. "I don't understand why mortals find this such a taboo subject," he stated.
"It's not so much the subject, it's just one people don't generally discuss with their parents," my boyfriend attempted to explain to his father.
"It is a fact of life, Perseus," Poseidon said and if it wasn't for the fact that he was a regal god, I was sure he would've been rolling his eyes.
Oh no, he used Percy's full name. We must really be in trouble. Or perhaps Poseidon was just not used to being argued with.
"Yes, so why are you lecturing us about it?" Percy tried to turn the argument back in our favour. "It's not like you gods never have it. At least I would only have it with one person if I did… not that I am going to," he said quickly.
Poseidon sighed and I could see the many years of suffering that he had watched, on his face. "You are too young to have the responsibility if things don't go the way you plan. I am a god of many millennia's old; you are not even seventeen yet. I am protecting you, as is a father's job."
"Its okay, Dad. We get it and we'll be careful. We know everything you think you should tell us," Percy promised, his eyes meeting his father's.
"Still, you shall listen to me until I am quite certain you know everything I think you should know," the sea god told us, slightly mocking his son's words. Well, I definitely didn't think we were going to get out of this one if Poseidon's tone was anything to go by.
The next half an hour was excruciatingly painful, Poseidon didn't spare a single detail, telling us everything that could go wrong and what he suggested we do about it. Percy and I stayed quiet for the most part of the god's lecture with Percy occasionally commenting that the gods never worried about any of these things. At the end of his lecture, Poseidon gazed at up superiorly, as if he was expecting us to thank him for what he had told us. I wanted to disappear into a hole in the ground and Percy's expression suggested that he felt the same.
Just when I thought things couldn't get any worse, Poseidon pulled a handful of florescent pink condoms out of one of his pockets. Percy blanched as his father dropped the small, square packages into his lap.
"They're a new enterprise by Aphrodite," the god told us, "use them well."
Percy tried to argue once again, that we had no need for such things, but Poseidon still wouldn't listen. He excused himself, saying that he had godly matters to attend to. He left Percy and I sitting opposite on the bed, looking very embarrassed.
I have returned... can't believe how long it's been since I used this account- I've been busy in other fandoms on my livejournal account (tomacoma). Might see about posting a few bits on there.
Anyway, I've just finished the new book- have to say I enjoyed it, particularly with the Roman nature of things and how I've just started Latin in uni. Though I was slightly disappointed we didn't get our reunion! :(
Also, has anyone read the Kane Chronicles- recommended or not? And how many are there? Considering reading them as a starting point for my Egyptology module next term as I know much less about Egypt than Greece/Rome.
Anyway, let me know what you think. There's a possibility for an Athena chapter if everyone wants it!
Thanks for reading,