A/N: Alright, this will be my first fan fiction! I hope for any who read it to enjoy, and I warn you, my rendition of Gensokyou will get perhaps a bit dark here and there.
Disclaimer: None of this belongs to me, save for me myself, within the story. Everything Touhou related belongs to ZUN.
A/N2: Well, now! time to update it to match the rest of the story, and fix it up some. Also, as the look of this will now be different, as well as my user name not being the same anymore... Yes, this is the story that the first patchouli blog used for invoking "lulz"~
A/N3: Hahahahaha, and now the fanfic has been completed! Let's see about fixing this up, hmm? Jeez, my older works were horrible...
Twilight, the Outside World, who knows whose PoV:
I leaned back in my computer chair, and stretched like a lazy cat. I was doing as I usually do to pass time, which as one would expect of someone sitting in a computer chair of all things, I was messing around with my computer.
That is, until I heard the quietest of sound coming from beneath me; I heard the quiet murmurs of women in my basement.
Doing what one would wisely do when they believe an intruder or ten in their house, but unsure as to if they were simply hearing things, I grabbed a bat from my closet. It was a nice bat, made of solid oak. Perfect for self defense, as well as playing the sport known as baseball. Not that I had it for the latter reason. ...Now that I think about it, why do I have it? Just for the former reason...? That sounds a bit odd, but I'll just go with that.
I left my room, and made my way through the ground-floor of my home, in the dark; I wouldn't want to alert any intruder to my presence, now would I? That would be unwise, right?
As one of the lights was stuck on, as it always was, I eventually entered the the light of the dining room. Connected to the dining room was the kitchen, which I soon made my into, as that was where the stairs to the basement were located. I didn't see it, but on my way through the dark, a hand had grabbed at me out of thin air.
I opened the creaky squeaky door to the basement, which made me curse not oiling the hinge, even if I was well aware that it did this every time it opened.
I swallowed hard, knowing that it would be too dark in the basement without turning on the dim light, so I tightened my grip on the bat with one hand, before flipping the light switch with the other. From below, I heard whispers and quiet chatter, causing a chill to run down my spine. There had to be atleast two people; what sort of burglar, murderer, or otherwise competent intruder would chat with themself while in the process of intruding? Simple answer was they wouldn't, as doing so would make them far less competent than is required to be considered as such. However, if there were more than one, it would be expected to an extent. My ears are rather sharp, and so hearing these things was actually quite the accomplishment for others.
As I clutched the bat with shaking hands, I began to descend the stairs, hoping nobody was in wait around one of the many corners that caused half of the basement to remain unlit.
In my fear, I bumped my head on an irritatingly low-hung rafter, and rubbed my forehead, several profanities silently passing my lips.
With that bit of pain ruining my bout of terror, I began to search the large basement quite thoroughly, my body now only slightly quivering in fear.
After a thorough inspection, I deduced that I had been hearing things, and began to make my way back up the stairs with a relieved sigh.
On the way back up the stairs, something grabbed my ankle, causing me to trip on the stairs. I look back with terror in my eye, finding an eerie amount of nobody to do the grabbing. I already know there wasn't anybody back there. I made damn well sure of that! It couldn't be a ghost, could it...?
Shivering at the thought, I began to rush out of there, and ran all the way to my room, slamming the basement door on my way out.
Whatever it was, I had lost all morale that I had built up.
When I finally reached my room, I swiftly turned my computer off, and made my way into bed, kicking my un-secured boots off, and hiding under the covers like a child scared of the Boogie Man.
A few minutes later, having calmed slightly, I popped my head out from under the slightly suffocating feeling of being under the fluffy comforter. I looked to the empty darkness of my room, sighing with relief at the lack of anything scary that I had feared would greet me. Maybe I was simply mistaken...? But I felt it... I felt a warm hand on my ankle...
With my fear sedated, I found myself to be slightly tired, and so began to remove my confining clothes. No matter how I tried, such things always got in the way, when it came to sleeping.
Twilight, Gensoukyou, Hakurei Shrine:
"Alrighty, now... I know I'll... I know I'll get a little bunny... thish time~!" Yakumo Yukari was standing at the base of the stairs that led up to the Hakurei Shrine, the stairs being used as seats, while her audience of drunken women were watching with boredom apparent upon their faces. She had decided to throw a flash-party, which was a semi-common occurrence at the Hakurei Shrine. Typically, it involved her spiriting away every Gensoukyan of note, and giving them access to free alcohol. Alcohol and Tea being the top two choices of drinks in Gensoukyo, none of the guests were about to complain, even if their state of dress was at times lacking when spirited away. She always chose around twilight to do as such, as those who were here were a combination of the day walkers, and the night stalkers. However, once Yukari herself gets drunk, it becomes quite unwise to ask the elder youkai for a return gap, lest you wish to end up on another plane of existence entirely. For example, there was that time when Yuuka was sent into the future, and was eventually brought back with the widest of grins upon her features.
Thus far, while trying to pull a rabbit out of a hat, Yukari had managed to pull out various Outside World contraptions, as well as a few other things. Well, the few times she had gotten anything at all, that is. It was also quite obvious that she had hidden a gap in her hat, what with the ribbons dangling out the sides of her hat, but nobody was about to bring that up. Plus, it was entertaining in and of itself to watch such a powerful creature fail so badly at a simple magic trick, which she was cheating to pull off in the first place.
Now on the seventeenth try, she reached into the depths of her hat yet again, feeling something more desirable to pull out than yet another vibrator. "Ahh!" She felt the flesh of an ankle in her hand; this was far better than the time she had pulled herself from another dimension, and had ended up having to dodge some rather nasty attacks. That had been a particularly bad failure at grabbing a rabbit.
Her hat began to stretch wide, allowing her enough room to pull the owner of the ankle through, she did just that. With little effort, she pulled the one that the ankle belonged to through the gap. The ankle felt familiar, but she was too drunk to think too hard on that. It had a certain feel to the skin. A particular peculiar quality that stood out. The flesh wasn't soft. No, it was a bit tough, and dry.
"Ehh...? You're... you're not a bunny." She looked the au natural human over, before she noticed something off that caused her to raise a brow. "Ohh my, I... I better get you shomthin' to... to wear!" She dropped the human into a gap, which she had actually managed to get right, which in of itself was rather impressive by this point.
Soon, the human fell out of a gap a meter off the ground, clad in a rather loosely-fitting purple kimono, with a purple obi, and no actual pattern. It looked rather nice on her, if baggy in the chest. It also went well with the brown of her hair, as a little bonus.
Being dropped from such a height was quite enough to jar her awake, however. Suddenly yanked out of her sleep by yet another blow to the head - this time caused from a metre fall - she blearily looked about, seeing many women in the dark of the night, many of whose eyes were glowing with various colors, while others simply reflected what little light which was around. Beside her was a woman whose eyes were glowing with an inner purple. They also all stunk of Sake enough that even a human could detect it with ease.
Soon the outsider found herself victim to an idea that was cunning to the drunk mind of Yukari; If you can't manage to catch a rabbit, why not just make a rabbit? And so the human fell into another gap.
"And now... for my nexsht trick... I'm gonna... pull a rabbit outa thish here hat~!" The great youkai gave a grin, and proceeded to stick her entire arm in the gap, searching about like wild. Eventually her face lit up, and she pulled out a rabbit the size of a... well, of a rabbit.
I looked about in confusion, feeling utterly baffled at what had happened. I felt like I just took a step into the twilight zone or something, with the way things had gone just now. I had seen many, many horrible things. I saw human bones just floating through a void full of eyes, a great number of various knicknacks, a few priceless artworks, and much more. I also saw an entire train, along with the accompanying tracks that seemed to stretch on into the distance.
I felt as if someone was pinching my neck, and squirmed about as such, trying to get away. I found that my legs weren't even touching the ground, and that my body felt wrong in many ways. I looked about with my now blue eyes, trying to figure out what was going on. Before me, people were cheering from a tall set of stairs; I could see them somewhat better now, and actually could describe them reletively well, if need be. I wonder why that is...?
I eventually looked at myself, wondering why I felt... off, for lack of a better word. I didn't feel right at all. Upon seeing why that was, my little eyes went wide, and I let out a little screech-like sound, causing me to be dropped on my head yet again. I was starting to get a bit dizzy from all these blows to my head, and so had to struggle to right myself.
"I told you all... that I could do it~!" I looked up at the woman who towered over me, and from the sound of it, she was also the one that had done this to me.
I began to look about in a panic. I didn't want to be small and cuddly, even if it might be a nice change from being so tall. No, stop think like that. You have to do something drastic, if you want to get noticed, and going with the flow is hardly drastic. I looked to the exposed ankle of the woman in purple, and gained a rather idiotic plan. You know, the kind that would surely get noticed, and perhaps killed?
I awkwardly began to try and walk on two legs towards her, and ended up falling over. The crowd seemed to find this adorable, and simply let their approval be known, by way of going "D'aww..." as a collective, as if they were one of those pre-recorded audience sounds, such as a laugh-track.
With an irritated sigh, I began to try walking with both my arms and legs, assuming myself to now be a quadropedal animal, and it worked just fine, if a bit slowly. Judging by how the titan in purple was talking about rabbits, I simply assumed that she meant that I was now a rabbit. What with having no reflective surfaces to peer at myself in, I couldn't confirm this to be true, but all signs pointed towards it being the truth.
"And... and now for my... for my nexsht trick... I'm gonna reverse dat mountain..." The towering woman pointed towards a mountain in the distance. Unbeknownst to me, said mountain's name was Youkai Mountain. "And... and tha shky~!" She pointed towards the heavens above, earning her concerned mutters from two of the crowds within her little audience. Before they could voice their concerns, I chose now to sink my teeth into the woman's ankle. Surprisingly, I didn't break the iron-like skin. Also surprisingly, said skin didn't break my teeth.
The end result was a bit of pain for the one who I had decided to unleash my toothy fury upon, which turned out to be a rather stupid idea, as you would expect. Like most bad ideas, it seemed like a good idea at the time.
"Ahh!" The giant of a woman that had earned my ire kicked me off of her, sending me flying a considerable distance. The impact of her foot against me was enough to break ribs, while the impact with the ground was enough to crack my skull quite nicely.
As my consciousness began to ebb away, I heard the voice of the woman I had bitten, once again. "You... you shink you can... can bite me, and... get away wit it...?" She held up a hand, and suddenly sobered up"I was planning on sending you home in one piece, you know~ One rather human piece... Ohoho, but now you seem to be in need of a bit of a punishment~!" She began to grin widely, exposing her oddly sharp looking perly whites. From a gap in the air, a fan fell out, land in her hand. She pointed the closed fan at me, and grinned widely, before I fell into a similar gap in the ground, sending me into a vast pit of un-ending eyes. The eyes all matched her own, not that I was coherent enough to make such an observation by this point.
The hole that I had fallen through soon closed, and I began to scream in agony as my body was to forcefully remade into something different. If not for the continuous horribly painful changes to my body-structure, I would have been quite unconscious from my injuries by now. Oddly, my bones all began to mend, just as they began to creak and groan at being lengthened, tearing my flesh as they did so. With every tear that was opened, more flesh appeared, covering the hole that the tears had opened. The white fur that had just covered my body began to fall out, leaving me with nothing but a head of fur. Next, the last of the un-needed fur was shed, and the fur atop my head began to lengthen, until they matched my once chocolate locks in length; there were differences, however. My once wavy, chocolate hair was now white as chalk, and as strait as can be.
By the time the process had finally ended, an hour had passed, even if it had felt like an eternity of torture to me. Once my body was once more that of a humanoid, I was launched out of another gap, and my head collided with a tree, causing my world to finally go black. More damage was done to the tree than my skull, but it still shook my brain about like one would expect of such a blow.