Disclaimer: Sadly I do not own Doctor Who. Then David Tennant and Billie Piper would still be on the show, 'cause I would never allow them to leave
A/N: Second Doctor Who fic posted here! This story contains some of the same elements as my other story "Midnight Melody" because I was writing them at the same time. But nonetheless I hope you enjoy and please leave a review.
It was all his fault. He did not care what anybody would say. Guilt was slowly, painfully, tearing him apart from the inside as he watched the pale, still figure on the bed. It was useless, a small voice in his head said, but he refused to believe it. Sure, she had been mortally wounded and her heart was about to stop beating, but he would save her! He had to!
But then, it happened. Her single human heart stopped beating and a shrill tone filled the TARDIS infirmary. For a moment he stood there, completely petrified, but then he was there, by her side, desperately trying to make it start beating again. Asking, begging for it. Please, little heart, wake up! Tears started to well up in his eyes, but he blinked them away. C'mon Rose! C'mon you daft little ape! Breathe! Live! PLEASE!
Memories filled his head. How they had first met. All of their travels. The Bad Wolf. The kiss (How could he ever forget?). His regeneration. The Sycorax invasion. New Earth. Queen Victoria.
"C'mon Rose, you can do this," he said, his voice choked up. "R-remember I still owe you that trip to Barcelona. We can go there, once you get better. Please Rosie, all you have to do is wake up. Please just live!"
But nothing happened. Her heart stayed still, her body stayed dead. Soon the Doctor collapsed next to her, trying his hardest not to break down. He grabbed the nearest phial of something he didn't really care about and threw it against the wall, where it shattered to a million pieces.
"WHY?" he yelled. "WHY HER? SHE DIDN'T DESERVE ANY OF THIS!" But there was no answer. Of course, he was alone. Always the Lonely God. The man without a home.
He looked at her. Even in death, she was so indescribably beautiful. He pushed a stray lock of blonde hair away from her face, and gently kissed her forehead. He leaned down and whispered in her ear: "Goodbye, my beautiful Rose. I love you. I always have. I just wish I could have told you when you were here with me."He had just been too much of a coward to tell her, and now it was too late. Far, far too late.
He left the room, looking back at her until she was completely out of sight, before he went to the control room. He had to get her to Jackie. Although, he wasn't sure he would leave the Powell Estate alive. He tried to smile, but it didn't come out right. As he stood there, in front of the control panel, he could feel the temptation. He could go back and change it all. One little pull and Rose Tyler could live on.
He had taken her to a planet far away, and had accidentally insulted one of the locals, just like he always ended up doing. But this local had been armed. He had aimed his gun at him and pulled the trigger. The Doctor had closed his eyes, expecting to feel the pain as the bullet entered his body and then the fire of regeneration. Instead, a scream had filled the air, but it hadn't been his own. It had been too feminine. Feminine... he had opened his eyes and to his horror, his brave Rose had been lying on the ground, a red stain spreading across her chest.
He shook his head, trying to make the image go away, but to no avail. It haunted him. Her pained face. The tears running down her cheeks. The writhing on the ground. He shuddered, and tried to focus on the meeting with Jackie. He punched in the coordinates, before he was too tempted to change it all. He felt a slight jerk as the TARDIS changed its direction. He was going to tell Jackie that her daughter had died. That beautiful, brave, compassionate Rose had been killed because of him.
He slowly sank to the floor, openly weeping. He couldn't even remember the last time he had cried like this. He, the Oncoming Storm, had been brought to knees by the death of a single human girl, but if one human deserved his tears, it was Rose Marion Tyler.
As he sat there, sobbing, he failed to notice the sound of steps nearing, however, he did notice the soft hands which grabbed his shoulders. He stopped crying and froze. What? Who was this? He opened his eyes, looked up and gasped.
Sitting in front of him was Rose, but something had changed, Her hair was no longer short and blonde, but long and curly with a more natural brown colour. But that simply couldn't be right! She was dead!
"Doctor, are you alright?" she asked. Oh, that voice. It was just like hers, but it couldn't be. He jumped to his feet and backed away from her.
"No! No! Y-you are not here!" he said loudly. "You are dead!"
"Doctor..." she started, but he interrupted her: "I must have hit my head. That is the only logical explanation. I hit my head, and now I am seeing things which aren't real." He started to run his fingers over the back of his head, searching for a bump, but the only thing which came out of this search, was his hair sticking in every direction. "Okay, no head trauma." he paused for a second, studying her. "Then you must be some sort of shape shifter. Or a slitheen. Aha!" he yelled. "That's what you are, right? A slitheen."
"I am not a slitheen!"she said. "And I can prove I am Rose."
"Ha, I very much doubt it," the Doctor said. "Stay where you are!" he quickly said as she took a step towards him. "Go on then, prove you are my Rose."
"All right," she said, trying to ignore how her heart fluttered when he called her 'his Rose.' Since when had she been his? Probably from the moment he had taken her hand. She didn't mind being his, not at all. She would be his forever. "Very first word you ever said to me. I was trapped in that cellar surrounded by shop window dummies. You took my hand and said one word. Just one word. Run!"
He stared at her for a second before running over and catching her in a bone-crushing hug. "It's you. It's really you." he muttered over and over again. She held him tight, a few tears falling from her eyes at seeing him in such a state.
After what felt like an eternity he pulled away and stared at her. "What happened to you? How did you survive?"
"Well, the last thing I remember is being shot... you carried me to the TARDIS... the rest is black until I woke up in the infirmary. I don't know how I survived, but I'm glad I did."
"Me too," the Doctor said and smiled brightly. But soon it faded away as he said: "And I am sorry, so sorry, for what happened. It was all my fault. I should learn how to keep my mouth shut."
"No, Doctor, you have nothing to be sorry about. It was my decision to save you, well this you."
"No buts. Doctor, please, don't feel guilty about this." How could she forgive him so easily, when forgiving himself was so hard, but he knew she was just as stubborn as he was and with her help he would be able to get over this. In due time.
"All right," he said. "Back to the infirmary with you"
"What? Why? I feel fine," she said and pulled against him as he tried to drag her along with him.
"I know you do, and that is exactly why we have to go. I want to know how you can be alive, when you were clearly dead some time ago." She still resisted until he used his secret weapon. The puppy eyes. He knew she would never be able to resist it. And sure enough, she sighed heavily, before saying: "Okay, I will come with you. But first, will you please kiss me?"
The Doctor stared at her, eyes wide open, his jaw nearly hitting the floor. "K-kiss you?" he said in a high, squeaky voice. "You want me to k-kiss you?"
"It doesn't have to mean anything," Rose said. "Just consider it a once dying girl's first request."
The Doctor seemed to have calmed down, and when he spoke again, his voice was no longer squeaky. "And what if I do want it to mean something?" This time it was her jaw, which nearly hit the floor. He smiled at the expression on her face.
"It would change everything," Rose said once she had overcome the shock.
"Well," he said. "I can live with that."
He leaned down and captured her lips in a soft kiss. She kissed him back and ran her fingers through is soft hair, which made him moan slightly. She sighed as she opened her mouth and the Doctor deepened the kiss, and their tongues battled for dominance. She moved her hands to his shirt and started to pull at his tie.
Suddenly the door to the TARDIS smacked open, and the shrill voice of Jackie Tyler rang out: "WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE?"